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Seize the Moment–it will never come again.

June 3, 2008 by  11 Comments

Dear Moms,

I am so very happy to have finally reached summer! What a blessing to have fewer activities, longer days of sunshine, many more fresh fruits and veggies and more leisurely days with my family and friends! But summer also represents to me, a time to sow—a time to garden! I especially see this as a time to purposefully sow into my children’s souls and memories!


When I wrote the new version of Season’s of a Mother’s heart, I included a story about Nathan in the summer sections. Summer is that season where you have a window time to cultivate and sow seeds for a window of time, when the window is closed—just as the time to plant seeds and grow a garden closes, we cannot go back. The time has passed. I have observed this in many areas, many years.

The particular story about Nathan concerned his summer after he graduated from high school. By that time, Nate was already busy with work and friends and activities. So I knew that when he had free time for me to be with him, I wanted to make it special so that he would look forward to other such times. Seems to me that if I want to have an open heart to speak to, I have to invest the time to fill my children’s emotional cups, first–even if it means filling their stomach!

To make a long story short, (and you can read about it in the new book), I made time to take Nathan out for coffee and lunch and then took him to a beautiful spot in the mountains to pray with him and dedicate his adult life to the Lord. It was a very memorable moment and we had a lot of fun! And he even held my hand as we prayed together! When the time was over, Nate said, “Mom, I think my friends should hear what you told me today! Not all of them are committed to the Lord, but I know they would all love to eat! Why don’t you make them steak dinners, and fully loaded baked potatoes and homemade bread and a chocolate cake and then they will listen to any thing you say!

So, a week later, I invited his friends and had such a party and shared scripture with the boys and gave them a send-off speech, (I know that God can use you boys to change the world if you choose to follow Him speech.)  These darling, funny, hunks of boys, all huddled up around me and asked me to pray for them. So I prayed my heart out in as cool a way as I could—and can just see them in my minds eye, even now, so wanting their lives to be special

Since then, a number of moms who have read that chapter, have asked me to post what I said to the boys on my blog or write it into a newsletter! The whole 30 minute speech would be too long, but I did decide to include the verses I used and just a few comments.
Here are the main verses I used.

1.  Above all, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all, all the things you need to live your life will be added to you.” (Matt 6:33 Seeking first the kingdom comes with the understanding that we are only temporarily living in this world, but everything we do and choose in this world will have implications in heaven–where Jesus’ Kingdom will be lived for eternity. We have this time given to us to be faithful, bold, lifegiving, generous. Choose to see everything you do through the lense of eternity. Seek first, as you make decisions, to make them in light of His Kingdom and His righteousness and you will build and store treasures for all of eternity!

2.  The most important thing God wants from you is to love Him. He doesn’t expect you to be perfect any more than Peter was perfect, but He can work with a man who serves Him from the depth of his heart.
“You shall love the Lord with all of your heart—your personality, passions, dreams, purpose—value Him above all others. Love Him in the way you speak to others, treat others. Love Him in and through all of your actions and then you will know what is acceptable and what is not moral or right to do!  Love Him with all of your mind—let only those thoughts that honor him fill your mind. Fill your mind with His words, read great books, only watch those movies and engage in those areas of thinking that are worthy of His greatness.

Along with this verse, remember that God’s is looking for men of a faithful heart and He tells us that, “The eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” II Chronicles 16:9

3. Love your neighbor as yourself. God is a relational God and you are like Him when you choose to be loving, forgiving and gracious to people. When you love unconditionally, you are acting out God’s divine nature.

4.  Remember that each of you has a personality, strengths, messages and skills that God has created you with uniquely. He also says in Ephesians 2:10, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” He has something for you to do in this world in your life-time that no one else can accomplish. Ask Him to show you what you have been designed to do, how you are to bring His light in the world, how you can be a redeemer to bring His truth, hope and beauty to all that you meet. When you follow Him where He has designed you to go, you will have His power, blessings and resources to complete it. Seek to do His work in His power and in submission to His will and you will be used by Him mightily.

5.  In a world that is separated from God, you will encounter many battles and times of difficulty where your resolve to be committed to God will be tested. The one thing Satan would most love to accomplish is to have God’s redeemed quit believing in Him and His goodness or to fall into temptation and end in despair. First, write down your non-negotiables. What are the morals you will keep? What are the commitments you want to make? Write them on a slip of paper to keep in your wallet or in your cell phone. Review and read and pray over these often. If a soldier is going to go into battle, he needs to know that his enemy is out to get him. He must take precaution in order to win the battle.

Next, though, remember that God wants loyal children. Remember that believing in God, praying to Him, expecting Him to work is the secret to a life that will always have the grace to be resilient in any situation! Hebrews 11:1 and 6 informs us about faith—Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. A man who can hold fast, be patient, wait for God is indeed a man who God will use. “And without faith it is impossible to please God for He who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. When you trust in God’s resources, He will accomplish great things—kill giants, open pathways! Just keep believing!

This was the main part of what I shared with them–but I must stop now so the article won’t be too long!  Just one more thought, though. When I make time to celebrate life with my children and honor them as my treasured friends, it lays a foundation in their hearts that is also open to my influence.

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Such a time also happened with Joy this week. Last Monday marked Joy, who is my youngest, 13th birthday.Though we had been out of town for a conference in Florida for 5 days, we knew that it was a day to celebrate and acknowledge. Birthday breakfast and all that goes with it was lots of fun as well as a grill-out with friends that evening. But, every time our children turn 13, Clay and I feel we need to usher our children into young adulthood with our own personal time with them. A sweet friend of mine and her daughter went to an overnight at a hotel. (I had free points!) We treated the girls as lovely girls—a little package of lotion, a scrubbing mask, treats before dinner with candlelight, and chocolate cake and milk (all brought from home!) We shared dinner, shopping for a whole evening, swimming to top off the day.

The next day, we had a leisurely breakfast and then ended our time together with tea at a lovely café new to us. (It is in historic downtown Littleton, Colorado near Denver. Called Serendipi TEA Shoppe, and if you go there, please tell her you heard about her from us–a very sweet, lovely woman. ) We all donned hats and especially enjoyed the warm, crusty scones with clotted cream—delicious! The hours together provided time for great conversation, prayer and giggles. As the youngest, Joy has often had to compete with the older kids for attention. When we came home, she hugged me fast and said, “Mommy, you can’t even imagine how much fun it was to be with you all by yourself! I love you!


God bless you with “seize the moments”–moments all summer as you seek to sow seeds of righteousness in open hearts!

Sally

Sally@wholeheart.org

PS I cannot figure out how to answer comments as typepad is new to me! A sweet mom suggested that there are moms who think spiritual input should be left to the husbands. Look at Proverbs 8 and 9–Wisdom is always personified as a woman calling out to young men to live pure lives. Paul tells about Timothy’s mother and grandmother who taught him scripture. God used Esther to influence the King to protect the Jews. Proverbs 31 tells us that the teaching of wisdom is to be on the tongue of a godly woman. Clay married me because he loved my mission letters home. We have both felt that it takes both of us, all the time, whenever possible to breathe spiritual breath into the lives of our children. I am so privileged to be home during the daytime hours when all of my children’s friends are around. We have lots of people over for dinners at night when Clay can be there, but part of a woman’s strength is to pray and to civilize nations right from her home! May He bless your spiritual impact in and from your home!

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Family, Food, Marriage, Mothering, My Books, Our Family, Parenting, Tea

Remain Steadfast

May 27, 2008 by  6 Comments

Patience–the ability of bearing up under trials without complaining

When I travel and speak, whether in church venues, mom’s groups or homeschooling conferences, I often meet personally with women who want to share what is on their heart. I am often amazed at the loads that so many people bear. As a matter of fact, I see that so many of my beloved friends have a continuous stream of trials and difficulties in their lives. Clay and I also seem to have lots of issues in every season of life. At this juncture, I find myself dealing with health issues with several in my family (has been a constant over the last 20 years)–which always means lots of bills and doctor’s appointments. We also have big financial issues–with the ministry, with our children and with our home—new projects, book publishing, staff issues; cars, insurance,  and college and room and board, and summer projects and lessons issues with each of our older children as they attempt to make ends meet and we attempt to help them; family issues with our relatives;  and as our moms get older and on and on. Some of these areas of our lives have lived with us for many years without let up and often years of prayers have yet to be answered.

So, also, as I have lived life and observed the lives of those in Biblical times and my friends, I have indeed come to the conclusion  (many times!) that burdens are a part of living in a fallen world. With the immorality and lack of Biblical foundations, so prevalent in our culture,  finding companions and friends and appropriate life styles for our adult children has been an issue for them and for us. How we long to be able to see them settled with like-minded, spiritual companions, but it seems to be common with others their age that we meet all over the US. The falling economy and expenses of gasoline and the rising costs of food are an issue to everyone I know. This is reminiscent of the days of Christ when the Jews so struggled with the oppression of the Romans and their many taxes. Of course, some of the disciples (the zealots) were looking for immediate reprieve–a kingdom on earth. They wanted a “Shangrila” on earth.

I have been led in my own life, lately, to study the concept of
patience and steadfastness and perseverance. It has been so
enlightening to me personally. I will probably write more later, but
just thought I would put down a couple of things I have been learning.

First, I went to the passage about “God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him, and to those who are called according to His purpose.” The verse just after this indicates how God works things together, “For whom He foreknew, He predestined to become conformed to the image of His son.”

Working together for the good seems to be bound up in training us to be holy–(God disciplines us that we may share in His holiness. Hebrews 12:10) He clearly doesn’t not have the short term getting everything we want in mind–but our character–knowing that our ultimate happiness is dependent on our ability to love the  things that are eternal and really satisfy and learning not to depend on the temporary things that keep us from depending on the Lord.

I met with a young mom this weekend. She had been abandoned by her husband and left with three small children to raise on her own. Having been raised in a very conservative Christian family, she had been shocked by her divorce, having never considered that it would happen to her. Having been through almost ten years of fending for her own and seeking to make ends meet, she was at a new point of attempting to work at home, so that she could be with her children even more. However, it was her vibrant and resilient
spirit that drew me to her.

“I look back over the past few difficult years and am so thankful for my life. This journey has broadened my soul so much. I appreciate God’s love for me more; I have so much more compassion and understanding for other women who have struggled that I never had before; I have a broad-based ministry to moms like me that  is more than I could have imagined; and I feel like I really depend on those eternal blessings that really satisfy me and my children than looking to things and experiences to fulfill my life. God has indeed been good to me.”

Her beautiful, light-filled eyes and joy greatly blessed me. She saw God’s hand  and presence behind the burdens of her life. I am learning to see God’s shadow behind all that is in my life. He has used it all so faithfully over the years, but I did so need to see the eternal benefits of Steadfastness. A verse before I go. (Joy and I and a friend of mine and her daughter are going to an overnight in Denver to celebrate girl’s time together to celebrate her 13th! Shopping, giggling, eating together and swimming. Then Clay will take her out to bless her with a give me your heart talk and dinner date alone with the presentation of a beautiful ring while I am on my way to Sacramento!)

And may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ. II Thes. 3:5

Now, may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Jesus Christ. (May we encourage and give one another life-giving words of perseverance!) Romans 15:5
Love and grace to you all! I am off to enjoy chocolate cake with my sweet ones!
Sally
Sally@wholeheart.org

 

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Family, Joyful Life, Our Family, Ponderings

Practicing Believing in and Loving God

April 21, 2008 by  15 Comments

The past few days have been a little daunting to me. I am getting ready to go to Canada to speak in a few days. Joy has a leadership project that we will work on and present tomorrow night (including making cup cakes for those who attend.) We celebrated Nathan’s 19th birthday this weekend–with all the pressure of a birthday breakfast and presents–tonight we will have family over for dinner to celebrate the birthday dinner with them as they are close friends. Wednesday, Sarah and Joel are leaving for a long trip to Boston in search of some possible answers to a new college for Joel (if anyone has any spare room for prayers–please pray for God’s favor and grace for Joel as he pursues his dreams!) and need my help to get ready for the trip. I have to teach two Bible study classes tomorrow both for the encouragement of moms and then I have to teach 2 leadership classes  on Wednesday for the junior high children in my coop class. In the midst of this, everyone still wants to eat and wear somewhat clean clothes and I need to pack for the trip and finish preparing my talks for Canada and provide for my two children who will hold down the fort at home. Did I forget to say I am helping Sarah turn in some book proposals to publishers before she leaves on Wednesday. And, oh yeah– I guess I should at least acknowledge Clay and a few of his needs as I help him get ready for our trip. Not to mention financial issues we are struggling with, long range decisions for Nathan that have to be made this week and on and on. You get the picture! And  I know that each of you have lists of duties, worries and pressures to match mine!

I awakened early this morning with the stress and worry about all of these things and more. One thing I know, though, is that it is a familiar place to be. Every season of this journey has been fraught with ups and downs and demands. I have come to view my life as somewhat of an obstacle course never knowing what hurdle will need to be jumped, what mountain to be climbed or what path to be forged.

Yet, the advantage I have is that I have perspective. I have seen the Lord bring me through so many such courses. When I come into His presence and spend time in his word, He has been there for me–I didn’t always feel His presence, but I took His word and promises at face value and rested in them and then practiced taking steps of faith, one day, one issue at a time. And now I can look back and see that He has used each part of the journey to shape me–my character, my love, my humility and compassion and learning to rest in Him. But the more I have learned to put all of my issues into his hands (along with my feelings of loneliness, fear, weariness and deep emotion), I have learned to leave them there–with Him who is able and will accomplish His will in His time in my life.

These verses have been some of my anchors:

1. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  (I need heart  and mind guarding so that I don’t spend unnecessary energy and time on worrying–so I give it into His hands and picture him taking everything and working on my behalf as his daughter.)

2. “In this world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33b    The definition of courage is: the ability of facing difficulty, danger, fear or pain without being overcome by present circumstances and instead acting with resolve and strength of mind and behavior.   I have made a decision of my will to take courage–practicing being strong, practicing habits of putting one foot in front ot the other to believe in a good outcome from a Father who is good. Courage is believing and behaving as though God will indeed be faithful. These habits create a life of faithfulness which lays a foundation of a life well-lived and well-built.

3. “For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances and I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and having need. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” I have had to grow in character as I walk in God’s ways–to stretch my capacity to work, to stretch my capacity to love–to resist the down feelings and to learn to cultivate a content attitude and to practice being joyful in front of my children and family.

It has been through these things that I have had to grow up–but obeying the Lord in these places has made me more the person I wanted to be. Obedience usually leads me to peace and ultimate joy. I can indeed only do all that I have to do in the power of His Holy Spirit–not by might or by power–but by His spirit. I can, by faith, and by putting one foot in front of the other, do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I have told my children that it is best to decide to like and embrace God’s will–because having a bad attitude about it will not make it go away and indeed will make the pressures and circumstances worse. I have also noticed that bad attitudes or depressed feelings or content feelings behave much like plants in garden. If I water and nurture the depressed or negative attitudes they are what grow even stronger. If I water and fertilize faith and obedience, they are what grows.

I am a wimp at heart and was never prepared to have such responsibilities. I do think it helps all of us to know that we all feel overwhelmed and most moms never get the break they deserve. (That is why you brave and generous women are my heroines!) But I see that those sweet moms who find themselves able to persevere, to not remain in a complaining spirit, to trust God, are building in their homes wonderful souls who reflect the gold of their mother’s multiple decisions of faith in God’s word. These children are developing into great people and God knows it is because of the faithful labor of His precious mothers who knew that their labor would result in godly generations.

I must off to start on my list-but this is my prayer for all of you precious ones in the midst of your labors today: “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word.

II Thessalonians 2:16-17

Blessings,

Sally

Sally@wholeheart.org

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Family, Joyful Life, Our Family, Parenting, Trust in God

THE HOLIDAY TABLE

April 15, 2008 by  11 Comments

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.- Genesis 1:1

God, the artist created the heavens and the earth. Psalms tells us that the heavens are declaring His glory. He created a place worthy of our admiration and marvel. There are vibrant colors, pinks, fucias, purples, greens. There is texture–a puppies or kitten’s fur, rough rocks, gritty sand, cool grass to lie in. Smells–lavendar, roses, coffee, bacon cooking, cook grass to lie in. Sounds to enjoy-the rush of a waterfall, to lure of music, the growl of al lion. Movement to be experienced–dancing in the breeze, running swiftly in the sunshine, swimming in pools of water. Words to ponder–romantic phrases, inspiring exhaltatations, soothing and comforting and loving. Thoughts to think and ponder–scientific order and origins, computers, trains, cars to create, stories to touch the heart, psalms to lift our minds to heaven. There is no end to what we could think of to ponder the artistry of God.

In Romans 1: 20, we read that, “His invisible attributes, His eternal power and His divine nature” have been clearly seen through what was made, so that people are without excuse when they don’t believe in Him.

As we were reading this verse this week, a lesson about His design lived itself out before us! Two mountain jays continued to build a nest high in the tree outside of our window. A pesky squirrel creeped up to the nest as he adeptly climbed the tree to the top and was just about to pounce on the imagined eggs that are out of our sight. The two jays began squawking and swept down upon the squirrel and chased him through the yard. It was such a fun sight to behold. Joy commented that if even the birds take care to build a home for their eggs and then fiercely protect the precious eggs, that shouldn’t adults, made in His image, do even more!

As I have pondered this the past few days, I have thought that if God’s creation bespoke of His attributes, nature, and power, shouldn’t the composing of our own homes and crafting of the art inside our homes also speak of His artistry–His nature, His power, His attributes? Colors, sounds, textures, words, music, tastes–all alluring and beautiful and meaningful? The most important attribute, however, should be His diving nature–revealed through the way we live in front of our children. They should be surrounded with the oxygen of His love, thanksgiving to Him, energy to create and work, wisdom to share, –that every day, our children are confronted with the living God by the work of our hands and the labor of love we accomplish in His name and through His power inside of us. Our home life and atmosphere are what truly build excellence and intelligence and soul into the warp and woof of our children’s being–the daily investing by each moment lived in the presence and for the audience of our divine creator.

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Many years ago, I started having a “holiday” table–Actually, I do change centerpieces, put out a new array of books, change the front door entrance planter, and redo the coffee tables in my living room and den. But, I want my home to be an interesting, captivating, creative and colorful place. I use small lidded plastic boxes to put the decorations in–(the valentines box has numerous kinds of hearts that friends have given me over the years–some to hang, some candles, some glass trinkets’ the fall box contains some leaf and floral arrangements; July 4th box, red, white and blue stuff and a George Washington statue, etc. etc.)

At this point, though, I have what I call a holiday table, that is always changed first. It is the place where people always come in. I bought a large, old English antique hutch at a second hand store. It stands in our entrance hall. The top of the hutch makes a natural place to bring color and beauty in the welcoming part of our home. At Christmas, there is an old creche that my grandmother crafted with her own hands. At Easter, it is decorated with pussy-willows ornamented with delicate painted eggs hung with care, collected in markets in Vienna and Poland when we were missionaries.

This week, I decided to make it a blue table–with spring objects and pretties—a colorful plate with a finch surrounded by boughs of spring, bright blue flowers and a lovely glass maiden, as well as a wonderful dark blue tea pot and cups–just given to me as a surprise by an angel friend who graced me with a gift which completed a small set I had begun. Always on our tables and around the house are candles (always in glass so I don’t burn the house down!) and books displayed. I have a couple of lovely children’s poetry books that are displayed on every page with a classical piece of art. Great for spring display!

If our homes are filled with beauty and the shadow of God’s creativity, our children will not only hear the messages of our devotions and prayers, and school books, but they will breathe in the atmosphere of color, great tastes and smells, dancing music, great stories, loving hand rubs or back tickles and they will expand in their souls to understand that our God, the original artist and designer, is indeed worthy or our love and adoration–because they will know that He is the author of all things great and alive with His pleasure and blessing.

(Now to all of you wonderful moms–I would like to abuse you a little! Please forgive my taking advantage of you. Joel, my 21 year old, and Sarah, my almost 24 year old, are taking a trip to Boston next week. I was wondering if there would be any families along the way who would be willing to keep them in your home overnight! Clay and I would feel so much better knowing they were in good company and safe! They will be traveling toward Boston through Iowa and Illinois and then upward and coming back down on their way to Kentucky to visit my oldest friend who is almost like their own aunty–who lives in Earlington, Ky. If this sounds like an acceptable adventure to any of you, you can write me at Sally@Wholeheart.org or to Joel at jicmusicguy@gmail.com or Sarah at itinerantidealist@gmail.com. They also need a family to stay with in the Boston area. Thanks ahead of time for your loving and generous concern–it has been one of our greatest joys over the years to meet such wonderful friends as we traveled! You can hear some of Joel’s music and his newest composition by going to eucharisto.wordpress.com . The Night as Bright as Day is his newest composition. The picture on this website is when he and Sarah had just come out of a rainstorm and had caught a train in England where they worked last summer. A prayer or two for God’s guidance and favor in his life would also be appreciated! Aren’t I the pushy mom? :) )

Blessings to each of you today and grace in your moments!

Sally (Sally@wholeheart for those of you who have been asking for my personal email! I read everyone–but am often so busy with my daily life, I don’t get to answer all that I should, but I do read and pray for my sweet moms in cyberspace each day!)

Articles on this blog copyrighted 2008

Filed Under: Beauty, Bible Studies, Holidays, Home, Homemaking, Joyful Life, Nature, Prayer, Relationships

Moving from anger to joy

January 13, 2008 by  21 Comments

Just a short note and request. (Wednesday morning, January 16) I received a message last night that my dear oldest brother is being put into hospice and having the life support systems removed. He has had leukemia since May. I would so appreciate your prayers for our family during this time–that they would all be comforted and have a renewed sense of God’s love for them.–especially my sweet brother Bill and his wife who have been caring for my brother for 6 months in Texas. Also, please pray for me as I have to speak this weekend in Colorado–that the Lord would sustain and help me to stay focussed and that many women would be greatly blessed and have their hearts inspired and encouraged.  

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“Only a Christian has a right to hope, for only he has the power of God to give substance to his hope…Earth is bearable because there is hope.” A.W. Tozer

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews

“You seem to have such an utter enthusiasm for the Lord, it seems to just pour from your soul. The wisdom you have about God seems so unreachable for me. I am a mother of a two year old, a stay at home mom who plans to homeschool someday. I am a wife to my sweet husband. I am a daughter to the King. But for some reason, I just seem to be lacking the enthusiasm and wisdom that you seem to contain. I yearn for such excitement and knowledge of the scriptures. Honestly as a 30 year old woman, mother and wife, I am not sure how to get what you have.”

Several sweet women have written letters to me in the past few weeks who have struggled with learning what it means to walk with God, to know Him, to feel that He is relevant. In the midst of these letters, I have also seen a pattern of women feeling anger and disappointment in their hearts. Life does not measure up, it is stressful, disappointing. Sometimes the anger is more personally focused–anger with their children, husband, life, circumstances (miscarriages, finances, marriage, homeschooling, themselves, etc.) I think that it is so important to know that all of us experience anger and a sense of injustice–I have been good and tried hard to please you, Lord, and this is what I get?! Anger, I believe, comes from disappointed expectations. We expected life or a person to behave in one way and it surprises us by behaving in just the opposite way that we wanted it to or hoped that it would. We feel anger when we think we had the right to expect that life or a person would behave in that way and if it didn’t we get mad and feel justified in that anger. Anger can lead to depression and despair. There are many things in this fallen world that can oppress our spirits and tempt us to despair because the end results are not as we would hope or expect.

Several years ago, I had two miscarriages in one year, all of my three children at that time has pneumonia, chicken pox, ruptured ears and ensephalitis–all within two months! We had made a move to a very tiny town in Texas and I had no friends, Clay had no job and we were almost out of money. I was quite tired and danced with depression but was really seeking answers from the Lord. We lived with my mother-in-law at the time and going for long walks by myself was the only way I could get away to think and pray. Walking some days for 4-5 miles, I would review my life and think about so many things that were against us, and then I would pray.

One day, as I was walking and pondering, it was as if the Lord said to me, “Sally, if I took everything away from you that you hold dear, would you still believe in me?” It was suddenly as though God was shining a spotlight onto the deepest part of my soul, and I found at the very bottom of it, that with all the difficulties that a fallen world could throw at me, I would still rather hold on to my faith in God and believe in His love and goodness for the rest of my life, than to choose a life of existentialism and despair. But a realization came to me that this choice would require constant vigilance–that I would have to guard my heart and feed it with the truth of God’s word and His Constancy in my life.

A part of me realized that day, that faith was planting a flag, so to speak, in my heart, and deciding to settle it once and for all–that the rest of my life, no matter what, I would choose to believe in the Bible, that Jesus was real, that God was loving, no matter what! Faith was the assurance of things hoped for but not seen. Faith was choosing to hope–to place my hope–in Him–every day, acting on that faith and hope–and understanding that without this commitment of my will to choosing to believe and hope–I couldn’t be pleasing to God or sense His wisdom and hand upon my life.

I would look back on that day as a day which would determine my present and future walk with God–I would choose to believe the best, and act in light of what scripture said He was–loving, righteous, good, kind, wise, and so on. I would believe in light when I found myself in darkness. I would believe that love redeemed and was a perfect bond of unity, even when I was confronted with unloving, immature people

“as far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men.” Romans12:18—

Choosing to believe that God did listen to my prayers and that the prayer of a righteous person avails much–and that in His time, I would see eternal results–even if it wasn’t on my time schedule.

“Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open for you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks, finds and to him who knocks, it shall be opened. ” Matthew 7:7-8

I knew that if every time something difficult happened to me, I put God on trial again, that I would only be unstable and insecure in life–wondering and fearing when the next trial or danger would come my way. But I also had the sense that if I built my life on the foundation of believing in Him, sowing faithfulness and goodness, that I would reap the blessing of freedom and peace from sowing on true and eternal principles.

“Do not be deceived. God is not mocked.Whatever a man sows this will he also reap.” Galatians 6:7

I decided never again to go to the active place of doubt–that I would disregard it because of my once and for all commitment to believe in God, period. I pictured that in the same way that I made a promise that I would stay married to Clay and choose to love him unconditionally for all of our years–that divorce would never be an option–that I needed to picture my commitment to God like that–forever and final. The promise I had made of forever faithfulness to God that day would lead me to obey in my heart by looking at the flag I had planted on that day–every time my faith was tested. As I look back over the years, my commitment determined my behavior and always gave me direct instructions in which way to go–always to God, always to faith and always to obedience always to the word.

This did not mean that I would always have good feelings or not feel fear or doubt. The Psalmists give us a pattern of the anguish and sadness that life can bring. It is all right and normal to feel deeply sad, angry, disappointed and discouraged. God is the designer of our emotions and they serve a purpose. But, even in our emotions, we need to serve God and cultivate redemption and response to His will, by submitting our lives into his hands as Jesus did–not my will but yours be done.

The Role of Goodness and Beauty

We have this sense of beauty and goodness in our ideals because, I am convinced, we were made to experience excellence and perfection in every area by God’s design. Intuitively, we sense there is a better way, a better place, and a sense of justice knows that tells us in our heart that life should be fair. We were made for justice and peace and beauty—-and these shadows of reality lead us to hope for heaven–that place where we will not be disappointed. My deep longings become a platform for my hope for heaven. Paul and Peter depended on this hope, and it was so real to them, because they had experience Jesus face to face, and knew that their hope was founded on reality. It was their sure hope of heaven that gave them joy in this world.

So, my promise meant that I would act, in faith, in light of my commitment, and believe what I had learned from scripture was true. Along with that commitment, I redoubled my efforts at making a habit of giving God the chance to speak to me as often as possible by disciplining my life to have quiet times almost every day. Sometimes the quiet times would be great, sometimes they would be extremely short and sometimes I was dull and dead inside. But, I really have learned to turn my worries, and fears, one by one, to God and leave them there with Him. (Really, this is the reason I wrote the book The Mom Walk, because I wanted to encourage moms to understand more what it looks like to walk every day with God.)

I also began to understand that righteousness is something each person must grasp for. Only I knew how I cultivated faithfulness in my heart when no one else could see. Only I could choose to believe God every day. Only I could choose to be thankful and to observe the tangible beauty that He had place in my life for my own pleasure through creation. I was a conductress of my own symphony. I was responsible to cultivate all the good things in my family’s life together so that the tangible reality of God would seem more present–setting the tone of celebrating life by bringing color and music and beauty in every aspect of our home–gathering great, hopeful stories through books, cultivating great memories with friends through parties and Bible studies meals and traditions. Lighting candles in the darkness and playing music to lift our souls. I made the goal of cultivating goodness and beauty into the moments of our days, so that our living would reflect the reality of what we believed about God.

Literally years and years and hundreds and hundreds of hours have I invested in faith and hope. As a consequence, I have seen more and more how the Holy Spirit, as a spring of living water, fills my soul–at the least expected times–with the ability to go on one more day or one more hour. My perspective has changed and deepened–I have learned little by little to let go of the things my hands grasped for in this world, to open my heart to priorities which are eternal–to those things which will reap and experience as a reward in heaven. By sowing faith, I have reaped the knowledge of God’s love for me and a deeper understanding of His transcendence and humility. I have seen the Holy Spirit springing up through living waters in my heart–more peace and freedom from pleasing others, more joy at small gifts–a sunset, a hug, a friend’s kind words, a Sunday morning breakfast with all 6 of us laughing, discussing scripture, sharing in our close fellowship and belonging as a family. My life is more centered in Him and less in my preoccupation with myself–but it has come through many years of building little by little in this direction–amidst a lot of stumbling and getting back up.

Once someone became angry with me because she said that in my blogs and articles it seemed as if my children were perfect and hers were not. I don’t have to go very far to see all the flaws of my children, my husband or of me. And it would be easy for me to take credit for all of their failures, since I am their mother–and supposed to be responsible for training them. But instead of focusing on the bad, I have focussed on faith and potential which will someday be realized after years of praying and seeing God work–faith that God can take my honest offering of faith and hope–that He will make up for my deficit–that even though I don’t understand why so many bad things happen–I can know that He is stronger and bigger than all the “bad” and that in His time, He will redeem everything. I live by faith in His power and not in my own. I trust in His ability to reach my children–not in my own lack of strength. I give Him my best and then leave the results in His hand and wait for His timing. This relinquishing, however, is one minute at a time–choosing one detail of my life at a time.

Personalizing that Faith

For instance, my oldest brother is on the border line between death and life with leukemia. He had a bone marrow transplant in early September, but now has lost so much weight and has moved into a semi-conscious stage. One nurse said it would be a huge miracle if he recovered from this. I have slowly processed these sad issues from afar–little by little. Simultaneously, Joy was experiencing some digestive problems so I decided to take her to the doctor to see if he could get to the root of the problem. He took a blood sample. Unexpectedly, Joy’s blood levels of her white cells were at the same level of a leukemia patient–very, very low. Possibilities of Mono, Epstein bar, an internal infection, and worse. This all just happened on Thursday and Friday of this week. So yesterday morning, as I was driving in my car alone to meet Sarah for breakfast, the whole issue of leukemia and what had happened to my brother came upon me. I momentarily went through a “Oh, God, I don’t know if I could bear to lose Joy. I cannot take more at this moment. Please, please don’t let it be bad.” And the sadness of some of the areas of our recent life came upon me. (the shootings and death of the two homeschool girls, my brother, our two mothers who are suffering in the senility and fragility and dissipation of old age, etc.)

But, because of habit, I turned my heart over to the Lord and gave the results of these issues into His hands. “Help me to trust you and to have perspective, Lord. Give me your words and your grace. Let me have peace in my heart.” In the next few minutes, scripture after scripture came to my mind–Elijah resurrecting the widow’s sick son, Jesus healing the little girl who had died; then my own life–almost dying of pneumonia 4 times in one year when I was Joy’s age.” I remembered God’s faithfulness through Sarah’s 7 years of being ill, of my own near death experience through a miscarriage when I hemorrhaged. In all of these times, he had carried us through. I remembered that He loved Joy and me more than I could imagine. I knew that whatever we found from the doctors, He would still be omnipotent and present. One worry at a time.

By the time I exited the freeway, to meet Sarah, I had placed my heart and my issues into His hands, realizing that Sarah needed me to be at peace and happy to be with her. By taking the responsibility of responding to His promptings, I had a blessed and wonderfully encouraging time with Sarah and emotional stability the rest of the day. It is not as simplistic as it sounds–but it is a process and habit I have learned as a way of life as I talk with Him all day!

(By the way, I just received a call from the doc and they said, “Amazingly, her blood counts are 1500 to 1700 higher and we no longer see the evidence of mono or hepatitis–her liver is clear and all of her counts are looking very healthy–so we have a different situation today!” I am so very grateful, of course, and think the Lord is strengthening her, but is also made me be more vigilant to supply her with lots of nutrients that she will need to go with us on all our trips the next few months.)

I bought some daffodils and went home to serve Joy and her friend a breakfast for princesses–candle light, fruit smoothies with whip cream, cinnamon toast on wheat bread, and scramble cheese eggs–at the girls’ request. Beautiful instrumental music adorned the moment, and as we thanked God together for the breakfast, I blessed the girls and thanked God or giving such wonderful princess of His making and of beauty of soul. It was one more memory of delight and joy stored up in these girls’ lives, which will be there for them to go to in any difficult times they face ahead.

I won’t find out the final results of Joy’s further blood tests until Monday or Tuesday, but I have put it all back in the laboratory of heaven, where God will direct and chosen to live life today in peaceful celebration of one more day to live for Him.
A final heart step, though, is humility. Unless I understand and acknowledge that God is God and has a right to work in my life in whatever way he would, I will find myself shaking my fist at Him. Two people cannot rule at one time. If we are going to really know and follow God, we have to humbly give Him permission to do whatever He wants to do. Even as Jesus recited Psalm 22 from the cross–my God, my God why have your forsaken me?” All the Jews knew the next passage–”Yet, you are holy! Indeed in you our fathers trusted.”

In other words, “You are the King, you know what you are doing. You rule and I bow the knees of my heart to your rule.”

May the peace of the Lord be with all of you and may He bless you this week with a sense of His faithful love!

Sally

PS One of the deep pleasures of my life is reading Sarah’s writing. She wrote a blog yesterday related to ideals in a fallen world at Itinerant Idealist. I think you will really be encouraged by it!

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Family, Joyful Life, Our Family, Ponderings, Prayer, Siblings, Trust in God

Perspective on December 26th

December 26, 2007 by  8 Comments

 

Carl Larsson

This morning, I lay in bed an extra thirty minutes after I awakened, dreading a little what lay ahead—the taming of the house from the aftermath of celebration. I feel a little like the toad in Wind and the Willows when he took the wild ride in a car he didn’t know how to maneuver, creating a bit of havoc along the way, and now the price had to be paid.

Our Christmas was filled with great family time, hilarious laughter, a few bad attitudes and bah humbugs, feastings, and lots of snow! No matter how hard we as moms try, there are still sinners in the house, but also, redeemed, and all in all, with grace extended, we made it!

I walked down the stairs to survey the damage—wrapping paper and Christmas bags that needed to be put away. Mugs with hot chocolate residue, piles of the kids’ gifts in their own corners, a full laundry basket, and dishes soaking in the sink from left over spinach casserole and brisket.

I made my morning cup of tea, proceeded to my bedroom and pushed all small messes in my room out of my sight from my quiet time chair, lit a couple of candles and plugged in my one strand of Christmas lights above my window, and slowly sipped my warm brew.

I had inserted an instrumental, Celtic hymns cd and sought to bring peace to my soul. The first song that gently filled my silent room brought inviting lyrics to my mind, “Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling, calling for you and for me, …, Come home, come home, you who are weary, come home.”

What a loving, gentle call to me as a busy mom this snowy morning. Jesus wants to meet with me to love me, to give me peace, to give me perspective. He, who is my home, is waiting for me and will be with me.

I then opened up a little devotional book that I read most mornings which has bits of scripture for each morning and evening. There, right in front of me were His words of life to sustain me,

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.” I Cor. 15:58

He knows about my work as a mom! He lovingly reminded me that my toil is not in vain. He understands how much I need to be encouraged because He understands weariness—Be steadfast—hang in there—commit to a heart of steadfastness, choose to be steadfast and immovable—why? Because, my work matters, it is changing history, one life at a time—I am soul-building—it counts.

The next verses struck my heart, “And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we will reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9

“Don’t lose heart, Sally, I see you, I know you, and I promise that all those prayers you have been praying, all the choices of faithfulness you have made when no one else saw, I saw. You will reap a harvest. Remember, I see you and I love you and I am waiting always to speak loving words to you, because you are my own daughter.”

He had tenderly, earnestly called me to himself this morning. My piles and duties and responsibilities, have not changed, but once again, after being in His presence, I am changed. I will turn on music while I work, and I might even dance a bit around my messy kitchen! My words will be softer and my actions more patient, because He has filled me and given me courage. I can rejoice because He is here, He has met me and will be with me. Yet, I see that my heart and joy and tone establishes the whole family in joy, and my celebrating life in the midst of it all, creates in them a willingness to follow my lead.

With Mary, his own courageous, steadfast mother, I will say, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my savior.” Luke 1: 46-47

May His peace be upon you today.

Blessings and grace,
Sally
Sally@wholeheart.org

Filed Under: Beauty, Bible Studies, Family, Holidays, Home, Joyful Life, Music, Our Family, Ponderings, Tea, Trust in God

Tragedy–the pathway to Triumph

December 10, 2007 by  13 Comments

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:4-7

Dear Sweet Moms,

I greet you this December day in the spirit of the kindness and love of our precious Lord. He pours out His abundant love and grace each and every day. He, as a good Father, wants us to be heirs of His glory and blessing. Above all, we have hope in this life—hope that He knows us, guides us, will bring us safely home into His presence where we will see Him face to face and be filled with His joy. We also have freedom from guilty or anger or inadequacy because of His provision, abundantly given through the Holy Spirit.

Yesterday, our family readied ourselves for church on a cold, 9 degree morning. Wondering if the roads would be okay to travel because of the snow the night before, we left early enough to be able to make the trek slowly.

A wonderful time of worship focused all of us on the eternal attributes of the Lord—His kindness, mercy, love, grace and sovereignty, through music. Our hearts were filled with anticipation. We all sat quietly to hear the message God had put on the heart of the visiting speaker, a wonderful older man of God. His heartfelt message pointed us to have a soft heart to be able not just to know, but to really hear the message of God coming to the world to bring hope and redemption.

As the service ended, we lingered in the foyer to greet friends, to rest in the atmosphere of peace that we all sensed from such a heartfelt message. Finally, five of us gathered to meet family friends for lunch. As we left the busy church parking lot, we passed Nathan, our son, who waved energetically as he drove off to meet with some other friends for lunch.

Within minutes of our departure, a gunman began to shoot wildly into the crowds where we had just been lingering in peace. One of my dear friends, the mother of one of Joy’s best friends, the leader of our homeschool support group of 600, was driving away with her husband, two of her daughters and a young woman who lived with them. The gunman turned toward them, shot directly at their family. The side passenger windows were immediately shattered as glass sprayed everywhere. The front window then exploded. And as the bullets sprayed into their small sedan, the seats were ripped and torn, and my friend realized that she was hit.

Her husband raced out of the parking lot, and without turning back, went hurtling toward the emergency room of our local hospital. Though the sadness of such a tragedy filled all of us with heavy hearts, we praise the Lord for the amazing miracles that He did perform. Amazingly, my friend only had a minor wound as the bullet tore straight across the top of her shoulder. How could six rounds of bullets discharged at fairly close range actually miss killing or severely injuring any of their family members, hitting the upholstery instead of the girls huddled in the back of a small car.

So far, three lives came to an end violently yesterday at our church.
We spent the rest of the day as a family praying, pondering, comforting and seeking the Lord.

“He was despised and rejected by men, A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief,…, Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, But he was wounded for out transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities, The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.”
Isaiah 53: 4-5

Jesus came as a “man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” He bore the iniquity of us all—even of the madman of yesterday—out of His redeeming love. He came to grant us hope and peace. The message of Christmas this year, will mean more than ever. We are not a people left alone, to struggle with the rages and rampaging devastations of the sin alone. No, our message is that we have a transcendent God, ruler of the universe, who because of his incomprehensible love, has made a reconciliation for all times, for all people for all the evil that will exist during the short time we are alive on this earth.

As we talked until almost midnight, all of our children seemed to communicate as if from one heart. This incidence makes clear that they all want to be more intentional about giving His generous love, and forgiveness and grace to those who so desperately need hope. Each said that they wanted to find their place in God’s kingdom work. Each bowed their heart before the Father, asking for His power to live faithfully for Him.

The newscasts will focus on the tragedy. Yes, we indeed need to keep those precious families who will feel so much pain and grief as they live this Christmas without their beloved ones in our prayers.

Yet, I see the mighty hand of God at work. I see Him catalyzing an army of His children, in the ponderings of what really matters in life, to ready themselves to fight more valiantly in the battle raging in this world—the battle for righteousness for His sake for His kingdom, and the battle for the allegiance to Him in the hearts of our children. Though the enemy seeks to destroy and kill, our confidence is secure—“Greater is He who is in us than He who is in the world. He has overcome the world.” May we continue boldly in the spirit of over-coming. May the Savior Himself speak to your heart in the deepest places during this season of celebration of the meaning of His coming— the true significance of His sacrifice, and the joy of His resurrection of our lives beyond the limited time and space of our world—into the eternity that we will spend with Him in the place He has lovingly created for us where we will truly be at home! Blessings of His peace to you this December day.
Love and grace,
Sally

In light of this event, I find I am so galvanized to teach the Word of God, to encourage, to help you precious moms in the coming conferences. We pray for all of you who will attend, that you will know your strategic places in the realm of history as you invest your days in your homes for His glory! I hope that many of you will be able to be with us at our mom’s conferences this year.

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Family, Friends, Prayer, Relationships, Trust in God

Spiritual Depth takes time!

October 14, 2007 by  20 Comments

Recently, I spent a couple of hours with a dear friend. At the end of our time, she asked, “Sally, do you ever feel lonely? I mean lonely for a friend who really has your heart and love and passion for life. I have so many friends, but I don’t really have friends who seem to have quiet times and who share with me what they are learning from the Lord. No one really initiates praying together. Very few of my friends have ideals for their lives. I long for deep, spiritual friendships and companions.”

Have you ever felt that way? I have. As a matter of fact, I used to feel like I was too much for people and still in many groups I feel like I have to hold back and not really expose myself. God made me a passionate person and I must live life with gusto–it is who I am. Yet, I have a very few friends who I know, when I am with them, that will share deeply, talk about ideas and scripture and what they are learning or care deeply about. I have, for so many years, felt lonely and longed for fellowship personally and for our family. We have loved the depth of life and fun and spirituality we have shared as a community of family, but it has been difficult to find like-minded matches for our family, and often for the individuals of our family. I think this is a more common problem than many think, because I hear it a lot.

Yet, I do have several friends with whom I can totally be myself. But even more, I know that when I am with them, my emotional and spiritual cup will be filled. Every time I am with these three or four friends, I know I will leave wanting to be a better person, cultivating deeper faith in my life, living more boldly for the Lord, enduring in my work for His kingdom and we usually share lots of giggles and opinions that we are free to share with each other because of our bond. My special friends who are this way are spread out all over the country and I don’t often get to see them, but I cherish them in my heart. I meet others along the way in which I share this kind of relationship and am always grateful, though, I meet them along the way and they are not a part of my “regular” circle, in which I have had lots of time to log together. But I appreciate this kind of friendship because the effect on me is that it thrusts me in the direction that I long for in my soul, and always makes me want to love God more and to be more worthing of such love. It feels good to know that I can be myself and to have personal encouragement and validation. Friends can make friends feel good!

I think that longing for eternal things is a gift from the Lord. As a deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after you, Oh, Lord. I didn’t always see it this way, because many of the years of my life and moves, I have felt deeply lonely and longing for a friend to recipricate. Yet, I see now that I can turn this longing to the Lord and it is where He meets me. These longings are sometimes shadows of what we can glimpse in this world, but will not fully experience until heaven. Longings speak to us of what we can expect in heaven. But it is these very longings that have taken me to Him. He is there, giving me perspective, teaching and talking into my heart.

Sometimes just being caught up in the “busy-ness” of life, can leave my soul empty and my feelings dry. However, we cannot pass on to our children deep, sincere love and pleasure of God, if we haven’t drunk deeply from His well ourselves. Again, I am not talking about you or me becoming more religious–but truly more relaxed, honest time with the one who made me and knows me. God is like us or perhaps, more truthfully, we are like Him. He is a God of relationship. He longs for our companionship and trust and deepest thoughts and cares. Hard to imagine, but He, in the midst of running the universe, was walking the the cool of the garden in the middle of the day, looking for fellowship with Adam and Eve. I am in the process of studying David’s life and see that David had inner eyes in His heart, that saw God, and thought His thoughts and valued His ways. He loved and revered Him. God was a reality in the moments of His celebrations, the tears he shed on his bed during times of despair, the one who gave His warrior soul strenght through His battles. He was a man after God’s heart, because He was a man who lived in the present moment with God.

With David, this did not mean spiritual piety in the sense that he “acted religiously” and spoke with stilted words in an affected voice. No, he was a man of bear and lion killing, warrior-ing, dancing, feasting and blessing, singing and eating–a friend beloved by his many fellow soldiers. A real, live, man of many dimensions.

God does not want you to carve out a few insipid moments to say words to Him. He wants your fullness of personality and life. God made me, as I am. I make lots of mistakes. I am visionary and passionate and love people, but still get tripped up over simple issues like messes. Martha is lurking at the door of my heart many moments when I just need everyone to “Get work done!” But there is a Mary side that really longs for the reality of God and sometimes she is reigning. I have great insights and great failures. My kids and husband know me in all of my glory and lack thereof! However, there is a life inside of me, that keeps me going. It is indeed a well of living water springing up in the moments of my despair when I feel the darkness lurking again in my soul’s emotions.

However, I do not see this side of many friends. Frankly, I think that it is because many of the precious moms I know are busy with their own children and lives and you have to have time with people in order to be able to get into a good conversation. I, also, have been lonely for those who know the spiritual hunger that drives me. I love to hear the depths of people’s hearts and fellowship with them there, in the places where life really matters. But this kind of life only happens for those who seek Him–those who make the seeking of Him their life’s goal–the pleasing of Him their fondest wish. There is a dimension of living that only comes from being there in His presence, daily, weekly, monthly, for years and years. The more years that I have spent reading His word, the more often His word comes to my mind throughout the moments of my days. Seems to me, though, that when I am with someone who is pretty deeply spiritually connected, I can almost spot it right away–not so much because they say spiritual things, but usually this kind of person is involved in reaching out to others, encouraging and self-sacrificing a fun and outreaching friend. It is obvious to me that they are not the center of their own lives. They have had to make some decisions along the way that they will not have hurt feelings, though they could; they have decided that they have a stewardship from the love of God to help and reach out to others—a giving spirit, one who is generous in life, is a sign of one who is connected to God–because that is what He is like. It is in just being with them, that I can tell they “get” God.

I am teaching 2 middle school age speech classes. My main goal for these kids is to help them to learn to be communicators–to realize that all speech–whether to a friend, a co-worker or to a group–has the power to give life, to encourage, to instruct, to inspire or to tear down, poison, discourage. Yet, words are only powerful if they are spoken or written. So many that I know, don’t take the time to verbally encourage or to write a note to someone they appreciate or to open up to a friend the very deepest things that are on their heart. Probably the thing I most value most in a person is one who takes initiative or calls or invites me over or in some way reaches out—because it is just a part of who they have decided to be as they have become a mature person.

There are so many times when all of us are weary and I have to say that many years in a row I have to battle being down. But, as I studies the Israelites, I saw how God disciplined them for complaining and for not having faith. When we are weary, we need rest and we need to look for fellowship. But eventually, we must let God strengthen us and decide to be joyful, because it is the only way to be able to cultivate faith and to endure the moments of our lives with grace—but we have to learn to hold on to hope for what is to come.

When we stay in the self-centered position, we ignore the needs of others and become even more depressed. Being ignored or feeling invisible is a very painful and difficult thing for a person to feel and I see that so often, and have felt it at times. However, if someone would just say a word, give a card or send an email, so many who long for love, would be encouraged. I see passivity and lack of outreach as comparable to the person who buried his talent in the ground. Eventually, even the little he had was taken from him. Don’t be passive in relationships–either at home or within your own community. Everyone you know needs to know you care. I have never known of anyone who had too much encouragement.

One of my speech classes is very talkative and funny and engaged and loud. I can manage them because they have spunky spirits. However, the other class is extremely quiet. Self-consciousness and fear of failure makes this class more difficult to motivate. It is hard to motivate those who will not respond or perhaps are a little too self-absorbed. I have spent time in self-absorption but have come to realize that eventually it only leads to my own alienation from others.

I have learned over the years, that if I want fellowship with women, I most often have to make it happen myself. I have to start a Bible study or a once a month fellowship group. I have to open our home. I have to invite friends to lunch or go to a mom’s group. Sometimes I have come home from these meetings feeling lonelier than ever. But I have found that if I hang in there, a friend or a few friends will rise to the top and slowly, I will begin to enjoy fellowship. Yet, most often, I have had to initiate. I have just learned to accept this and not resent it. It has been the same for my kids and for our family our whole history. Yet, Jesus modeled initiation for us–while we were yet sinners, he died for us. While we were going our own way, he intervened into our world to provide love and grace and healing.

Some ideas we have initiated in the past is a once a month mom’s tea group. I used to have just a couple of mom’s over for a hot mug of tea, hot chocolate or coffee, while all the kids played outside. Once I was in a group that met at a local coffee shop once a month, which gave all of us a break. I have a once a month group in my home now and we are going through the Mission of Motherhood. There are about 80 on our roster, but usually 35-50 come each month and they come at 6:30 and often the last person is walking out the door around 10. We have snacks that different women bring and have a great time together. We always have Christmas teas for different moms and daughters. Christmas parties, fall festivals, book clubs, girl’s group, harvest party. Our home is a center for life. We have few relatives, and those we have, are not near by or really have much to do with us on a regular basis, so we have had to keep reaching out just to keep finding fellowship.

The greatest value of all of these efforts, which do not always produce close friends, is that I have built my own, very deep friendship with Sarah, and Joy in the midst of it. They are so interesting and engaged in the things that I love to talk about. Joel and Nathan are soul-filling friends with whom I love to have time alone. They care about deep ideas and what matters in life. Though I had to wait for this kind of friendship for many years, (except for with Clay) it was through the dinner table discussions that Clay and I cultivated, the one on one tea times in my room, the traveling and working together as a family, that slowly built those heart connections that now give me the fellowship I always longed for. Nurturing my own family has ended up giving me the gift of friendship and depth of intimacy I wanted for so many years, but never managed to always have. It is so important, in this isolationist world, when everyone is at break-neck speed, to make the time to invest personally, to take initiative to encourage, and to really seek to be a friend, so that the community from which God meant for us to take strength and comfort, will be there to help carry us through all the seasons of our lives. In is in the keeping of friendships, in and out of our home, that the strength of Christianity will be felt in our world.

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Education, Family, Friends, Home, Homemaking, Hospitality, Joyful Life, Ministry, My Books, Our Family, Relationships, Simplicity, Trust in God

Fret Not

June 27, 2007 by  9 Comments

I love these early mornings. Clay and I sleep with our windows open and in the early morning, cool breezes fill our room, inviting us to snuggle under our covers for a few more delightful moments. (Where we live in Colorado at 7500 feet, no one has air conditioning!) I can’t even remember a summer when I have been home so long or traveled so little, let alone sleep in until 6:30 or 7:00. During these moments, when I am awaken, feeling that I am the only one in the whole house who is awake, I have cherished my alone “in thought” moments. It seems sometimes, these are the moments when the Lord brings verses to mind and speaks to my heart. Yesterday morning, these thoughts sprang to my mind, so I thought I would take a few moments to write them down.

“Fret not, it leads only to evil doing.” Evil doing sounds bad–like robbing a bank, committing adultery or murdering someone. Yet, David clearly exhorts us 3 times in Psalm 37 to fret not! When I am fretting, I am putting lots of effort into worrying about something that might happen–(fear!)–or worrying about a problem that is in my face but doesn’t seem to have a good possible ending or isn’t going away (doubt in God, in His goodness and in His ability to take care of a situation.) Now, I am a practiced fretter–especially in the area of patience. I really wonder at God’s timing. I really often have a lot to tell Him about how I think He should be running my life. Maybe if I fret a little bit more passionately, He will work more quickly! And there are so many things about which to fret–finances–always! The kids’ futures–jobs, spouses, lives, choices. Our ministry–conferences, book deadlines, articles, Clay’s stress and pressure, staffing needs. And on and on.

Fret not–don’t worry–it will lead to evil doing. In what way? Fretting leads me to believe that I have the solution to my problems. Fretting leads me to doubt God and His providence in my life. Fretting can lead to frustration and anger and accusations and distraction and depression—all of which effect our relationships and actions and health.

Is there an example in the life of Christ to show me what David meant about what it looked like to fret not? Peter, Jesus’ friend and disciple, saw Him during His most difficult moment on earth. Jesus had been abandoned by all of His precious disciples–leaders–in whom He had been building faith for three years. He was being mocked by the Roman soldiers and Pharisees—those who were supposed to be most holy and most committed to His reality. He was being beaten, spit upon, unjustly treated and wrongly accused–being prepared to die the worst kind of death. Peter must surely have had these moments cemented into his mind, since it was at these moments he had denied three times that he had even known Jesus. If there was ever a time to fret, to worry, to fear, to wonder about the reality of God’s goodness, (my God, my God, why hast though forsaken me?), it was this time.

Yet, in his first book, Peter tells us, while being reviled, he did not revile in return. While suffering, he uttered no threats, but (and here is the secret and the choice He willingly made!) He kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.” I Peter 2:22-23. There it is–Jesus entrusted–gave the whole of His being and well being into God’s hands and trusted Him with the results. It almost insinuates that Jesus hardly noticed the attacks raging around Him. Entrust yourself to God, Sally!

What does David suggest I do instead of fretting? “Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness” Plant seeds of faithfulness, water them, nurture them, build a whole crop of this faithfulness! This indicates a choice of my will–decide to be faithful and then keep working on being faithful!

He goes on, “Delight thyself in the Lord” Make God my joy, my pleasure, my hope. “And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him (Ugh–again–wait?!) Seems He makes me practive faithfulness and waiting a lot, like it is an expected action of life for a faithful person.

Did Peter have anything else to say about this concept from his letter that would shed light on my need to fret not, and instead trust God?

“In the same way, you wives be submissive to your own husbands.” (Now, God is getting personal—did he mean this husband? This circumstance? This time?) and then He goes on to say, “Let not your adornment be external, but let it be the hidden person of the heart, (the place where no one but God sees!) with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. So, fretting not, involves the hidden places of my heart where I make a decision about how I will handle my pressures, circumstances and responsibilities. How is a spirit gentle and quiet?–when it has ceased trying to control, manage and take control of the circumstances.

God is transcendent–outside of time–able to see the behind and before–He has already planned to be with me and available to me every step of the way. He has a plan, but I have a choice to make–to rest in that plan, to accept the limitations of this husband, child, family or life circumstance and to rest in the trust that I have of God’s ownership of my life and times–or to rather worry, fret, beg, stew, advise–and finding more strife, emptiness and frustration. This is what is precious in His sight–my loyalty, deep inside every day, when He knows what trusting Him costs me, and how hard it was to trust, but whether I made the decision to abandon it all unto Him or choose to fret about it for a few more days. Let me choose to dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness today—no matter the issue, the relationship or the problem.

So, when I finally rolled out of bed, the Holy Spirit had already initiated a day for me–a day in which I needed rest, entrust, be patient and cultivate faithfulness. He was speaking to me from those very verses I had memorized as a youth–His voice already had a vocabulary built into my heart. Did He already know my computer server would be down for two days, that I couldn’t get letters from Sarah and Joel? (I really am tempted to whine and fret when I don’t get those expected emails from my sweet ones!) Get big bills from the May birthdays and mission trips prep and graduation and, and, and–oh yeah—gentle and quiet spirit–stop fretting, it leads only to evil doing! and so a new day, a new lesson, and a new understanding of just how patient God is with me, His child , who doesn’t always get it right at first, but is learning to listen!

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Joyful Life, Ponderings