Today, 13 degree weather, frost and light snow covering everything greeted me as I poured fluid into my windshield fluid container. Up and about at 6:00, I have chapters to write, but I do not want to miss making memories with my sweet ones.
Last week, Joy attended a Biola Bound weekend in California where she is considering attending college in the fall. As I drove up to the campus to pick her up, everyone looked old to me and like prowlers out to get Joy. How could my baby be old enough to attend? How would she manage without me?
My throat thickened and tears welled and I felt abandoned and powerless and sad for the reality of her leaving.
She bounced out of the dorm where she was staying with excitement, life, stories and a faith to take on her world.
So I tucked my sadness away and celebrated with her in her cheer and joy.
Funny how time changes things. Yes, there were the days I was so overwhelmed I didn’t know what to do. Days of depression. Days of boredom. Days of wondering what I was thinking when I had these 4 children–and then decided to homeschool them.
But, little by little, God taught me a rhythm of life, showed me to cherish them, stretched my life and emotional and work muscles, and I fell in love with my children, my home and the life we shared there. Little by little it happened by His Spirit leading, instructing, enlarging my heart.
And now home, through book deadlines, conference details, myriads of correspondence and requests, only one thing is in my heart. To keep my priority of God and people, to make decisions every day to keep the first things first. Next year, I will long to talk to her face to face and see sparkling eyes and hear her antics and what she has learned and the details of her busy life, But I have today to grasp and hold and subdue. Hopefully by the time I have a chapter written, she will be up and around and we can spend time together. And Joel who is only temporarily home for three months after being gone for 4 years is here to celebrate now.
Just called Joy now that she is up and made plans, pizza for her friends coming to practice speech, chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate for all and Joel and me a date to share the thoughts and dreams bubbling around as is always constant in our home. Joy shared with me life-changing thoughts from her quiet time this morning–how very often she speaks into my soul.
So, somehow we will all gather, at least for moments planned and protected to love and build the strings that tie our hearts together a little thicker, that we will all long for this time, together, the rest of our lives.
Joy’s friends warming feet by the fire–a sweet memory in the midst of some other cold on another day.
Sally,
Thank you for the reminder to cherish the days we have with our little ones as one day we’ll be longing again for that time.
I was so bummed to have missed your conference in Denver, but was blessed to be able to hear Jodie Hartfield speak at our church this past weekend, sharing what she’s gleaned from you and your materials. It is truly amazing the number of lives that have changed due to your choosing to live intentionally and helping others to do the same. Thank you!
Enjoy your day! Love you!
Being a mother is so hard! We wear our hearts on our sleeves. We pour our love into them and take care of them the best we can, just to have to let them leave and forge their own way. Seems like a cruel joke!
I’m not looking forward to the goodbyes!
love this post Sally . It make me feel all cosy and warm fuzzy in my heart
Reading this post this morning that I woke up heart heavy, feeling a bit of a failure and worthless (oh, how the enemy’s arrows fly)… reminded me of the high calling of wife and homeschooling mama… my heart is brought low in order to draw near to the One Who says His grace is sufficient for me…
Thank you for your heart…
Isn’t it so much easier when they are excited and happy! Yes, I do miss my kids. however, it is SO thrilling to hear about plans and successes and forward plans after failures. And when they do come home, I find myself staring at them, grabbing a hug and a snuggle as we pass, staying up at night and caring not a whit that I’m tired and would like to go to bed…. I’ll sleep when they head back to school!
My kids like to get letters from home too – real ones that go through the post office and end up in an otherwise junk-and-bill-filled mailbox. They will even occasionally send one my way! It’s another way to let them know they matter.
Susan
Once again your words touch the heart of this often weary momma, and just at the right time. Your are indeed a blessing in my life.
You are always an inspiration to keep my eyes focused on the prize. So often, we can miss the mark and look at the things around us instead of the blessings right in front of us.
Another great reminder to choose joy!
I’ve just been introduced to you through a friend. I’m reading 2 books for the first time and Ministry of Motherhood is really speaking to me abundantly. I am only on the 2nd chapter though so far.
When you said, “Funny how time changes things. Yes, there were the days I was so overwhelmed I didn’t know what to do. Days of depression. Days of boredom. Days of wondering what I was thinking when I had these 4 children–and then decided to homeschool them.
But, little by little, God taught me a rhythm of life, showed me to cherish them, stretched my life and emotional and work muscles, and I fell in love with my children, my home and the life we shared there. Little by little it happened by His Spirit leading, instructing, enlarging my heart.”
I felt that you were in my mind and heart. I truly want to feel change. I am in the days of depression and boredom and truly desire for that to pass and to be stretched to where I fall in love with my children (again). Please tell me how I do that? Any advice?
That is certainly a sweet memory of warming toes!