I Take Joy | Marriage

Our anniversary celebrating 29 years of adventures!

August 31, 2010 by Sally 6 Comments

This beautiful field of wildflowers is why I have been constantly crying and sneezing and scratching my eyes in the past 2 weeks!Hmmmmm—what is this about?

Twas the night before anniversary, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,

Mama drugged with allergy meds, and I in my jams, had just settled down for a short summer’s nap.

When down on the stairs, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away down the stairs I flew like a flash, tore open the vent, and there in the hallway, the blaring sound clamored.

5:07 a.m. Allergy medicine cradled my body and mind in the deepest of sleep when suddenly an ambulance two toned sound startled me awake. Trying to grasp where I was and what was happening, I opened my eyes to see Clay jump out of bed, heading toward the place where the sound was coming from. Within seconds Sarah popped down the stairs with utter amazement and Joel was mounting up the basement stairs sleepily staring all around to see what was going on.

Seems we have an alarm system that we didn’t even know we had and it was hidden in the heating vent below our stairs on our main floor. So stopping the sound required unscrewing the vent, and dismantling the wires that were connected to the alarm. How can you live in an home 5 years and never know you have it connected? After settling down from the noise, (which Nate and Joy slept right through!), Clay and I sat in our mom and dad chairs in the our den with cups of tea to soothe our frenzied minds.

He looked over at me sheepishly and said, “Happy 29th anniversary.” Guess this is a little like our whole lives–unexpected adventure and different interesting moments all along the way!

Anyone else out there having adventurous days?!

Filed Under: Family, Marriage, Our Family

Marriage–a story begun!

September 14, 2009 by Sally 8 Comments

Israëls-A Jewish Wedding-1903

A few days ago, a blog friend of mine asked me to write about marriage and advice about how to tell young women why not to have an affair. Please let me say that this is in no way complete–but I am coming from the perspective of having counseled many, many families on this issue as well as bringing our own experience into mind. To begin with, I have to say, God’s grace and life-giving redemption is something I have seen work in miraculous ways to bring restoration to broken people because of the destruction of marriages. But, I was asked to write about the ideals and ways of keeping marriage together. Of course there are many ways to approach this subject, but I always try to start out with what God had in mind.

Starting out with a proper vision helps determine the success or failure of any great venture. Long after the sparkle and expectations of the romance of marriage is worn off, the vision of marriage will be the glue that will holds a marriage together. The older I get, the more grateful I am that the vision of my marriage kept us faithful, because now it is so fulfilling to see the fruit of our loyal love to each other–that in spite of our many immature days, our very different personalities, our years of stress, baggage and habits we both brought into marriage,we have a legacy of loyalty, commitment, unconditional forgiveness and love–because we made a vow before God that we would live this way–and we took our vow seriously. The fruit has been born in the lives of our older children who have a basis of seeing the work and cost of loyal love daily displayed at home. Their appreciation for the legacy they have been given has meant so much to me now.

Neither of us (Clay, me) could have known what our marriage would cost us in effort, time, love, work, long-suffering. No marriage is easy and all marriages require us to become less selfish, more sacrificial, patient, enduring, and everything else. Yet, it is the training grounds of God–the place in which he sanctifies us–disciplines us and rubs off our rough edges so that we may become more like Jesus–to learn how to reflect his character–from the heart surgery he does on us through the moments and days of practicing loyal love. My children, who know how many people we have counseled in marriage, and were watching several marriages that “seemed good on the surface–but was falling apart in reality” said, “Does anyone we know have a good marriage?” I think what they were really asking was, “Is anyone really happy in marriage?”

Marriage was created to be a foundation to all of life. God created Adam and Eve, together, to be the unit through which all of life would find its meaning. The family was the structure through which purpose would be given (rule over and subdue the earth), comfort in companionship experienced–(Adam was alone–I will make a helper suitable to him–corresponding to him–his own type), life celebrated and traditions kept and comfort given and love and mutual respect would be felt. It was also the place where righteousness would be passed down from generation to generation. As the family goes, so goes the culture, the nation. What a person does to build her marriage and family will be the greatest long-lasting work of her life.

1820 Country Wedding John Lewis Krimmel

A wedding marks the beginning of a story. When a man and woman get married, they are beginning a new story of their heritage–the way they love each other, the way the live faithfully before God, the children they have, the heritage they build, the impact they have on history, the stand they take for God and his kingdom. The marriage day is a beginning of a potential epic. As in the picture above, there are children, aunts, uncles, cousins–all that goes into the unique heritage and strength of a family name. Many, many people are affected by the goodness of a marriage and the choices the husband and wife make.

Children and grandchildren will for many years to come recount the stories of their family. Remember when Mama used to always……? Remember the fun we always had when….. Your grandmother was always joyful or lots of fun or served people or always had a hospitable home–or took me to serve at the homeless shelter or had the most interesting stories or made the Bible come alive, or, or, or. (Dad had his first affair when, or mom broke the marriage when she met _____ or they always yelled and that’s when I developed my first stomach aches—and so on.)

Children, then, are an accountability factor in staying faithful. We have to choose to not give children a legacy of compromise, disloyalty, brokenness. Children always feel somewhere deep inside that it is their fault when parents are not loyal to each other. The way a husband and wife treat each other has a direct correlation on how a child builds his internal sense of his own being deep inside. It is very difficult to teach your children to follow the ten commandments (You shall not steal–even though I did by robbing someone else of their purity–you shall not lie–even though I did by deceiving my husband—honor God–even though I didn’t when I broke my vows before Him. –very difficult to teach your children to have integrity if you choose not to have integrity in the very place that is to be the foundational grounds of where they see truth lived out.)

It is so important to understand, that once a man and woman commit to marriage before God, that becomes God’s will in their lives. That marriage becomes the place they will live out their faith and faithfulness, regardless of how foolish a match it was to begin with–it becomes a place for grace. God wants us to take vows and commitments seriously. This is not my opinion–it is scripture Matthew 5:33, Leviticus 27 (I am not talking about a marriage in which a woman or children are in physical danger. I will not deal with exceptions here.)

To be a good wife calls upon all the best that I can possibly be–my spirituality, my intellect, my wisdom, relational skills, creativity, artistry, perseverance, character, beauty.

It seems that in this narcissistic time, when people are self-centered and self-absorbed, all of life focuses on the selfish needs of the person concerned. Is my husband gratifying me? Does his love fill me up? Could I have found someone better? But, marriage, as all issues of life, is about pleasing God–not my will but His be done. Most of us were not trained to be unselfish and so having to do so in marriage is a shock and surprise to our immature characters. And of course media has not prepared us for reality–bills, illness, less than perfect spouses, differences of values and personalities and commitments. Cinderella is a story, not a promise. The key to the success of a marriage is the way a woman faces the disillusionments of marriage–it is where love, grace, beauty and wisdom has a place to flourish.

I think that so many well-intentioned ministries and speakers focus on the behavior of marriage (Are you being submissive to your husband?) which indeed is one part of scripture. But I think the better place to start is not on the behavior–have you kept the law of marriage–but on the heart of marriage. What is your heart toward marriage, your husband, the legacy you will leave to your children?

“She does him good, not evil all the days of her life.”

What does it mean to do my husband good–not evil? I think that the Lord wants my heart to be soft towards my husband. What are his weaknesses? Strengths? How can I be a friend and companion to him–to enjoy him? to encourage him? To honor him? What is my attitude toward God, in light of how you behave in your marriage? Somewhere after the sparkle and ideals of marriage begin to wear off, a woman must settle in her heart that pleasing her husband and loving and respecting him is not about her own personal fulfillment, but about her heart to please God in everything. It also becomes a place of integrity before her children when they watch her loyal, gracious love given to a deserving or undeserving spouse. When I approach every attitude, act of love of respect as a means of worshiping God by showing His reality in my marriage, then every act has meaning–regardless of how my spouse behaves. There will also be conflict in every marriage and sometimes our convictions will rub on our husbands, but God will use us in their lives and them in our lives. Learning how to stand on convictions and wise ways without nagging is an art to be learned. My husband values that I am highly convicted, but I have had to learn how to not be a blind-pharisee and to see that I have huge blind spots. But we are as iron sharpening iron when we live with the tension of friendship and love and are both so much better for the commitment to our ideals.

God is a God of redemption and thankfully He can restore and heal and refresh the wounds that come from anger, harshness and ill-treatment and unfaithfulness in marriage. I have also seen that when one spouse is mature and behaves honorably before children, even in bad marriages, the children, when they become old enough, can be healthy and strong and led to emotional maturity and health–because they have seen grace in the face of foul play–love given in the midst of harsh anger–gentleness and servitude in the face of selfishness. I was reading an article the other day with overwhelming statistics that even when parents argue and have a lot of stress in marriage, that if they stay married, children come out being strong if the parents stay together–somehow the glue that keeps them going gives children a sense of loyal love–even in very bad marriages. Yet, I have also observed that many single moms have been able to pass on a legacy of graciousness and forgiveness when they have taught, modeled and helped their children in the pathways of grace. This is a long process and I would in no way care to diminish the pain, suffering and heart-break that so many have born in their own lives. But the hope we have in Jesus and his ability to answer prayer and to redeem is beyond our comprehension. But, in a culture that compromises as a way of life, the ideal of being faithful and loyal in marriage, as God’s designed mandate, must be upheld and taught as His plan.

This blog post is in danger of becoming a book, so I will leave off here. Perhaps I will write just a bit more about it later this week. But I will indeed pray grace for all who will read it and hope that you will find strength, right where you are, to build on the calling and vision of your own family and foundations for marriage. May our wonderful Lord give grace.

Filed Under: Family, Marriage, Relationships

Words of Life

September 1, 2009 by Sally 11 Comments

John William Waterhouse Preraphaelites

From time to time, I will be sharing some of my favorite artists with you. I picture this beautiful woman as one who sows beauty, stores goodness, gives life from the beautiful garden of her soul.

“A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word.” Proverbs 15:23

When I began to make joy a focus of my life, Biblical joy, and then wrote a book about it, I was so blessed, again, to learn so much in God’s word that is changing my life. There are times when I learn truth and feel so guilty that it makes me want to stop being in ministry as I see how much I have fallen short of God’s ways for me. But, if I take the truth as instruction for my own life so that I may live better and live more in the grace and blessing of the Lord, then I can just confess how I have fallen short, apply the new truth and move forward with God’s blessing of forgiveness and love.

Indeed it is true that what we sow, we will reap. Yet, sowing requires a decision of our will, of our heart, to decide just what we will sow—or another concept–what we will build. An area that has come to my own life lately is that of words. Words have deep and abiding power. It is through words that we come to understand the truth about the Lord. Words can give hope, life, redemption or death, guilt, anger, bitterness. We are to be stewards of our words and if we are walking with God, we are to plant words as seeds in the hearts of our children, that our words of blessing might reap fruit of life and beauty and hope and confidence in their lives.

The legacy of words of anger

I have talked to a number of precious moms lately who struggle with anger, impatience, and yell a lot at their children. Of course all of us have experienced this if we have lived very long. Yet, if we sow angry words, condemning words, guilt producing words, we will sow children who feel hurt, condemned, guilty, criticized, unloved. But, studying scripture in this area lately has really caused me to develop some stronger convictions again, about the importance of guarding my lips and keeping them from pouring out anger–and of asking for forgiveness when I do so! We all do this from time to time, but if we are to grow in righteousness, we need to use self-control in the areas of anger and learn to move more and more into His gracious, patient love over time as we mature in His own love and fatherhood of us.

Sowing words of life

A child has joy in an apt answer, I might paraphrase. And how delightful is a timely word. If children grow up on words such as, “I am so thankful for you!” “You are a blessing to me.” “I appreciate you because….” “God has a special place for you in his kingdom.” “You encourage me.” “I see that you are capable in ____area. You are the rock. You are a joy. You are faithful. You are a lover.” “I believe in you.” I believe in your dreams.” etc. , then there will be stored up in their hearts a deep confidence that they are loved, respected, appreciated, called by God to accomplish great things for His kingdom.

And in marriage….

As in all of the other areas of our lives, we have choices to make. In marriage, we can look at the great faults of our spouses or hold on to bitterness or rights and justify our speeches and lectures and complaints to them–needing to understand that this kind of speech kills a relationship.

Or we can look at those areas for which we are grateful or why we were attracted to our spouses to begin with. We can pile on guilt or discouragement, complaints, unforgiveness for what we have not received. This is the way of the world.

The ways of God, which are forgiveness and love, are to verbalize words that bring life. We must bear our spouses load and speak words of love, respect, admiration and support, and let them know we forgive them. What we sow we will reap.

Same goes in friendship, ministry, for children or for work. We can choose to be a blessing and sow seeds of faith in the lives of those God has brought in our lives, or we can sow death to a relationship.

Scripture tells us that, “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.”

Interesting that it is the heart of the righteous. When I have had a quiet time and spent time filling my heart up with the love and forgiveness and encouragement of God, then my heart is ready to be like His to those in my arena.

If we understand that if we are to reach our children with the messages of God, then we will see our children, through the filter of the eyes of our mind as those whose hearts need to be filled with the love and goodness and truth of God. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” To reach my heart, I need those who love me and accept me for who I am. Then I am much more likely to befriend them and get close to them. However, if someone is critical of me and I always feel judged, I will avoid that person.

If this is the way I am reached, through the love and acceptance of others, then I know that my own children will respond similarly. If I see their hearts need to be unconditionally accepted, as they are, even in all of their immaturity and perfection, then I will invest in a legacy of good, kind, restoring, encouraging words that build souls and memories of love into their very being.

Conversely, words of complaint and condemnation drive our children, spouse, friends far from us. Or words of kindness, care, encouragement can bring them close to us. We must choose and build the kind of legacy we want to have.

I am asking the Lord for myself, for what He talks about in Isaiah, “

“The Lord has given me the tongue of disciples, that I may know how to sustain the weary one with a word. He awakens me morning by morning, He awakens my ear to listen as a disciple.”

Do we sustain the weary with our words? Do I seek to be patient with a sleepy toddler, an awkward and frustrated teen, a weary and over-loaded husband, a depressed and discouraged friend? Are my words a fountain of hope and righteousness or death, discouragement and a piling of darkness.

In Matthew 12: 36-37 Jesus says, “And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account of in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words, you will be condemned.” Scary thought! I tend to talk a lot and I do have a critical spirit, so I have a lot to repent of!

But, I have asked for forgiveness. I have asked God to teach me to be one who practices giving words of grace and life.

I have been finding that the more I seek to sow words of life, to take initiative to re
ally tell people how much I
love and appreciate them, to give words of life, that my own heart has grown in love and in peace and acceptance of them and of myself. It is as all the other areas in which I learn to obey God, that in my obedience, I eventually become blessed. How patient a Father He is! How wise are His ways in my life.

I will end my thoughts with words of life to Him, who is my most wonderful teacher. I love you my wonderful, patient, loving, grace-giving, servant Lord. You enrich my life with your love and training. You sustain me in my weariness with your words. You bless me by your gentleness and faithfulness. Know that I love you today with all of my heart. Bless those who read these words today with a well springing from their hearts with words of life and beauty and love. Let those who need words of love, receive them from you. Then, fill their homes with love, life, beauty and give them grace today to live in your grace.

grace and peace today.

Filed Under: Art, Beauty, Bible Studies, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Marriage, Mothering

The Legacy of Motherhood

May 8, 2009 by Sally 6 Comments

Mom with her new Chinese Pashmina and me–her only daughter!

I have been thinking a lot lately about leaving legacies.
What are my children going to remember? How are they going to be different
because of their life in my home? What skills have I developed that give them
foundations of confidence?

I am just now flying on a plane to Dallas to visit my own
mom in Canton who is 86. I wanted to spend a couple of days with her over the
Mother’s Day weekend because I don’t get to see her very often any more and
because I so appreciate the legacy she left me.

When my father, who worked with IBM, met my mom, she was a
systems engineer with IBM. She was a new generation feminist who had a job and
was working and making her own way. But when my father proposed to her, he
said, “One of my requests, if we get married, is that you stay at home and are
available every day for our children, so they can have your influence on their
lives.” What that meant for my mom, was to pick us up from school, to be
available to us, and to build a good home base.

My mom didn’t understand the whole concept of passing on
righteousness to the next generation, or discipling her children, but she was
committed to making our home a place of beauty, love, traditions and where
marriage was foundational to our family’s unity.

When I was a teenager, I remember that my mom would rush
about the house every day around 5 pm and she would say, “Quick, you kids help
me straighten up the living room and kitchen. And then she would light a candle
and put on music. Next she would cut some cheese and place on crackers or put
out some small snack. Then the finale was painting her lips with the ruby red
lipstick I so well remember.

One day, I asked my mom, “Why do you do this every day and
go to so much trouble around this time.?”

She said, “I want your father to come home to a wonderful
environment—that home would always be the best place to be. You see, your daddy
is surrounded by beautiful secretaries every day, who are paid to meet his
needs. So, I want him to feel that it is even better to come home, because
someone he loves has given effort to meet his needs and to give him extra
reason to be faithful.”

My mom was also a lot of fun. One day, on my birthday, I
awakened to a pathway of pennies outside my door. I followed them through the
house and it led to a pile of birthday presents—even the smallest present from
the dollar store, was wrapped in fun paper. Also, on the breakfast table was a
cinnamon roll (the Pillsbury kind) and orange juice and a little card that
said, “Happy Birthday to my wonderful daughter.”

I don’t remember the presents I received that year, but I do
remember that my mom went to great lengths to create fun.

We did not read scripture often at our home, but we did go
to church regularly where my dad was an elder. I remember that there were 3
verses that were my mother’s favorites. I don’t even remember why I know them,
but she must have repeated them often enough for them to stick. “I can do all
things through Christ who gives me strength.” “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall
not want.” “If God is with me, who can be against me.”

My mom and dad were gifted at hospitality. We had people in
our home for meals every week if not several times a week. They also used to
have big dinner parties—for between 50 and 100 people. As children, we were
expected to help. We would help clean house, cook food, mow lawns and put out
flowers and candles and decorate the house. Then, we were expected to answer
the door, greet their friends by looking into their eyes and welcoming them. We
would also be given trays of food to take around offering people a treat or
drink of some kind. It was a part of our training—to make all of us comfortable
with talking to adults, serving people in our home and engaging in
conversation. It prepared us to be comfortable with paupers or kings. It also
gave me a heart for hospitality—it was second nature after all the years of
opening our home.

When I would come home from college, my mom would have notes
all over the house—at the front door, in the kitchen, on my bedroom door and on
my bed, “Welcome Home, Sally!” and “Yeah, Sally is home!” There would always be
some of my favorite food in the kitchen—homemade chocolate chip cookies, and
all sorts of other goodies. I always
felt loved and welcomed and couldn’t wait to get home.

My mother modeled to me that mothering and building a family
was hard work and it took place every day. But it shaped me in such a way, that
it prepared me to be responsive in my heart, when the Holy Spirit stirred, to
see motherhood as a calling—a Biblical design from the mind of God, for passing
on righteousness to every generation. My mother’s hard work prepared me to be
able to have a ministry to other moms because she was faithful with what she
knew to do. Her love and commitment and personality was such a wind of life to
my soul.

So on this Mother’s Day, I honor my sweet mom, Wanda Bone,
for serving the Lord by serving me, and my brothers! And she didn’t even know
she was setting me up for my life’s work.

Happy Mother’s Day, to all of you who work so diligently in
the big and small details in life.
Just as my mother, you are just as surely building a legacy of memories,
love and values in the hearts and minds of your children. You may not even know
what miracles are taking place in your home or how you are preparing your child
for a great purpose—but God will take the fish and loaves you offer to Him as
worship—and multiply your work into a miracle that will truly influence the
whole world as you send your wholehearted children into the world from your
laboratory of life. Grace and peace from our Lord Jesus to you!

PS Thanks to Mill Creek Ranch Resort for letting me use their internet to upload this article!:)

Filed Under: Family, Food, Holidays, Home, Homemaking, Hospitality, Marriage, Mothering, Our Family

Let there be love

December 12, 2008 by Sally 16 Comments

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sin.” I Peter 4:8

As I get older, I find I am more and more about giving grace and extending love than about my rules and ideals. Perhaps I see my sin nature more clearly and appreciate His love and forgiveness more. I fail and fall below my own standards so often and yet, he still loves me, answers my prayers, meets with me when I seek Him out and now I know that I can’t do without Him. When I was younger, I had more stamina to push toward standards and ideals and make goals and try, by my own strength, to accomplis so much. Now, my plate has never been fuller and my responsibilities are greater, but I know that without His divine intervention, my life would be in shambles.

I have been a part of trying to help a couple of different groups of women in different parts of the United States through a split. Both were groups that were formed on ideals and that existed for the benefit and help of women–both were Christian groups. Yet, because of differences and accusations, the groups split up. As I have reflected on this, the thought occurred that some day all of these women will stand face to face with Jesus–before His throne–in the presence of His holiness. When we are there, we, like all of the others recorded in scripture will be saying, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty.” All of the petty sins and selfishness that we held on to so tightly in this world will be an embarrassment. All the ways we gossiped or were critical or unforgiving or harsh will be a cause for shame in light of His amazing, sacrificial, humble love poured out sacrificially on our behalf.

As I have thought about what present I want to give Jesus this year for His birthday, I have thought that perhaps He would be pleased with love from my heart. But not just love for Him, but generous, spilling over, lavish love shown to all precious people he has brought into my life. I have resolved to love those who don’t especially love me. I want to send special notes of love to those I appreciate. I want to cover any tension in my family this Christmas with love and grace–for the sake of my great appreciation for His unconditional love.

God hates divorce because it is a breaking of the bonds of love promised by a husband and wife. Love is most precious when it is given freely to one who does not deserve it. Peter, who denied Jesus at the most important moment of history, knows of this love, because He received it from Christ. When He denied Jesus, he felt the shame, but Jesus came to him and restored him to fellowship and said, “Peter, you feel my sheep.” He validated his confidence in Peter, as worthy of being a shepherd of his people, even after Peter sinned. And so when Peter says, “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sin,” he says it from personal experience–Jesus’ love covered a multitude–a whole bunch- of his sin and shortcomings. It is impossible to exercise love and hold bitterness or a critical attitude at the same time–it will be one or the other.

Divorce is not just in marriage–it can be between a parent and a child; a friend and a friend, between siblings, in a church, in a women’s group. Divorce is the natural result of living by the flesh and living with an “eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” sort of mentality–you hurt me, you don’t deserve my love; you are wrong type of heart attitudes.

But love, unconditional love, that says, “No matter what, I am committed to you. I will love you. I will be loyal to you. I will accept you and I will be generous to you, not because you deserve it, but because I didn’t deserve it and Jesus still loved me. I will love you for His sake. I will love you because His spirit fills me and when I am obedient to Him, I must love.”

So, this Christmas, let us please Him. Let us forgive those who have wronged us. Let us put aside bitterness and malice and choose love. Let us cover over the flaws of those in our lives with His love, because it is the best gift we have to offer him. One of His last admonitions to his disciples was, “This is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this that a man lay down his life for his friend.”

Contention is natural. Love is supernatural. Is there a child who has offended you and been ungrateful? Love that child. Has your husband neglected you and been ungracious? Love that spouse. Have your parents rejected you or been petty? Love those parents. Has a friend been unfaithful or catty? Love that friend. Is there anyone in your heart from whom you are separated? Love that person. It is your opportunity to be healed, your opportunity to please Jesus. Love is a commitment that brings freedom, healing and joy.

And remember above all, that He loves you. Nothing can separate you from His love. (Romans 8 ) Jesus loves you and proved it by His humble, sacrificial love, shown even in washing the very feet of his disciples on the night he was going to be killed–always loving, always encouraging, always giving life. He loves you in the same humble, compassionate, encouraging way.

But beyond that, the last words of his High Priestly prayer shows us God’s intention for all of us, “I have made your name (God’s name) known and will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me, Oh God, may be in them (his disciples–in us) and I in them.” God, the Father, loves you with an everlasting love. We love Him because He first loved us! May His heart be pleased with our gift of love this year as we celebrate his birthday with grace, overwhelming joy and peace.

Filed Under: Friends, Marriage, Ministry, Relationships

Do not fear, for I am with you!

October 13, 2008 by Sally 17 Comments

In front of Wordsworth’s house

“You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from the remotest parts,
And said to you, “You are my servant, I have chosen you and not rejected you,
Do not fear for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
For I am the Lord you God who upholds your right hand, who says to you, Do not fear, I will help you.”
Isaiah 41: 9-10, 13

Hi, My friends,

I am back from my trip to England and had such a wonderful time of making memories with my girls. I didn’t take a computer or do anything except just dote on them. This is unusual for me as our ministry keeps us quite busy all the time. But I am especially thankful we had the opportunity to do this as life seems to swirling into changes so much with the bad economy that I may be grounded for a while.

As we were riding the subways, we noted the headlines on all of the newspapers–”France requests 300 billion dollar rescue fund for Europe.” “English Market falls 15%” “Land prices rushing downward.” so we knew that things continued to happen as we traveled. It made us all the more careful to enjoy each other and each moment.

As I have been praying about all of this trouble, I know from experience that my first reaction could be fear or panic. A close friend called and said her husband lost his job. Joel, our wonderful 22 year old, finally received a letter from the Berklee School of music, (which he had auditioned for last April–thanks for all of you who prayed for him) and to his great joy, he was accepted as a student. But now, we found out there will not be scholarships and there is question as to whether he will be able to get a student loan. (If any of you have an knowledge or ideas in these areas, I would appreciate it!) With 3 in college at this time, we wonder how it will all turn out. And then there are our conferences. Our whole staff and ministry depends on having women attend our mom’s conferences as we have to make pretty significant commitments to the hotels which could put us under as a ministry if we don’t reach our quotas. So, we have our own issues and so do so many of you. And so, after hearing from so many, I know there are countless ways to be affected by the economy failures.

Yet, in all generations, when human beings turn their heart away from God and do not build godly character and act with integrity, when foundations are corrupted to begin with and leaders are materialistic and grasping, there have always been chaotic consequences for nations and in regards to the history of the whole world. We have had a string of godless leaders and authorities who have authority to make decisions that will affect us. We could and probably should have all known that it was coming. Joy and I have been reading Rilla of Ingleside about World War I and it is so interesting to see the sequence of events from the beginning of the book where the heroine, Rilla, has a youthful, immature, carefree life and through the progression of the war, must grow up, accept difficulties and choose mature and responsible character in order to play her part in the War and in her family. It is a sweet story, reflective of difficult times and how it effects families.

As I was praying about all of this, I remembered one of the first times I felt “panic” about the difficult circumstances of my life. I was a young missionary living in Poland illegally and there had been lots of tension between the Polish workers and the Russians who controlled the country. People had begun to riot and rebel and the Russian tanks began to roll into Warsaw where we lived. Many of the streets were lined with soldiers and the threat of war was in the paper and on the news every day. My colleagues and I gathered around a small radio attempting to get the Voice of America which if we were careful to turn the knob just right, would bring us news from the free countries so that we could find out if war was immanent or not, as all we could get on our tv’s and radio was propaganda.

I remembered thinking, “What am I doing over here in a time of war? I am not sure if I am ready to die in this conflict just now.” We had been ministering in Hungry and touched the bullet holes in apartment buildings of people we had worked with where a similar revolt had caused the loss of hundreds of lives.

It was one of the first times, I remember coming across this passage in Isaiah. “You are my servant, do not fear for I am with you. Do not be anxious for I am your God. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I camped on that verse. I pondered it. I prayed it. I resolved that I would stand on it emotionally and spiritually. And the Lord was faithful and we came through the conflict with Him holding our hand.

There have been so many other times and seasons. Yet, I have a pattern of remembrance now. He has been faithful through all the seasons and hard times. Some of our best memories as a family were made during the hard times. It built our character. We learned not to depend as much on circumstances and things to bring security and happiness. Our children learned the value of work and prayer.

God is still with us. He still loves us. He will still be abundantly faithful. Yet, there is more. I think that women are especially designed and equipped by God to dig down deep and bring beauty, faith, peace and hope to nations. A woman is at her best when she is creating life from the richness of her soul. I think that Moms will be the true heroes who will be the lighters of light when shadows threaten to overtake. They weave peace and love in homes where burdens are weighing on the shoulders of our husbands. They sing songs of faith in the midst of life’s calamity. They can model a child-like faith and rest in God when they live in the Sabbath rest of His provision even when physical provision is scant.

I was talking with a friend who was experiencing a great deal of difficulty. Her 4th of 5 children was experiencing severe health issues that required travel to another state for consultation. Her mother was struggling with her Father’s new onset Alzheimer’s, and her husband had not been able to make payroll for his employees for his small company. I asked her how she was holding up. Her reply stuck with me. “I have realized that I am the determining factor in how we go through these trials. I am the anchor to keep our ship from drifting. I understand my role as a mom so clearly now–that how I walk with God and how I respond and how I choose to live will to a great degree determine everyone else’s ability to cope well. So, I am choosing to be strong.”

It was a beautiful picture of the role of a woman– a helpmeet, a civilizer, a life-giver, a lover, a teacher.

As the girls and I drove from Nashville home a couple of days ago, I decided to make some resolutions for this time. For me a resolution is a determined commitment as an act of my will to decide how I will behave and how I will obey the Lord. It doesn’t mean that my resolve won’t be tested, but it does give me a plan for how I will live and it helps me to address, ahead of time, those areas that could be problematic. It also helps me fight against Satan’s desire to tempt me to despair or to not believe in God’s goodness.

I resolved that I would not allow my heart or mind to go down the road of fear–that I would reject any thoughts of fear by choosing to worship and focus on God’s wonderful faithfulness and trustworthy character.

I resolved that I would be a strong pillar of faith for Clay in the midst of so much that he has to hold together. Not to whine or complain or falter unnecessarily in the midst of his hard work and his commitment to figure out how to keep supporting our family. He needs me to “smile at the future–because of who is in control of my future.”

I resolved that I would make this time a blessed time of great memories—warm soups, candlelight, great stories of other heroes in other times, cards of encouragement to friends who needed it; phone calls and phone prayers with my boys who need support and encouragement in the midst of their financial difficulties; email Bible studies and life-giving words to all who the Lord brings to mind; simple times spent in eternal areas that will minister to the hearts or my precious family and friends.

I resolved to think of new ways that Sarah and Joy and I may serve others in the midst of these days. As we plan to be God’s hands and voice and words, it gives us a way to be about God’s business and to perceive the strategic role Christians can play in the lives of others during this time.

By allowing God to define my vision for the trials ahead, I have a road-map to walk with to guide my steps, to guard my attitudes and to inform my decision of will–as I walk in the power of His Spirit and investing in the word and seeking to make time to pray, I have been energized and excited to know that I have something I can do to help. I have ways to give hope and opportunities to bring life. The Lord has renewed me in my heart and made me excited to start living according to some of my plans. I already know that these years will be my opportunity to show what my heart is really like–that I really do love and believe that God will hold my hand and show me His ways. That I have this day to invest in eternity by living it for Him.

May He grant each of you grace in the midst of it all. I will be praying for you.

I think that you sweet moms can also be the determining factor in our country, to bring courage to bear as we wait on God and follow His ways. Many blessings and lots of love coming from His heart to all of you sweet women!

Sally@wholeheart.org

Last year I studied the first part of Isaiah. The nation found themselves in the midst of chaos after a string of bad and ungodly kings and as a result were being humbled as they were attacked by Babylon. In Isaiah 40-45, I found very encouraging words which so underlined God’s presence, redemption, goodness, love, strength and so on. Maybe it will encourage you. The nougat is that we who wait on Him will be blessed.

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Family, Family Trips, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Marriage, Ministry, Mothering, Our Family, Ponderings, Prayer, Reading, Travel, Trust in God

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

September 29, 2008 by Sally 9 Comments

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both,
And be one traveler , long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
But as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted I would ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two rods diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Since the first year Clay and I were married, we tried each fall to go drive through the mountains to see the aspen when they changed to the golden and read and bronze. A mother is the god-ordained professor who is to open the soul and mind of her children to the truths reflected in God’s creation. God has provided ample evidence of His wisdom, power and beauty in each season.

Last weekend, Clay said that he thought we should take the time to go for one day to the mountains before we left to make time to see the beauty together. Though we were all busy, we are so very thankful for the way it filled our souls to marvel at His handy work and to reflect that each season has its own beauty and evidence of God’s intimate involvement.
On a side note, I memorized this poem many years ago and required each of my children to memorize it–”Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.” What a beautiful poem this is–and such a rich amount of wisdom to discuss and reflect with your children—choices have consequences, whatever decisions you make will determine much of the rest of your life–it is so important to let God’s word and truth direct your priorities and decisions. And I love the last line, “And I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

Clay and I took the homeschooling road when no one thought we should. We moved our family into ministry situations with us all over the world when no one thought we should. We raised support when certain family members thought we shouldn’t. We left a good job and security and insurance and went 5 years without a salary to start Whole Heart Ministries when it seemed crazy. We committed ourselves to idealistic discipleship grace-based parenting when others thought we would ruin our children. Obviously we have not lived a perfect life and have made mistakes along the way. However, we made our decisions by faith, based on convictions we found in scripture. Our desire was to please God, to build foundations that could not be shaken. God has been so faithful to us each step of the way–we took the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference.

Today, I celebrated the 93rd birthday of my oldest, sister type friend’s mom’s birthday. We had a chocolate party for her (brownies, cake, cookies, candy bars and mousse–it was her favorites) She has lived through two World Wars, the depression, breast cancer, the deaths of her husband and two of her three children. Yet, she has lived to see God’s faithfulness.

Today, the stock market also fell almost 800 points. We could all be tempted to panic. Yet, taking the risky roads less taken has taught me that God is trustworthy. He is in control, He will be faithful to us as we walk roads of faith. It is an important for us to teach our children to have the courage of their convictions to take the road less taken-the road of faith, the road of ideals. Life does not always turn out as we would expect it to, but God is always faithful. We all only have one life to live in which to live by faith in God, to trust in Him and rest in His peace when we are tempted to panic. We are given one life to live for His ideals and for His convictions. Then we will see Him face to face.

Let us be bold before His throne in this challenging time. Let us be of those who do not shrink back. Let us be of those whose hearts remain steadfast even in the midst of trials. God will be faithful to us. We will grow and be stretched and become less selfish and more mature and give our children a better model –if we stay faithful to his call upon our individual lives. He will call each of us to different ideals, but He will call us to step out in faith, in courage and in ministry. May His goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives and may we resist fear and live by faith until we see Him face to face. May God give each of you a special gift of His grace and peace in the midst of your trials. May He allow you to reflect on His beauty in creation as an example of His seasons and may each of you have a peaceful heart. Many blessings of His grace.

We are off to England tomorrow morning. Thanks so much for your well-wishes and prayers.
Blessings,
Sally
Sally@wholeheart.org

As Sarah recently wrote, “Hard realities–broken hearted facts are not ignored but face with grace. This rises up with a lifestyle of hard work and community that, while never denying grief, yet seeks to move through life with a fragile but real hope.”

Filed Under: Beauty, Friends, Marriage, Ministry, Ponderings, Trust in God

New York, New York!

August 24, 2008 by Sally 5 Comments

Good Sunday morning. I am awakening in Montreal this morning and getting ready to go to the airport where I will fly to NYCity to meet Clay and Nathan (who flew there on an overnight plane!) What a great group of women I met here and spent two days with–great hearts and great fellowship. But now I am on my way to the big apple.

I have mixed feelings about Nathan moving. Joy told me on the phone he was wrestling with our sweet golden retriever and hugging her a lot yesterday, so I know that it is Nate’s way of trying to get as much of home and as much of love into his heart as he can before he leaves! He is so ready to hit the world and to try his wings, but I will miss him–drums and all! Joel left Thursday for Nashville and we had the whole Clarkson gang in our ritual of sending someone off–the early in the morning goodbye with all of us in our pajamas out on the driveway, praying, kissing, hugging and waving. And now Nate. Joel is already busy with friends and loves being in his new little house with roomates. He even served at a private dinner party on Saturday night (last night) and earned 75 dollars, so he is off to a good start and feeling oh so good about life. (Mom, there is even a recliner in my room!–oh the good little things of life that bring joy!)

I will be in New York for 8 days. Please pray for us and for him as we settle him in. Pray God will give Nate a godly friend and that he will even be able to find a job and that God will give him favor with the agents and contacts he has. Pray that I will be a good mommy and send him off with grace! (Don’t know that in New York we can stand outside doing the Clarkson ritual!)

I am also going to spend 2 days with my sweet Clay–finally getting a little trip in to celebrate our 25th anniversary–a couple of years late! Life just hasn’t allowed it, but I am so excited to be with him alone for a couple of days celebrating our 27th! He has some surprises and I know one or two Broadway shows will be contained in this week, a nice dinner somewhere and lots of time to remember and ponder the years. (The last week we came to NYC to celebrate our twentieth was 9/11 so we are hoping to have a much calmer week!) The girls will be holding down the fort and having a glorious time alone with lots of plans of resting doing girl things.

I will probably not be writing this week, but somehow needed to know that I would have the prayers of friends coming my way during this week. Oh, the flurry of emotions, but God is good so I am in good hands and off to lug my bags to the airport one more time. Au revoir!

Filed Under: Family, Marriage, Our Family, Travel

Fussing Part II

August 15, 2008 by Sally 11 Comments

The other day, after we had a great breakfast on family day, we talked about the plans for the rest of the day, in case we needed to take 2 cars to the mountains because of schedule issues with my older kids. When it looked like Joel would have to take a separate car, two of the kids said, “It wouldn’t be as much of a tradition if we didn’t all cram together in the van—we wouldn’t have a chance to fuss about the music in the car on the way up!”

As with any other special day like our “family day” not all of our moments are perfect. The kids had always fussed about something in the car on the way up! Fussing or quarreling is a regular part of life. It is the source of all wars in the Bible, the Israelites complained when God was taking them to the promised land; David, the righteous had all sorts of contention in his home—his wives, officers, children and enemies. Even in the New Testament, Paul and Peter–two of the most revered leaders of the early Christian movement–argued and fussed.

All that to say, it is something all mothers deal with and will continue to deal with–but it is not a picture of your success or failure as a mom. I think if I had just accepted it as a part of life, I wouldn’t have gotten so upset about the regularity of it –as it does drive me crazy and by personality, I do not like conflict. But because it is a part of our sin nature, we have to recognize it as a symptom of our separation from God–but not something that your children intentionally do to drive you crazy! Really–they haven’t converged together to make you go insane.

I can say that my children have become so much more mature over the years. They have learned to be more patient and less selfish, to be peace-making, to be forgiving, to serve one another, to encourage and cheer each other on. Yet, there is still the tension of 6 sinful people with a variety of personalities living in our home and so we still have conflict from time to time–and yet we have learned how to resolve it. But getting better is a matter of training and practicing what is right until it becomes the standard that guides us in our relationships.

1. Training–Children need to be trained to love and to be mature. I often told my children that God said, “How good and how pleasant it is for brothers (and sisters!) to dwell together in unity.” Also, Jesus and John said that others would know we were Jesus’s disciples by our love for one another. And of course, we read I Corinthians 13 and talked about it over and over again. So, love and graciousness was the goal of our relationship training. Clay and I talked about our values as a family and he wrote a devotional to use with our children so that they would clearly understand our standards. (You can see The 24 Family Ways devotional at www.wholeheart.org)

2. Instruction A special part of training is education–instruction. So, we made our goals for our children’s behavior obvious by teaching then godly principles of relationships over and over and over again.In relationships, one of our 24 family ways was, “We treat one another with kindness, gentleness and respect.” So we repeated this value daily every day out-loud for a week. We would read scripture each day that correlated with that value. I helped the kids memorize verses in light of these goals. Some of our favorites were, “Love covers a multitude of sin.” “It is to a man’s honor to overlook a sin.”(encouraging my children to overlook the faults and offenses of their siblings. “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” (choosing to answer with a gentle voice instead of accusing or attacking–a choice of the will in obedience to the Lord.) “Where there are many words, conflict is unavoidable.” (Stop fighting before it gets bad.) “As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men.” “Do not let any unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only that which is good for the moment, that it may give grace to the hearer.” (What what you said kind? How should you have said it differently?) And so on.

3. Follow through and correction When my children would quarrel, I would say, “What is our 24 Family way about how we treat each other?” Then they would repeat what they had learned, and say our memory verse. I would then say, “How should you have said that differently to your brother? Do you need to ask forgiveness?” Sometimes I would make the child, (if they were old enough) write a paragraph or several paragraphs about a passage in the Bible about what it meant to show love or patience or what it meant to have a mature relationship.

So, it was a process day in and day out. Just like maturity in marriage–you have to learn to understand your spouse and accept his limitations and to give grace instead of retaliation. As it takes us a long time to exhibit unconditional love, so it takes our children practice and time to mature. They need the same kind of encouragement to succeed as we do to keep going in marriage. They need to know you love them and we need to notice when they are improving.

But so often, I see parents reacting to children and yelling at them when the child doesn’t even know what they did wrong. (Often showing off, being exhausted, overstimulated, hungry, hormonal, a boy! or in a new situation or 1000 other issues need to be considered, in other words we have to be perceptive psychologists! ) Telling the the goal of relationships through instruction and memory verses gives them a map to follow and pathway over which to move forward. (Children need to know what the standard is before they can obey it.) Second, training, training, training–Taking time to stop bad behavior and then making them redo the relationship in the right way–making them ask for forgiveness or use kinder words to communicate a request or do something nice for the other one (making a card or bringing a sibling a cup of hot chocolate and serving them if they had really been selfish, etc.) And almost always, praying together to bring about unity.

I think it is always important to take into account many factors. Personality for instance. Extroverts are going to be louder and more boisterous and should not be punished for being that way. Introverts can be whiny if they don’t have enough time alone. Toddlers are just immature and often just need sleep or to be separated and can’t be expected to be mature. (though they do need to be gently trained, for instance, grab their hands if they hit someone and say, “Hands must always be used for loving and gentleness–rubbing their hands gently on your cheek or arm–never, never for hitting!” Yelling at them will not help them to be more mature.)

Children who are adhd or who have autism or other such issues, must be treated with great patience and an awareness that they honestly cannot live like a normal person. I wish I had known this earlier as one of my children had issues beyond his control. I can see now that knowing that this whole process of training. loving disiciplining, and teaching is a long process–train up your child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. But now I see the results–children who are emotionally mature, who can show love and serve others and be patient. It is such important work. It takes many years and lots of forbearance–but it is what will help your children ultimately flourish in life—in work relationships, marriage, family, and friendship and in church. Relationship training will set one person way ahead of the rest.

However, mamas sometimes need a break or some time alone. Children are taxing at times and moms blow their stacks. But, rest, fun and a wet loving kiss from a sweet child can blow away the clouds in a second. Some days, we all just need a break–give yourself grace and relieve the tension by going out to a park or doing something fun–but don’t give up–a trained adult is such an evidence of a great mom. I have had many ups and downs over the years in this area and yet kept focusing on His love and forgiveness–asking my children for forgiveness when it was appropriate, taking the chance to love then lavishly and keeping going. As my son Joel once said to me, “Mom, just lighten up–it is just the life and adventure of being a family!”May God give you grace and give me grace to keep loving!

Off to make dinner!

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Child Training, Children, Family, Lifegiver, Marriage, Mothering, My Books, Our Family, Parenting, Traditions

Seize the Moment–it will never come again.

June 3, 2008 by Sally 11 Comments

Dear Moms,

I am so very happy to have finally reached summer! What a blessing to have fewer activities, longer days of sunshine, many more fresh fruits and veggies and more leisurely days with my family and friends! But summer also represents to me, a time to sow—a time to garden! I especially see this as a time to purposefully sow into my children’s souls and memories!

When I wrote the new version of Season’s of a Mother’s heart, I included a story about Nathan in the summer sections. Summer is that season where you have a window time to cultivate and sow seeds for a window of time, when the window is closed—just as the time to plant seeds and grow a garden closes, we cannot go back. The time has passed. I have observed this in many areas, many years.

The particular story about Nathan concerned his summer after he graduated from high school. By that time, Nate was already busy with work and friends and activities. So I knew that when he had free time for me to be with him, I wanted to make it special so that he would look forward to other such times. Seems to me that if I want to have an open heart to speak to, I have to invest the time to fill my children’s emotional cups, first–even if it means filling their stomach!

To make a long story short, (and you can read about it in the new book), I made time to take Nathan out for coffee and lunch and then took him to a beautiful spot in the mountains to pray with him and dedicate his adult life to the Lord. It was a very memorable moment and we had a lot of fun! And he even held my hand as we prayed together! When the time was over, Nate said, “Mom, I think my friends should hear what you told me today! Not all of them are committed to the Lord, but I know they would all love to eat! Why don’t you make them steak dinners, and fully loaded baked potatoes and homemade bread and a chocolate cake and then they will listen to any thing you say!

So, a week later, I invited his friends and had such a party and shared scripture with the boys and gave them a send-off speech, (I know that God can use you boys to change the world if you choose to follow Him speech.) These darling, funny, hunks of boys, all huddled up around me and asked me to pray for them. So I prayed my heart out in as cool a way as I could—and can just see them in my minds eye, even now, so wanting their lives to be special

Since then, a number of moms who have read that chapter, have asked me to post what I said to the boys on my blog or write it into a newsletter! The whole 30 minute speech would be too long, but I did decide to include the verses I used and just a few comments.
Here are the main verses I used.

1. Above all, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all, all the things you need to live your life will be added to you.” (Matt 6:33 Seeking first the kingdom comes with the understanding that we are only temporarily living in this world, but everything we do and choose in this world will have implications in heaven–where Jesus’ Kingdom will be lived for eternity. We have this time given to us to be faithful, bold, lifegiving, generous. Choose to see everything you do through the lense of eternity. Seek first, as you make decisions, to make them in light of His Kingdom and His righteousness and you will build and store treasures for all of eternity!

2. The most important thing God wants from you is to love Him. He doesn’t expect you to be perfect any more than Peter was perfect, but He can work with a man who serves Him from the depth of his heart.
“You shall love the Lord with all of your heart—your personality, passions, dreams, purpose—value Him above all others. Love Him in the way you speak to others, treat others. Love Him in and through all of your actions and then you will know what is acceptable and what is not moral or right to do! Love Him with all of your mind—let only those thoughts that honor him fill your mind. Fill your mind with His words, read great books, only watch those movies and engage in those areas of thinking that are worthy of His greatness.

Along with this verse, remember that God’s is looking for men of a faithful heart and He tells us that, “The eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” II Chronicles 16:9

3. Love your neighbor as yourself. God is a relational God and you are like Him when you choose to be loving, forgiving and gracious to people. When you love unconditionally, you are acting out God’s divine nature.

4. Remember that each of you has a personality, strengths, messages and skills that God has created you with uniquely. He also says in Ephesians 2:10, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” He has something for you to do in this world in your life-time that no one else can accomplish. Ask Him to show you what you have been designed to do, how you are to bring His light in the world, how you can be a redeemer to bring His truth, hope and beauty to all that you meet. When you follow Him where He has designed you to go, you will have His power, blessings and resources to complete it. Seek to do His work in His power and in submission to His will and you will be used by Him mightily.

5. In a world that is separated from God, you will encounter many battles and times of difficulty where your resolve to be committed to God will be tested. The one thing Satan would most love to accomplish is to have God’s redeemed quit believing in Him and His goodness or to fall into temptation and end in despair. First, write down your non-negotiables. What are the morals you will keep? What are the commitments you want to make? Write them on a slip of paper to keep in your wallet or in your cell phone. Review and read and pray over these often. If a soldier is going to go into battle, he needs to know that his enemy is out to get him. He must take precaution in order to win the battle.

Next, though, remember that God wants loyal children. Remember that believing in God, praying to Him, expecting Him to work is the secret to a life that will always have the grace to be resilient in any situation! Hebrews 11:1 and 6 informs us about faith—Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. A man who can hold fast, be patient, wait for God is indeed a man who God will use. “And without faith it is impossible to please God for He who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. When you trust in God’s resources, He will accomplish great things—kill giants, open pathways! Just keep believing!

This was the main part of what I shared with them–but I must stop now so the article won’t be too long! Just one more thought, though. When I make time to celebrate life with my children and honor them as my treasured friends, it lays a foundation in their hearts that is also open to my influence.

*************************************************************************

Such a time also happened with Joy this week. Last Monday marked Joy, who is my youngest, 13th birthday.Though we had been out of town for a conference in Florida for 5 days, we knew that it was a day to celebrate and acknowledge. Birthday breakfast and all that goes with it was lots of fun as well as a grill-out with friends that evening. But, every time our children turn 13, Clay and I feel we need to usher our children into young adulthood with our own personal time with them. A sweet friend of mine and her daughter went to an overnight at a hotel. (I had free points!) We treated the girls as lovely girls—a little package of lotion, a scrubbing mask, treats before dinner with candlelight, and chocolate cake and milk (all brought from home!) We shared dinner, shopping for a whole evening, swimming to top off the day.

The next day, we had a leisurely breakfast and then ended our time together with tea at a lovely café new to us. (It is in historic downtown Littleton, Colorado near Denver. Called Serendipi TEA Shoppe, and if you go there, please tell her you heard about her from us–a very sweet, lovely woman. ) We all donned hats and especially enjoyed the warm, crusty scones with clotted cream—delicious! The hours together provided time for great conversation, prayer and giggles. As the youngest, Joy has often had to compete with the older kids for attention. When we came home, she hugged me fast and said, “Mommy, you can’t even imagine how much fun it was to be with you all by yourself! I love you!

God bless you with “seize the moments”–moments all summer as you seek to sow seeds of righteousness in open hearts!

Sally

Sally@wholeheart.org

PS I cannot figure out how to answer comments as typepad is new to me! A sweet mom suggested that there are moms who think spiritual input should be left to the husbands. Look at Proverbs 8 and 9–Wisdom is always personified as a woman calling out to young men to live pure lives. Paul tells about Timothy’s mother and grandmother who taught him scripture. God used Esther to influence the King to protect the Jews. Proverbs 31 tells us that the teaching of wisdom is to be on the tongue of a godly woman. Clay married me because he loved my mission letters home. We have both felt that it takes both of us, all the time, whenever possible to breathe spiritual breath into the lives of our children. I am so privileged to be home during the daytime hours when all of my children’s friends are around. We have lots of people over for dinners at night when Clay can be there, but part of a woman’s strength is to pray and to civilize nations right from her home! May He bless your spiritual impact in and from your home!