I Take Joy | People

Silly Philly

October 13, 2010 by Sally 6 Comments

(Jack is strong, really.)

And we’re off!

Hello, it’s me (Joy). Reporting, most faithfully at the call of my mother, to all you bloggers and blog readers!

It took us a while to get the ball rolling forgetting this and that, we managed to be the last ones to get on the plane. That’s always exciting, and you know a trip is not fun unless it’s an adventure. Arriving in Philadelphia Pennsylvania, panting and exhausted, we fell into bed, fell out, and then went on our way! From The Liberty Bell to the Independence Hall, we trekked our way from place to place with smiles on our faces and our learning brains in position. I must say I can’t think of a moment any of us were silent, I like to think it’s because we’re intelligent. But it sure did make for quite a few laughs, from both us and the surrounding homo sapians. We all ate our first Philly cheese stake sandwich in Philadelphia, and our stomachs and mouths are in a state of bereavement now that we are done and know we will have no more for quite a long time. Food continued on as theme as we made our way to an enclosed market were we found all sorts of succulent dishes and delicious nibbles. We now sit happily, (and I might mention early, as we somehow mistook the time and thought we were an hour forward in time) waiting to get on our train. So we bid Philadelphia farewell, and look onwards to the exciting prospect of Boston. Especially us kids, as none of us have been to “Boston in the fall” (Veggie tales, look it up ), and soon we shall be! Well, much love!

Now some pictures, courtesy mostly of the faithful little blue camera and my (Joy’s) obsessive picture taking. Enjoy!

Click the “Read More” link to see more pictures.

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Filed Under: Family Trips, Friends, People

Sisters and Friends make for healthier women! Girlfriends are essential!

September 20, 2010 by Sally 2 Comments

Joy and Sarah enjoying being pals.

When I was a young single missionary living in Poland, I had my precious pal, Gwennie, to live with under harsh conditions. Poland was under the communist rule of Russia during those years. Not much in the way of food to be found–rarely could we find meat. Fruit was scarce except in seasonal times. (Remind me to tell you my banana story sometime!) Life was hard. We were living subversively seeking to lead people to Christ and share Bibles in a country where it was illegal.

However, Gwennie and I, being women created by God to be nurturers, took care of each other. We spent almost every waking hour together. Walking a couple of miles to school where we struggled through the Polish language. Scouring the market square for some fresh food of some kind. Inviting girls from all over the country to stay with us to learn the Bible, we were partners in everything.

If one of us was sick, the other took care and made a cup of tea. Every night we would light candles on our little coffee table (didn’t have a dining table), put on music, eat dinner (usually one more kind of eggs as it was one of the only things we could easily get), and have a lovely time of fellowship. After dinner, we would read a chapter of a book out-loud. It was where I first read, Treasures of the Snow, by Patricia St. John. What a delight to be with a sister-friend, over candlelight, entering the world of Switzerland, children, and a rousing story, with a cup of coffee and celebrate some moments together.

The single men missionaries, however, did not fare so well. Many times they got sick more often, they became lonely and often returned from the mission field earlier. Why? I think it was because men didn’t nurture each other! Women did.

Years ago, I decided that women did better long term as missionaries because they were made to be help-meets. They knew how to take care of people–even their roommates.

I found this article below, very interesting, because of my theory all of these years that women, nurturers, are better able to sustain life, as they were created by God to do so. Celebrate womanhood at its best–nurture another woman in friendship, love and memories.

My girls and I with Gwen in a “girl’s club” memory last year. She is an honorary member!

But for those of you who don’t have sisters or daughters, I believe you can adopt them! I don’t have a sister, but I have my sweet friends. I make time with them, meals, outings, phone chats, visits to far away sisters (Gwen!), because they bring affirmation, love, fun, care and nurture in ways that only girlfriends and sisters can. Sarah, Joy and I even have what we call “Girl’s club” where we make time only for the girls!

So, plan to find a “sister”-friend that you can share life with. It will make you healthier and happier!

Article:

Having a sister can be good for emotional health!

Filed Under: Beauty, Family, Friends, Ministry, Our Family, People, Siblings

Shopping, dressing-up, and totally fun, irresponsibility–just what I needed!

September 10, 2010 by Sally 13 Comments

One of my beautiful outfits! Sweater-shawl, scarf, bracelet, necklace, earrings!

Whew! Weeks of responsibility and giving out–my intensive, company, adult children with myriads of needs, still home educating Joy, dinners, dishes, financial struggles, little sleep, giving, giving, giving…….

And then He interrupts my life–with delight…..

The Lord is so very thoughtful at times, that I truly feel like His beloved. Arranging personal, focused blessings just for me so that I stand back and see that He knows, He knows my loneliness for my mother, even when I am not aware. He knows I miss being mothered, I miss being noticed. He sees what would delight me even when I would never have thought to ask.

For many years, my mother would go shopping with me each fall to pick out two “speaking” outfits. I would then wear them all year to every place I would speak. “You need to be beautiful in all the places God has opened for you to speak. You have always been my little dolly and we will go out and make a celebration of it–you and me! That is my part in your ministry.

Adult time, spoiling me with lunch, little trinkets, talk, talk, talk, buying me things that as a young mom I could not afford, or would not afford because of all my little ones. Pretty dresses, or professional, classic outfits for meetings and interviews. Shoes to match and of course a new necklace or earrings. A lunch and coffee and sweets at the end, framed a special memory each year—just mama and me and the sharing of our hearts. “And you might just need this for a little something, as she tucked a $20 into my coat pocket.”

Mother-love providing, encouraging, nurturing, embracing, guiding, empathizing, and listening–and that is what my sweet mom used to do. Sometimes I don’t even realize how deeply I miss being “mothered.”

I didn’t realize how much I missed those yearly outings with her. The past 7 years, she struggling with an aging disease, has turned me more into an adult, little by little, who must call, write and send my love and care, while she stays day after day, needing help, care and pushing through it all, seeking to maintain a good attitude through the constant pain. I, sometimes lonely and longing, in my consuming adult life and ministry, but rarely have time to stop to think about it.

Fast forward to this week. I left for 3 days to do ministry, to be with friends, to set up conferences. Life has required me to be so responsible, so task oriented, learning to go without needs being met. Little “me” time.

Ministering in California

Flying there for 3 days with meetings, personal and strategic lunches, breakfasts and dinners, arranging conferences, teaching about communication skills, answering questions about mothering, leadership, guilt, books, education, the Lord, problems.

So often my life is fueled by adrenalin, searching through mind-files to engage with the question being asked, expending energy like money in a carnival, seeking to guide with the light pouring out of my soul with what He gave–and so serious, talk after serious talk, intentional conversation, all setting a standard my soul seems to follow obediently, step by step–one foot in front of the other. Always I enjoy these precious ones and enjoy hearing the stories. But sometimes I don’t even know how drained my brain and body and heart have become amidst the path of my life.

Sometimes, sharing of dark, heart secrets that spill out slowly like a mist billowing slowly on a mountain pass in private meetings. Ideals passionately espoused amidst a call to intentional living. Disappointment spilling over through tears from misunderstandings amongst those they thought were most likely to love–fellow Christians. Divorce, abortions, anger, insecurity, failure, or inadequacy or fears–sometimes stories of redemption, love, growth, encouragement, inspiration. These the topics of my interactions, with precious ones I meet, hour upon hour. This my life in ministry. And yet….

How I love my California girls! Jeanna, one of my angel friends who dressed me like a dolly! Vicky and Lisa were her cohorts.

Yet, during a break, I was talking with three dear ones who have become sweet friends to me amidst ministry over the past few years. “I love your necklace. What a cute shirt that is with the roses! I am so glad “feminine” is in style again. You all are so darling and fun–you need to tell me how I am supposed to dress!”

Conversations drifted to clothes, styles, contemporary expectations.

“You won’t believe it, but we got a lot of what we are wearing at our church’s bookstore! They have a section of clothing and jewelry that supports women in poor countries, where we have missions, so that they can be independent. All of it is produced there! We are going to take you over to the store and buy you an outfit.”

And so, for almost two hours, they dressed me up. I felt like a little girl again. And I felt so very loved and blessedly noticed and cared for! It was so much fun-necklaces–short or long, earrings dangling or studs, myriads of rainbow scarves– maroon, navy, floral, solid, knit, silk, “That looks great.” “She looks like she is sick in that color–get her something else.” “Oh, that style flatters her! Let’s get her two outfits!” Giggles, playing, talking-sheer fun, nothing serious, only playing and being girlfriends. I didn’t even know how much I needed it. Water for my thirsty soul.

When my hostess and dear friend picked me up for dinner after our shopping was all finished, we had a leisurely few minutes together before our next meeting. All of a sudden it hit me–my mom wasn’t able anymore to help me pick out my two outfits, but maybe the Lord knew deep inside I needed to know that someone still wanted me to have fun–not just responsibility–but fun, love and a memorable light-hearted afternoon. I now have two darling, speaking outfits, but I also feel noticed, cared for, and had a whole lot of unexpected fun.

Thank you, my angel friends for taking time with me for fun and for love. I love each of you so much.

Filed Under: Friends, Joyful Life, People, Ponderings, Relationships

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble

September 3, 2010 by Sally 8 Comments

Nicolaes Maes Dutch Painter Woman seeking God, as we have all sought Him throughout the ages.

Late Wednesday evening found us drinking hot chocolate, talking lively as somehow, stories and history of our past started bubbling out of each of our children. These stories focussed on a number of times when our family has been injured by other Christians or greatly criticized unjustly by others. It is painful at times to see the results of hurts through the eyes of my children when I know that they have been deeply wounded in our own journey towards the Lord.

From the beginning of scripture, we see that evil and tests are around every corner. Cain killed Abel out of jealousy. There are Ahabs; Jezebels; wicked and selfish kings, including Saul who was after David to kill him; giants in the land, Hamans who want to kill all the jews; Judas’s and Job’s friends who misunderstand; Pharisees–God’s leaders–who become the murders of the righteous.

I did not know or understand this when I first started out in ministry. I was shocked by how very cruel people could be–poisonous in some cases. There have been trials in our lives that I will probably never write about, because I believe loyal love is an important standard in my life and there are those I am not willing to expose. Yet, the battles our family has been through are numerous and quite difficult.

And, in a few cases, the wounds are still fresh enough on our children’s hearts, that I can still see they have been deeply hurt. “No wonder I have been tempted to wonder if God loves us or to doubt in people’s ability to be faithful. If you look at our lives, it is amazing that we have even kept beileving God, with all that He has put us through!”

Yet, these have been the stories of our lives. It is in the midst of trial that our children really see what is is like to trust God. They will have battles if they intend to live godly lives. They learn how to live godly lives by hearing our words as well are watching our faith.

There are so many other ways to experience deep pain and sadness. There are wars, illnesses, lack of money, wickedness seemingly going unhindered, no community, loneliness, heartache.

Yet, above and beyond all, there is God.

I love Psalm 22, the prophetic psalm that was on Jesus’s lips when he died.

“My God, my god, why have you forsaken me?”–this to the jews was the title of the Psalm as they knew the first lines to define what psalms were being addressed. And so Jesus had this as a comfort in his heart as he heard it all the years, because the first line did define for him the temptation he had at the cross. Verse 2 says, “I cry by day, but you do not answer, And by night, but I have not rest,

but then the next verse says it all, “Yet, thou art holy, Oh thou who art enthroned on the praises of Israel, in thee our fathers trusted. They trusted and you delivered them. To you they cried out, and were delivered; In you they trusted and were not disappointed.”

This is our hope–we call out to God. We call out to Him who is our Father and longs for us to come to Him. He is faithful. He is holy. He is deeply involved in our lives.

There are those battles that go on in our heart, when no one else can see–Is God really good? Does He really care? Can I really trust Him? Is He ever going to answer our prayer? Can He forgive me, again?

And then we are tempted to take things into our own hands–whatever that might be. Why do I know this? Because I have lived in this place many times.

Even now, our family is in a crisis. Yet, always we have a choice. Will we trust God. Will we celebrate His reality? Will we believe in the darkness even when we cannot see any way out?

Fatih is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. We believe, not in what is around us or what we can see. We believe in what we cannot see–God, His promises, His faithfulness, His ways which are different and above our ways–this is what His Word tells us. Will we listen to Satan’s voice, the accusations that God does not see us? that God does not care? That God cannot help us this time?

Faith–This is the only way to please God. To trust Him. Without faith, it is impossible to please Him, we read in Hebrews. Faith is brightest when we live in the darkest hours–the most impossible time to believe.

It is why I began this blog, I take joy! Through all the difficulties of our lives, I did not want to be overcome by the darkness, I did not want to be a victim. I made a decision: I will take joy, I will choose light, I will live in forgiveness.

I choose to believe in His goodness and not look at the dark. I choose to celebrate life because I am redeemed and Paul tells me in Romans 8 that nothing can separate me from God’s love. I choose to be gracious because God has been gracious to me.

God allows us these trials that we may live boldy before others to show that we are not those who shrink back, but those who believe.

But God also cares deeply for us–He was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. He understands your wounds. He cares deeply that you are feeling pressure, hurt, sadness or harm. He deeply loves you. But we must open the eyes of our heart and look for that love and wait for His strength and answers.

It is why I wrote Dancing with my Father. God, my father, is in charge. He knows what He is doing. He knows what He is building into our lives when we do not understand what is going on. I will hold His hand, I will praise His name, I will wait for His timing, because He will be faithful.

Though we are all tempted to trust in man or money or despair in our lives, may God be our hope today. May we bring Him deep pleasure as He sees us praising Him, loving Him, hoping in Him, so that when He has brought forth justice in our lives and answered our longings and prayers, we will have had the privilege of living a story which will indeed show His reality and His faithfulness to be true.

Hold on and worship all you precious ones who are living in the midst of great difficulties. He cares for you. He is with you. He loves you. May you and may I and my family always rest in Him.

We will be like Jesus in the prophetic psalm 22: 22 and following:

I will tell of Thy name to my brethren, In the midst of the assembly, I will praise Him, and stand in awe of Him, …, For He has not despised nor abhored the affliction of the afflicted. Neither has he hidden His face from him; When when he cried to Him for help, he heard.

I am praying for so many of you today who are hurting. May you know His love, generosity, grace and peace and may you feel His abiding love. Grace and peace.

Filed Under: People, Relationships, Trust in God

Still learning how to give up "my" time!

August 25, 2010 by Sally 7 Comments

“Children, by definition, take up our time. They’re supposed to do that; it’s the way God made them.”

“I was called to give up my rights simply out of my love for Jesus.”

“To have significant energy for the task, we must make the choice to embrace motherhood wholeheartedly.” Mission of Motherhood (Sally Clarkson)

Careening down the highway in my little blue, crv, stuffed to the gills with moving, warm bodies of my larger than life children (6 foot 5, 6 foot 3, 5 foot 10, 5 foot 6 and me), rocking to the rhythms and bass of the contemporary favorite tunes from ipods, I felt a deep happiness come over me.

Giggling, laughing at inside jokes, being too loud, sharing opinions and being happy to be in each other’s company brought a whisper prayer of thankfulness to God, for all he has built into our family culture to make each of these each other’s best friends. That my children want to be together and want to be with me is deeply satisfying, knowing that all of them have a bigger life than just our family.

Bribing all of my captives with a breakfast out to a 5 star hotel, a sweet memory from our past when they had done this, opened the door to making one more great memory. I hoped would continue to tie the threads of our souls together just a little bit more. It is thousands of such threads that make us “The Clarksons.” Our own unique flavor of family–rock music when we washed the dishes, Sunday afternoon teas, always great books and stories, music at the dinner table, rousing discussions, heart-felt devotions.The meals we love, the way we do chores. It all comes back to life when we get the rare chance of being together. And each time we are all together, I know my work is to keep reminding them of the foundations, the values they have been given, the faith and convictions we all hold.

Some wonderful friends had chipped in to give Clay and me a gift card for a restful getaway at this hotel after an exhausting summer of ministry. It was absolutely amazing and wonderful. But we will take it later in the fall when the rooms are half-price. But this card gave me an opportunity to spoil my sweet ones. (My children still split meals and drink water so as to save money–it is just an expected way to go–we were always trying to save our pennies, so they still know that we celebrate life–but also have a way of doing fun things within our budget.)

Joel and Joy savored a avocado, cheese, bacon omelet. Sarah and I split crabcakes with pouched egg and citrus Holandaise sauce, and my Hollywood acting Nathan chose fruit and granola, a much healthier choice!

Method to my madness opened the door so that I could then have the opportunity to once again hold up the standard of God’s word, to speak into their hearts. I have intentionally always told them how blessed I was to be their mother, how I believed that each of them was called to do a work in their life-time for God’s kingdom. Sarah, God has gifted you with such a mind, an artist with words, you were reading and writing as a wee one, and I knew somehow you would be a communicator of truth and ideas to your world. My gentle Joel, you were singing perfectly on tune at 18 months and harmony by 3! Music seeped from you your whole life. To step out in faith to become one who would write beautiful music seems a fit for your life of bringing excellence and beauty to the world. Nate, when you were only 6 years old, you acted out your hero Audie Murphy in a speech given to 150 people and I knew then you were made for an audience. I can’t wait to see how you bring His light to a dark arena. Joy, you have been a communicator since you started talking at three. Your gift with people, your love for the Lord and confidence in leading, will give you the ability to teach and inspire many people to love God in your life time.

And so words of truth and love, spoken in a sweet moment of celebrating life, will hopefully keep building on the foundation of their souls that has been lovingly given one day at a time, years upon end. I find I am still changing my schedule and giving up my expectations of life to keep serving and giving to those for whom I will have to give an account before Jesus when I see Him face to face.

Sweet Sarah Mae at likeawarmcupofcoffee has been doing a once a week review and discussion of my book, Mission of Motherhood. I love her heart and the way she connects with other women. She has a true gift of ministry.

But as I was reading a couple of the quotations she took out of this book, which I wrote years ago when my children were much younger, I realized, that I am still learning the same things. But the difference is that I see that the principles I wrote down that I determined would be a part of my life, have become second nature to me after practicing them for so many years. It is not that I don’t still struggle at times to have “my own time.” I long for time alone and time to do what I want to do all the time!

But since I settled many years ago, that this was right for me to do, that it was a part of my spiritual service to God to serve in my home, I don’t have to think about it or struggle with it like I used to when my children were smaller. It is already a commitment that is deeply held in my heart, so when I have to decide to do it, the truth is a part of my grid through which I had learned to see and live life. Practice makes a principle become a reality.

This is the quote that I thought so applied to me then and to me now!“I have already made a decision to make myself available in the routine tasks and myriad interruptions of daily life because I believe it is God’s will for me to serve my family through them. Making this choice ahead of time means I will expect problems and needs to arise and be ready to deal with them in peace instead of impatience and resentment.” Mission of Motherhood

Thanks, Sarah Mae, for reminding me of this again today!

Filed Under: Beauty, Family, Lifegiver, Ministry, Mothering, Our Family, People, Relationships

East Coast, Here we come! Philadelphia, Boston, and New York City!

August 24, 2010 by Sally 5 Comments

PHILADELPHIA, BOSTON, AND NEW YORK CITY–HERE WE COME!

Seeing, handling, touching, acting out, experiencing, reading outloud—these are the live experiences that make history feel real. Since my children were very little, I have purposed to plan ways that they could really experience what we studied.

Missions was not just be a story that someone else lived, that we read about. I wanted my children to experience being in a foreign country and eating foreign food and hearing a foreign language, while seeing the great needs of others.

Serving in a soup kitchen or babysitting at a single mom center for battered women makes needs more real, because children get to put a name to a face that they can pray for over months.Seeing how blessed we are as Americans is a nice thought, but when a child sees homeless children or feels what it is like to be hungry, they have a whole new understanding of poverty, or material wealth or whatever!

For this reason, since my oldest children were very small, I have intentionally planned and purposed to give them real life experiences so that they could really get a more realistic understanding of those we studied. It is why we have been such travelers. Reading about historical figures is inspiring, but seeing places they lived or built or battles where they were fought gives them a more realistic understanding of the issues of stress, physical limitations, issues in the lives of the people they have studied.

So travel has always been a central part of our lives. I could not do this in certain seasons of life, but I learned very early, that my little ones could be very happy in a car if I gave them things to play with, draw, munch on, or listen to and so we have traveled our whole lives. It started when my older kids were young. Clay worked for 3 weeks on our book catalogue every year and my friend’s husband had 3 very busy weeks with his animal husbandry business, so we planned a trip together every spring. Finding museums, battlefields, cafes, art galleries, and more were our goal. Always we would have 2 or 3 books on tape to listen to about the places or people we were going to visit.

This year, our little history group below, are planning a history trip to Philadelphia, Boston and New York City. We have been studying American history–early years for the last 9 months, saving our money and planning our trip. We will be in these three cities during mid-October. I would be happy to speak one evening in each city. If you have a support group or mom’s group that you would like for me to address, please send any requests to Sally@wholeheart.org and I will give them to my sweet two other mom friends and they will help me figure it all out.

As it has happened over the years, we have often stayed in homes of people, shared meals together and we have made many of our close friends just from meeting with people we found on my blog. It always makes Clay feel better to know we are not in a city without friends close by.

And just maybe we travel not so much out of philosophical reasons, but more because I love to travel and get away and am too adhd to sit still all the time. So I look forward to hearing from you.

Below is the trip we took last year. What great memories we have stored over the years. Our history group has shrunk over the years as our children have graduated and left home. We are down to 2 girls and two boys and 3 moms!

PS We are going to be on the train and will not have a way to go outside of the public transportation in each city—so I will speak to groups in the cities!

Deb Weakly, mom; Jack, 13; and Christie, 16; Shelley Rose, mom; Jackson, 13 and Joy, 15 and me.

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; love more, and all good things will be yours.”

Swedish proverb

Not many people have driven to Sweden, but our history group has extraordinary powers! Well, really, we just drove to mini Sweden, AKA Linsborg, Kansas. Miss Sally, Deb and Shelley and their children hopped in a red mini van and began their seven hour adventure driving to Kansas. After much groaning, exciting wheat watching and about 50,000 cows and windmills to observe, we finally arrived at out destination. What followed was two days of good old fashioned Swedish fun. Bicycles built for five, Dala horses built for none, (but piled with four) and pickled herring. Yum! Swedish pancakes and hot chocolate, Swedish dancing, vikings on sticks (meant for eating) and one cold bleacher. If you have nothing to do two years from now for the Hylliningsfest, we strongly suggest you check it out. -Joy, 14; and Jackson, 12. (our next door neighbors for several years and friends for 10 years–the kids are like brother and sister or cousins.)

If you would like to view more pictures, I will post a website for you to visit.

Getting atop a Dala horse is harder than you think. Dala Horses were all over town.

(There is a legend that says that it was a young boy on top of a Dala Horse that saved the people from the bad trolls and elves. So Dala horses are always Scandanavian–primarily Swedish.)

Filed Under: Family Trips, Friends, Ministry, Our Family, People, Relationships, Traditions, Travel

God's ways of dealing with Conflict

August 21, 2010 by Sally 9 Comments

“As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12:18

Recently, several unfortunate situations have arisen in our lives amongst fellow believers who are creating disharmony–both in a local church situation, a women’s ministry group, as well as another issue that has arisen on a national scale amongst leaders of an organization.

The reason for this blog article is that I truly believe that Satan loves for disharmony to flourish and to be nurtured amongst Christians. Whether in marriage, in parenting, in ministry or in organizations, we must fight against relationship conflicts and seek energetically to be those who are generous in love, compassionate in heart, gracious and peace-making as much as possible in all relationships in which we are involved. We are called by Christ to be menders of relationships and reflections of His own unmerited favor and love for us, when we were still sinners.

After being in ministry for almost 40 years, I have lived through many very difficult seasons of conflict: groups or churches dividing and ministries being destroyed; people quitting jobs and ministry teams; hurt feelings, harsh words that have a lasting impact and go deep into the souls; and immature idealistic young Christians who think that the whole world needs to hear their thoughts on all sorts of issues. Gossiping, critical, judgmental groups of women have also created havoc in the pathways I have traveled. The possibilities of conflict are limitless.

Conflict, spiritual warfare and criticism is part of the challenge of being in Christian ministry. I have often told my children, that if one chooses to be a leader and stand up in front of people for ideals, righteousness and the kingdom, they will become an easy target–it comes with the territory. I did not know or understand this when I first committed myself to be involved in ministry as a way of life. I was often shocked at how Christians could so easily abuse each other. Heart-breaking circumstances have also caused me deep anguish and overwhelming sadness in my own life. And yet, God has been so very gracious to pull me through and beyond these incidences and taught me so much along the way. Not all people have been so fortunate as to have survived their battles against the harsh battles of being at the forefront of Christian ministry.

Naturally, most people involved in controversy, have reasons dear to their hearts for being a part of the conflict. Many think it is for the sake of keeping “doctrine” pure or standing for principles that must be debated.

Now I am not suggesting in this article that we, as believers, should not have Biblical ideals. But I have come to look upon conflict and division in the body with seriousness and with caution, because I think most of it breaks the heart of Christ, especially when it concerns fellow Christians. And I have seen that much of the conflict has been over opinions and judgments that have in the long-run, proven to be unnecessary or false.

If the focus of my life is to please Christ, to love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength, then I have to use that as a grid for all that I do. So when I come to a conflict amongst Christians, I must look at it, if at all possible, through the eyes of Christ. How does He see this? What does He value? What is His example? How would He want me to behave? What is my responsibility?

I would like to suggest just a few of the Biblical principles that have guided and guarded my own involvement in conflict.

Peacemakers

“While being reviled, he did not revile in return, but kept trusting Himself to God who judges righteously.” I Peter 2:23

While being accused, Jesus, the only perfect and just person who ever lived, did not defend himself when he was being unjustly accused in his trial. His decision was to be quiet, still of heart, humble in his righteous position and to wait for God’s justice to work. God is committed to justice, to holiness, to disciplining our lives so that we can share in his very character–God is always faithful in His timing to bring about His will.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matt. 5:9

“As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12:18

Jesus said that those who make peace are like God–as peacemakers, they will appear as children of the Most High who is one who gave his whole life to bring us peace, restoration, redemption. He took the conflict upon himself. We are admonished to use our lives and our very words to bring peace.

Life-Giving words

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word that is good for the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

³¹Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

³²Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4: 29-32

Of course this passage is filled to the brim with godly advice. But overall, it indicates that God’s will for us is to put away any selfish tendency in our hearts (wrath, bitterness, anger, clamor, or malice) far from us, because it grieves the Holy Spirit and prevents Him from living through us.

Instead, we are to choose to be kind, tender-hearted–not hard hearted, and forgiving us in the way Christ has forgiven us. Pretty clear admonition. This passage really tells us not to follow our pride, but to follow humility and gentleness. I think pride has been the biggest reason for most dissension.

Not judging others

“Do not judge, lest you be judged.” Matthew 7

I quickly found 6 passages without even working at it that admonished us not to judge others–not to assess them or judge their motives, or their behavior–but not to judge at all. We can so easily as humans see things from our own lives and we “feel” we are right.

Yet, I have learned the hard way, by looking back on my life, that many times I was young, inexperienced, short-sighted, wrong in my judgments of others. To be quiet, peace making, patient, humble of heart is so much more the pattern that Jesus modeled. We are not God, we are not omniscient and cannot see or understand all knowledge–so we had better be very careful that we have a case before we speak against anyone–especially if we have any sin or weakness in our own lives like the very people we are criticizing. It is not wise to jump into an argument or disagreement that is not our own.

Avoiding Gossip

There are about 127 quotes in scripture that speak about gossip. God hates gossip–hates it. Gossip is spreading words or thoughts about a person to others which cause the hearer to think badly about the one being gossiped about.

So, unless I know that I am God’s agent of truth about a situation, unless I am quite sure He wants me to speak against someone, I had better be very careful of my words, lest I separate myself from God. I must be cautious of self-righteously speaking against someone I think might be wrong or who disagrees with me. This is a very serious offense to God.

God’s Supernatural, loving Ways

God’s heart is for us to be forgiving, loving, gracious and generous to provide His peace.

“Love covers a multitude of sin.” I Peter

“They will know you are my disciples by your love for one another.”

“It is to a man’s honor to overlook a sin.”

“Greater love has no one than this that a man lays down his life for another.”

“Forgive 70 times 7.”

There are obviou
sly so many more scriptures about conflict-resolution. But overall, I think that it breaks the heart of God for us, who are believers, to create dissension amongst other believers or to create any negative suggestions which could in any way harm another believer. Many Christians and Christian movements have been made to look foolish in the eyes of the world for choosing to get caught up in division.

Though I have so far to go myself in learning and applying these truths, I see that if I am to become more like Christ, I must take these and so many other admonitions to heart. May God grant you wisdom and grace as you consider His ways in relating in a Biblical way to others in your own journey with Him through all of your own conflicts. And may His Spirit shine His light and grace through us in this world greatly in need of His light, redemption and love.

“

Filed Under: Bible Studies, Lifegiver, People, Ponderings, Relationships, Trust in God

The Power of Influence in a Life-giving Home

August 18, 2010 by Sally 5 Comments

Whispering breezes amongst towering, swaying pines; pelting, drumming showers invading our car conversations, mists obscuring our views bespoke to all of us the need for an August fire in our cozy living room, steaming cups of tea, and soul-feeding sharing of hearts. And so began a memory-making afternoon.

I will let my daughter, Sarah, tell the whole story as she is such a better writer than I am–but afterall, I was not homeschooled and she was! (I think it would be so wonderful if you could leave Sarah a comment to let her know it matters that she is writing! thanks!

The rest of this story is here

Even as God filled the earth with the art of a His best creation, so our homes must bespeak of His glorious creativity–colors abounding, lilting music setting the mood, feasts celebrated amongst every possible topic discussed, observed–from jokes to convictions, ideals to devotions, sadness to hilarity.

Real life should be lived–not virtual life observed.

We have had a house full of people for the last couple of weeks. The walls are fairly swaying with the life of friendships deepened, laughter ringing, voices raised in the spirit of competition of games played late into the night. (Golf,–a card game you can find on the internet-o- hearts, speed scrabble and scrabble, with even a little bit of tripoly type of card games being some of our favorites over the years.)

Oh how I wish you could hear the deeply felt convictions and beliefs and conversations of our precious children as they share over books read, convictions challenged by others, beliefs cherished and preserved in their lives out in the world–to peek into souls that have been nourished on the best minds of great authors, the daily devotions and faith shared that lives deeply, authentically in their own hearts, the creativity and life of these adult children being lived out as they have become lights in their own worlds.

It is deeply fulfilling to know that all of those years of the labor of love and educating has born such satisfying fruit in their lives and souls. They were actually listening and paying attention all of those years, day in day out of the giving of our best to their hearts, minds and souls. So, my sweet friends, your work is not in vain–in God’s hands it becomes a miracle.

This “life” is what my older children return home to experience–the cups of their souls longing to be refueled with the virtue, love, purity of moments shared together in the breath of God’s love warming our hearts, filling us all with the sense of belonging to His destiny, kingdom, and caling, and binding us together in the grand purpose of His calling on this family called the Clarksons.

Last night, at one time we had 3 guitars, a djembe thrumming and Clay leading the host. Real music pulsing through the open windows.

Old friendships remembered and rebuilt over banana pudding, chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, and brownies with Europeon chocolate chips sprinkled in–after a feast of spaghetti pie–an all time fav from an old Amish recipe.

Joy sported a headache and didn’t feel well, so her precious friend Andrea ministered comfort by soaking her hands in warm water and making her nails beautiful.

Meanwhile, the a serious game of cards ensued, as my sweet friend and I sat on the couch and pondered the gift of our precious ones who had grown up so quickly, and by God’s grace so wonderfully full of His life.

Filed Under: Beauty, Family, Friends, Home, Hospitality, Lifegiver, Ministry, Our Family, People, Relationships

Mom Heart Leadership Intensive–the dream realized!

August 12, 2010 by Sally 6 Comments

Mom Heart Intensive Leadership attendees–precious women!

“Train faithful women who will be able to teach others also!”

Clay and I were groomed on the discipleship concept of training those in our ministry to be leaders, by giving them the messages of scripture, giving the intentional training of leading in ministry, speaking well and writing in an excellent way. Naturally, when we prayed about what legacy we wanted to leave in our life-time, we prayed and realized that we wanted to pass on what we knew to others who could teach and train others–as Jesus did with His disciples.

But when I envisioned having a leadership conference to accomplish this, I knew that the training wasn’t just to be cognitive–passing on the core of the messages. I also wanted the women who came to my home to understand that Biblical motherhood involved the incarnation of Christ. Delectable meals were to be served on artfully decorated tables. Thoughtful gifts were to show our love and detailed care for each person. Candle-light and music would create an environment of beauty in which hearts could be shared, friendships given and molded. A home environment was essential–with family photos, every genre of books displayed around in every crevice and cranny; art on the walls, color and the creativity of God displayed in each room as a reflection of God himself working through personality. Inspirational speakers would be the guides, all of whom had a passion for Christ. Bathing each moment and each person in prayer was to be the foundation in which the love, training, meals and lectures were to be given! We wanted our leaders to understand that the essence of ministry and passing on of ideals involves every aspect of life, whether to our children or those whom we seek to influence and draw to Christ.

And so Clay and I prayed and planned and God provided the most amazing team of women to join in this venture that we could imagine–cooks for the meals, flower arrangers, administrative geniuses who put the transportation, speakers order, roomates, and correspondence together, van drivers to the airport and back; a perfect hostess and home to share in the meetings, a hospitality coordinator; a greeter and training the children who helped person; a hostess for our international attendee who needed days in America for jet lag and for buying books for her children, and a team of our children to serve at every possible point. These women were angels provided by God Himself.

God answered our prayers abundantly in every way. The precious women who attended had such passionate hearts and a willingness to enter into the very intensive training. Our speakers gave wholeheartedly from their lives and storehouse of convictions. The children who were called upon to serve gave with enthusiam and grace.

All in all we were so very blessed and pray that these normal, sweet mommies, will be used by God’s spirit to turn the world upside down, even as the disciples did, because of their call by God to pass on these Biblical messages by faith in the power of the Holy Spirit as they walk their own story out faithfully right where they are. Here are some pictures of our wonderful memories together! Blessings to you all as you are back home.

I could not figure out how to embed these pictures, but I know you will all enjoy them! Just click on the slideshow and you will see all of our pictures. Would love to hear from you!

Filed Under: Beauty, Conferences, Ministry, People, Relationships

Momheart Conference

August 12, 2010 by Sally 2 Comments

Mom Heart Intensive Leadership attendees–precious women!

“Train faithful women who will be able to teach others also!”

Clay
and I were groomed on the discipleship concept of training those in our
ministry to be leaders, by giving them the messages of scripture,
giving the intentional training of leading in ministry, speaking well
and writing in an excellent way. Naturally, when we prayed about what
legacy we wanted to leave in our life-time, we prayed and realized that
we wanted to pass on what we knew to others who could teach and train
others–as Jesus did with His disciples.

But
when I envisioned having a leadership conference to accomplish this, I
knew that the training wasn’t just to be cognitive–passing on the core
of the messages. I also wanted the women who came to my home to
understand that Biblical motherhood involved the incarnation of Christ.
Delectable meals were to be served on artfully decorated tables.
Thoughtful gifts were to show our love and detailed care for each
person. Candle-light and music would create an environment of beauty in
which hearts could be shared, friendships given and molded. A home
environment was essential–with family photos, every genre of books
displayed around in every crevice and cranny; art on the walls, color
and the creativity of God displayed in each room as a reflection of God
himself working through personality. Inspirational speakers would be
the guides, all of whom had a passion for Christ. Bathing each moment
and each person in prayer was to be the foundation in which the love,
training, meals and lectures were to be given! We wanted our leaders to
understand that the essence of ministry and passing on of ideals
involves every aspect of life, whether to our children or those whom we
seek to influence and draw to Christ.

And
so Clay and I prayed and planned and God provided the most amazing team
of women to join in this venture that we could imagine–cooks for the
meals, flower arrangers, administrative geniuses who put the
transportation, speakers order, roomates, and correspondence together,
van drivers to the airport and back; a perfect hostess and home to
share in the meetings, a hospitality coordinator; a greeter and
training the children who helped person; a hostess for our
international attendee who needed days in America for jet lag and for
buying books for her children, and a team of our children to serve at
every possible point. These women were angels provided by God Himself.

God
answered our prayers abundantly in every way. The precious women who
attended had such passionate hearts and a willingness to enter into the
very intensive training. Our speakers gave wholeheartedly from their
lives and storehouse of convictions. The children who were called upon
to serve gave with enthusiam and grace.

All
in all we were so very blessed and pray that these normal, sweet
mommies, will be used by God’s spirit to turn the world upside down,
even as the disciples did, because of their call by God to pass on
these Biblical messages by faith in the power of the Holy Spirit as
they walk their own story out faithfully right where they are. Here are
some pictures of our wonderful memories together! Blessings to you all
as you are back home.

Press on the link to see all of our fun slideshow from all of the lovely pictures!

Momheart Pictures!

Filed Under: Beauty, Conferences, Ministry, People, Relationships