Be His Best Friend


May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18

A couple of weeks ago, my husband called me and told me “great” news. His boss had agreed to fly both of us to the annual 4- wheeling trip in Oregon. My husband was so excited because the trip was right up his alley-lots of ATV’s, sand dunes,  great food and fun with his friends from work. (Not to mention a bit of danger because the sand dunes were 3 stories high in some places!)

You see, my husband’s  hobby has always been riding dirt bikes. It’s kind of his thing. He goes to ride on Saturdays (on a very dangerous track) and I do other things around the house, go shopping  with my kids, or have a bit of tea somewhere with a friend. It’s been a great arrangement, because I did not have to go. But now I had to make the decision to leave my children, (who are older but I still like to make sure they are taken care of) arrange for a party to be covered at my house and go do something that really makes me nervous and is not really my interest. (God does put opposites together and has a great sense of humor!) I realize that some women would jump at the chance to go do something like this, but I am quite a chicken and don’t really like to camp, etc. (I know this could be considered blasphemy since I live in the great outdoors state of Colorado, but I really like the indoors- actually, I LOVE the indoors) Think of something that you REALLY don’t like to do and that is how I felt about this trip.  So you can see my dilemma.

I was lamenting about the situation to my daughter, Christie and she was so excited for me to go that she offered to cover the party at my house for me and watch over her little brother. I was whining to another family friend who told me that “You should totally go. Randy loves to ride ATV’s and would love having you there to support him.”  Two of my closest friends told me in no uncertain terms that I would be very selfish not to go.

So basically, I received no sympathy no matter where I turned.

So, I prayed for God to give me grace (which translates to giving me a good attitude) and I decided to go. I was still a bit grumpy at the airport and fussed at my husband a little . (I know, I am completely sinful; I am working on it)

We finally flew the 3 and a half hours and then promptly drove the 4 hours to the dunes to our little home-sweet-home, AKA, the local casino hotel. (It was the nicest place in town). I fell into bed and started to pray. I prayed for forgiveness about having such an ungrateful attitude, I prayed for a fun weekend with my husband and I prayed for God’s angels to be around us the whole time and keep us safe.

The next morning, we had a lovely breakfast and headed to the campsite. I was so delighted to meet all of the wonderful people that my husband works with. His boss was a generous man who provided  all of the equipment for us  and was such a servant to everyone who was there. The other head of the company was a kind man who had an amazing wife that cooked and cleaned her heart out for every one of us- there were about 60 people in all. We donned our helmets, goggles and seat belts and took off in our Razor, a dune buggy of sorts that could powerfully make it over all of the dunes and all of the obstacles that we encountered. My husband was an amazing driver and I felt completely safe.

The whole trip turned out to be a blast and a wonderful memory. I even got to encourage a sweet Mommy of 2 small children who later wrote to me to thank me for encouraging her. What a blessing!

I realized something that weekend. Even after 22 years, my husband still needs me to be his girl, his best friend. He still needs me to “feel his muscles” by telling him how wonderful he is and how safe he made me feel in the dune buggy. So much of the time I think that life gets the best of all of us- the children need us constantly, finances are tight, our marriage might be challenging, etc. and we forget to be the woman that our husband married- his best friend, his recreational companion. On our wedding invitation, we had a cute picture of a child-like bride and groom and it read “This day I get to marry by best friend. The one I laugh with, dream with and love.”

May we all ask God for the help, grace, desire and wisdom to be our husbands best friends. To laugh with them, dream with them and love them, and enjoy this life that we have been given with our husbands.





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  1. Erin @ My Mommy World says

    I’m glad that you had such a good time!

    My hubby loves car racing and I can’t bear to go to the track with him…loud noises, I can’t ever hear the announcer, lots of smoking and drinking around us, and cars going in circles for hours. Ugh. But, I know he would love for me to go to a race with him. I think I’ll suggest we go soon :) Thanks for the lovely post!

  2. Linda Tang says

    What an important, convicting nudge! You are right, the day-to-day responsibilities and commitments to our children can take center stage where connecting and doing things together once had their glorious spot in the sun. What a great reminder to put our husband’s interests ahead of our own and give of ourselves with more sacrifice than perhaps we are comfortable with…what a beautiful way in which you gave to your husband and your marriage! Thank you for sharing your experience and this message….for sure sharing with readers on my page so they can be inspired (and brave if needed!) as well.

  3. maria b says

    I had to learn to like my husband’s interest…his music, his movies, his hobbies. As life has given us a pretty hard time, it was my husband’s constant support and his love for Christ, that has kept me calm and without worry.

    Once I let go of ‘me’, I was able to enjoy my husband’s joys. Good for you Deb for sharing time with your husband and for giving him your undivided attention! m.

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