I Take Joy | Family

Today, I will take the time to…….

November 12, 2010 by Sally 15 Comments

My precious little children, all grown up. Sarah, Nathan, Joy and Joel.

Today I have been bustling around town, treasure hunting for mouth-watering treats, rousing games, intriguing movies, and anything that I think would add to soul-deep memories of my family. The Clarksons are traipsing off to the mountains this weekend, Breckenridge to be exact. We associate this place with family, hilarity, hiking, outdoor jacuzzis under the stars in 25 degree weather and years of investing in these places and these traditions together, when all were younger and we were a whole family, all together. There is not much time these days to get everyone together, and so we make the time for each other, intentionally, especially in the midst of our busyness to say, “I need time alone with just family,” in the midst of all the other activities of this stage of life.

But this time, only the girls will be with Clay and me. I will miss my tall, young idealistic boys who are out to make their way in the world. As I have been driving to all the stores on my list, I was reflecting on what I would do if I had it to do over again–to make sure they all really heard and experienced the messages my heart, that wanted to imprint on theirs.

I would stop in the midst of my chores to listen to a boy-joke being shared and I would laugh out-loud and tell them they were so much fun.

I would stop unloading the groceries when my husband is talking to me and look deeply into his eyes and listen to what he is saying, communicating with my whole self, “You are such a treasure to me. I want to know what you are thinking and feeling and dreaming.”

I would take the moment to tossle a head as I am passing through a room and say, “I am so blessed to have you as my very own child. You make me so happy, just being you.”

I would stop what I am doing, to go outside to look at a “treasure” when I hear, “Hey, Mama, come look!”–an apple blossom blooming on our very first apple tree or a worm on the grass or whatever had capture their curiosity. I would camp more outside on our deck and cuddle up under the sleeping bags more often to marvel at the stars and the one who made them.

I would open my eyes to take a snapshot of today–just as it is–with boy noises, loud discussions, toys being played with intently, piano being practiced, thoughts being shared, messes coming and going..

Instead of giving advice when a child is opening their heart through tears, I would listen with a sorrowful, sympathetic heart and take seriously what they were feeling, instead of mentally planning that the clothes in the dryer need to be folded.

I would laugh more, worry less, lecture only on rare occasions, overlook messes instead of wasting my time being neurotic, notice the fingerprints of my maker in the moments of my days, and cherish those few years when we were all home, together, being the Clarksons and celebrating life.

So, this weekend, as we getaway in the mountains, I will engage my heart in storing up pictures of the precious ones still here. I will listen, love, wash dishes and mugs happily and live fully in the few moments remaining before this season flies quickly into another season, and I will never be able to live this day well again.

And I will email my boys and “I love you and miss you” note, to tell them how very much they mean to me, how I believe in them and in their futures–which do have a hope, and how blessed I am to have them as my very own sons.

Filed Under: Family, Home, Joyful Life, Our Family, Ponderings, Traditions

A Mission, A Mom Heart, and a Great Giveaway! Part 1

November 9, 2010 by Sally 6 Comments

Warsaw, Poland, 1979, Ala, now director’s wife of all of Campus Crusade Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Countries. Gosia, wife of director of Poland, and then all of Russia for many years, her sweet sister who is now with the Lord and me, who had the privilege to be a small part of training them.

“All authority has been given to me in heaven and in earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to observe all that I commanded you, and lo I am with you always.” Matthew 28:18-20

As a young woman, starving for love and purpose, when a stranger shared Christ with me, as a freshman in college, I knew that I had found my life purpose and my God. He flooded my heart HIs unconditional love that he offered to me as His child. I understood very early in my Christian life, that being a Christian and follower of Christ would require my whole life–not just Sundays, or Christmas or Easter–but all of me for all of my life.

Becoming a believer in the Lord Jesus, was a calling to His ways and His priorities, not just salvation to serve me when I died. And so I was taught at a very idealistic time in my life, my years as a college student, to love as Jesus loved (those God brought into my life), to see as Jesus saw (He looked out on the multitudes and had compassion on them) and to do as Jesus did–to go into the world to redeem those who didn’t know of His great love and redemption and purpose. I was “all in.”

After spending 2 years working with college students, I was asked to move to Eastern Europe when it was still Communist, to “Make Disciples.” And so for 3 years, I was a single missionary and worked in Austria, Romania, Hungary, Poland, Yugoslavia, and the Czech Republic. I eventually moved into Warsaw to help train our first two Eastern European staff women so that they could be involved in a movement to their own countries. (These women listed above.)

It was an amazing time of seeing God open doors to many who became Christians and began to have a profound impact on their countries for Christ. I learned that when a normal person comes to the Lord and says, “Here are my fish and loaves. Use me wherever you can,” amazing results will come about, beyond our own limited abilities. I was so very young and immature, but sincere and passionate. So meeting with students and sharing all that was on my heart, I saw God mold women into godly leaders, who eventually were used to influence the lives of thousands of other women in numerous foreign countries. His using the “small ones” to confound the darkness. And so this would become a paradigm when I learned to apply this principle of faith in the discipleship in my home.

My precious friend, Gwen, and I, in Krakow, Poland,in 1978, praying for disciples!

A PARADIGM SHIFT

Fast forward. After cutting my teeth on teaching and training adults in these countries for a total of 6 years, I got married to a spiritually excited man who was also committed to ministry. Our heart was always, “Lord, show us where you want us to go to share Christ, to teach the word, and to help believers mature in their faith and in their calling to bring your kingdom to reflect in their lives.”

Because, I (we) had been involved in missions, teaching and speaking and working with adults all over the world, I assumed the Lord would send us into a large international city, again to work with leadership development. But, long story short, the Lord told us there was a “people group” that was being neglected–a group so very important to Him.

CHILDREN

Scripture started sticking out to us as we prayed for God to bless us with children.”Children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127

“And He blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” Genesis 1

“And He said, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18: 3-5

When, upon returning to the United States, Clay and I lived in California, we saw this neglected group first hand–children. Slowly, the philosophy of the 60′s and 70′s sexual revolution and break down of families, abortion became an accepted choice, feminism and the independence of women and their need to have equal pay, left children somewhat as victims of many sweeping changes in our culture. Children were being aborted at an astounding rate, or given up to day care as infants, being pulled apart as divorce went up to 50%; dragged around from one set of partners to another in “free love” partnerships; eventually, 39% of all babies born would be to single mother families where a father was not even present. They were considered burdens, that took time and money, and yet their eternal worth and magnificent design were undermined and shoved to the side of mainstream life. People would never have voiced this as the intent of their hearts, but Christians were being swept in the current of a river of contemporary humanistic values along with the rest of the world.

It seemed to us that everyone else had someone to champion their cause: women, minorities, persecuted peoples, refugees–and yet children, the hope of the future, the very soul and life of the adults of the next generation–were being thrown aside to fend for themselves, unprotected and undervalued–even in Christian arenas. Of course Satan would love to devalue children, the very ones who were made in the image of God.

We knew instinctively in our hearts, that just as one would never expect seeds thrown into the wind to become a beautiful garden, so children thrown to the winds of a humanistic, self-centered, atheist, materialistic culture would not become healthy, growing human beings if they were tossed into the winds of culture, un-nurtured, unprotected and unguided.

A NEW KIND OF MINISTRY

God seemed to whisper into my ear, “I want you to leave “the ministry”–a fruitful, exciting, speaking and leadership ministry to adults and stay home to learn the foundational “ministry of motherhood.” The Lord clearly impressed Clay’s heart, “Build a ministry to train parents how to view their family as the most important ministry they would be held accountable for in heaven.”

This was the ministry arena in which He would direct us and where He wanted us to work.

It all happened very suddenly. At almost 31, holding in my arms, a miracle, crafted inside of me, a soul that would last for eternity, placed our hands as a stewardship, I was deeply transformed forever. Baby Sarah was fragile, dependent and would look to us to whisper into her heart and mind the secrets of the kingdom of God, to teach her true foundations about God, His design for her life, her place in the world.

Sarah now!

But we also understood, that we would be held responsible for the education of her mind by exposing her to the best thinkers in the world; to give her emotional health and a clear understanding of how to be a godly friend by showing her the loyal, healthy love of marriage and family; and to train her to the strategic roles of wife, mother; to train her character to allow her to have integrity and a work ethic and experience at ministry first hand. —

Any great work always requires great sacrifice and a commitment of time and attention. And so such an investment would be required to give our little child the best we could give, to prepare her to be strong in her world for Christ–that she could also be one who would preserve righteousness in her lifetime. And so it became our foundation for the next three precious ones that God placed into our lives and home–a new kind of call to disciple and build world leaders who would invest their lives for God’s kingdom–Family Discipleship.

The Holy Spirit revealed to me that my service of worship to God, was to stay at home and build disciples and leaders for the next generation in my very own home. And to learn the ways of His wisdom and to practice integrity so that in His time, it would become a message of my heart and one that He gave me from His heart.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!

Filed Under: Child Training, Family, Home, Ministry, Mothering

What a grumpy 2 year old, a hormonal teen and an overwrought mom have in common

November 8, 2010 by Sally 17 Comments

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” Colossians 3:12-14

Committed motherhood is for me a holy calling of God. I believe that I am a steward of my children given by Him to me, entrusting me to love, instruct them, train them, provide for them in such a way, that they may go into their adult lives emotionally healthy, loving God and serving His Kingdom purposes.

But there are times when, seemingly out of the clear blue sky, I spew all over my children and it isn’t a pretty sight. The life-venom of giving, serving, cleaning, cooking, correcting, staying up late, putting up with messes, consumes my patient feelings and slowly depletes my rational, mature brain cells, builds up slowly inside and suddenly takes over and spills anger over to everyone in my wake. I always feel terrible when I have raged about. Chastising myself for hours, I curl up in a dark cloud and wonder why I even try.

I do not need a lecture from someone telling me I have been immature, out of control, unreasonable and unloving. I already know that. No one needs to tell me I have acted in an immature way and that my words hurt the hearts of those I love.

But, what I long for, is gentleness, patience–someone to tenderly place their arms around my shoulders, to look into my eyes with the compassion of understanding how I feel, words of “Grace, sweet one, you are forgiven. All will be well,” is what I really need.

Longing for a magical wand that can wipe away the moments when I irrationally became a fount of harshness and anger is what I really wish I had–to make it all go away.

Wishing for another mom who says, “You are not alone, I am guilty of raging in the tempests of my own life, and yet, when I went to my children and asked for forgiveness, they were ready to extend their love to me and to redeem our relationship once more.”

And then I need a maid, a waitress and a day away to be an adult again, but that is not in the budget of my minutes and days. Instead, I will be comforted with…

Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, as Paul so eloquently wrote.

And so, I have observed my little toddlers, exhausted, over-stimulated, wrapped in a cloud of selfishness, who fall apart in fits of screaming. I am not talking about the normal minutes of the days when they need training, correction and guidance. I am speaking of those absolutely beyond rational thinking–meltdowns.

A warm, blanky embrace, wrapped in arms of love and a softly sung, whispered words of love, a rocking chair moment of grace, a cool, soothing sip of juice–this is what is deeply longed for and needful to a heart out of control.

And then there are the moments in the lives of my teens when they seem to erupt, attitudes all over everything normal–”Everyone eats too much in this house! If they didn’t eat so much, we wouldn’t have such a mess of dishes in the sink,”–as they slam around the kitchen. Or just an emotional eruption with unkind words, glances that could kill, dark clouds that seem to hover.

I have found that “a gentle answer turns away wrath.” Like me, these precious children do not need to be told that they are being mean-spirited and unkind. They already know that. Perhaps, like me, the trials of life, the challenges, the burdens of school and chores, the insecurities of trying to fit in with an ocean of other teens seeking to find their footing, seeking an unsure future, and the raging of new hormones–all of these overcame them and they also spewed.

This is a time when, “I love you, appreciate you, understand. You are acceptable, I believe in you. You are not all “bad” but you had a bad day. I am so glad you are mine,” words of kindness and compassion are needed.

At times like these, putting on a heart of love, will bring us back to a perfect bond of unity. Love will heal, love is the answer and the balm and the grace to keep going. Love through a mug of hot chocolate or tea, a written note of “I am so glad you are mine. I love you.” A moment to laugh, love, share tears and restore–these are the deepening moments of bonding forever to hearts that bear the compassion of Christ.

These are the moments when true hearts are knit together–Oh to be known, truly known, in all of our limitations, and to still be loved–that is soul satisfaction.

Love is patient, love is kind, love is not selfish,…………………..

Filed Under: Child Training, Family, Mothering, Parenting, Relationships

A bag of tricks

November 2, 2010 by Sally 11 Comments

I was sitting behind a young mom at church the other day who was holding a large 2 1/2 year old in her lap for an hour and a half. The little girl in her lap seemed sweet natured but wiggly, giggly, active and talkative–in a normal tone of voice. I admired the mom holding her, but know that she was worn out after the service.

When my children were various ages, we often found ourselves in places–not just church, where they needed to be quiet or sit still–in the car when I was talking to friends, at doctor’s offices and church and concerts and restaurants. I found that if I prepared them ahead of time and told them what to expect and how long it would take it helped them immensely to be able to be quieter.

I wanted them to learn that church was a holy place–where out of honor to God, we would use a quiet voice, very gentle actions and that they were such “big” girls and “boys” for being able to sit still to show God honor. Training, training, training all the time before they were in a place where I had expectations of them.

I also traveled with a bag of tricks, to so speak, that was never used for any other occasion. Depending on the age of the child, there would be a boxed juice and little container of cheerios or gold fish or small fruit leather–only to be used at the later part of their patience. Colored pencils when they were older, puzzle books, I spy books, finger toys for babies, as well as soft blankies to comfort. Joel was my car man and he loved, loved drawing and or just holding toy cars. He drew a million jeeps in his growing up years. I had a sketch pad for each one. All were quiet toys to be used when they needed to be quiet or sit still. The food and drink were only used in appropriate places and appropriate times. But I always kept this bag loaded in the car and looked at the dollar store for new stickers or little quiet things to add so there would always be something new.

At Christmas, Clay once ordered each of the kids a Land’s end travel bag with their name on it–in different colors for each child. The he spent a couple of months filling each bag with paper airplane books, books on tape with a small cd player, challenges, mysteries, little toys, coloring books and quiz books and all sorts of treasures.

We kept each child’s brief case in the car and it gave them hours and hours of pleasure over the years when we were on trips and when they were waiting on us. We never used dvds in the car as we didn’t want media to become a habit when there were so many creative things to do. When the family culture is to listen to long books on tape in the car, all learn to improve their listening skills and it feeds their brains with great literature and exciting stories. You can accomplish a lot when you keep books on tape or other creative entertainment for the cd player. Teaching children to listen is all a part of shaping their appetites. If they are used to too much tv or movie entertainment, they will complain when they have to listen to a book or draw or stare out the window and imagine life. It is the moms and dads who build the habits for their children. All kids can learn to give up media if they are provided alternatives and if you hold to your decision. Never in the history of mankind did children have movies in the car till now.

I do not want to create guilt for anyone. We are all free to make the best decisions for our family. ( a strategic Winnie the Pooh saved us through many ear infections at home), In the car, there are so many things to see that offer food for thought and creativity and it is a great place to disciple your children with great conversation and great music. Especially during the junior high and high school ages. We reserve the right to say all ipods off when we want to talk or listen to something as a family. Because it is an expectation, our kids never questioned it.

It also taught our children that there were places to be quiet and to sit still and exercise self-control. We had lots of fun and to this day, they all travel with fun stuff to use on long trips and places where they will have to wait. (on the plane or a long car trip, my older children all download books on tape on their ipods, bring books, journals to write in and snacks.) Fun to see the habit stuck in their own adult lives.

Touch and back scratching can soothe a child that is ready to blow. My mom also taught me a trick when I was a little girl–she would take one of my hands and pull slowly on each finger until she had covered all ten and then she might do it again if needed.

The happiest children are those who are kept engaged by planning on the part of the parent and it trains children to learn to entertain themselves and to listen.

Filed Under: Child Training, Children, Education, Family, Joyful Life, Mothering, Our Family, Parenting

Becoming a Generous Provider and reflecting His very nature to our children

November 1, 2010 by Sally 8 Comments

Spinach, mushroom, swiss cheese quiche; Whole Wheat Rolls, Whole Wheat Oatmeal Bread and Twisted Oatmeal Bread with Cinnamon Sugar filling; Pumpkin Cranberry Walnut Bread–yummm! A physical provision for delight and health and meal time celebration.

The Clarkson family is very distinct in our family culture. We have spent so many hours in each other’s company, that people have actually been able to tell that one of us is a “Clarkson” just by spending time with us when we are miles away from each other and meet someone in a grocery store.

We tend to have a similar vocabulary and world view of life. We have the same general manner of relating to people because we have spent hours and hours training our children in relationship to other people. And, not surprising, our messages are similar, we like the same books and movies and tea and pizza and and and. You see, we have become like the people we loved and invested the most time with over the years.

As I have pondered this, it is similar in relationship to God. I have realized that the more time I spend in the presence of God, the more I will take on His voice, demeanor, His words, His likeness. What I sow I will reap. But as I have been sharing this message in the past few months, many have said, “I really want to love God and be like Him, but I don’t know exactly what that means or really how to do it.”

Knowing God is of the greatest spiritual value–to Him.

Jeremiah 9:23-24: “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, let not a mighty man boast of His might, let not a rich man boast of His riches, but let him who boasts, boast of this: that I am the God who exercises lovingkindness and righteousness on the earth.”

Our God is relational and wants us to be the closest of companions to Him–to make many memories with Him, to know all about His story, to understand just who He is and what He is like. But so many have been come to understand God through laws, fear, performance and works, that the personal-ness of Him is lost.

Consequently, one of the new books I am writing is about God’s roles in scripture, to seek to make Him more real to me and others as they see Him in relationship to us. When we observe what God is like, it gives us a picture of His heart. I am gleaning so much out of this study as I work on it a wee bit every day. With personal knowledge of God, comes a legacy of faith and strong foundations. We become so familiar with His faithfulness, it gives us a firm basis on which to stand in the future course of our lives.

Now, let me divert just a little. It is God’s will that we reflect Him to our children–but we cannot reflect what we do not know. However, if we seek Him, seeking will provide knowledge, familiarity, history, love and worship. Then the showing of Him to our children comes from a life of being with Him, as my children were with Clay and me and reflect us. They are really the book of our lives that people are reading.

If we are filled with the Holy Spirit and He resides in us, it has been on my mind that, if we yield to Him in the moments of our days, then our children, husband and friends will actually feel they have been in the presence of God when they have spent time with us, because we are residing in His presence moment by moment. When we walk with Him and yield our attitudes, our words, our actions, our service, then we will actually be the hands, voice and message of God, incarnate in us. What an amazing thought.

However, I do allow for it to be a process. As we mature and obey the Lord each day–when we respond to His nudging; when we pray about and apply a scripture that convicts us, each day, we are being conformed to the likeness of Christ and those in our arena will experience this more as we mature more.

So, the first role of God I have tackled, is God as a Provider.

PROVIDE means: to make available, to furnish; to supply or equip; to prepare of procure beforehand

Studying this aspect has really opened my eyes to Him in new ways. God created us to have needs so that he could provide for those needs. God made us to need food, rest, protection, purpose, love. He also gave us a body that could grow strong through exercise. A mind that would grow intelligent through use. Gifts and strengths that can only be present when used and trained.

And, God wanted us to look to Him to provide those needs. Even as I take joy in planning for my children to feel loved on their birthday and focus our traditions on building the birthday child up, I receive great pleasure when the child is blessed and responds to my preparations. So, God delights in us coming to Him and in having us see His provision and respond.

He even has provided us things just to delight us–color–the reds, golds, of fall leaves; the dark steel blue of an ocean; the bright gold of an iris, the dark green or blue or amber of eyes. He provided Adam and Eve with food–plants, fruit, vegetables, seeds, meat, fish, poultry, seasonings, all sorts of tastes. He provided them with a garden of grand design to live in. He provided them with clothing after they fell away from Him. The pillar of fire and clouds and manna. Jesus provided the crowds with fish and loaves because they were hungry. He is going to prepare a place for us–a mansion, a home in heaven, for us to live in with Him in eternity.

To understand God, means we must recognize Him as a provider.

For our children to better understand God, they will learn how to recognize Him as a provider as we provide for them–as we provide a haven for a home; comfort during illness, food for feasting and celebrating life; music for dancing and singing. And so, these tasks we have in our homes are not meaningless, but filled with His very presence when we understand that in providing needs and desires, we are acting in the image of God, and our children will read of Him and understand.

In what ways can you be a provider for your family this week. How can you provide beauty or love or comfort in the next 24 hours?

If God wants to be a generous provider to His children, what might He want you to ask Him for–that He may show you His provision? May you know and have eyes to see His provision today–even in a sunset, the stars, a gentle touch.

How can we actually grow in this likeness, though, without spending time with Him, learning to know what He is really like.

PS I know that I should give out recipes and I will do a youtube on my bread making–I promise, someday–just too much to get to everything!

Filed Under: Beauty, Family, Food, Homemaking, Nature, Our Family, Parenting

Crafting a life plan with intentionality

October 28, 2010 by Sally 19 Comments

Dennis Miller Bunker, Roadside Cottage, 1889

“The wise woman builds her house, the foolish one with her own hands tears it down.” Proverbs 14: 1

When building a house, one can build a tiny cabin or a small apartment all the way up to a large estate. I have often said to women, the building of your home–your family, legacy, children, depends on how large your vision is. The greater the vision, the bigger the task and foundation laid, and the more prominent the house. We can build a legacy as big as a condo or as far reaching as an estate–it just depends on our vision of what God wants us to do and our dependence on Him to accomplish exceedingly above and beyond what we could ask or think.

Motherhood provides us with an opportunity to build in such a way as to influence generations–literally thousands–by the life we choose to live. But, building such a legacy comes with planning. An architect planning to build must prepare his blueprints. And so it is with women. Designing a blueprint for living will insure that I am better able to know what I am building; what the cost will be; what is needed; and how long it will take to build such a home.

My daughter was talking to me the other day and said, “Mom, I don’t know if most women have given themselves totally to motherhood, understanding that it will take their all–their time, body, life, moments, rights–everything, to really build a godly legacy. It seems they think their children are “taking up their time” without really realizing that God gave them children in order to provide them with an eternal work to do–that it is their best way to influence eternity, that it is the most strategic work of their lives and will outlive them.”

(It is so wonderful to be at this point where I can see that these Biblical ideals and messages have gone deep into the souls of my adult children who, I hope, will have the privilege to build a godly generation in their life times.–But even this is as a result of planning what messages I wanted them to understand and know and see in our home.)

But one more part of planning that is essential to our souls–that of stepping out in faith. God wants us to attempt God-sized lives–to trust Him to do far more through our lives and our children’s lives than we could ever do on our own. We give Him our very best, our fish and loaves, but then we trust Him to do a miracle, to use us as He did David, to come to our lives in the name of the Lord of Hosts and to expect Him to work in and through us because of His greatness.

I love this quotation by Teddy Roosevelt:

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits, who neither enjoy much, nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory or defeat.”

And so in the spirit of living in and through Him and for Him, I begin to make my plan.

Sometimes I plan for 6 months or an overall yearly plan.

Today, I felt impressed because of seasonal movements in our lives (about to be finished with my last child in home education), to really say, “How does God want me to invest my life for His kingdom in the next season and years of my life? What is my stewardship? What is on His heart for me to do?

I begin by prayer, and today was a day when I was doing more of a long term planning. “Lord, in the power of your Holy Spirit, fill my mind with your thoughts, your plans, your work. What do you want me to dream and accomplish in the next 10 years during this season of life? What goals do you want me to make for:

My Marriage and family

My Children–individually and as a unit

My Local Ministry–Bible studies to teach; leaders to train, church involvement

What books do you want me to write? What projects do you want me to plan? What training do you want me to provide? What specific ways, in your Spirit’s power, do you want me to leave a legacy of my life for all that you have taught me, messages you have given to me, and how can I train others with these messages so that they will live beyond me?

Reviewing my vision and writing out a vision and purpose statement often helps me to revisit my goals, ideals and practical application. Because I have been making plans for my life, as a result of building convictions about kingdom principles, for many years, I am familiar with where to go and what to plan. Clay and I have spent literally hundreds of hours in prayer and discussions over the years about how we want to be intentional about leaving a Biblical legacy and preserving righteous knowledge in our generation, so reviewing and seeking God in these areas is very familiar.

Now, my journal is full of ideas and I am excited about the possibilities ahead. Each season has its limitations and will require a different cost. But making a plan will mean that I will have direction and truth through which to monitor my decisions–the things I can commit to, the things that just do not fit.

I have come out with exciting plans, wonderful projects to captivate my imagination, and ideas of how to continue working in my family and with other women.

This planning is not a “telling God what I want to do.” But more of a, “What is your priority for me, Lord? What work have you given me to do? How can I best promote and teach about your kingdom and what do I need to change in my life in order to align myself more with your plans for me?

Having a plan provides direction for every step that I will take–it gives me a direction to follow. These are the thoughts on my mind today. Off I go to dream and pray some more, and then on with the duties of my life, Joy’s drama group, dinner, dishes,……

For helping to make a plan for motherhood, read: Mission of Motherhood

Filed Under: Family, Home, Joyful Life, Mothering, Parenting

Social Media is like a fickle boyfriend……..

October 26, 2010 by Sally 20 Comments

Eponine-A-Rose-in-Misery

“He slept a summer by my side, He filled my days with endless wonder,

He took my childhood in his stride, but he was gone when autumn came.”

“I Dreamed a Dream” From Les Miserable (Fantene)

Passionately singing this song, above the resounding notes of Sarah’s piano playing, the three girls in our family find this song hauntingly beautiful. The image of a young girl, innocently convincing herself that she is deeply in love, giving her whole being to one who is there to consume her. When with child at the end of the summer, Eponine, the young girl, is left with scars, a pregnancy, responsibilities; her so-called lover is no where to be found.

I meet so many precious young women who gave themselves so such men. Women, longing for love, acceptance, purpose, a place to belong and to be validated, gave their souls to one who could never be a source of long-term love, strength or goodness.

I see that social media could be this kind of boyfriend–here to entice you today, but gone tomorrow, where you are left to clean up a life with scars, loneliness and rejection or just silence, the feeling of being invisible.

Now social media has its place–we can write articles of encouragement to be read by others all over the world. We can connect with old friends and meet like-minded friends on the internet. We can show pictures of our children, birthdays, holidays. There are many amazing revelations through the internet.

But there is a possible down side to this is “just virtual” relationship. I do not deny that social media and the web can fill some very important needs in our lives and can give us information at a moment’s notice. But throughout history, life was never meant to be lived this way. God designed us to live in such a way as to leisurely be able to observe His handiwork, to breathe in creation with all of its color and variation. We were to to see His beauty in the seasons, a rainbow, to feel the course of nature.

Relationships were to be slowly simmering through seasons of shared time, work, love, seasons and years, with a knowledge that people would be in our lives endlessly through our whole lives without ever moving to another location.

God intended that we have time to sit and ponder mysteries of the universe, to have to work out our thoughts, to have time to work and read and create food and gardens and the works of our hands. He longed for us to seek Him, His presence, His relationship to us as God and savior, to fill in our hearts’ needs.

God intended that we have real lovers, loyal, present friends, who would be here for us to celebrate life’s daily moments and the tragedies and momentous occasions.

However, contemporary culture has forgotten these realities.

Perhaps, on the internet, we build up a couple of thousand of friends–that does not mean they know us, our real lives, our silent aches of heart, our loneliness, our dreams, insecurities, needs or doubts, or love us. Often it just means, they, too, are trying to build their list. Our social networking friends cannot bring us a hot, delicious meal or a fall bouquet of blooming flowers when we are sick or depressed or just need to know we are on someone’s mind.

Our social media friends cannot hold our hand or give us a gentle embrace, when we pray through a heartbreak or sit and drink a real cup of tea on the porch as we watch a fall sun melt into the sky, and share secrets. Our social media friends are not here to touch, see, experience, giggle, to validate the memories of real life.

Our children also long for us to see them as the important ones–they long for our words of love and laughter at their jokes and engaging in their hearts and attention. Our children are only with us for a window of time, to receive our attention, loving touch, tasty meals, to celebrate life as we pour into their souls. If we are looking to the internet for our relationships, our children will look for love and attention wherever else they can find it–away from us.

We are their first choice, but they will settle for others if their needs are not met at home with our intentional and present attention.

Suppose, we get lots of comments on our blogs today, or an increasing number of visits. The pressure is on to try to keep that going tomorrow. If we feel good when people respond, must we feel bad about ourselves if they don’t leave a comment? If we are one of the most popular blogs or web sites today, eventually there will be a “cuter girl on the block”, where people will search for something more, something new, leaving us longing for the same affirmation and love we sought in the beginning.

I think that many young women become addicted to social media and neglect their families and children out of a God given desire to be loved, to have friends who care, to feel a sense of importance–to push away the feeling that we are invisible in this world of ours. The desire to be loved and known and validated is God-given. Yet, He intended for us to have real community where we are loved and have a place to fit with family–cousins, grandparents, parents, siblings. For thousands of years, neighbors were to be those who knew you your whole life, who were there for you in the tragedies and celebrations of life. Purpose and meaning came out of relating and giving of ourselves to a community of people called to live, serve and validate the meaning of life together, to preserve righteousness in the presence of our children as a common group of people who loved and served God together.

Now, we live in an isolationist culture where we move from place to place, seldom knowing our neighbors; go to mega-churches where it is possible to be personally, intimately unknown in our inner-life needs or desires. Often grandparents and siblings have different values, live half-way around the world, or are of no support at all–many who have been separated from us through divorce.

So, we seek to replace that which God intended to be real and present, with something–anything–that can help us to “feel” connected, loved, validated.

So, social media can spend a summer by our side, but might be gone when autumn comes. A fickle boyfriend–here today, gone tomorrow. Just a thought for today.

Filed Under: Family, Friends, Joyful Life, People, Relationships

The best moments of my week

October 25, 2010 by Sally 12 Comments

Joy and me at a photo shoot for 25 new photographers who needed subjects to ”practice on” at Garden of the Gods, two weeks ago.(She is my pajama’d friend of the story below.)

The best of best moments.

It wasn’t going to a Broadway play in New York City–though that was amazing. It wasn’t seeing the Statue of Liberty up close, or Time Square and real NY Cheesecake. It wasn’t the train rides, visiting with lovely, thoughtful women in the homes where we stayed, though the time shared and dreams and ideals expressed, was of the sweetest kind of soul-sharing.

It wasn’t even the stimulating fellowship at the poignant Relevant Blogging conference, where I interacted with and engaged with 200 gifted, sweet, encouraging writers. Also, an encounter I will long remember.

But two moments pressed into my memories.

Late Sunday night, Comfy, squishy, black cotton pj’s adorned my weary body as I plumped two pillows from my bed. Patting them, I gestured to my amber-eyed, tossled haired, barely distinguishable freckled, 15 year old to lay down on my pillowed lap. Clothed in her own warm flannels, she squished up on the couch, draping her legs over the end. Her warm body helped disperse the chill of our first cold night.

Sharing profound soul-thoughts, laughing at stories from the days of the week, tearing up over the needs of friends, planning life together, she only wanted me to be her friend, companion of these quiet moments, one who listens and hears beyond the words,–she wanted me only to be her mother. I tenderly stroked her hair out of her eyes, and caressed the sweet face so close to mine. What a gift that God chose me to be her mother–the one who had the unique calling to breathe life and beauty and hope and inspiration into her soul. That He would choose me for her, a gift beyond understanding.

What comfort came to me–the one who does not like the spotlight or to be the center of attention. Me, inside feeling fragile in crowds of women, inferior in my own eyes, not knowing what to share, but learning to press through what God has put on my plate to do.

Never feeling that I quite fit in–but here, in the quiet of a Sunday night, I fit in as my true self was known, and fully embraced in the sweet lingering moments of sleepy late night.

The second moment, pattering out of bed in the semi-darkness of 6 a.m. sun rising light, I reach for the empty kettle. Gathering mug and cup, I “put on the tea” and settled into mommy arm chair and he into his leather, manly one, “50 year old birthday present” from 9 years ago. Together, we shared in the sweet, quiet moments together of life, dreams, work, a thumb injury, the phone calls and issues of our very own children, the sharing of what it feels like to get old together when surrounded by so many young, talented people.

Thirty precious years of this early morning reverie. But this moment, made new again by his presence and listening ears. This, the secure comfort with my stable, strong, always “there for me” husband, no performance–all sins known from long ago, known and souls laid bare. This “knowing and still loving” comfort, built over 30 years of the life we have struggled through and celebrated together. This my second moment of grace that soothed my soul and spoke to me, “Ah, it is good to be truly home.”

Filed Under: Family, Home, Our Family, Ponderings, Uncategorized

Getting back in the saddle!

October 25, 2010 by Sally 4 Comments

Welcome to my newly moved over site! (itakejoy.com) I am just beginning to fill out this blog, but am excited for the possibilities of having some new ways to be creative with my blog.

For those of you new to itakejoy, I have been on a wonderful history trip with 2 moms and 4 kids to Philadelphia, Boston, New York and ending up at a great blogging conference in Harrisburg, Pa. Great, great days!

However, it will take me a few days just to get back to my center in this home where I live. My sweet husband and children are my priority and so I want to provide for them as I get back in the saddle of life at home! Several weeks of traveling have fed my soul with beautiful memories, roused my mind with challenging and inspiring conversations, and invigorated my passion to keep writing and reaching out to so many women who long for a personal touch, voice of life and encouragement.

We are gearing up for the mom’s conferences, will be doing some new online book studies, giving some books and conference registrations away, so stay tuned and I will be back with lots that is bubbling up in my heart. For now, an omelette and tea with Joy are on my immediate agenda.

But, alas, my suitcase awaits, the refrigerator is empty and Joy and I need to get to the business of making this last year of her education at home the best one yet. So, I will post soon.

Peace and grace today!

Filed Under: Conferences, Education, Family, Family Trips, Home, Homemaking, Joyful Life, Mothering, Our Family, Travel

This and That–Australia, Relevant and life!

October 11, 2010 by Sally 10 Comments

I get to see my wonderful son,Joel, composer, and such a cherished friend, and studies in Boston! Can’t wait to squeeze his neck and plaster him with a mama kiss.

I do think this is the busiest time of my whole life–and I have said that many times. But, it really seems to be a new kind of busy—many wonderful ministry opportunities, finishing Joy’s last year well, and spending hours on the phone with my three oldest–still training, loving, advising, praying and keeping up, and searching for time with Clay alone, and my sweet groups of moms here and writing–and of course eating and drinking tea every day–and I just can’t seem to get on top of it all. I especially feel badly that I am not writing some of you wonderful friends back–my email boxes are full. Please forgive me if I do not write back–it is not because I don’t care about you, but I am just trying to ride the waves of this season and keep centered on the Lord and my family and somehow my correspondence seems to keep building and building. But I do read my comments and emails and you all keep me going-and I pray for most everyone who writes to me. So please forgive me, pray for me and know that I so appreciate every letter and comment I get!

History Trip

Oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy! Going on a fun history trip with my sweet friends and Joy–less than 24 hours to pack and get my ducks in a row! It is a tradition with all of my kids to go on adventures to see the places of people we have studied. Last year we went to Sweden (really Kansas!) and this year to Boston, Philly and New York–Broadway play, statue of liberty, Louisa May Alcott’s Home, Freedom trail, tea at the Boston Library with my dear Joel, Minute Man museum, Liberty Bell and Ben Franklin’s house and such, Valley Forge, museums, and lots of fun and playing and of course seeing all of you who have written where we will be speaking for one night in Philly, Boston and New York City. Please pray we all stay well and healthy.

Australia

A sweet friend, Barb Somervaille, in Australia, wants Joy and me to come to do a Mom’s conference and a Mom Heart Leadership Training in Australia in June. We are praying about this and hoping something works out. What she wants to know is if there are other moms interested in this who would help her get the word out, come to the conference and or want to be trained in how to start a group. You can email her to tell her of your interest.

Relevant Conference

I am so excited to attend the Relevant Blogging conference in a couple of weeks. I love Sarah Mae and have so much to learn from the wonderful women who will attend. If you are a regular follower of my blog and you are attending, I would love to hear from you! Be sure to stop me when we are there!

I feel so very blessed to walk with God during these days. May His grace and love be real to you today! Please keep the letters coming–they keep me writing. You are all so very dear to me and make me feel like I have kindred spirits all around.

Filed Under: Conferences, Family Trips, Our Family