I Take Joy | Lifegiver

The Secret to Making it to the end of December without blowing apart

December 16, 2012 by Sally 22 Comments

The Cup of Tea ~ Mary Cassatt

I am reposting from a couple of years ago. But as I was rereading this post, it spoke to me. This week has added stress to an already very stressful season with the shootings and economy and so much more.

But the essence of this post is still so true. We must guard our health–mentally, spiritually and physically, and see that we do not run dry, or else we will crater. Even today, I decided to lay down for 15 minutes and just seek peace because I needed that more than I needed to keep pumping more adrenalin into my body from so much to do.

So, today, instead of mentoring Monday, I offer you the admonition to take care of yourself today, say no to something, sit down and listen to some music for 5 minutes with a lit candle–just find a way to decide to walk this week with peace.

Dear Sally,
HELP!!!!!!!!
Love,
A Mom

Dear Mom,

I have said and felt a need for help so very often and so I offer you my best advice. First of all, chill out. Take a little time for yourself until you can get perspective. I hope something I say may help. I have had to learn that no one else in the world will be responsible for my over-all well being. I have a husband and children who need me, and as I have said before, they are going to want to continue eating every day and want to wear relatively clean clothes, with the expectation that I will be the one to keep this going. However, there are times I run out of soul-fuel and have to stop it all to refuel the tank of my heart, soul, mind and body.

As we all know, if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. So, I have to tend to my own happiness and well being and you need to tend to yours.

I am responsible for my rest, my quiet time, my eating and exercise, filling my cup, so that it will not be empty when others want to keep taking and taking from me–and I am also the manager of my my chill time. Laughing and lightening up really brings health to the bones. (A joyful heart is good medicine has been proved by the medical research1) I do have countless emails in my inbox vying for my attention, and people expecting to hear from me, but I know that I will never get to them all, even if I wish I could–never, ever, but it is God’s will for me to survive with grace.

And there are tasks calling my name around the house, but I have become the queen of turning my head away and trying to stick to my most important priorities. I have found that there will be just as many things screaming for my attention tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

But today, I know that my body and mind need a little rest and my emotions become frayed and I become grumpy if I don’t create a little break. No one else is going to tell me when I have reached my limit. But if I do not monitor myself, my children and husband and I will come to regret it when I blow! I am a steward of my limitations and body. If I don’t protect my walk with the Lord, it will get eaten up in everyone else’s agenda.

Though still learning, I am always simplifying and evaluating if something is worth the effort–(I do think that making things beautiful and special during the holidays are worth the effort as it builds the taste and values and work ethic and ministry skills of my children–but all in its season, and only so much.

Not everything “we have always done before,” has to be done. Fast food with candles lit is just fine. But it may not be worth it to answer one more phone call or one more email–as this will certainly steal from my children and husband who need me today. Sometimes, I have even been known to hide from my children. It made me smile.

Each of us has a different puzzle and different personality and we must accept our limitations within our own story and be comfortable being ourselves. There is great freedom in deciding to enjoy who I am, as I am not going to essentially change any time soon! I see so many moms seeking to live up to other’s expectations and ideals and then burning out in the process. I have high work times, and times when I just can’t get anything done–and somehow the world does not crash when I take time to just live and enjoy, and avoid the “I have to do everything or I will be a failure” syndrome.

It is why I have my cup of tea every day–a way of saying, “I will take time for a moment of pleasure and peace, because it centers me, and I have decided I will last a lot longer in this very long distant race, if I build anchors of serendipity into my schedule.”

If you and I don’t eventually make peace with our own life circumstances, then we are in danger of cultivating a heart of bitterness, inadequacy, guilt or whining, or possibly blowing apart into oblivion. But if we become the conductors of our own life symphonies and live within our own melody of life, we will last longer more gracefully with the God of grace who leads us.

Spend time in God’s word and let Him love you and you love Him back. He came for you–he came to comfort. Let His comfort be yours. You cannot find peace without the prince of peace.

Take time to regroup today–Go eat some chocolate, and don’t feel guilty as you are eating it–that is a waste of good chocolate! Listen to some beautiful music, watch a heart-warming movie, take a nap, eat off of paper plates! The rest of December is still coming and you will be the better for it! I’ll be praying for you!

Love,
Sally

Filed Under: Holidays, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Ponderings, Simplicity

Playing the part of provider to bring life and beauty!

November 16, 2012 by Sally 11 Comments

Wisdom has built her house, She has hewn out her seven pillars,
She has prepared her food, she has mixed her wine,
She has set her table, …,
“Come eat of my food. And drink of my wine I have mixed.
For sake your folly and live,
And proceed in the way of understanding.” Proverbs 9:1-6

I am getting mommy excited about next Tuesday. My youngest, precious one, Joy, will come home from her first semester at college. She has sustained the 3 months alone without one visit and we have been constantly chatting and planning and sharing hearts so much that it feels like the last few days before you give birth–just biding your time until the momentous occasion comes. As a result, I have been looking at some old pictures and drawing up old memories and here is one of them–our fall apple picking and putting away for the winter. We missed it this year with Joy gone and us traveling too much.

But I had so much fun remembering, I thought I would share our memory with you! Getting into the mood for cooking a feast for all of my children and special others who will be with us!

Below a story of life from 4 years ago–hard to believe the time flew!

Yesterday we had a great sermon–one of four–which addressed the reality of heaven. I loved hearing that in heaven we will eat and drink and feast and have gardens and rivers and beauty and celebration and singing–only it will be in a perfect and wonderful place–called paradise–even more wonderful than anything we can see or imagine here.

I like knowing these things. It makes me think that when I prepare these thousands of meals that I am providing a little heaven on earth–an imperfect picture here of what real celebration and living will be there! I think that one of my delights over the years, which has grown as I have become better at it, is providing life-giving meals and memories for my family. Wisdom (I love it that wisdom is personified as a woman!) sets her table and provides wonderful food and in the midst of serving, calls those she serves to wisdom, understanding, love and righteousness. I am convinced that we have done more discipleship over meals than any other way!

As the old saying goes, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, but I think there is some truth to it, only applying to all people! Even Wisdom knew as much. Though there are so many things that reach and touch our hearts, I do think that the dining table can become the place of so much spirituality. At least it has for our family. Clay and I talk to our sons Joel and Nathan several times a week. Though both are thriving where they are, both have mentioned often missing our family. And when I asked them what they missed the most, it is as Joel and Nate said, “It’s the great food and the meal time discussions that I miss the most–just being together like that as a family.”

I would have to agree that these moments (and there are thousands of them) have held celebrations, devotions, discussions, funny stories, jokes, laughter, songs, correction (How many times have I told you–use a fork–not your fingers!) and sharing our hearts together.

God designed us to eat, but the time spent eating in warm fellowship, giving words of love and affirmation, challenging ideas with a meaningful quote to discuss or bringing and insightful article to the table to read together makes the moments that we spend in delightful fellowship feasting, a discipleship moment!

Just thought I would include a recipe from a most recent Sunday breakfast meal. Though we try to have devotions as a family, as our children became older and had their own cars, jobs and activities, we could barely get everyone together at once, but we could almost always get everyone together on Sunday morning. So many years ago, even when they were young, I got up early to make a great Sunday morning breakfast. Some of our favorites include home made whole wheat cinnamon rolls–(and yes, someday I will provide the recipe–but it is not perfected yet and I am afraid of misleading all of you! I am so used to throwing it all together–my own recipe–that I don’t exactly know how to put it down as it is different every time!)

Now onto more–scrambled cheese eggs–I do it a certain Clarkson way with bacon bits, cheese and sour cream; Polish eggs–the same only with hash browns mixed into the eggs-omelette’s with green peppers, onions, ham, bacon, avocado as the favorite items and of course cheese; muffins–our favorite being oatmeal and also blueberry or pumpkin; also, apple coffee cake; cottage cheese pancakes with strawberry or blueberry topping.

But one of the family favorites, which I do when I run out of time or get up late, is Whole Wheat Pancakes. I use this recipe below. The great thing about this recipe is that you can change it by adding just a few items. The ones pictured below are my regular ones–pancakes with grated apple, pecans and cinnamon.

Sometimes I add chocolate chips and have made a smiley face with them; or blueberries, one to two squished bananas with chopped nuts; hot peach sauce on top, hot apples on top and whip cream on all of it if desired. The girls in our family prefer real maple syrup and the boys prefer Aunt Jemima or log cabin light.

Of course we always light candles and put on some kind of music.

Somehow our table looks sparse now that we only have 4!

Whole Wheat Pancakes
2 eggs
2 cups whole wheat (or white) flour
1 1/2 cups milk or yoghurt
2 -4 tablespoons honey, sugar or maple syrup-depending on your taste
6 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
Beat eggs with beater until fluffy. Add remaining ingredients until smooth. You can add up to 1/4 cup of milk if you prefer thinner cakes, but we like them fluffy and thick. They do spread out on your griddle–though sometimes I give them a little help when I put them on the griddle by spreading them out a little with my spatula. Let them cook until there are lots of bubbles showing on the surface of the cakes, and they are beginning to dry out on the edges. This makes enough to feed all 6 of us. You can halve the recipe and feed 4 if they are not big eaters!

*as an aside, I always grate apples to put in the pancakes. I also add pecans to some of them. You can also fold in blueberries. Yumm–a great way to add whatever you happen to like! (Once a woman told me that she followed this recipe and her pancakes turned out really heavy. I grind my own flour and don’t add more flour if the batter looks wrong–I add a little more milk. They are pretty light for us–hope it works for you!)

Next, I like to decorate for each season. I keep lidded plastic boxes with the season’s decor and it just takes me a small amount of time to decorate my whole house. (autumn, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s, Easter, Spring and summer) I like, also, these tall glass cannisters that hold whatever you want in the bottom and candles on the top part as pictured below. You can get them in all sorts of sizes–expensive designer ones or Walmart or Target. The reason I like them is that you can just put different things in the bottom of them, place a candle on top and it is an instant centerpiece on a table or coffee table. In autumn, leaves are on the bottom. At Christmas, I put tiny red and green Christmas tree balls in one and pine cones in another I have; small hearts at valentines with a red strand of beads during January and early February, etc.

Providing can also be designing traditions just for your family that take on a life of its own. Every year for a few years, we took a trip to the local apple farm and picked our own apples, ate a picnic out in the fields. Then, some weekend, we would all peel apples, slice and cut them and freeze them for applesauce and or warm apples to have with our soups in the winter. This year, our apple farm had a freeze and so we bought 3 boxes of organic apple to use for our recipes. We always watch the Anne of Green Gables series while doing it and I think we have every line memorized. This year, since our family is ridding itself of lots of our plastic, we decided to put our recipes in jars. I must say we missed the boys as they always did a lot of work with us on these!

The final outcome so far: 17 jars of homemade applesauce and 12 jars of apple butter (minus the jars eaten!)

Now, tonight we will do the last box–apple pie filling!

We so enjoyed praying for all of you today. It was such a good time of fellowship with my girls–I should do this more. Have a great day tomorrow and know we are in His loving and wonderful hands.

Grace, peace and an abundance of His love to all of you today!

Sally

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Child Training, Family, Food, Home, Hospitality, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Our Family, Recipes, Table Settings, Traditions

Filling Your Soul With Love and Grace Divine

March 23, 2011 by Sally 26 Comments

Claude Monet, Woman in the Garden

“I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

I have received thousands of responses to my blogs on child discipline lately. I see how many sweet ones there are who truly want to do the best and be the best for their children. But before I do one more post on child discipline, I just felt I wanted to tell you how very precious you are and how much your own personal life matters.

I awakened this morning with you on my heart. I know there must be many precious moms out there who are reading these articles and are feeling inadequate or guilty or condemned–or just worn out! I have been praying for you all morning.

Motherhood is very precious to the Lord. As a matter of fact, the more I mothered, the more I came to understand Him, His love, His sacrifice, His forgiveness, His patience. Motherhood is not an easy journey. I kept feeling that I needed to have more children so I could do it right at least once!

And yet motherhood is a long journey, a hard and challenging journey, that will require much endurance with grace, much forgiveness, much patience and just a whole lot of energy expended.

You are truly important to God in the midst of it all. He sees you and cares for your dreams and desires. And so I wanted to write a little post just for you.

When I had my first baby, I had never even changed a diaper. I did not know how to hold a baby. I was unprepared for the task. I also did not know how selfish and self-absorbed I was. And I have to admit that over the years, there were many times when I did not feel loving or feel like a good mother or even feel like I wanted to *be* a mother. I was always committed to my children and always committed to loving them, because I knew God wanted me to. But I did not always like them and sometimes that made me feel guilty.

I just put one foot in front of the other because I thought that is what God wanted me to do.

So if you feel that you are not a “natural” mother, or you enjoy doing things outside your home, or you have other ambitions, please do not condemn yourself. I felt all of those feelings and had to learn how to balance the different pulls on my life. But God has loved me and led me through it all.

I know that there are so many of you precious ones with deep scars. Perhaps you came from an angry family, where you were criticized or rejected. Or maybe you were ignored and you still wish someone would notice you and love you deep inside in those places that only you can feel.

Many of you made some bad choices morally that have deeply injured your own heart. Or you have a passive and indifferent or mean and abusive husband.

You are not defined by any of these things–not by what people have said to you, not by your flaws (we all have them), and not by your past failures or present difficulties. God loves you so very much. God is with you. God is your champion.

We read that when He looked out on the multitudes, He had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Jesus sees our needs. He loves us. He cares for how each of you feel deep in your heart.

You are so very precious to God. He is on your side. He will be your warrior God in all the battles in your home. He will help you and defend you and pour out His unconditional love on you. He is the source of your strength and joy. Nothing can separate you from His love. Romans 8

There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

The only way we can truly make it in this life productively is to tend to the garden of our own souls. The only way you can be a loving mother or friend is to have your soul filled with the deep, unchanging, unconditional love of God.

I love the picture above. I picture my soul as a garden that must be tended and cultivated and watered. If my own soul is healthy, then all who draw from my soul, will receive true nurture and strength. However, I do not know of any great women who have not been very intentional about cultivating and building themselves into godly women. They invested purposefully to become who they are.

A wise woman builds her house, but it starts with a plan!

You may find criticism from the world. But in Christ, you will find love, deep, abiding, unconditional love and all that you need for your task. But you must choose to invest your time wisely.

So what are some ways to fill your own soul so that you may have strength and love to give?

1. Surround yourself with good and godly friends.

I once heard a speaker say that he will do anything to put himself in the company of people who make Him want to love God more, who make Him want to be a better person–who inspire Him. But that he would avoid all of those who spread poison or gossip or discouragement as much as possible.

I have a friend, Phyllis, who I know will always point me to God. Just being with her is like being in the presence of the Lord’s encouragement, because she walks with Him and points me to him. Gwen is such a friend, and Deb, Shelley, Lynn, Beth and Sarah and Joy, ……….I gather these friends over the years and invest in them because they invest in me.

Find those friends, challenge a friend to be a prayer partner, to study a book together, to meet with you on a regular basis.

2. Spend time every day with the Lord. Find books, resources, people who can help you with this. (Go though the Psalms and circle or underline every promise or character quality of God. Read one chapter of John or Matthew a day and write down one lesson you have learned. Read through Philippians and note all the ways Paul tells us to follow Jesus.)

3. Clean out your soul on a regular basis–get rid of the rubbish that has kept you from experiencing God’s love. (If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us from our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.) Don’t hang on to bitterness or condemnation–it will poison you. I have a friend, Sarah Mae, who is dear to me as though she were a daughter. She has recently published an ebook called Core Lies, that she is offering for free. We must rid our hearts from lies that would keep us from experiencing the generous love of God.

4. Surround yourself with books, blogs, people who feed your mind on truth, who draw you to become a better self. There are many, many women in my life who do that to me. But I wanted to point you to three of my favorites.

I love these women because they have chosen to have integrity in their lives when no one was looking. They have invested thousands of hours in the presence of God. They have chosen to love and serve Him, to always turn in the direction of faith. I know they are not perfect, but they hold fast to a Faithful God who carries them. They are also seasoned women who have chosen to faithfully love and serve their children, and husbands, even amidst challenging times. They have weathered life and from that weathering, have garnered stories of His faithfulness. Feed on their life-giving words. I do so love these women.

Brenda Nuland– a mother of two grown children, who cultivates life, beauty, goodness and faithfulness in her home.Brenda always encourages me, feeds my soul and gives me loyal friendship.

Elizabeth Foss–a sweet mother of 9 children, whose devotion to God, gentle mothering of her children, and great thoughts always challenge me. She is humble and loyal as a friend and has learned to persevere with grace.

Ann Voskamp-an artist with words and photography, who deeply cherishes her precious Lord and wants to sing his messages into the lives of those in her pathway. Her gentle, humble words are always filled with grace that she found from walking closely with Him.

5. Spend time in nature–his workshop. When I see the artistry of God, and rest in the glory of the canopy of His beauty, I find great peace. Creation was made for us. He designed the stars for us to understand His vastness–His strength and ability to be bigger than us, to show us His power. He designed color, flowers, mountains, waterfalls, snow, rain, to show us His design. When I invest time in His works of art, I am inspired to reflect His art and beauty in my home as a picture of His reality in an otherwise dark world. Creation nurtures my soul when I take time to observe it.

6. Restore, relax, recreate. Young moms need a break.(and old moms and moms of teens, and……..) They need sleep. Sometimes grumpiness or depression goes away with just a couple of good nights of sleep or time away with a friend. Moms need to have a friend who understands them and still loves them! They need to laugh and lighten up. Cultivate times of breaks in your life, times of just getting away. Don’t always be serious–it is exhausting.

Our bodies need a sabbath rest. I take my tea time every day with a candle, book or magazine. I collect videos and movies and series of stories that delight my soul. I surround myself with music everywhere–at home, in the car, at dinner, when I am in a plane. I love rhythms and movement. I make time for cherished friends. I make fun for myself with my children so that we can just laugh and play and store up humor–everyone needs a break. (Read my daughter, Sarah’s blog post from a couple of days ago–Christians need to learn how to lighten up and have fun.)

These precious ones are not just public figures to me, but in the privacy of friendship, offer such grace, humility, love and always make me want to love Him more.

This blog is way too long, but the point is, you are important. Your emotional, spiritual and physical health matters to God. If you cherish your soul and become a good steward of your needs, you will be stronger for your journey of life and more ready to meet its demands. But you are the one who must plan how to endure with grace and beauty. You must create a plan that best suits your puzzle of life. Grace and beauty and peace in the midst of it all.

Filed Under: Art, Beauty, Friends, Home, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Music, Nature, People, Ponderings, Relationships, Simplicity, Tea, Trust in God

Parenting: It all starts with your view of God

March 21, 2011 by Sally 38 Comments

Michelangelo–God at creation

Starting with the right foundations

If there was one legacy I wish I could leave to other women, it would be to help them think more Biblically. When a woman knows scripture–the whole counsel of scripture, not just verses here and there taken out of context. But gaining a Biblical understanding from Genesis to Revelation, then she has more confidence and ease in her walk with God. (It is also why I hope to give a good bit of my life in the next years to our leadership intensives where women will learn a little of Biblical instruction, foundations, prayer, Bible study–to follow God in our lives as we serve and love Him. More on that later this month.)

God makes it clear throughout scripture that his priority for us is to know Him and love Him with our whole heart and mind.

“Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, let not a rich man boast of his riches, let not a mighty man boast of his might, but let him who boasts, boast of this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the God who exercises lovingkindness and righteousness on the earth for I delight in these things.” Jeremiah 9: 23-24

And, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” Psalm 127

And so the starting point for any arena in our lives must be God–our worship of Him and knowledge of Him and obedience–a heart that wants to please God.

So, let me begin by praying for all who read this today. “Lord, I pray that each one who reads these blog articles will be led by you. I pray you will provide them with insight, skill, love, wisdom and the understanding of what it means to be filled with your Spirit and to walk by faith in this journey of motherhood. And bless them with strength, joy and a sense of affirmation in their great calling as parents. I come to you in the precious name of Jesus. Amen”

I do not pretend to have all of the answers to all of the questions that people may have. I feel even reticent to become any kind of an authority, and pray only that I may shed a little insight on what I have learned through the years, by walking this journey with God. I also do not want to place any unnecessary burden upon moms who are doing their best, seeking to find wisdom and can feel like failures, as though “It is too late. I have already messed up my children.”

God is the God of second chances and His whole nature is to love and redeem. So, know that He is in your home, He loves those who seek Him and obey Him and He is a God of compassion and will work in and through your life.

(Even as a Father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. Psalm 103: 13)

And, of course, I am not anxious to attract lots of comments from women who want to tell me why I am wrong or why I do not understand scripture.

But, in the spirit of Titus 2, and my own stewardship of what God has graciously taught me over the years, I write these articles with much trepidation and dependence on Him. But I do think that God would have all of us women, in the spirit of Titus 2, pass on truths that we have learned so that other women may have more direction and help in the shaping of their families and the loving of their husbands. I longed for a mentor when I was young and so hope, so for the sake of encouragement and to please Him, I hope I might shed some light on this path of parenting.

It all starts with your view of God

Ultimately, so much of what I lived and what I know to be true, I learned by reading scripture, pondering it, studying it, seeking to really know God and walking with Him. Pondering Christ, who is the perfect reflection of God, according to Hebrews 1.

As many of you know, I have often said, “In the absence of Biblical conviction, people will go the way of culture.”

Women will go the way of their church culture, media culture, family culture, peer culture–they will follow whoever is leading, unless they have developed their own convictions. We will listen to other voices if we have not learned to discern the voice of God. The problem with this kind of approach is that it leads to whims, to whatever way the cultural wind is blowing.

And so, when it comes to child training, if people have not had the opportunity to think Biblically or to study the word of God, and about what God is like, they will look to others for “truth.” Most people desire specifics–just give me the rule, the formula, the law, as we want this process to be easy and predictable.

Please know that I am not trying to offend anyone. I want to be of encouragement and help. Yet, I have noticed, too, that sometimes, those who are most emphatic and confident about formulas and rules and laws about child training are those who have young children, who have not lived a whole life-time of raising children to maturity. It was interesting to me how many comments I had from older women (under my article first time obedience, really) who said that they wish they had known the ways of grace based parenting because of the negative effects it had on their children and how much it incurred anger and rebellion in their children.

Then often times, good hearted parents, will just take the opinion of a writer or speaker or authority, who says some emphatic things about a subject and uses a few proof texts to add support. What this speaker says, becomes law and rules and a formula to follow. Period.

And then, sweet, devoted women live by the rules and feel guilty if they do not follow the rules to a t, as though they are failing their children if they do not conform to the sound bites and laws of the speaker they are following–the speaker’s voice is in their head.

However, in the Christian life, even in parenting, God gave us a brain to think, a conscience to nudge our hearts, the Holy Spirit who lives inside of us to guide us. All He asks is that we live by faith in him dependence on Him. And yes, I think through this process, God has given a mom intuition and a mom’s instinct for what is best for her child. God always loves to lead us and work through us by faith in relationship to Him and what He is impressing us to do, within the beautiful design of our femininity and womanhood. That is why it is crucial that we are spending time in His presence and seeking to build a foundation of conviction on scripture and knowledge of God.

And so begins a series of articles addressing some of the issues about child discipline that many have asked me to write.

Your parenting philosophy all begins with your view of God.

I know I will frustrate many of you by taking so long to explain the foundations of our philosophy, as you would rather me tell you the specifics of how I did it and why, by God’s grace, I was able to raise 4 children who are obedient and respectful to us and who love God and are seeking to serve Him in and through their lives. But, my own parenting of my four very different children was a process of seeking wisdom, studying scripture, listening to God, following other wise people. It was a process of relationship and love with Him, not following the formulas that it seemed most of my peers were following. We went against the grain of the culture we were surrounded by, and yet found the wonderful presence of God in our home as we sought Him.

But, I feel that one of the most foundational starting points, is that all of us see our children through a grid. A grid is the lens through wich you see life. And if we can define that grid, then it will determine how we behave in relationship to our children.

Do you see your children through a grid of them being a blessing from God? (psalm 127)

Do you see the fruit of the womb as a reward? (psalm 127)

How does one treat blessings and gifts?

We read in Mark 10: 16 that Jesus took the little children into His arms and blessed them. Do you bless your children and see that as a part of being Jesus to them? He said of little children, “of such is the kingdom of God.”

Jesus also said, “Woe to the one who causes the leasts of these little ones to stumble.” What would cause a little one to stumble?

So today, I leave you with this question?

How do you see your children? What informs your mind when you look upon their sweet faces? Do you see them through the eyes of Jesus? Do you focus on them as someone to police or correct–or someone to love and serve, understand, protect, love and instruct?

As in all great work, it requires so very much time, effort, work, fortitude, faith and patience. But raising Godly children is of the most important work in eternity.

Filed Under: Child Training, Children, Family, Lifegiver, Mothering, Parenting, Trust in God

Is the lamp of your soul filled?

December 30, 2010 by Sally 3 Comments

January is usually a challenging time in the lives of many people. The anticipation of the holidays is over, there are messes to be cleaned, and lots of cold weather and dark days ahead. From times past, I know that it helps me every year to refocus and get a new perspective in order to make it through the long winter months with more grace.

I wish you were here today, the flurries of snow are so lovely as it peacefully dances through the air and falls softly. It is so white, so pure, so wonderful. It reminds me of the gentleness of God’s word and the beauty of it as it fills our soul. That is exactly the way I feel now as I ponder our morning devotions where we discussed the virgins that didn’t bring enough oil for their lamps.

¹ “At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. ² Five of them were foolish and five were wise. 3 The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. (Mathew 25: 1-3)

Some of the virgins were called wise and some were called foolish. Why?

Because they had oil? Well, partially but more because they had thought ahead to the priorities in life. They didn’t let things in life distract them from the truly pressing, the truly important, the true priorities. The wise virgins took the time to put oil in their lamps–to be ready to meet the bridegroom.

What does it mean for us to be ready to meet Him? To see Him face to face? How does that play itself out in the warp and woof of our home life? There are times in our lives when we definitely get distracted by dirty rooms, meals to prepare and oh yes, definitely laundry! But, are these the things that put oil into our souls? Likely not.

However, focusing on the Savior that is in the manger and on the cross will definitely fill our soul and guide our hands to the priorities of a time to visit with God every day, a time to talk to our children about why they are created in God’s image and maybe some help in how they can walk that out today. Maybe it is time in prayer for the neighbor, friend who is mourning, or family member that feels so alone and misunderstood.

All of our busy-ness will be in vain if it is not in preparation to see Him, to celebrate Him in our homes, to ready all of our children to put Him as the highest priority as we await that wonderful day when He will come back to the earth. God wants us to be ready and anticipating His coming.

The wise virgins were ready–they had faithfully prepared to see their Savior face to face. When we are in readiness the priorities are a lot more clear and our steps are so much more sure. So, as January approaches, evaluate your life in light of this wonderful little story. Take some time today to make sure you have the oil you need for your lamp and you too will be wise.

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Child Training, Lifegiver, Ponderings, Trust in God

The Gift You Can Give Every Day

December 23, 2010 by Sally 4 Comments

Mary Cassatt, The Maternal Kiss

Mary Cassatt Maternal Kiss

The excitement of last minute shopping is underway! I always mean to have everything done ahead of time, but day leads on to day and minutes run out and….! Maybe excitement is not the right word for that adrenaline rush you get in the mall parking lot or seeing the “Sale” sign over something you wanted to give a special person. And it is so funny for me to watch my sweet husband. He loves surprising the kids and makes a grand effort after I think we have all in order.

This is the season of sacrifice ~ giving up time and money to give gifts. Christmas for me is not so much a materialistic issue as it is wanting to consider the delights of my precious ones and seeking to bless them with something they will cherish. We have cultivated such a precious family time because of a legacy of traditions over the years, that we indeed celebrate in the love we share and the love He shared and shares with our family. We learned the delighting in those we love by looking at God who enjoys delighting in His children. It is what we see in God’s creation–the color, the beauty, the tastes, the sounds, and touch, the sacrifice–all gifts He gave us to satisfy, because He is a God who is near and personal.

Gifts are a way of telling someone we care about them, we are considering their own unique personality and dreams and desires. We try to give the best possible gift, knowing their likes/dislikes and the current needs in their life. The gift of Christ over 2,000 years ago shows God’s delight in us. The God of relationships and kindness, knew exactly what we needed. He gave us His most precious Gift and it cost Him everything!

As wives and mothers, we give gifts of our true selves to our families each day–or at least we should. When the milk is spilled, do we give the gift of acceptance and patience? When our husband comes home tired after an extremely long day, do we give the gift of listening and looking into his eyes, so he knows we truly care? Do we give our children the gift of a quick hug as they walk by? Or a butterfly kiss? Or a backrub? Sometimes these are the same gifts we would like to receive!

We will never be in control of our lives, as the busy moments seems to suck our energy and bodies dry at times, but we know the One who is. He promises to provide for us, even when circumstances push us to our limit. He promises to be with us no matter what! But opening our eyes and our hearts to praise and worship Him as He gives to us His patience, love and attention each day, gives us a pattern for celebrating life. Here is a section from The Mom Walk:

“There will always be giants in our land. There will always be things that could potentially threaten to overwhelm us. We have to make a choice to believe in God’s ability to provide and so free us to celebrate. We must trust Him to take us into His generous provision or we will allow life to demoralize us and we will give our children instead a model and attitude of complaining and grumbling.

This story (Numbers 13-14) was personally convicting to me, as I do have a real dark side which can become easily focused on the difficulties. However, I have learned an important principle: It is natural to whine and complain or to be selfish and unloving — but it is supernatural to praise and be thankful and to choose to express love and faith — even when my feelings don’t agree.

When we choose to practice praise, joy, and love, when we cultivate celebration even as God did, we then find that we experience the love of God to a greater degree in our own lives. He is there, walking in the garden of our own lives, looking for us to see Him and to respond and walk with Him in His providing love. But in order to see Him, we must turn our eyes and hearts to Him seeking to listen to Him in our souls and thus validating for our children and ourselves the reality of His joy.

A mother who gives her children a heart to celebrate God’s life and beauty gives a gift that will help her children draw joy from their lives and memories that will bring them strength and pleasure all their days.

So today, look for joy. Seek out beauty and model to your children what it means to live in celebration of God’s marvelous life.” ~ The Mom Walk pp. 48-49

Psalm 19:8 says, “The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.”

When you are struggling with your attitude, where can you turn? What passages of Scripture bring joy to your heart?

How can you live in celebration of God’s marvelous life today?

May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you!

Filed Under: Family, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Relationships

Dark mists, a violent storm, and a shadowy figure

October 29, 2010 by Sally 8 Comments

Savrasov Pascher Monastery 1871

“He lives always to intercede for us.” Hebrews 7:25

Sitting in our pj’s and chatting for too long, left me with little time for a quiet time this morning. I felt a need to have just a moment of peace with the Lord, so I picked up my Celtic prayer book, knowing there would be scripture, a short encouragement that would at least put my soul in the presence of God, as I readied myself to hurry off to my activities for the day. Little did I know that those 5 minutes would comfort me all day, and meet me at my point of need at this very juncture in my life.

Seems two men sought wisdom from an educated, old monk who was reputed to be a man of great character and distinguished in his devotion to scripture. Arriving at the sea coast town, they left their ship and climbed the long hill to the monastery. Several days were invested in revealing spiritual conversations , ponderings about God’s nature and presence, and the essence of true spirituality. With full souls, they bid farewell to the wizened old monk and walked toward the ship that would take them back home. With hearts overflowing, they gratefully planned how they would apply such wisdom in their daily lives in their home town.

Almost as soon as the giant ship left the small port, a raging storm gathered and lightening crashed about with thunder filling the air, and the ship swayed back and forth, the captain straining to keep it afloat amidst the crashing waves. In terror, the two men came aboard to access the danger. Peering through the dark, blowing mists, searching for the lights of home fires burning near the shore, they saw a shadowy figure emerge from the door of the monastery. Almost as soon as the figure appeared, they noticed it was the old monk, looking out upon the ship at sea, and that he fell to the soaking ground on knees and began, in a posture of prayer, calling out to God passionately.

After a very short interlude, the sea momentarily softened its rage and gave way to a semi-clear pathway so that the ship could secure a way to come back to the safety of the port. The monk, it seems had dedicated his heart and strength and devoted cries to God for the safety of those who had so recently been in his charge.

Somehow this story has been with me all day. It seems such a gracious picture of the sanctified old monk, not just being a person of the Word, but a man of His way–calling out before the throne of heave for those entrusted to his charge. This a picture to me, as I seek to be such a saint for my children and husband.

They, in the storms of their lives, are beyond my control, but not beyond the help and counsel of my Father and God. But as I witness these storms and see the seas of tempest surrounding them, I, too, have access to the throne of God. Perhaps, I will be their comfort to help them be brave as the shadowy figure was for the two men in the story. I battling on their behalf, that in their storms, they might feel the grace of God, find the strength of God to save them, and know the comfort of God’s presence right where they are.

And then I read, in Hebrews. He, my Lord and savior, even as a priest before the throne of God, like the old monk, lives to make intercession for me, His child. So thankful for this picture today as I face my own storms of life. And so very strengthened to be the prayer warrior as one son faces the demons of Hollywood, the other the liberal philosophy in Boston, and my two girls–one learning to drive on the freeway, and the other making big decisions, need me to stay before the throne for them. God has access to their brains and consciences. He will whisper His truth and wisdom into their lives. Somehow, mysteriously, I can help them by battling in the heavenlies as their prayer warrior and devoted mother, even as the monk did for those beloved of his–even as Jesus is so willing to do for me.

Filed Under: Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Prayer, Trust in God

Research says nature walks improve learning and brain function!

October 4, 2010 by Sally 2 Comments

For behold, He who forms mountains and creates the wind And declares to man what are His thoughts, He who makes dawn into darkness And treads on the high places of the earth, The LORD God of hosts is His name. Amos 4:13

Since I was a little girl, when I have walked out in nature, God has spoken to my heart. His art calls out to my own heart and validates His life and presence to my soul. Out under the myriad night sparkling stars while snuggling under covers on a wind-blown mountain top; sitting on the golf-course in the early evening near my old family home, amidst a pink, purple sunset painting the horizon; watching a swirling snowstorm creep into my mountain valley like an ocean tide sweeping into a cove; watching a mountain lake climb the walls of a faraway castle in the midst of a thunder storm; standing amidst thousands of dancing azure bluebonnets in an abandoned farm field–these and more fill my memory of times I felt His presence. These memories stored up, with many more, calling to my yearning heart, “There is an artist, a loving, good, deeply caring personal designer behind all of this vast beauty.”

And so I became a walker–walking miles and miles amongst mountain roads, sea shores of Prince Edward Island, city streets in the Vienna nights, round the rivers and fields in Poland, all over the world, new places to appreciate the beauty and to fellowship with its creator.

Developing the conviction that being out with Him was healthy–for me, for my children. Seeing that when fussing was inevitable, moods were tight, I could take my wee precious ones out for a tromp in nature and see their little hearts, with mine, relax, find soothing for our ruffled souls.

So, it seemed, by intuition, and reading, I knew of Him who
the mountains and creating the wind, declaring to me His thoughts, the one who painted the sky with his fingertips and made dawn into darkness–amazing, this!

And so I incorporated this into my educational philosophy for my children at home–beauty, creation, color, sound, texture, tastes–music, art, great stories–this, I instinctively knew, was from Him.

No surprise to me, then that the Holy Spirit who led me to these conclusions, would also provide scientific research that would document what I was led to by faith–that a brain functions better when at exposed to the peace and beauty of nature. That a brain surrounded by technology, traffic, noise, clutter, becomes taxed and weary and less functional. All the striving of man depletes man of his noble thoughts.

However when we practice sabbath rest, when we give our brains beauty, nature and exposure to Him, we find function of life at its best.

And so, even in the midst of my full days, I seek to walk or sit on my porch, or at the very least bring beauty, nature and peace into my home. It soothes my soul, supports creative and intelligent thought and feeds and nurtures the life of my family.

a basket of berries, foliage, apples, to bring the color and beauty of His hand into our home. (thanks, Sarah for putting it together!) Below the article on nature and the brain!

Read and enjoy!

Filed Under: Beauty, Education, Family, Lifegiver, Mothering, Nature

Peace and joy in the midst of busy, busy, busy, demanding life seasons

October 1, 2010 by Sally 11 Comments

My own little pilgrim Joy (minus hat and collar) having breakfast on the porch.

“I feel so guilty! It seems I never have time with God, lately,” my sweet young mom friend said. “With a 1, 3 and 5 year old underfoot, if they go to bed, all I want to do is collapse. And I really don’t feel like spending the little time I have left studying my Bible.”

I really understand how she feels. As a matter of fact, I think that when I had children her age, I thought that someday my life would slow down and become more manageable. I am still waiting. I think my life is busier than it has ever been. It is easy to feel that I am neglecting the Lord and that He is disappointed with me when I am too busy. But, …….

Today, up early to have tea and spent precious time with Clay. Seems we need this early morning by ourselves to talk, plan, catch up, pray and be together because it is so rare! Then, taking Joy to work by 9. (Pumpkin patch–she is a pilgrim talking to school groups for a month.) Sarah to the doctor and needs to meet after that about a trip. Joel wrote and has a big issue and decision that came up yesterday and needs council. Pick up Joy and take her downtown to driver’s ed. Meet with friend. Errands in town to run. Wash the last night dinner dishes because it was too late last night to face them when the activities of the day were over. Having dinner tonight with friends at our house. Joy’s friend coming over. Means straightening up the house. PIcking up Joy’s friend. Doing Nate’s favor which will take an hour in the middle of the day and articles to write, emails to answer, and and and.

His voice comes into my mind as I send up a quick prayer to not be overcome.

“Be still and know that I am God. I am the one who calms the storms and fears of life.’

How is it possible to live with peace in the midst of this life? God has slowly done a work in my heart over the years. It is why I named this blog, “I Take Joy!”

This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

It is a choice of my will, a choice to worship Him, in the midst of my busy day–this day that He created for me to walk through.

Today, this busy season of life, God sees me, He is with me, He goes with me every step of the way. If my grid from which I live and make my decisions recognizes this, then every minute is a minute spent with Him. “Oh, Lord, those Colorado mountains are so amazingly wonderful.” (Today as I am flying down the highway on the way home.) Lord, show me what is on your heart today. I have a need to hear your voice (as I am driving home from the “Pilgrim Patch.”

He speaks to me and reminds me, “I knew your days when as yet there was not one of them.” (Psam 139) I know this season of your life, lean into it. Be with me in it. Live joyfully each minute I give to you as a moment alive to me. Celebrate my love in the midst of the mess and stress of it all. It is where true spirituality is lived.”

“When you are with each precious person, live the fellowship of me in your midst. See this moment as one in which to serve, give a life-giving word, pray with them, serve them a meal with joy and goodness in your heart, wash the dishes as one who is civilizing and beautifying your home for me–every little moment of your acts of praise to me through mundane, normal moments is a time of companionship with me, if you will open your heart and your eyes.”

I realize again, that if Christ is in me, then Him living through me as I am going my way, means wherever I go, whatever I do, I can present Him, give of Him, love Him in the presence of every person who comes my way and in every task I must do.

My time with God is not just studying His word, it is every moment I am alive, opening the eyes of my heart, seeing Him, living in His grace, asking for His strength, resting in my limitations and His adequacy.

So whether tending to a sick child in the middle of the night with sleep deprivation, or nursing a sweet baby with a toddler pulling at your leg or praying and talking late into the night with a confused lonely teen, or just washing dishes and cooking one more time, it is an appointment with God, a time of worship, a place to celebrate His presence, because He is there, close to your heart and so longing for your companionship–you spending time with Him in the midst of it all!

Now, on to my busy day.

Filed Under: Beauty, Children, Family, Lifegiver, Mothering, Our Family, Simplicity, Trust in God

Developing Souls Alive vs. De-personalizing of technology

September 17, 2010 by Sally 3 Comments

Build an appetite for your children. Go outside and play!

Cell phones, facebook, blogs, websites, tv, ipods, game systems, etc.

None of these were mediums were prevalent when I was raising my three older children. They were beginning to develop, but we had one computer for the whole family and the kids could spend a half-hour a day on computer, with weekends occasionally being an exception. We had lots of family friendly videos, but used them as a special occasion, not an expectation. Couldn’t have done early life without Winnie the Pooh.

However, now, this technology has developed so rapidly, that it is literally changing relationships, brain structure. It is Joy’s world with her friends. But, it is essential to understand the ramifications of technology and the importance of limiting it.

When a child becomes addicted to these mediums, the cyberspace world becomes more reality to him than personal relationships. Children who spend time on violent video games are likely to become more violent. That shouldn’t surprise us. What we sow we reap. Guard your heart for from it flow the springs of life. Whatever is true, honorable, just, lovely, …, think on these things.

Scripture is very clear about the profound importance of being stewards of our brains. Without personal relationships, time to read and ponder, time to observe creation, we cannot as easily imagine and relate to God. When all time is taken up with media, there is not time to pray, plan, think, talk, build brain pathways.

A child’s deepest need is for love, purpose, well-being, health. A machine cannot give any child or human being these essential things. Technology can pacify temporarily, but eventually a person craves for more and more and more, more entertainment, more stimulation, more numbing of the hunger and longing that lives inside, for real life, real love, real attention and time spent.

The home should be a place of authentic life, not virtual life.

Reading out-loud a half-hour to a couple of hours a day provided lots of food for their brains. Dress up clothes from Good Will, capes, swords, provided them with lots of tools for acting out the stories they had taken into their hearts. Playing outside, hours of capture the flag, rox-a-boxin pretend cities in the back yard, writing books, playing shopkeeper, tea times, meals together, designing lego towns, drawing with colored pencils, painting with water color, shaping play dough, cooking, gardening, playing an instrument, doing chores, having lots of people over for lunch, dinner, going to concerts, hiking, and a multitude of other activities gave us as a family a foundation of health–mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally.

We shared life, discussed issues, told stories, lived fully in creativity and personal relationships. This real life tied an invisible string from one heart to the other, holding us together in a corpus of morality, faith, love, and purpose.

Now, as I raise Joy, I have to be very intentional at keeping life personal, life-giving, relational. The time it takes to provide her with relationship and life experiences, automatically means I have little time for working on my computer. But the stewardship I have for her mind, body and soul are more profound than all the ministry and influence that I can have outside my home. So my emails pile up day by day, but my family’s souls are prospering and growing.

Technology is raging because people are lonely and looking for meaning and relationship online. But it is destroying their brains, their consciences, their ability to think deeply, to build a vocabulary, to take time to be outdoors, to build a real, deep relationship with a friend by talking, instead of having virtual reality of life on a screen. The idol of technology is replacing a love for God for a hunger for those who might be looking for me or who can validate me in cyberspace.

As moms, we must protect our children from developing an early appetite for technology if we want them to have deep, healthy brains. One side of the brain is so passive when a person watches tv, that it slows down to a rate slower than when one is asleep. The brain cannot take in so many images and so it shuts down to protect itself. A brain developed over years of shut down will atrophy.

So much could be said about this, but don’t want to keep you on a screen too long!

Two interesting articles on media this week.

If your kids are awake, they are probably online!

Your brain on computers: the need for downtime.

Have a great weekend–hopefully outdoors in this lovely fall weather!