A fresh cup of grace and truth with Sally Clarkson
Hope is
Two hands fisted,
Held before you side by side.
One caging in a wasp,
The other clasping
Butterflies.
Touch one too bold,
Provoke a sting,
Clutch the other,
You will crush,
Its wings.
Hope is holding,
Wishing with an ache,
The patient balance
Of two possible, opposing ways.
It’s to endure,
The weave of pain,
With grace,
The tension of a maybe grief,
Against a fragile, fluttering,
Faith.
Sarah Clarkson
Dear Ones,
I have intended to write but have just been gently trying to catch up and refresh a little from all the travels and speaking engagements. I am in Ashville, North Carolina again–seems we have been here 5 or 6 years for a few days in Spring to ponder life, eat well and catch up on rest. Sarah and I have been here together. It started when she was a teen and we were living in Nashville and we snuck away for a few days to begin the writing of a book I think I will try to finish this summer. You will read the story of how we discovered a wonderful place when the book comes out so I will let that be a surprise to those of you who don’t yet know the story. It is a gift to be able to get away with this precious, first born. Indeed, she is one of the deepest, most beautiful of souls that I ever invest time with–and again just being with her is filling my soul. Sarah reads and ponders and thinks and evaluates life constantly (sound familiar?) and she also enjoys all the things I enjoy, so it is a gift to both of us.
Why do I love Asheville? It embodies much of what I enjoy–physical beauty–mountains, flowers beginning to bloom this time of year; old, artistic architecture; great homemade food–organic and whole and fresh in many of the restaurants; great music; wonderful bookstores; lots of trails and neighborhoods to walk and numerous places that serve a great cup of tea. (Chealsea’s tea room has been a place we have visited for many years at least once during our stay. A great little cafe and shops in the Biltmore village area.)
We brought my wonderful, dear friend, Lynn Custer, with us for one day. She has taught many mom’s groups for 12 years and has traveled with us all over the United States, at her own expense, for many years–just to be able to help moms. We wanted to spoil her just a bit for all the faithful labor she has accomplished. We took her to a new, cute cafe where we enjoyed a lovely breakfast. It is called Tomato Jam Cafe. Great tasting, huge whole wheat bisquits (had some yeast in them.) Potato pancakes, grilled with Applewood bacon and wonderful, grits. A lovely little four year old girl greatly entertained me as she sat near her mom, who was busy cooking our breakfast, and cut out an owl. She reminded me so much of Sarah when she was a little girl-so it was great to be in this environment.
Walking downtown, we came upon several bookstores, old and new, which definitely required a couple of hours of our time. And then an antique store beckoned and we obeyed. Each of us found treasure with our name on it! Sarah found old, hard-back books for a dollar apiece; Lynn found some beautiful glass-wear that she has been collecting since she was married; and I found 4 sconces with glass–two large and two small, for table-side candles. They all had the glass in tact, so I couldn’t resist (the large pair were $45 in one part of the store–and I found another identical pair in the back of the store for $15–so I had to get them! The others were brass and were only $8. I can’t afford much with all of these older children in my family who are in school, driving cars, using computers and wanting to eat and wear clothes in the midst!)
We walk miles and miles while we are here–to the nearby grave yard where O’Henry and Thomas Wolfe are buried. Also, by the old, rambling turn of the century homes with grand porches and great yards. We stopped in at a local Jamaican cafe where we split a delightfully spicy meal of grilled veg’s, fish over almond, rice–and then walked home. I could go on and on–but then I wouldn’t get to write in my journal and dream of what God has for me and my family. It is good to get away and ponder–the Lord always shows up and I get refueled enough to create new dreams. (How do I afford this? I put away $10-20 dollars a month in a special little hidden drawer all year long–and if I get any Christmas or birthday money of a windfall–there it goes–it is how I have afforded many pleasures over the years with my children–rigorous saving of dollars and dimes that I can then go to for fun, special occasions. It is also how many moms afford our conferences–by saving all year–a bit here and a bit there!)
This has become a very special time for Joy, too. She is such an extrovert and dearly loves the families we are close to–so she gets to stay with 3 families and plays her heart out in between classes, and dance and her regular babysitting job for Mops! She loves the ways she is spoiled and makes memories with her friends. (I have adopted friends as family since we don’t really have any family that our kids can stay with–I found I had to learn to create my own support systems and small groups and accountabilty and friends over the years–by planning, initiating, and providing a structure through which fellowship could take place.–More on that in another article! But the Lord has indeed built some angel friends into my life!)
Why do Clay and I not travel together? Sweet Clay decided years ago that he would almost always rather stay at home and not travel in between our conferences–so since he knew I needed the break, (when I go on my little trips like this–there are no dishes to wash, meals to cook, people who know where I am–just total invisibility) he would always help me plan these times during his busy writing season when he has to work long hours. He loves home as a haven and can’t be away from the office very long without it overtaking him, so he stays home and so enjoys home. I am very grateful for a husband who blesses me by allowing me to get away! And I am so blessed to have built, in my home, my own very best friend to go with me! (Though, all of my kids are really my closest friends and that is why I do take them alone on trips–to have talk time and to search souls together while on adventures!)
However, do please pray for Clay this week as he is on his way to Texas (after having been gone from home for 2 weeks), where his brother will meet with him. They found some big issues confronting their 86 year old mom–of a financial sort–that has developed in the few months since we last saw her and her capacity for perceiving reality has gone downhill. Please pray for grace and wisdom and provision for Clay and his brother as they seek a solution for his mom–who probably cannot stay by herself any more–but the cost for such help is almost beyond us–so yet another place where we will have to rely on the Lord.
There are so many ideas and dreams that have bubbled up during this time which I will be sharing in the future weeks–what does it mean to step out expectantly in faith? What is the result of complacency and passivity for believers? How do we provide structures in which blessed fellowship takes place so that we our selves may be nurtured? What does it mean, in a good Biblical sense, to wrestle with God? Why is work so important? and much more.
I was so blessed today, when Sarah, who has been very weary from so much travel, said, “Mom, I think all children should grow up working as hard as we have had to and learning to serve people as we have. It gives them a pattern to follow the rest of their lives! Sure I get tired, but when I have had a good night of sleep, I see how necessary it is to keep going and keep working and keep reaching out!”
Thank you, Lord. I often feel that my children could be tempted to be critical of the amount of work they have had to do to help us in our ministry–but so far, by God’s grace, their attitudes turn to thankfulness–at least most of the time!
So, tomorrow, we will be back in the saddle again–one more airplane, hauling more books, setting up more tables, sleeping on one more hotel bed as we speak for three days at the Hearts at Home conference in Normal, Illinois. I look forward to seeing many of you there. I know the Lord will be there to encourage and bring hope to many as He has done for me this week.
Blessings to you of God’s grace, peace and beauty today!
Sally@who
leheart.org
I am off to Dallas in a couple of days and I look so forward to seeing so many moms there. I consider it such a privilege to be able to serve God by serving moms, because they are the trainers and developers of leaders of the next generation. Often people have asked me why I am traveling so much and working so hard at this season of life. I have to. I keep hearing of precious young adults who are compromising their morals, giving up their faith, making decisions that bring about scars in their hearts and souls. I sometimes feel that I have only a limited time to reach as many moms and parents as I can in my lifetime and I want to meet Jesus face to face and be able to say, “I gave my whole heart and time and life to you and your kingdom’s cause because I love you. You are worthy of all of my praise and moments and life. I treasure you and sought to be a steward of all the wonderful truth you taught me.” We must each take serious our responsibility to be a steward of His grace, love and redemption.
Our young adult children are confronted more than ever with post modern values. Almost every movie, television show, book has an expectation of immorality, infidelity, impurity. Our children are confronted with it at every turn. There are fewer and fewer models that we can point to, to say, “follow His pattern of leadership, of sacrifice, of holiness.”
That is why we must, in our homes, be a true and vibrant picture of the living God, of the depth of Jesus. However, we must ponder often what that means. I have asked myself often just what it is that is causing so many of our older children to fall. My children have precious friends who have grown up with godly parents and heard all the messages of the gospel, and yet they still turn away from God. Many of these parents were faithful and wonderful. But I will share with you what I am learning.
It is a very lonely world out there for godly children. They will find few young adults with strong values and convictions. They will have to stand alone again and again amongst the crowd–the veritable sea of people who are not living with a paradigm of faithfulness to their creator. Loneliness is very difficult to bear over and over and over again. Therefore, we need to stand in the gap, to be there for our children, to reach out to them, to understand their temptation, to keep giving and giving and giving–to continue being the servant leader that Jesus was.
But there is something else I have been thinking about. Often, in our zealousness, we live by fear in the presence of our children. We tell them of the harsh realities of the world, we make them memorize verses, we indoctrinate them with our philosophy and focus on their behavior–we follow methods and formulas and law. But we must understand that it is only when we reach their hearts and pass on a true love of God that they will become engaged in His life.
I have focused my past few years of spiritual life on Jesus Himself. Jesus is, according to Hebrews 1:3, “The radiance of His glory, the exact representation of his nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power.” In other words, when you see Jesus, you see God, himself, living in the flesh.”
Looking at Jesus is to look and behold God himself. Jesus was a man who walked on water, was tossed about in the stormy sea on a smelly fishing boat, he held a picnic and satisfied the hunger of thousands of people several times–he didn’t just talk about truth, he satiated hunger of rumbling stomachs. Jesus touched the untouchables–he touched with tenderness and love a prostitute, lepers, sick and dying. He held and fondled on his knee children and laughed with them and loved them. Jesus was not afraid to rage at the religious leaders who led people in legalism and performance but were not compassionate–he was not afraid of the rulers. He talked of birds, trees, lilies, mountains, and creation. Jesus washed one hundred and twenty dirty toes, the night before he died, and wiped them tenderly with a towel as a mother bathes the children she loves. He celebrated and drank wine at a wedding, cooked fish on the beach and validated women for their service and tender love of himself.
People have often asked me why I emphasize beauty–art, candles, beautiful music, a cup of tea, cinnamon rolls, great stories and books and celebrating life. It is because I want to bring the reality of God and His life into my home. He painted the skies and the flowers, her touched human flesh, he gave a capacity to think, he told epoch stories through prophets and in his sermons, he fed and celebrated amongst his own disciples. He comforted the sad, healed the broken hearted, inspired the vigorous young men amongst him to live for a kingdom that would never end. He modeled, through his every waking hour, the vast love, compassion, holiness, beauty, touchable food, and servant leadership that expresses the very heart of God. Jesus is not just a thought to be understood, a verse to be memorized, but a living, breathing, vibrant, loving, personal God who lives and breathes amongst us in my home each day. He is the way and He is with us along the way.
It is the life and reality of a God who came to love and serve and redeem that is what my children long for in their hearts. They experience this through my life and service and love and excellence and faith and confident celebration of life. I can only give to them what I have found by loving Him on my own, by seeing Him with my own eyes, but understanding Him in my own quiet time and then living from a soul fully engaged in Him. The joy of life, which is contagious, comes from being in His presence and enjoying Him. (In His presence is fullness of joy and in His right hand are pleasures evermore. Do I experience this? Do I believe it? Do I live it?)
In my personal relationship with my children where I love and value and serve them as Jesus did His own disciples, my children will not just hear of doctrine and manners and chores, but they will feel the touch of Christ, the compassion of Christ, the encouraging words of Christ and they will learn to love Him because they have felt and seen and lived love in the minutes of our lives together. Even as Jesus said, “I will never leave you or forsake you,” so I will let my children know, “I will never leave you or forsake you–I will be praying for you, I will celebrate life with you (and cook for you and give you gift cards when you are far away from me.) and you can tell me anything and I will be your friend and companion as well as your leader and guide.
Love will be the foundation of our discipleship relationship as love is the foundation of Jesus’ relationship with me.
So when our children are out in the world, (Jesus said he would not take His disciples out of the world, but he asked the father to keep them from the evil one–to deliver them from temptation–we must send our disciples into the world as Jesus did, when they have been trained and understood the kingdom and the King, that when they are mature, they can also be redeemers.), we will still be with them, close to them, pursuing them and active in their lives. Lonely children, even young adults, always need to have someone to lift them up, to encourage them, to believe in them, to help them–it is the way of discipleship, motherhood and servant leadership–it is the reality of Christ lived through us.
So, as I go to spread these messages, I would so appreciate your prayers, for safety in travel, for health for my family as we serve, for my children to stay faithful and to live in His strength and reality, as I feel that as Clay and I are serving our wonderful Lord, Satan hates us even more and my children become targets. Please pray for them and for us. I so appreciate so many of you who help and give and serve and pray for us together in the ministry God has called us to. May each of you be blessed and prosper in His grace, strength and love today.
I awakened to this when I opened my eyes!
I received such sweet letters and emails the past week as many of you shared about your hearts that were lonely. I wrote my article last week, because I have felt it myself –having moved 17 times in our marriage and know what it is like to long for a friend who understands you, prays with you, and also to have your children have such friends. There is a Biblical need and longing for community. Yet, in our day, community is not local as it used to be. It has to be intentionally built and cultivated.
In our days of faith-challenging changes of moral foundations and volatile uncertainties, in an era of confusion when biblical motherhood is often disdained or dismissed as irrelevant or unimportant in a post-modern culture, we are ripe for a movement of the Holy Spirit. There is need for an intentional movement of godly women to hold forth the ideals, to inspire confidence, strength, faith and good works and in the midst, to develop deep friendships–as I believe that God created women to be the wisdom bringers, gate-keepers and civilizers of culture through relationship.
I have a wonderful friend who is such a joy to me. She is 68, and yet her desire for bringing life and beauty and love to women so burns in her heart that she is almost always alive, energetic and engaged whenever I see her. She has made her home a haven, so that just to be inside her rooms is a pleasure. Soothing colors on her walls, pictures, small relics and treasures through out her home that bespeaks of the many places she has lived and traveled, her love of the Lord, her value for family. And always a candle lit, soft music playing, and a pot of fresh tea ready in case someone might want to come by for a few minutes of fellowship. There is a lovely little room in her basement, just ready for someone who needs to get away–two single beds waiting for the next guest.
Every year for the past 15 years, she opens her home to young moms once a week. Her “cupa” is shared, sweet fellowship for the first few minutes, prayer is offered, scripture is opened and taught and discussed as the Basic tenets of the Biblical design of women and mothers is studied and discussed. Literally hundreds of women have passed through her doors in these studies, including me. Each week, women leave with hope, conviction, ideas, love and renewed and refreshed spirits.
Where there are real relationships and real love and heartfelt devotion to the Lord, life takes place. God built us for relationship. God built us for love and friendship and intimacy–the desire to be known and still loved. When we as women experience this kind of relationship and warmth, our whole demeanor is different, our emotional and spiritual cups are filled and we become better at everything–walking with God, loving our children and husbands, bringing beauty in our homes and in reaching out with God’s grace to others. It is what we were designed to do.
One of the reasons I have come to disdain television is that it replicates real life–but it is not real life–there are virtual friends, virtual stories, entertainment is sought to fill the cavernous holes and vacuums in the soul–but it replaces real relationships, real love, real ministry, real service and only placates and dulls the soul. Television replaces visiting and sharing friendship, book discussions, creativity–cooking, painting, sewing, writing letters, articles and books, reading aloud, playing games, having groups and families in the home and so we live an isolated existence. Consequently, Christians have not had an impact on culture–but media has. It has defined the moral values and character of this current generation. But it has not satisfied their souls. Real, hand to hand, voice to voice friendship and intimacy is what is longed for–hoped for.
That is why we must figure out a way in the midst of our busy-ness to recreate community and fellowship. We need to connect heart strings from one to the other–and have a helping hand for each other in the midst of our burdens and our joys. I do see an amazing thing taking place amongst many beautiful blogs and websites where women are connected to each other. I applaud the talented women who do such a great job at bringing these loving messages and beauty to each other all over the world. At this time in history, we are able to connect to women all over the world in a moment’s time, to love and encourage.
Yet, we all need to know that there is someone nearby who is real, to touch, talk to, cry with–to know. Yet, I have learned that often, if this kind of fellowship was going to happen, I would need to be the one who would initiate it. God was an initiator–he came to give, he healed and blessed and taught and sacrificed. It was what we were also made to do. I travel so much that I cannot always do as much locally as I would like, but I have come to really appreciate the encouragement I receive when I open my home from so many sweet, like-minded women.
The first Tuesday evenings of each month is something I look forward to with growing excitement each month. About 35-40 women gather in my home and we meet over snacks, fellowship, the word and prayer.This is our third year running. This month, we will all bring our favorite Christmas appetizers or deserts and a favorite mug or tea cup. Christmas traditions will be shared and a devotion about the beauty of the soul and faith of Mary will be given, as together we reflect on the strategic role a mother played in the life of Christ.
Later in the week, I will have a luncheon for a sweet group of women who will help me with the Mom’s conference here in Colorado Springs. Just meeting for lunch and working on a ministry project together will bring our hearts closer together. I will also have a Christmas tea for a few friends and some friends of my daughters as it is an anchor each year in our lives for the past 15 years. We will have a Christmas open house and invite people we know and people we don’t know very well into our home for snacks and goodies, and to get to know some better. There are a couple of more dinners and pot lucks that my children have asked us to have for their various groups.
This will mean much more work for all of us, more cleaning, more cooking, more food shopping and preparation and more giving of all of us. And the goal this year is to do it on a strict budget–but I have found that others don’t mind throwing their own snack or salad into the mix. This in the midst of the deadline of my book, my boys coming home for Christmas (yeah!!!!); ministry meetings for Clay and me and out of town company, and so I take a deep breath, knowing it will be quite busy. Not to mention the family Christmas traditions.
Yet, it is a commitment we have made–it is work we have decided ahead of time to embrace as a defense against the isolation and separation–the thing Satan would love to accomplish–the isolation and separation of people from loving and connecting and serving one another.
I think that when women have this kind of fellowship, they will hold to ideals, grow stronger, and continue to cultivate vision. Spiritual fellowship is essential to spiritual growth and hope. This is why Clay and I started our Mom’s conferences many years ago–to give moms a chance to be in a room full of hundreds of others who celebrate these ideals. This is why I write my books, based on Biblical principles, with Bible study questions at the ends of each chapter, so that moms will gather in their own homes and do the same thing–experience that amazing fellowship and life that takes place when women take time to open their hearts together. It is why so many of you open your homes and teach small groups in your churches.
It is not about being a great teacher or hostess, but about having a heart to encourage. Anyone can light a candle, invite moms over and open the word of God over a chapter of a book. Then, somehow, the Lord take over and friendship and fellowship grows. I know of so many moms who say, “I can’t add another thing to my already over-burdened life. Yet, I really believe that most women cannot afford not to reach out as it is a life-line to encouragement and hope. It also brings life, love and hope to a family.
Sometimes my house is clean and ready, and sometimes people have to come into my little piles–sometimes there is china and real food and sometimes there are paper plates and pizza. But my goal is love and friendship, not to be Martha Stewart. Some seasons, especially with small children, just a little group was all I could muster–especially during those ear-infected, asthma years–but we still made some attempts every year as a foundational commitment. Some seasons, I have been weary, wondering if anyone would every recipricate–but now, I have grown in this area, slowly, knowing that whether anyone recipricates is not the goal–just having that environment where life is and love is helps my soul.
This is where my passion has grown to start the Mom Heart Ministry–to establish spiritual groups of women all over the world who can stand strong together. To train leaders to start groups and supervise and encourage the moms who will also lead.To write devotional resources so that moms can have guidance in knowing how to study the Bible, a website that is geared to this spiritual fellowship and helps and messages and God’s design and help.
I do look so forward to seeing what God will do at our Mom Heart meetings before our conferences this year and at our conferences. I hope that there will continue to be an army of women, committed to the well being of their children’s spiritual life, education and training; marriages repaired, husbands love and supported, homes a place of life and beauty and grace. What a privilege to be a part of what God designed us to be and to know that by our faithfulness in this, we are going to see history changed as we live out what we are designed to do. I look so forward to seeing many of you there. But for those who can’t come, know that our desire is to have a place for you to come hear the messages and to be encouraged with your own friends right where you are in your own homes, as we seek ways to make our conferences and materials available to your groups right where you are. (Of course it will only happen at a snail’s pace if Clay and I have to get it all going in the midst of what is already on our plate–but we are counting on the Lord raising up a team of women–writers, administrators, web whizzes, and prayer warriors who will by God’s grace be a part of what we think He is already doing!)
So, in the midst of the many activities this month, make time for fellowship, love, friendship and prayer together. When you model this to your children, they will become lovers of people instead of lovers of things; they will perceive themselves as people who have something to give and serve because they have had to do so in your home. They will learn to have compassion on the downhearted and lost because you made your home a place of refuge for all who would come there. These are the essential things that will fill their souls and satisfy their hearts. They, like us, were made for love and purpose not toys and things and entertainment. They were made to be a part of something bigger than themselves–they learn it by you being involved in others’ lives and in your giving of yourselves as a family.
It doesn’t have to start with something big. I could only do one activity a month when my children were little. But God grew my capacity over the years. He stretched me, he trained me, showed me how to be more efficient. Maybe when I grow up a little more, I will do it all better and give more easily. But it has become such an area of passion for me–to see the connection of real hearts to each other–real support–real friendships even as Jesus shared with His disciples.
Have a wonderful week and gather with at least one person or family and celebrate friendship. I prayed for all of you this morning.Peace.
Sally
Sally@wholeheart.org
PS Be sure to connect to the conference links above at the top right column. Today we will be picking the November winners for the $50 coupon. If you advertise the conferences in December, you will also be entered into the drawing for 2 more $50 coupons to be applied to a conference, book tables or the book store. (Write to Jennice@wholeheart.org if you put an announcement on an email list, facebook, blog or other list!) We want to reach as many sweet moms as possible with the encouragement of our speakers and great fellowship! Thanks for your help.
Joy running Kelsey in the first snow! (Sorry about your head, Joy!
“He established a testimony in Jacob and a law in Israel,
Which he commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children,
that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born,
that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God
And not forget the works of God and keep His commandments.” Psalm 78
We knew it was coming, but this fall was a prolonged splendor of crisp, autumn days perfect for hiking. We so enjoyed our jaunts by the national forest several days a week knowing that they would be gone too soon. This morning, I opened my eyes and saw swirling, blowing snow rushing about outside my window. (We don’t have any curtains on our bedroom windows as we face our backyard which has no one in our sites.)
Now, I knew plan b must go into action. We were going to an outing, but I knew the snow would cancel it. Now I already know that we will not do math–we never do math on Fridays! We can snuggle up for a longer Bible reading and have a longer talk over breakfast. I think I will read out of the Celtic devotion I have been enjoying.
Now the day holds at least one or two cups of tea and or hot chocolate, the fire burning and reading out-loud for at least an hour. A perfect day for teaching Joy how to make Broccoli soup to go with the bread we made yesterday.
And that blog she was going to start for girls in their 10-15 year old range–maybe I could assign an article and have her work on the design, since her computer class was canceled today.
And I need her to listen to the song Nathan has picked out for her to sing with him at the competition in January. She will have to pick out the one minute segment she thinks will be best. Piano practice and playing a fun card game in between should make a great day of memories and input.
Of course talking, talking, talking–gigging, correcting, a fair bit of eating and nibbling.
I have that peace and assurance that these are the very kind of days that are shaping Joy’s heart, soul, mind and filling her emotional tank along the way–giving her appetites for the right things in life, stretching her mind by exposing her to ideas and thoughts from others, giving her a chance to exercise her own skill at creating, writing, performing, putting her imprimatur on all sorts of things in our home. The Lord and people and life drift in and out of our conversations all day long naturally, because these are the things of our real hearts. It’s not a formula, but a relationship that starts with Him and ends with her.
How I like these gifts of time, knowing that my window of time into Joy’s heart is going to close sooner than I can imagine. Having three siblings before her gives me grace, freedom and peace in the midst of her varied days knowing it will all turn out well. I don’t worry about the result, I just enjoy the time I have, knowing God will be at work.
I love seeing her grow and stretch her wings. She has a little job with MOPS babysitting all the children for 2 hours during their Bible study–makes $40 a month (got a $1 raise yesterday!) and it helps her to give to the Lord, save a bit and then have some money all her own to spend on things she enjoys. “Mom, I just wish I could teach some moms how to be Moms!” she said as she hopped in the car yesterday.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, you can really tell the children who are nurtured and have had their souls filled with love and training.” (wonder who she has been hanging around with or listening to! 
) Some of them seem happy and are easy to take care of and steer in the right direction and some are always whining, and or fighting or hitting. And you won’t believe it but one child was fine until her mom came to pick her up and when she did, the little girl clung to me and started crying. Her mom yelled at her and said, ‘I am gong to McDonalds without you and I am going to leave you here!’ I can see why she wouldn’t want to go with her- she had no clue how to gently reach the heart of her little girl.”
“What would you do instead, Joy?” and so began a 15 minute discussion while munching our sandwiches together.
At thirteen, whether I like it or not, Joy is beginning to strain toward adulthood. I am becoming more and more a guide to build on the foundations she has been given. But I also know that her movement in that direction will provide me with another adult best friend. So even though I hate the thought of her growing up, I love the thought of seeing her flourish and spread her wings to take the messages of her heart and mind–and to build the legacy, hopefully, into the lives of her children, that the baton of righteousness may be passed on and on faithfully to my children and grandchildren. (Please, Lord, bring my children godly spouses in your time! and give me a grandchild to fret over before Joy leaves! )
And to think this is what God designed me to do–to enjoy my days with the ones I love, talk and have fun, create life and enjoy my day and in this to be building His kingdom. What a privilege! What fulfillment. What fun.
Every year in August around the time of our anniversary, we celebrate a family day. We arise to cinnamon rolls, cheese eggs and spend the morning together remembering the ways we have seen God’s hand work in our lives over the previous year. Every year, we come up with more reflections of His faithfulness than I thought we would have and it helps us to write the story of the Clarksons year by year–giving us a heritage to pass on of God’s faithfulness! Then we drive up to Mueller state park for a picnic of once a year home-fried chicken, baked beans, deviled eggs, fruit, Texas sheet cake and have fun.
Each year we have to take a family picture. Over the years, we have hiked, giggled, fed the birds, run through the hills and trails–and always 1000 pictures. First is the big family picture. Then we take lots of other pictures fun, wild, silly and so on, and of course since I think this might be our last family day when we are all together, I insisted on a lot of pictures. Here are a few!
All the kids being serious.
silliness.
Boys being boys–at 6’3 and 6’5, they are no longer my little boys! Nate, 19; Joel, almost 22!
The girls–Joy, 13, Sarah, 24 and Sally–ancient!
Running through the fields.
The Mama and Papa.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched … but are felt with the heart.
Helen Keller
The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me
new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and
Beauty. The ordinary objects of human endeavour – property,
outward success, luxury – have always seemed to me contemptible.
Albert Einstein
Every once in a while, Clay and I take an overnight to get away together. (the picture is at the top of the mountain at Dawson’s grave) Clay is my best friend, heart companion, who in the midst of our very busy life with our 4 kids, never gets enough alone time to talk! Usually the purpose of getting alone is to pray, read scripture and plan our ministry for the next six months to a year and to go out to dinner all by ourselves! It is always good for us to be away alone. I think because we both feel we are called together to be involved in something bigger than ourselves, often the glue that has drawn us even closer, even in years of stress and difficulty, is the sense that we are a part of God’s kingdom work and he has something for us to do during our lifetime.
Though I sometimes become weary of traveling and writing and speaking, the one thing that drives me is meeting so many young adults who are lost–emotionally and spiritually and who have scars. Often, their growing up years have been wrought with such havoc because of their parent’s selfish decisions, they don’t even have a place in their mind or experience to understand the truth about God’s reality. Since I see this sadness and sorrow and brokenness so often, it drives me to do my part in encouraging and training and teaching young parents about their Biblical design to love, nurture and train their children in righteousness while cultivating a deep love for God. Our deep love and appreciation for the Lord and all the ways He has blessed us through knowing Him and His ways, keeps fueling the fire of our faith and messages. But getting away to dream really helps to keep us going.
So last week, Clay and I stayed at the wonderful Glen Eyrie retreat center (the view of the castle at Glen Eyrie from our bench at the to
p
of the hike) to pray, plan and talk. Clay is the architect and visionary planner, so we dreamed and talked about what we would pursue in the coming year. Late in the afternoon, we decided to hike up to the grave of Dawson Trottman, the founder of the Navigator’s ministry, who I mentioned last week. We sat at the bench where I had met with Nathan and my other children before.
On the way down, we walked by such a lovely scene that immediately my mind and heart drew back to a delightful memory in my childhood. (Clay took a picture of the iris below on our hike.) My mother had a rose garden in one of the homes in which we grew up as little children. My favorite rose was a peace rose–pink, yellow and white. I delighted in wondering around all the rose bushes and picking a beautiful bud just before dinner, to put on the table, when my mother allowed. However, every spring, she had another bed devoted to purple iris.
My mom was involved in a garden club–mostly social, but once a year, they had a flower show. When I was around ten, my mom said to me, “How would you like to enter the flower show this year? I think you should try your hand at picking and arranging a couple of flowers, as I think you might just have an artistic touch!”
I still remember how excited I was that she would share from her treasured garden with me. I arose early the morning before the show to ponder which flowers I would use. Though there actually were some young rose buds begging for my attention, my eyes were drawn to the lovely velvety purple iris. I pondered long and hard which one I thought was the most beautiful. I wanted just one beautiful iris to stand tall in a lovely crystal vase I had picked out from my mother’s china cabinet. Finally, I eyed one iris that seemed to stand out above them all and it was absolutely perfect–seeming to have just opened up. My mom helped me to cut it lower than I was inclined to do. As we walked toward the house, I spotted some yellow yarrow. “I think I will put just a few sprigs of the yellow yarrow around the iris to bring out the beautiful center,” I said outloud.
I still remember the butterflies in my tummy as I proudly held my beautiful iris in the car on our way to the competition. I didn’t want anything to injure or shift the delicate positioning of my work of art! We entered the large ball room where dozens of a varieties of flowers were standing according to category. The perfume of such glorious flowers overpowered us as we walked amongst the array of colors and variety. I found my spot with my name and carefully placed my flower upon the table. Perhaps it was my first experience at true love. Even though there were countless other entries, when I looked upon the whole room as I was leaving, it seemed to me that my single iris with the few wisps of yarrow was breathtakingly beautiful and outstanding above all other arrangements. My category was children’s artistic arrangements.
I went to bed early that night just so I could quit wondering if mine would win a ribbon or not. It seemed the next morning that breakfast took forever. Couldn’t my mom speed just a little bit to get there earlier, I pondered as we drove to the auditorium? As I walked in, I quickly found my beauty–and there, taped to the side of the vase was a bright blue, ” first place “ribbon! First in it’s class, the little card on the ribbon said. I don’t remember getting many ribbons when I was a child, so it meant a whole lot!
All of these feelings came upon me in an instant– a memory from 45 years ago–when Clay and I happened upon a spray of lovely, purple iris. I still felt proud and happy. I felt that warm, beautiful feeling that brought a smile to my face, of the pleasure of my mother’s trust in me to share her treasures–her prized flowers and the sweet closeness she shared with me alone in the experience of working on it, hoping and celebrating the moment together–just me and my mother–all by ourselves.I just had to share it with you.
Blessings of beauty this week!
Sally
Sally@wholeheart.org
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.- Genesis 1:1
God, the artist created the heavens and the earth. Psalms tells us that the heavens are declaring His glory. He created a place worthy of our admiration and marvel. There are vibrant colors, pinks, fucias, purples, greens. There is texture–a puppies or kitten’s fur, rough rocks, gritty sand, cool grass to lie in. Smells–lavendar, roses, coffee, bacon cooking, cook grass to lie in. Sounds to enjoy-the rush of a waterfall, to lure of music, the growl of al lion. Movement to be experienced–dancing in the breeze, running swiftly in the sunshine, swimming in pools of water. Words to ponder–romantic phrases, inspiring exhaltatations, soothing and comforting and loving. Thoughts to think and ponder–scientific order and origins, computers, trains, cars to create, stories to touch the heart, psalms to lift our minds to heaven. There is no end to what we could think of to ponder the artistry of God.
In Romans 1: 20, we read that, “His invisible attributes, His eternal power and His divine nature” have been clearly seen through what was made, so that people are without excuse when they don’t believe in Him.
As we were reading this verse this week, a lesson about His design lived itself out before us! Two mountain jays continued to build a nest high in the tree outside of our window. A pesky squirrel creeped up to the nest as he adeptly climbed the tree to the top and was just about to pounce on the imagined eggs that are out of our sight. The two jays began squawking and swept down upon the squirrel and chased him through the yard. It was such a fun sight to behold. Joy commented that if even the birds take care to build a home for their eggs and then fiercely protect the precious eggs, that shouldn’t adults, made in His image, do even more!
As I have pondered this the past few days, I have thought that if God’s creation bespoke of His attributes, nature, and power, shouldn’t the composing of our own homes and crafting of the art inside our homes also speak of His artistry–His nature, His power, His attributes? Colors, sounds, textures, words, music, tastes–all alluring and beautiful and meaningful? The most important attribute, however, should be His diving nature–revealed through the way we live in front of our children. They should be surrounded with the oxygen of His love, thanksgiving to Him, energy to create and work, wisdom to share, –that every day, our children are confronted with the living God by the work of our hands and the labor of love we accomplish in His name and through His power inside of us. Our home life and atmosphere are what truly build excellence and intelligence and soul into the warp and woof of our children’s being–the daily investing by each moment lived in the presence and for the audience of our divine creator.
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Many years ago, I started having a “holiday” table–Actually, I do change centerpieces, put out a new array of books, change the front door entrance planter, and redo the coffee tables in my living room and den. But, I want my home to be an interesting, captivating, creative and colorful place. I use small lidded plastic boxes to put the decorations in–(the valentines box has numerous kinds of hearts that friends have given me over the years–some to hang, some candles, some glass trinkets’ the fall box contains some leaf and floral arrangements; July 4th box, red, white and blue stuff and a George Washington statue, etc. etc.)
At this point, though, I have what I call a holiday table, that is always changed first. It is the place where people always come in. I bought a large, old English antique hutch at a second hand store. It stands in our entrance hall. The top of the hutch makes a natural place to bring color and beauty in the welcoming part of our home. At Christmas, there is an old creche that my grandmother crafted with her own hands. At Easter, it is decorated with pussy-willows ornamented with delicate painted eggs hung with care, collected in markets in Vienna and Poland when we were missionaries.
This week, I decided to make it a blue table–with spring objects and pretties—a colorful plate with a finch surrounded by boughs of spring, bright blue flowers and a lovely glass maiden, as well as a wonderful dark blue tea pot and cups–just given to me as a surprise by an angel friend who graced me with a gift which completed a small set I had begun. Always on our tables and around the house are candles (always in glass so I don’t burn the house down!) and books displayed. I have a couple of lovely children’s poetry books that are displayed on every page with a classical piece of art. Great for spring display!
If our homes are filled with beauty and the shadow of God’s creativity, our children will not only hear the messages of our devotions and prayers, and school books, but they will breathe in the atmosphere of color, great tastes and smells, dancing music, great stories, loving hand rubs or back tickles and they will expand in their souls to understand that our God, the original artist and designer, is indeed worthy or our love and adoration–because they will know that He is the author of all things great and alive with His pleasure and blessing.
(Now to all of you wonderful moms–I would like to abuse you a little! Please forgive my taking advantage of you. Joel, my 21 year old, and Sarah, my almost 24 year old, are taking a trip to Boston next week. I was wondering if there would be any families along the way who would be willing to keep them in your home overnight! Clay and I would feel so much better knowing they were in good company and safe! They will be traveling toward Boston through Iowa and Illinois and then upward and coming back down on their way to Kentucky to visit my oldest friend who is almost like their own aunty–who lives in Earlington, Ky. If this sounds like an acceptable adventure to any of you, you can write me at Sally@Wholeheart.org or to Joel at jicmusicguy@gmail.com or Sarah at itinerantidealist@gmail.com. They also need a family to stay with in the Boston area. Thanks ahead of time for your loving and generous concern–it has been one of our greatest joys over the years to meet such wonderful friends as we traveled! You can hear some of Joel’s music and his newest composition by going to eucharisto.wordpress.com . The Night as Bright as Day is his newest composition. The picture on this website is when he and Sarah had just come out of a rainstorm and had caught a train in England where they worked last summer. A prayer or two for God’s guidance and favor in his life would also be appreciated! Aren’t I the pushy mom? )
Blessings to each of you today and grace in your moments!
Sally (Sally@wholeheart for those of you who have been asking for my personal email! I read everyone–but am often so busy with my daily life, I don’t get to answer all that I should, but I do read and pray for my sweet moms in cyberspace each day!)
Articles on this blog copyrighted 2008
Today was a fun day. Since we can’t all get together for devotionals anymore during the week with everyone’s various schedules, we do a big breakfast and devos on Sunday mornings. Candlelight, music, coffee and pajama’d folks circling around. Today was a soufle, fresh fruit, cinnamon rolls and hash browns. It was fun to see how excited and loud everyone got when we got into a discussion from I John. I do have great memories of how our family has developed over the years into highly opinionated, articulate people. Sometimes it is exhausting, but today was fun.
It was snowing profusely and swirling in dancing gusts. A great day to stay inside and sit by the fire. Sometimes at 54, I think I should be sipping tea and contemplating my memoirs. But, I still have 12 year old who wants to play, so we just had to go out into the 22 degree weather and play. I followed in her footsteps (she had gone ahead to hide in a tree) and found my way through knee deep snow on a path that led to Sir Noble–the tallest pine tree in the area where Joy was hiding from me. We were originally going to meet at the top of the world (the top of the hill where we can look at the view of the mountain range), but after I trounced through Merryman’s passage ( the first part of the path), and on to the tree, I thought better of getting any deeper than knee high as I was already falling through her footsteps to the ground below. Joy and her exploring friend have named every section and landmark and played Robin Hood and thieves and princesses and orphans amongst the trees and paths amongst the houses. Great, rousing blowing wind and sparkling snow and a fun memory with my elf who keeps me young and celebrating the important moments of life.
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What a privilege it was to be in our conferences in Colorado, California and Texas to be amongst such wonderful mothers. My fellowship with all of you was so precious and being in the company of such committed women gave me more strength to keep going in my own role as a mom. Many sweet moms are up against such obstacles with illnesses, difficult marriages or working through the journey as single moms, knowing the weariness of the journey of constant with little or no support and financial constraints, and many having no background or model to follow. And yet, I was so encouraged by your stories and seeing many pictures of your children—you are my heroes because I know personally the work such a life requires, but I also know that your labor is not in vain and eternity and history will be different because of your great work of faith.
As always happened, when I returned from being on the road off and on for six weeks, including a trip for a funeral, I found my energy was somewhat depleted and the piles needed taming. But I am used to this from 10 years of doing it. I give myself and our family grace—we sleep later hours, leave piles unattended, school undone—knowing that in due time we will attack them all and get it all done in due season. I give us time to catch back up to life. We eat easy or store bought meals and paper plates for ease of cleaning, do leisurely, fun, “cup-filling” activities to give all of us who are depleted in the expending of so much energy, traveling and serving, a time to restore. It used to overwhelm me, but as I have studied the whole concept of seasons and even as I worked on the new parts of my book, I have found grace in submitting to the limitations of each season and leaning into it instead of resisting it. My passion is rekindled by being with all the sweet moms, my body begins to catch up, my emotions smooth out and the piles gradually disappear and I am then caught up again in the grand call that I have learned to love so much!
Blessings and sunshine to all of you this week!
Love and grace to you in the midst of walking with Him, who so wisely appointed us to this grand call!
Sally
(Sally@wholeheart.org)
PS Below is a dictionary definition, and a quotation as well as some of my own commentary on some excellent words written over 100 years ago—that still apply today! Enjoy!
The Civilizing of Our Nation
civ·i·lize
1. to create a high level of culture
2. to teach somebody to behave in a more socially, morally and culturally acceptable way
Enlighten, cultivate, improve, advance, subdue in terms of a people or nation.
“The home is the fountain of civilization. The value and character and appetites of a people are greatly determined by the reading, training and cultivating of moral and spiritual appetites in the home.
Mothers, you are the divinely-appointed teachers and guides of your children; and any attempt to free yourselves of this duty is in direct opposition to the will of God. If you neglect them, the consequences are swift and sure. …, Spend most of your time with your children. Sleep near them, attend and dress and wash them; let them eat with their mother and father; be their companion and friend in all things and at all times.”
From Mother, Home and Heaven from Poetic, prose and literature
Of all ages and all lands. Copyright 1878-1880
The above quotations were gleaned from a wonderful book that a friend gave to me at our Dallas conference. The words written over a hundred years ago are still very powerful today. This, in a culture where the imagination of the importance of mothers to the overall well-being of soul of the next generation has been lost. How affirming it is to see that truth of past generations still applies to us today.
Often, I find that in the absence of a clear enough vision for their children and homes, mothers replace conviction and vision with lots of activities and distractions for their children. This hyper-activity and rushing around to an endless list of expensive lessons and experiences and the buying of the newest expensive curriculum and technological options make moms feel like they are accomplishing something. However, when the home-life of children is rich with excellent, classic literature, passionate Biblical devotions, rousing dinner-table discussions around sumptuous, tasty meals, lots of love and affection given and household chores attended to—and a child will become committed to all that is good and excellent and develop a moral and compassionate soul for all the divinely important values.
From the beginning of time, God created the home to be a place sufficient to nurture genius, excellence, graciousness and grand civility. But the key factor is nothing that can be purchased or owned. The accomplishment of this grand life is found only in the soul of a mother, through the power of the Holy Spirit, personally mentoring her children.
It is a personal relationship with a real person whose soul is alive in which the deepest imprints of life are given. The secrets and deep emotions shared during the goodnight hours in which a the soul of a child is tender and open; the comfort of warm, home-made food shared in the early evening as ideas are shared and discussed and prayers and devotions given; the laughter, stories, advice given in the midst of washing dishes together or sharing of a meal; the heroic and riveting stories read aloud and shared together that establish common patterns of morality, values and dreams in the comfort of the blazing hearth, mugs of steaming hot chocolate and squishing against each other on a den couch are those heavenly things which are food to the soul and nourishment to the mind and conscience of a child fully awake to all that is important in life.
There is no computer, television, software or text book that can pass on such passion, love and motivation.
It is indeed the personal touch of a mother’s heart that creates grand civility, deep affection, care and commitment to the foundations of a family. When the invisible strings of a mother’s heart are tied to the heart of her children through loving sacrifice and nurture, the stability and foundations of a nation become secure and stable. A mother, living well in her God-ordained role, is of great beauty and inestimable value to the future history of any generation. Her impact is irreplaceable and necessary to the spiritual formation of children who will be the future adults of the next generation. Fun, comfort, humor, graciousness, spiritual passion, compassion for the lost, hospitality, chores, meals, training, life-giving words, hours and hours of listening and playing and praying and reading—all are parts of the mosaic which go into the process of soul development.
One of our favorite fall traditions in our home is putting away fruit for the cold winters ahead. Now I am not a canning type of person, and don’t know very much at all about preserving fruit or vegetables. Yet, many years ago, we got into the habit of putting peaches and apples up for the winter and we have such great pies and crisps and fruit to have with our homemade soups in the winter because of our fall effort! I even think that food that you have lovingly prepared yourself for special occasions tastes even better because of the pleasure you get out of producing it yourself.
This year, we bought a couple of boxes of wonderful peaches from our farmer’s market. Later next week, we will make a trip to the Apple Farm and pick a couple of boxes of apples to make into applesauce. Yesterday, Sarah, Joy and I each sat on the den floor on a beach towel. We each had our own box of peaches to work from and a bowl to put our peeled and sliced peaches into! We almost always watched either a tales of Avonlea or Anne of Avonlea or Anne of Green Gables–though we have seen it a thousand times, we always do it in the fall. We peeled for a couple of hours and then bagged up the peaches in zip lock baggies. I also made a peach pie for dinner, served with ice cream–that was our whole dinner.
The reward of our labor was to sit with our piled high bowls of hot peaches and cream with a steaming mug of tea. We have been sitting on our porch at nights with our plates in hand for dinner just to enjoy what is probably to be the last of the golden autumn fall evenings. In Colorado, we know that snow is surely coming soon, so we want to squeeze out every lst bit of pleasure.
Do you remember the childhood song “I’m a Little Tea Pot”?
I’m a little tea-pot, short and stout.
Here’s my handle. Here’s my spout.
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout.
Just tip me over and pour me out.”
Remember how much fun it was to hold one arm out straight and the other on you hip and pretend to pour yourself out?
As moms we tend to “pour” ourselves out day-in and day-out. Every single season of a mom’s life is personally and relationally taxing. Being a godly mother demands our emotional energy, our spiritual wisdom and walk with the Lord, our brains, and our time and resource as we focus on investing love, encouragement, and wisdom into our children’s souls. Because the nature of motherhood is to always give out, her mind, soul, and body are always expending resources.
It is so important to take time to be in God’s presence in quietness every day so we can refuel from the one source of true light. Focusing on the beauty and joy of God all around me has been what has kept me going through all of these wondrous and often bumpy years of motherhood.
Take time to refocus your heart. Take time to sit in your favorite chair after a crazy day, with a perfectly brewed cup of tea, a lit candle and soft music playing. Take time to soak up the beauty around you. (The Mom Walk)
***Bread and water can so easily be turned into a piece of toast and tea!***
