Is it possible to be beyond weary to the bones? A week of a speaking trip in Canada for 3 days,different time zones, many conversations with sweet friends and lots of people, and did I say, little sleep? …..
Coming home to 11 people in our home for a week of speech and debate finals from the crack of dawn until 10 or later at night;
with meals and lots of life and fun; driving, judging, talking, serving;
Finally, Saturday night before the final awards, Joy calling at 5 p.m., “Can I bring 8 more kids home for dinner tonight?” to add to our already 11. A quick chicken enchilada casserole thawed from the freezer.
“Let’s throw together a quick after party at our house after the awards ceremony,” from another one of my children, who was throwing themselves fully into the activity and celebration of the week.
A quick trip to Walmart, candles lit, porch lights ablaze and 38 people showing up on the spur of the moment for snacks and chattering and antics of stories everywhere, loud piano and music, laughter and weary adults falling on the couches as the teens clamored for a little more time together.
Sending off our precious friends to Texas Sunday morning at 9:30.
Asthma, a respiratory infection, still nagging, still hanging on, a deep tightening in my chest, reflecting shortness of breath, but putting one foot in front of the other was a practiced habit….
Preparing a luncheon for 11, that had been postponed twice for a group trip overseas by 1 Sunday and cleaning up after everyone had gone, while the rest of the family was out at a church activity.
Tea time and dinner and a movie, for our last guest, who was ill on the couch and yet so sweetly patient.
Finally, at 10:00, thinking about falling into bed just to stay alive, did I say, beyond weary to the bone, if possible,
when I passed Joy’s bedroom. (She was out at her very last speech party, with friends and comrades.)
Piles everywhere–strewn clothes on chairs, floor; shoes, speech ballots and paper all over the floor, dirty tea cups, plates with crumbs in them, and unmade bed with stuff here and there…….an overall mess…….
She was not being irresponsible, she had given her all–practicing, writing, dressing, running from room for room for giving over 30 speeches, adrenalin spilled, energy expended. Her bedroom was a reflection of our weeks.
If I were her, I would not want to come home to such a mess.
I know what it is like to return from conference weekends to a messy bedroom when you are beyond tired. It oppresses one to think of more work and more effort……
And so with one last weary push, I hung clothes, stacked papers into neat piles, picked up all the dishes, folded her sheets and covers into a straight and welcome turn down for needed sleep, placed shoes in the closet, picked up random things off the floor and placed beloved stuffed animals in the proper place of old, when she as a child loved their welcome.
When she returned at midnight, she would see love all over her bedroom, a little more ordered place, where rest would come more easily, because I needed to do unto her as I would have her do unto me–if I had been so weary and in need of an angel to straighten my room.
The next day, a facebook picture of her, me and Sarah–with a sweet message–you and Sarah–two of my most favorite people–
her heart saw the love, her sweet thankfulness spilled the next morning–”Mama, you are the best. Thanks for the gift of straightening my room.”
It is in the small moments of choices of love spilled out once again, where hearts are knit together and open for influence.
It is in doing unto others as we would have them do unto us……….
Emails pile up, requests for more of my time and body stacking up as the outside world strives for my attention–but my inner circle, my children, my husband, Jesus waiting for me to listen to Him–they are the ones who get my first best–
and if there is nothing left to give, the world will have to wait for just another little while, as I seek to keep peace and a heart to serve in the center of my home.
PS Today, join me at Momheart.org for an article about being a strong friend with your precious children!