I Take Joy | Traditions

Playing the part of provider to bring life and beauty!

November 16, 2012 by Sally 11 Comments

Wisdom has built her house, She has hewn out her seven pillars,
She has prepared her food, she has mixed her wine,
She has set her table, …,
“Come eat of my food. And drink of my wine I have mixed.
For sake your folly and live,
And proceed in the way of understanding.” Proverbs 9:1-6

I am getting mommy excited about next Tuesday. My youngest, precious one, Joy, will come home from her first semester at college. She has sustained the 3 months alone without one visit and we have been constantly chatting and planning and sharing hearts so much that it feels like the last few days before you give birth–just biding your time until the momentous occasion comes. As a result, I have been looking at some old pictures and drawing up old memories and here is one of them–our fall apple picking and putting away for the winter. We missed it this year with Joy gone and us traveling too much.

But I had so much fun remembering, I thought I would share our memory with you! Getting into the mood for cooking a feast for all of my children and special others who will be with us!

Below a story of life from 4 years ago–hard to believe the time flew!

Yesterday we had a great sermon–one of four–which addressed the reality of heaven. I loved hearing that in heaven we will eat and drink and feast and have gardens and rivers and beauty and celebration and singing–only it will be in a perfect and wonderful place–called paradise–even more wonderful than anything we can see or imagine here.

I like knowing these things. It makes me think that when I prepare these thousands of meals that I am providing a little heaven on earth–an imperfect picture here of what real celebration and living will be there! I think that one of my delights over the years, which has grown as I have become better at it, is providing life-giving meals and memories for my family. Wisdom (I love it that wisdom is personified as a woman!) sets her table and provides wonderful food and in the midst of serving, calls those she serves to wisdom, understanding, love and righteousness. I am convinced that we have done more discipleship over meals than any other way!

As the old saying goes, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, but I think there is some truth to it, only applying to all people! Even Wisdom knew as much. Though there are so many things that reach and touch our hearts, I do think that the dining table can become the place of so much spirituality. At least it has for our family. Clay and I talk to our sons Joel and Nathan several times a week. Though both are thriving where they are, both have mentioned often missing our family. And when I asked them what they missed the most, it is as Joel and Nate said, “It’s the great food and the meal time discussions that I miss the most–just being together like that as a family.”

I would have to agree that these moments (and there are thousands of them) have held celebrations, devotions, discussions, funny stories, jokes, laughter, songs, correction (How many times have I told you–use a fork–not your fingers!) and sharing our hearts together.

God designed us to eat, but the time spent eating in warm fellowship, giving words of love and affirmation, challenging ideas with a meaningful quote to discuss or bringing and insightful article to the table to read together makes the moments that we spend in delightful fellowship feasting, a discipleship moment!

Just thought I would include a recipe from a most recent Sunday breakfast meal. Though we try to have devotions as a family, as our children became older and had their own cars, jobs and activities, we could barely get everyone together at once, but we could almost always get everyone together on Sunday morning. So many years ago, even when they were young, I got up early to make a great Sunday morning breakfast. Some of our favorites include home made whole wheat cinnamon rolls–(and yes, someday I will provide the recipe–but it is not perfected yet and I am afraid of misleading all of you! I am so used to throwing it all together–my own recipe–that I don’t exactly know how to put it down as it is different every time!)

Now onto more–scrambled cheese eggs–I do it a certain Clarkson way with bacon bits, cheese and sour cream; Polish eggs–the same only with hash browns mixed into the eggs-omelette’s with green peppers, onions, ham, bacon, avocado as the favorite items and of course cheese; muffins–our favorite being oatmeal and also blueberry or pumpkin; also, apple coffee cake; cottage cheese pancakes with strawberry or blueberry topping.

But one of the family favorites, which I do when I run out of time or get up late, is Whole Wheat Pancakes. I use this recipe below. The great thing about this recipe is that you can change it by adding just a few items. The ones pictured below are my regular ones–pancakes with grated apple, pecans and cinnamon.

Sometimes I add chocolate chips and have made a smiley face with them; or blueberries, one to two squished bananas with chopped nuts; hot peach sauce on top, hot apples on top and whip cream on all of it if desired. The girls in our family prefer real maple syrup and the boys prefer Aunt Jemima or log cabin light.

Of course we always light candles and put on some kind of music.

Somehow our table looks sparse now that we only have 4!

Whole Wheat Pancakes
2 eggs
2 cups whole wheat (or white) flour
1 1/2 cups milk or yoghurt
2 -4 tablespoons honey, sugar or maple syrup-depending on your taste
6 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
Beat eggs with beater until fluffy. Add remaining ingredients until smooth. You can add up to 1/4 cup of milk if you prefer thinner cakes, but we like them fluffy and thick. They do spread out on your griddle–though sometimes I give them a little help when I put them on the griddle by spreading them out a little with my spatula. Let them cook until there are lots of bubbles showing on the surface of the cakes, and they are beginning to dry out on the edges. This makes enough to feed all 6 of us. You can halve the recipe and feed 4 if they are not big eaters!

*as an aside, I always grate apples to put in the pancakes. I also add pecans to some of them. You can also fold in blueberries. Yumm–a great way to add whatever you happen to like! (Once a woman told me that she followed this recipe and her pancakes turned out really heavy. I grind my own flour and don’t add more flour if the batter looks wrong–I add a little more milk. They are pretty light for us–hope it works for you!)

Next, I like to decorate for each season. I keep lidded plastic boxes with the season’s decor and it just takes me a small amount of time to decorate my whole house. (autumn, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s, Easter, Spring and summer) I like, also, these tall glass cannisters that hold whatever you want in the bottom and candles on the top part as pictured below. You can get them in all sorts of sizes–expensive designer ones or Walmart or Target. The reason I like them is that you can just put different things in the bottom of them, place a candle on top and it is an instant centerpiece on a table or coffee table. In autumn, leaves are on the bottom. At Christmas, I put tiny red and green Christmas tree balls in one and pine cones in another I have; small hearts at valentines with a red strand of beads during January and early February, etc.

Providing can also be designing traditions just for your family that take on a life of its own. Every year for a few years, we took a trip to the local apple farm and picked our own apples, ate a picnic out in the fields. Then, some weekend, we would all peel apples, slice and cut them and freeze them for applesauce and or warm apples to have with our soups in the winter. This year, our apple farm had a freeze and so we bought 3 boxes of organic apple to use for our recipes. We always watch the Anne of Green Gables series while doing it and I think we have every line memorized. This year, since our family is ridding itself of lots of our plastic, we decided to put our recipes in jars. I must say we missed the boys as they always did a lot of work with us on these!

The final outcome so far: 17 jars of homemade applesauce and 12 jars of apple butter (minus the jars eaten!)

Now, tonight we will do the last box–apple pie filling!

We so enjoyed praying for all of you today. It was such a good time of fellowship with my girls–I should do this more. Have a great day tomorrow and know we are in His loving and wonderful hands.

Grace, peace and an abundance of His love to all of you today!

Sally

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Child Training, Family, Food, Home, Hospitality, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Our Family, Recipes, Table Settings, Traditions

Cultivating Civility

September 16, 2011 by Sally 13 Comments

Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.
C. S. Lewis

As I pursue the idea of building foundations of truth and beauty and loveliness into the souls of our children, I have to say that we cannot pass on what is not a part of our own lives. A mom is the CEO of her home, the one who determines and cultivates the life, activities, values and soul, she must be working from the depth of her own soul. This is a long term call–a long distance run, and so pacing ourselves, making sure our own emotional cups are full, seeing that we are growing in grace and beauty is essential to modeling that to our children. I will be more intent on writing about how to build foundations in little ones, but first I would suggest that a mom must define, “What kind of a woman do I want to be? How can I become more excellent? How I am doing on growing more in grace and civility each day?” I suggest that each year, moms who want to grow in wisdom, must take a morning or afternoon away to think through personal goals for themselves and the plan in time to make those goals happen. I will be writing more about that after I finish writing about how to establish values that build children into strong, godly leaders. But, first, you must define who you want to be, so that the influence you give to your children will come from your own soul-set values and convictions. Below I share a story of my own life from a few years ago–and I see that my children love it when I am a picture of civility–it draws them to their finer selves! Enjoy.

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Excitement bubbled up inside as I considered the day I had charted for myself. A morning away as a real, live friend, around my own age! Carefully applying my make up, smoothing my hair to its most beautiful style and dressing up in something a bit more sophisticated than my regular jeans marked an adult day out with a beloved friend. Time away from my work-a-day world of children, dishes, teaching, writing and then doing it all over again, is rare. I am one who sometimes likes the predictable on such days–depending on those places I know will bring pleasure and comfort. Meeting my friend in a favorite cafe promised to provide a spot for catching up and sharing dreams and ideas. Now the reason I am telling you this is that I was looking for a day off–a day without conflict, a day of rest before the “busy-ness” of the year starts again!

High-backed, overstuffed chairs provided privacy from the other customers and just the settling in we needed for our morning together. A steamy pot of tea, warm apple-caramel coffee cake all went down easily. Times like this help me to find my center. A busy and passed-too-fast summer had left me a bit fragmented and out of breath. I was storing up this pleasure and goodness and relaxation against the very busy next few months of a new school year, which is upon me!

After an hour and a half of conversation, we were ready to proceed on to our next pleasure–a stop at a lovely gift shop, filled to the brim with china tea cups and pots, delectable bits of jams and jellies and tea; a beautiful array of cook books and biographies and children’s books, feminine clothing and an array of other girl-pleasing artifacts. We hoped to exchange some ideas with the owner about books and art and other future projects.

Just walking in was a pleasant sensate experience, because of all the pretty and fine gifts scattered around the shop. As we chatted with the store owner about our day and some of the books and one of my new projects, she engaged with us in lively conversation. I looked at my watch and realized that I needed to be home to take Joy to a choir practice and so I tried to savor my few minutes as of quiet heart-sharing with my friend. We left the shop and I drove home. Much to my pleasure, the traffic was much less than usual and I found myself home with a half-hour to spare.

I chose not to glance in the kitchen to see what messes were there, but instead, made myself a cup of hot tea. I knew the messes would be there to tame when we all got back home later. I walked over the backpack and a small stack of books on my stairs to my bedroom. They could be cleaned up before dinner. I walked in, lit my candles, turned on my cd with the soothing piano melodies rising and flowing from my Pride and Prejudice cd (very beautiful, by the way!). Joy, who had been in her room reading, heard me and gently knocked on my door.

“Come in, sweetness!” I responded. “Here, have a few sips of tea with me before we have to leave.”

She sat down, and began to bubble all over me with thoughts and ideas and incidences that had happened in her morning. I intentionally took a deep breath and observed with thanksgiving at my child who has so much become my delightful friend. We had fifteen minutes together in peace and pleasure.

“Mom, I am so glad you take time for civility–it makes me feel special, and most of all, it really makes me feel like you like listening to me and just celebrating life together.” (Has she been around Sarah lately? And now, she regularly lights candles, sips tea and reads–hummmm–where did she get the habit?)

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I taught my monthly mom’s group and we were discussing chapter 8 in Mission of Motherhood. Our topic was becoming the gardener of your children’s souls. Even as you would not expect a garden to emerge from throwing a handful of seeds into the wind into your back yard, so we cannot expect our children to have excellence in their own personal lives by just hoping it happens. Though education is important, it is mostly the way we invest in the other moments of life when our children’s souls, manners, habits, skills will determine who they really become. When we become the gardener of their souls, we plant beauty, memories, confidence, and winsome ways of living that will capture their own imaginations. (Mission of Motherhood)

First, we must take time to be civilized. I know that my soul dries out if I don’t plan in time that fills my own emotional cup. Getting away from my home (where all the chores cry out my name!), to a lovely place where I can think or read or share time with a friend is something I try to plan into my schedule. It doesn’t happen as often as I like, but I need it so that I can get back to my center and fill the cups of all those who are in my life to take from my own heart–children, husband, friends, and ministry. I will have nothing to give if I don’t take care of myself first. So each year as I plan my children’s needs and schedules and activities, I take time to get alone and evaluate, “How am I doing–physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally? How can I simplify my responsibilities so that I can make it with grace through the next months.

Next, though, I make sure to plan in civilizing times with my family–traditions like family dinners or deserts that we will share with our friends, special Sunday afternoon tea times–the first Apple Pie time with a story book. (Giving my children the responsibility of decorating the dining table, writing little notes of encouragement to their guests who will come, lighting the candles, making the meal.) We plan a time for making cookies or bread or flower baskets to share with those we know who are in need of encouragement or love. (We found cute pumpkin baskets and filled them with dried flowers–Joy sold a few to raise money for a dog she hopes to purchase and then we chose two for special family friends who need to know they are appreciated.)

Plan civility into the moments of your life this fall. Make time for you to have your own experience, however small, that will remind you that you are royalty–as a child of the king. And then, make time for your family, to have peace and beauty and manners and elegance in your home, however small. It will produce a soul that values taking the time to celebrate the importance and intimacy of friendship and fellowship. Happy weekend!

Filed Under: Education, Food, Mothering, Music, My Books, Tea, Traditions

Valuing Traditions

February 10, 2011 by Sally 12 Comments

Last weekend, I had the privilege of having all of my children with me in California. They are a blessing and I do want to say, they are mostly happy with each other and get along and are a blessing–your children will grow up and they are listening to you!

Many moms asked, “What did you do to cultivate your children into best friends? How did you help them learn to enjoy each other? I think one way is that I purposed time that we would all spend together, even as they got older. There were some non-negotiable times when everyone had to be home–sometimes it was a Saturday night pizza movie, most times we were always home on Sunday afternoon tea times, or Sunday morning feasts. Of course when they were little all time was family time and that is when you are really securing tight relationships.

I found this older post from 4 years ago. Joy is now almost 16, but I hope you might enjoy this post of yesteryear!
Every May about this time, I find myself wondering how we started so many birthday traditions so that the expectations of each birthday child is so high. I am a little worn out by this time and my mind ponders, “Now why am I doing this? Does it really make a difference?As I have pondered this the past couple of days, I have realized again, that traditions force us to take time to celebrate life.

Pausing, as a family, in the midst of the busyness of life, communicates that we are more important to each other as a family than all the activities that are swirling around in our lives that separate us from each other. In our case, twelve year old Joy doesn’t often have the full attention of her siblings, who are quite a bit older than her. They are always running here and there to a job, to classes or to meet friends. Yet, on this day, everyone takes a break from their other commitments—even Clay stays home the mornings of birthday breakfasts–and says to the birthday child, “You are beloved in this family and we are here to celebrate your life!”

Joy turned 12 today. I have to admit, that in spite of all the work, I think I can see that the traditions have deeply filled my children’s hearts with affirmation, validation, memories, confidence and blessings that they will draw from for years to come. Today was especially bittersweet, as I imagine that by next May’s birthday, probably only Clay, Joy and I will celebrate her birthday as a family! We will have to import new friends as family.

Each birthday morning, the person we are celebrating, has to wait expectantly in their bedroom. They are allowed something to sip–hot chocolate or tea—and then must wait patiently for the other siblings to come to deliver them to our breakfast table. Usually, I have made my whole-wheat cinnamon rolls–the expected favorites–and I make my own special scrambled eggs—with cheese, sour cream, ham or bacon bits. Strong Austrian coffee is dripping through the filter, while one child is setting the table with the ceramic tea set usually used for all birthdays. (The set was bought over several years at a second’s shop in Austria. By now, several of the dishes are chipped or cracked, but, as we cannot buy anymore here in the States, we are happy that the dishes aren’t broken.)

We are all a part of a team seeking to throw things together as quickly as possible, since often, presents are wrapped and cards are written at the last minute. One child throws the gifts into very familiar bags–many of which we have kept for years. As a matter of fact, the kids all discussed which bags were their favorites and warned me never to give them away to anyone else with a present in it, because it is family tradition! (Winnie the Pooh and a pre-Raphealite bag tied for the favorites!) We put every gift, however small, in it’s own bag. Even if something was purchased for a song at Good Will or at the dollar store, it gets fully wrapped. Consequently, each year, it looks as though the birthday child is getting a zillion presents, even though the ultimate value may not be much at all–it is all part of the sparkle and fun of the morning. (Once, a child received a pacakage of ball point pens–each in its own bag!)Life is a flurry as one sets the table, one lights the candle and puts coffee cream out, another is wrapping and putting on music to set the mood and Clay is always looking for the camera and batteries since he is the official photographer.

Finally, at least a couple of kids, go to the birthday child’s room to blind-fold their eyes, so that they have to stumble into the room with no peaking. What a funny sight this year as 6’5″ Joel and 6’3″ Nathan still willingly participated in leading Joy down the steps for her surprise day.

Seems the conversation never varies from year to year—I think your cinnamon rolls are the best, Mom. Yeah, we have never tasted any that even compared. (Of course this is so I will keep making them from year to year and yes, it does encourage me to keep up the work—even the 5th time this month!)

After breakfast is appropriately enjoyed, the birthday child begins opening gifts one at a time–to be marvelled, commented on and appreciated. Then come the cards—each child and parent usually creates a card and message for the birthday child to read and save in a special box.

Humor always adorns every meal we share, whether it is our somewhat retarded golden retriever who almost knocked down the table to get to the leftover eggs, or some extravagant comment. Today did not disappoint us. I was reading a Jane Austen quote outloud from a card Joy received, “It is much easier to kill realities than phantoms!” At which exact moment, the front door mysteriously blew open–and we all looked for the phantoms who must have entered at precisely on time for a great effect! (Maybe you had to be here–but the timing was perfect and made us all giggle!)

Finally, the pinnacle of the morning is when all of us at the table share with the birthday child what they have meant to us and how we appreciate them and how they have grown. I am still astounded that at 23, 20, 18 and 12, my children take this ritual so seriously. I thought when they were young, they would surely giggle and make sarcastic comments and find it difficult to finish the time. Yet, I am truly amazed that they have vested lots of love and thoughtfulness in these times and I can farely observe the heart of the birthday child being watered and refreshed enough to last for months.

Nathan started this year. “I have been amazed at how confidently and professioally you have been performing–through your Youth Performing Arts choir and through the musicals you were in. You have quite a voice and your are so poised and confident. At the last concert, I got my whole row of friends to yell your name at the teen concert. They all said they wish they had a sister like you. I prayed you into the world and I am very proud to have you as my sister!”

Followed by his generous comments, came Joel’s, Sarah’s, Clay’s and mine. “You have really grown in your commitment to the Lord this year and you have such intelligent things to say in our discussions.” “You have really developed in your personality this year. The way you decorate your room is amazing, your writing is very expressive, you’re learning to read music so well on the piano, and you are passing all of us up in your many abilities!” “You have been a real friend to me and you always have such interesting things to say in the car when I pick you up from classes. It is obvious that you are reading and learning a lot. You have also been a lot of fun for me.” And on it goes.

I see before me, these children who have learned to love each other in spite of the personality differences, the various immature and hormonal and argumentative stages of life. I am amazed and grateful. How did this happen—these children who threaten to undo me from time to time with their whining, silly fusses, immaturity and friction. Yet, here they are in their right minds, enjoying each other, laughing at each other’s jokes, discussing issues loudly, and participating in family bonding–willingly, generously. What a gift to me, Lord, to see this picture of watching Joy’s heart fill with emotioal health, before her brothers and sister venture to the far winds-Sarah and Joel to Cambridge, then to Seattle in the fall, Nathan to his classes in another state.

But when everyone goes their way, I see that there will be hundreds of memories shared, loved communicated, prayers offered at our table over the years of celebrations–because we took time to invest in tying our heartstring to each other. These foundations of emotional mental and spiritual health will serve to stabilize and give hope to each of us long after we are separated by miles. Now I see, all the effort and cooking and washing of dishes and wrapping of presents did matter because they provided the frame around which a life of love was painted on the souls of each of my precious children. Ok, move over—I will finish the dishes this morning!

Filed Under: Children, Family, Food, Friends, Home, Joyful Life, Our Family, Siblings, Traditions

Kissing the Face of God

December 20, 2010 by Sally 3 Comments

This artwork by Morgan Weistling called Kissing the Face of God evokes awe in my heart as a mother. To think of cuddling the soft, warmth of a newborn, precious from my body and to understand that this wee one is also the transcendent who cast the universe in its place. This tiny one, God, needed the kisses and love and attention of His own mother. The print is one of many that graces this frame during advent season, and it is one of our favorites.

The artist has this to say about her print…

“This painting was first inspired by a song that I heard one day. Sometimes, hearing one phrase is all it takes, and then a flood of inspiration follows. The phrase ‘kissing the face of God’ immediately struck me with this powerful image of Mary and the Baby Jesus. It is an image that we have seen depicted many times, but never simply as a mother and her child with real tenderness. I started to contemplate the awesome privilege that Mary was given, being able to hold God in her arms, but also keeping in mind that He was still her baby. This cute little child whom she bore was also God in the flesh. And yet, she cuddled and kissed Him, just as all mothers do with their babies. This thought propelled me right into this painting which I wanted to be a very human representation of divinity. My prayer is that the viewer will be struck, as I am, with the amazing way that God chose to send His Son into this world — in pure humility.”

Mary has been on my mind lately. Our pastor delivered an insightful sermon about her Sunday. Then at the Christmas Tea for my monthly Bible study, we talked about Mary’s faith. God submitted himself to a fallen, dangerous world by becoming the most vulnerable creature, a baby who required protection, nurture, love and care from one He had crafted Himself.

God chose precious Mary to be His mother, the one who would daily mold the soul memories in the life of her beloved child and creator. That she would inform His earthly tastes for living; she who would worship God, her Father daily in front of her very own infant son, to share with Him in the glory God in her own home is the miracle of God incarnate, on earth as one of us. Mary’s humble beginnings, were from a common family, and yet she and Joseph were the ones entrusted to raise the son of God.

What a statement–that a normal family could be the very place holiness would be lived out, a place competent to hold and protect and shape the human side of the son of God. And so this speaks to us today–a normal family, dedicated to His life and righteousness, the place adequate to be the home of God. But there is an attribute about Mary which we may glimpse to see just what qualified her for the task. She had invested her life engaging in Scripture, pondering it, embracing it, owning it for her own soul.

What was Mary’s response when she met her cousin Elizabeth? Her words are recorded in Luke 1:46-55. She rejoiced! She called the Lord holy. She talked about His strength, His provision, and His help. Mary knew the God who called her to mother His Son. She called herself “His maidservant.”

This Christmas season, pray daily that He would make you His maidservant. Take time to read — really read — the Christmas story with your children, the precious ones God chose you to mother! End your reading time with a gentle kiss. May you be blessed as you minister to your sweet family.

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Congratulations to Heather Ashe and Stacie Nelson–the winners of the MOM HEART CONFERENCE DRAWING. We will be drawing for new winners in January. Stay tuned for the information on how you may enter.

Filed Under: Art, Beauty, Homemaking, Joyful Life, Parenting, Simplicity, Traditions

Christmas ~ A Time to Enjoy Reading Aloud!

December 15, 2010 by Sally 4 Comments

Sarah’s Book on Books ~ a great Christmas gift idea!

On a storm-blown Sunday afternoon in a creaky old manor house in England, I rediscovered the timeless delight of classic children’s books. It took me by surprise. I was one of about thirty international students studying and living in England for the summer, and this was our first British teatime all together. A shy, awkward silence had fallen about us as we tried our best to balance philosophy, sophistication, and hot mugs of tea, when one of our tutors said something that sent us all staring.
“Let’s read Winnie-the-Pooh.”
A swift current of suppressed mirth ran the length of the room, but we were up for some fun, and the tutor assigned each person a part in the story. Pooh’s expedition to the North Pole was the story of choice, and before we knew what was happening we were immersed in the comical, compact world of the Hundred Acre Woods. The story had all of us — tutors, college students, post-graduates, old, and young — laughing until our sides literally ached.”
Read for the Heart pp. 113-114

Reading together as a family is a Clarkson tradition. Hours of memories have been made around good books. During the holiday season, busyness can rob you of precious time spent together as a family. Since all children should sleep at night, should being the key word, start the bedtime routine a little bit earlier and pull out a favorite book to read. If Pooh is a bit daunting by its size, try some holiday picture books or some shorter chapter books. Two that are recommended by Whole Hearted children are The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and Cosmic Christmas. Enjoy their reviews!

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is a book I like each Christmas because it is a funny, family-friendly story. It has inspired me to look at Christmas differently and a little more realistically. For example, what if Jesus had colic? The only thing about this book is that it has some questionable language so is better if Mom or Dad reads it aloud and edits as they read.
~ Reviewed by 10 year old young lady

Cosmic Christmas by Max Lucado ( also recently published as The Angel Story) opens a unique porthole into the uncommonly written realm of angels. It is written from Gabriel’s perspective on his mission to give Mary the seed of Christ as Satan is desperately trying to stop him. While it is written from a biblical Christian perspective, this soul stirring book provides a new look on the ” all is calm , all is bright” normal theme of Christmas.

This book is a must read in our home each year.
~ Reviewed by 13 year old boy

What books are you reading to your children this holiday season? May the Lord bless the time you spend together!

Filed Under: Classics, Family Favorites, Holidays, Reading, Reviews, Traditions

Today, I will take the time to…….

November 12, 2010 by Sally 15 Comments

My precious little children, all grown up. Sarah, Nathan, Joy and Joel.

Today I have been bustling around town, treasure hunting for mouth-watering treats, rousing games, intriguing movies, and anything that I think would add to soul-deep memories of my family. The Clarksons are traipsing off to the mountains this weekend, Breckenridge to be exact. We associate this place with family, hilarity, hiking, outdoor jacuzzis under the stars in 25 degree weather and years of investing in these places and these traditions together, when all were younger and we were a whole family, all together. There is not much time these days to get everyone together, and so we make the time for each other, intentionally, especially in the midst of our busyness to say, “I need time alone with just family,” in the midst of all the other activities of this stage of life.

But this time, only the girls will be with Clay and me. I will miss my tall, young idealistic boys who are out to make their way in the world. As I have been driving to all the stores on my list, I was reflecting on what I would do if I had it to do over again–to make sure they all really heard and experienced the messages my heart, that wanted to imprint on theirs.

I would stop in the midst of my chores to listen to a boy-joke being shared and I would laugh out-loud and tell them they were so much fun.

I would stop unloading the groceries when my husband is talking to me and look deeply into his eyes and listen to what he is saying, communicating with my whole self, “You are such a treasure to me. I want to know what you are thinking and feeling and dreaming.”

I would take the moment to tossle a head as I am passing through a room and say, “I am so blessed to have you as my very own child. You make me so happy, just being you.”

I would stop what I am doing, to go outside to look at a “treasure” when I hear, “Hey, Mama, come look!”–an apple blossom blooming on our very first apple tree or a worm on the grass or whatever had capture their curiosity. I would camp more outside on our deck and cuddle up under the sleeping bags more often to marvel at the stars and the one who made them.

I would open my eyes to take a snapshot of today–just as it is–with boy noises, loud discussions, toys being played with intently, piano being practiced, thoughts being shared, messes coming and going..

Instead of giving advice when a child is opening their heart through tears, I would listen with a sorrowful, sympathetic heart and take seriously what they were feeling, instead of mentally planning that the clothes in the dryer need to be folded.

I would laugh more, worry less, lecture only on rare occasions, overlook messes instead of wasting my time being neurotic, notice the fingerprints of my maker in the moments of my days, and cherish those few years when we were all home, together, being the Clarksons and celebrating life.

So, this weekend, as we getaway in the mountains, I will engage my heart in storing up pictures of the precious ones still here. I will listen, love, wash dishes and mugs happily and live fully in the few moments remaining before this season flies quickly into another season, and I will never be able to live this day well again.

And I will email my boys and “I love you and miss you” note, to tell them how very much they mean to me, how I believe in them and in their futures–which do have a hope, and how blessed I am to have them as my very own sons.

Filed Under: Family, Home, Joyful Life, Our Family, Ponderings, Traditions

Family Heritage that Inspires Leadership

September 1, 2010 by Sally 6 Comments

Family Day, 2010

Sarah, 26–author, Nathan, actor in Hollywood 21; Joy, 15, singer-songwriter; Joel, 24, composer, Boston.

“I will make you to become fishers of men.” Jesus to his disciples

Having lived long enough to observe many Christian families–with every kind of educational choice, I have pondered, “Why is it that some children stay faithful to God and some children give in to moral pressure?”

I have pondered this question a lot, because I know so many wonderful parents, who have raised their Christian children with a great education, good training and Biblical ideals. It is not an easy world for our children to enter into and I know that there are no formulas.So, I do not pretend to have all the answers.

I get lots of questions about what did we do to reach their hearts? Mostly what we have written in our books. But I do try to acess those principles of family, that I think could have contributed to our children growing up to love and serve the Lord. I have no guarantees that they will stay on this path, but I do feel that there are some wise ways that have helped to give them foundations that have served them in the wide arenas where the Lord has taken them.

I think that often times parents inadvertently have as their goals to train their children to become moral, (not get pregnant or get on drugs), to know all the Biblical stories, or to understand how to make good decisions. And yet still miss the heart of our children–that they want to be loved and they want to know their life has meaning and purpose to God. Post moderns do not accept hypocrisy or rituals just because we have done them for many years.

Education presents another issue. We so much want our children to excell that we can also get distracted on these issues. It is easy for homeschooling parents to be so focussed on what curruculum to buy or for all parents to focus on SAT scores or lessons, opportunities, training, that they can leave out the real purpose of parenting–to build our children into godly leaders to who will be faithful to the gospel messages in thier life time. This is the only goal worthy of reaching their heart’s cry for purpose and meaning in such in immoral and lost world.

What they must know-God has created us to be stewards of His kingdom messages

However, I think that in order to make it in this world, we must understand that our children need something more vital. We must captivate our children’s heart with a vision that gives them a foundational calling on their lives–to give them something bigger than themselves to live for.

It is what Jesus did with his disciples. He didn’t say, “Follow me and I will make you law-keepers.”

Many unwittingly do this with their children and I see when we focus on keeping all the rules, we are in danger of building “Future Pharisees of the World.” But Jesus purposefully pointed his words to their deisre to become leaders–to be those who would influence others.

From the time our children were born, we taught them that they were born with their unique personality, drives and dreams to bring God glory in and through their lives. We have said, “I wonder how God will use you in the world to show people His light?”

When practicing piano, “Maybe God will use you to bring great music to soothe and comfort people.”

Or, look at Daniel. Even though he lived in a foreign country that believed in idols, he was so godly and used his position with such wisdom and influence, that 60,000 non-jews wanted to return to Jerusalem to worship the God of Daniel. I wonder if God will use you as a Daniel in your life-time.

What they must be–servants

But then, our children need also to see us using our lives to bring truth and redemption into the world. They need to see that we invest our money in missions, for the homeless, in our church, to help the poor. They need to see us teaching Bible studies or sharing Christ, or serving children, using our home as a center for life and ministry.

What they must do–serve and reach out alongside us while they are growing up

If we want our children to have as their self-image, someone who has a call on their lives, then we must give them an opportunity to practice while they are with us. Our children have served at Homeless shelters, hosted so many different types of outreaches in our home (Bible studies, Christmas parties to reach our neighbors, kids parties, giving up their bedrooms for guests, serving meals, make dinners for sick or lonely people, serving at our conferences, praying alongside us and then serving and giving up their time and money alongside us.)

Another tradition we implemented in our lives was Family Day.

Why do you always have your children fly home in August–it isn’t Christmas or Easter? This question we often hear from our friends when they find out we save the end of August to be a family.

Clay and I got married on August 30, so we dedicated a weekend day every year around this date to celebrate “What it means to be a Clarkson!”

We have a feast of a breakfast–homemade cinnamon rolls, cheese, bacon, scrambled eggs; and drink of choice. Then we spend the next couple of hours reading through the passage in Joshua 4:1-24, remembering how God wanted the Israelites to document and remember what He had done in their lives to show His strength and reality.

Following the reading, we all participate in a time of telling and writing down the ways we have seen God work in our lives through the year–prayers He answered; provisions He made when we needed Him, blessings He gave, ways that He led. And every year we are amazed, when we take the time, to see how God has worked. This year, there seemed to be a constant thought of God being with us all in our specific places–providing and leading in ministry, in Boston, in LA, in decisions–God with us through all that we needed.

We then pack a picnic of homemade fried chicken, Texas chocolate sheetcake, baked beans, chips, deviled eggs, and head up to a national park where we hike, and take a zillion pictures and have fun. It has become a tradition over the years to stop on the way down the mountain at a Starbucks and get a favorite drink. This day usually ends in a game night or movie night.

Sunday afternoon, we have a family tea time and spend the next couple of hours sharing what our needs are, telling each other our prayer requests, and then spend time praying for each other.

It has given us a sense of history as a family about how God is working in our lives and telling His story of faithfulness through the details of our life.

Intentionally Reminding them of their roots and of their ideals

Then, when my out of town children are home, I always take them out for their own time. I encourage them and tell them how much I have seen them grow and how I see God moving in their lives. I tell them I pray for them every day. Often, if the Lord brings to my mind areas in which I feel they need encouragement to grow, I share that as well. Become less selfish, more of a peacemaker, reach out, cultivate more discipline in reading the word every day, and so on. And then I have a time of praying blessing over them.

Yesterday, as I drove Nathan back to the airport to return to Hollywood, he said, “You know, these times at home with the family help to keep me anchored–just to be with “us”, our ideals, meals, fun, times in the word and to remember who we are helps me so much. Thanks for flying me home–and just keep praying for me!”

It does take our time–cooking, cooking and more cooking. It does take our energy–no sleep, lots of noise, messes and so many discussions. It does take planning and giving up our normal schedule and putting things aside for a couple of weeks, while we are all together–just as I put my whole life aside when they were small. But, I think, even as Jesus gave up his 3 years to build and teach and refine and remind his disciples, it is the same intentional process that builds and nourishes souls who will understand God with them, God working through them and God as the provider for them.

Filed Under: Education, Family, Our Family, Parenting, Traditions

East Coast, Here we come! Philadelphia, Boston, and New York City!

August 24, 2010 by Sally 5 Comments

PHILADELPHIA, BOSTON, AND NEW YORK CITY–HERE WE COME!

Seeing, handling, touching, acting out, experiencing, reading outloud—these are the live experiences that make history feel real. Since my children were very little, I have purposed to plan ways that they could really experience what we studied.

Missions was not just be a story that someone else lived, that we read about. I wanted my children to experience being in a foreign country and eating foreign food and hearing a foreign language, while seeing the great needs of others.

Serving in a soup kitchen or babysitting at a single mom center for battered women makes needs more real, because children get to put a name to a face that they can pray for over months.Seeing how blessed we are as Americans is a nice thought, but when a child sees homeless children or feels what it is like to be hungry, they have a whole new understanding of poverty, or material wealth or whatever!

For this reason, since my oldest children were very small, I have intentionally planned and purposed to give them real life experiences so that they could really get a more realistic understanding of those we studied. It is why we have been such travelers. Reading about historical figures is inspiring, but seeing places they lived or built or battles where they were fought gives them a more realistic understanding of the issues of stress, physical limitations, issues in the lives of the people they have studied.

So travel has always been a central part of our lives. I could not do this in certain seasons of life, but I learned very early, that my little ones could be very happy in a car if I gave them things to play with, draw, munch on, or listen to and so we have traveled our whole lives. It started when my older kids were young. Clay worked for 3 weeks on our book catalogue every year and my friend’s husband had 3 very busy weeks with his animal husbandry business, so we planned a trip together every spring. Finding museums, battlefields, cafes, art galleries, and more were our goal. Always we would have 2 or 3 books on tape to listen to about the places or people we were going to visit.

This year, our little history group below, are planning a history trip to Philadelphia, Boston and New York City. We have been studying American history–early years for the last 9 months, saving our money and planning our trip. We will be in these three cities during mid-October. I would be happy to speak one evening in each city. If you have a support group or mom’s group that you would like for me to address, please send any requests to Sally@wholeheart.org and I will give them to my sweet two other mom friends and they will help me figure it all out.

As it has happened over the years, we have often stayed in homes of people, shared meals together and we have made many of our close friends just from meeting with people we found on my blog. It always makes Clay feel better to know we are not in a city without friends close by.

And just maybe we travel not so much out of philosophical reasons, but more because I love to travel and get away and am too adhd to sit still all the time. So I look forward to hearing from you.

Below is the trip we took last year. What great memories we have stored over the years. Our history group has shrunk over the years as our children have graduated and left home. We are down to 2 girls and two boys and 3 moms!

PS We are going to be on the train and will not have a way to go outside of the public transportation in each city—so I will speak to groups in the cities!

Deb Weakly, mom; Jack, 13; and Christie, 16; Shelley Rose, mom; Jackson, 13 and Joy, 15 and me.

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; love more, and all good things will be yours.”

Swedish proverb

Not many people have driven to Sweden, but our history group has extraordinary powers! Well, really, we just drove to mini Sweden, AKA Linsborg, Kansas. Miss Sally, Deb and Shelley and their children hopped in a red mini van and began their seven hour adventure driving to Kansas. After much groaning, exciting wheat watching and about 50,000 cows and windmills to observe, we finally arrived at out destination. What followed was two days of good old fashioned Swedish fun. Bicycles built for five, Dala horses built for none, (but piled with four) and pickled herring. Yum! Swedish pancakes and hot chocolate, Swedish dancing, vikings on sticks (meant for eating) and one cold bleacher. If you have nothing to do two years from now for the Hylliningsfest, we strongly suggest you check it out. -Joy, 14; and Jackson, 12. (our next door neighbors for several years and friends for 10 years–the kids are like brother and sister or cousins.)

If you would like to view more pictures, I will post a website for you to visit.

Getting atop a Dala horse is harder than you think. Dala Horses were all over town.

(There is a legend that says that it was a young boy on top of a Dala Horse that saved the people from the bad trolls and elves. So Dala horses are always Scandanavian–primarily Swedish.)

Filed Under: Family Trips, Friends, Ministry, Our Family, People, Relationships, Traditions, Travel

Pulling away to the quiet into His presence

July 7, 2010 by Sally 4 Comments

I love my brood!

“How often I wanted to gather your children together, just as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not have it.” Luke 13:34

I get giddy just thinking about the last week in August. Family Day is a time each year that we gather with all of our children to celebrate the “Clarksons”. My mother heart longs to have all of us together, close, touching each other, enjoying each other. They are my beloved ones, the ones in whom I am related–they came from my body, I have nursed them and loved them. They are my brood.We eat our favorite foods and have feasts together. We spend all of our time, just us, talking, giggling, celebrating life, sharing our dreams, thoughts, cuddling together on the couches watching our favorite movies, go hiking together, remember together all the ways we have seen God answer prayer and provide for us as a family.

It is a time I am blessed to gather my brood under my wings. As a mother, I delight in sharing the company of my precious children and loving and ministering to them and sharing hearts one more time, before they all go back into the world.

And so Jesus shared with us the same mothering example–he longed to gather his brood under his wings, so to speak. Jesus wants a relationship with us.

Loving Him, Cherishing Him

When asked what the most important commandment was, he said to love Him.

Jeremiah further tells us, “Let Him who boasts, boast in this, that He understands and knows me, that I am the God who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness.” Jeremiah 9:24

God was walking in the garden he had created for the delight of His children, Adam and Eve, in the middle of the day to share their companionship. Imagine the creator of the world seeking the friendship of human beings. It is His heart, to love and to be loved.

He tells us in Revelation, “But I have this against you, you have left your first love, so repent.” Revelation 2:4

Coming to the quiet, is coming to Jesus, being with Him, loving Him, worshipping Him and appreciating Him, listening to Him, serving Him.

Mary, as I mentioned in the last post, showed us this posture–listening to His every word.

I used to ask myself, what qualified Mary to be the mother of Jesus? I think that she was a woman who loved her God. She pondered His word, she engaged her heart in His majesty.

Luke 1:46 shows us her heart: “My soul glorifies my Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my savior.

Her heart, deep down, where her dreams and values and love was–was where she treasured her Lord.

So, if we are to become spiritual beings, spiritually wise, it will be in drawing near to God, seeking to ponder His being, listening to His voice, loving Him and believing in Him and in His goodness.

To be truly spiritual means to be more like Him. You become like whoever you hang around with–if you are hanging around with Jesus and loving Him, He will rub off on you. What you sow you will reap.

The World’s voice

Often, I have said, “In the absence of Biblical convictions, people will go the way of culture.” I want to also say, “In the absence of investing your time and heart and love in God, your heart will be invested in the world, the culture and all the voices clamoring for your heart’s attention. The world clamors for our attention all the time.

The world says:

status, the pride of life is important–God says the humble please Him

what you own, your riches defines you–the possessions, idols of life–Jesus came without home or riches and told us to lay up our treasure in heaven

what you have accomplished, your works justify your life–Jesus says, it is by grace through faith that we are justified and made beautiful–Christ’s work in us, He makes us adequate

your busyness means you are accomplishing something, scripture says, “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.” Faith is what pleases God–not works

pleasing people and having lots of friends and admirers proves your worth. Proverbs tells us that the fear of man brings a snare.

Establishing your kingdom on earth is a worthy goal. Jesus says, “Seek first the kingdom of God. Thy kingdom come.” He wants to build us for eternity, not for this earth.

Pleasure and self-gratification is what will satisfy. Jesus says, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose His soul.”

If I get my way and convince God that He needs to do my will, I will be satisfied and fulfilled. Jesus says, He who loses His life, gains it. Jesus said, “I came to do His will, not my own will.”

His Solutions

I found that the more time I spent in His word, praying, seeking to trust Him with all of my problems and issues and fears and sought to have His values, they almost always led me away from culture–even from the Christian culture I was surrounded by.

I also wish I had not fretted so much about my life, as He used all situations to strengthen, to build, to deepen my compassion for others who were struggling. He had a will for my life–to prepare me for eternity–to make me more like Jesus–and that has taken Him some bit of work. But I wish I had trusted Him more along the way, and not fought what He was doing.

But without the investment of time with Him, it is impossible to be spiritual. The Holy Spirit resides in us, He speaks to us the things of Jesus, He teaches us the wisdom and reality of His word, but we can quench the Spirit and close off His voice, by engaging so much in our own ways and spending too much time in the company of the world and listening to their voice.

Practical suggestions

1. Read through the psalms–one per day–either in your Bible on in a journal, circle or write down anything, any truth, any attribute it teaches you about God. You will have a wealth of knowledge about God when you do this and you will know much more about His heart.

2. Do the same for Hebrews. Hebrews tells us the Jesus is the exact representation of God. Look at Hebrews to learn the lessons of what pleases God, the attributes of Jesus, the truth about His will for us to hold fast.

3. Read a proverb a day and make a column in your notebook or journal and write world on one side and wisdom on the other side.

4. Figure out your own puzzle–when is a time or times you can be sure to have time to be with the Lord–to read scripture, to pray about your life and issues. Even 5 minutes is better than nothing–but try to have at least one time a week for an extended period. There is no holy time–you can learn just as much at midnight as you can at early dawn–whenever suits you and your situation the best is the right time.

Lord, I pray that you will raise up amongst these women, ones who will love you, seek you, trust you, serve you with their whole hearts. Speak to them in their needs and issues of life, help them to learn from you. Comfort them and guide them in wisdom. Bless these precious ones I pray and thank you so much for your generous, unfailing love and that you would want to be with us. We love and worship you. In Jesus precious and wonderful name we come. Amen

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Children, Family, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Our Family, Traditions

Rejuvenating Rest…a mandate from God–part 1

June 18, 2010 by Sally 12 Comments

When I had three children, 2 more miscarriages, and then Joy just shy of 42, I found myself almost constantly in a state of exhaustion. She was my third child who had nocturnal asthma, and I was up with her most nights as she gasped for breath and I was full into homeschooling my older children, and having a ministry, and busy, busy, busy all the time. I suddenly came to a point where I was gaining weight, trying to avoid depression and burn out and didn’t know exactly how to get off the merry-go-round.

When I went to a doctor, he said, “You can kill yourself of die early if you want to, or go downhill in your health continually, but if you don’t figure out how to get some rest, you will surely have consequences in your life. You have got to manage your own life, stress, rest and health–no one else will do that for you. If you don’t you are headed toward serious consequences.”

It was a wake-up call for me. I could see that often I was short with my children and impatient with Clay and stress eating and fighting feelings of depression. It was not how I wanted to live. God got a hold of my heart and I began to look at scripture and come up with a plan. I realized that I needed to take hold of my life and make a plan.

God made our bodies to need sleep every night–our health depends on it. We cannot think without proper sleep. It creates problems with cortisol and adrenalin and increases the tendency to gain weight and can be one of the sources of depression. Here and here are articles concerning sleep deprivation and its results on the body.

I began to realize that I needed to be a steward of my body. If I was the key to my family’s happiness and feeling of well being, then I needed to stay healthy, have a sense of balance in my life to be able to pass it on to them.

As I looked at scripture, I found plenty of places that encouraged me to re-look at my life.

“it is vain for you to rise up early or to retire late,

to eat the bread of painful labors.

For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep. Psalm 127: 2

I began to ask myself the question, what things am I doing that are vain–creating too much work and stress and “painful labor” that I can eliminate? Which activities are really not necessary or beneficial and drain our whole family and especially me! How can I eliminate some of the “hurry up and get in the car so we won’t be late,” times that really added stress to all of us.

I began to realize that God had not given me more to do than I could do, so I needed to rest within the limitations of my season of life at that time. I began to say no to the expectations of other people that stole my energy and attention, but did not build my core priorities. (stealers of time like phone calls, emails, activities that robbed us from peace in our home, too much time with other people and not as much time of quietness in my home. I had to change my expectations from all the voices in my head that told me what I should do to what was my desire and what was best for me and for my children.

“By the seventh day, God completed His work which He had done and He rested on the 7th day from all His work.” Genesis 2:2

I recognized that God valued and modeled rest to us, and that I needed to begin putting it into my mind as a grid from which I viewed life–that rest was strategic and necessary. I had to look for ways to simplify life, to rest, to put aside my own work–not as an option but as a command.

“Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.” Exodus 20:8

God instituted these mandates because they would bring health and well-being to our lives.

Not only did we establish our own Sabbath rest day and applied the spirit of sabbath to our own personalities and needs, but I instituted rest in the midst of every day at home.

Sunday, Sabbath Rest

On Sundays, we put away the work of the house or Monday-Friday tasks. We established an afternoon tea time–I would make something wonderful on Saturday or buy something of a snack. Around 3, on Sunday afternoon, after I had taken a nap or everyone had had a chance to rest or play outside, we would have a cup of tea and delectable snack and read grand story or picture books, or Clay and I would just sit and talk to the kids or go for a walk as a family in the mountains or watch a fun afternoon movie or just rest and play. We still do this every Sunday we are home. It became a beloved tradition of all of us that my far away children still love to come home to–it was an anchor of time we all looked forward to spend together in peace and fun each week.

The work was always there on Monday, but our goal was to give ourselves and family a time to stop, to enjoy the fellowship of church, and then to play and have fun and put aside the duties of the week.

Daily Rest

I established a rest time every day in my home. Everyone would go to their rooms or places around 2 and have an hour quiet time–I piled baskets of books and magazines in their rooms, they could take a little snack and all would read or nap during that hour. I would usually manage a cup of tea and 30 minutes or so by myself–when you establish this early, and everyone does it, it becomes a habit and all cooperate. Especially when you have several children and the younger ones tend to do what the whole group does.

This became a parenthesis in my day–a breath away–a time to sit just for a few minutes to regroup and to rest my mind, my emotions, my body. Of course no family is perfect and there are always exceptions and interruptions, but it was a goal, a discipline and it created space in my day and made my children into readers.

There are seasons when a mom does not get as much sleep–when she has babies, when there is illness. But in these times, a mom should just understand that these seasons are common and they should adjust their expectations and body to the limitations of this season. Have simpler meals–fruit, bread, cheese, popcorn, raw veggies, salads, simple sandwiches, make life as simple as possible during times of stress–plan your life so as to make your work load easier–eat off of paper plates if it helps. A mother’s strength is essential to the well-being of her whole family.

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Mothering, Simplicity, Traditions