The Girls
“I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.”
After a whole package of bacon, a loaf of homemade bread toasted and swimming in bubbling butter, scrambling cheese eggs and pouring countless cups of tea and coffee, I gathered my 4 children into the living room together, for one more moment to point all of them, at one time, to Him–the one who is my life and strength.
When they are all over the world–Oxford, Hollywood, Boston, Colorado Springs, I often wonder, while on my knees, “Are they still walking with God? Are they being influenced by the world? Are their hearts loyal?” It is such a hard world they live in.
I do not always like what I have to walk through. I am Pollyanna and want life to be easy, neat, clean with no issues–
but my life has never been that way, and I still have to walk through the messes and stresses that each day and each child brings.
But as their mom, they look to me to see how I am walking through them and what choices I make, a moment at a time, to live in faith amidst it all.
But in the four days when we will be together, I must steal this moment, one more time to be intentional, to point them to the One who is truth. I do what we did every day for years and years and take them with me before the throne of God and look into the heart of God and into His word.
And so I begin, “I know you have heard all of this before. But I have only this morning, while all of you are home together, to share my heart with you and to pray for you.”
It is a rare moment for me–to have a 28 year old, 26, 23, and 17 all in one room, all sipping, munching and together–wondering–did the work of my life take root. Is this motley crew, this group called Clarkson, attuned to what we have always held fast to–together, one day at a time.
But, this intention to not waste the opportunity to one more time document the eternal One who holds our lives, is the focus and strength of all that I am as a mother.
And so I ask, “What is the anchor, the verse, the foundational focus of your life right now? What is giving you strength to hold fast to the ideals we have always cherished in our home?”
And then, all four, in the midst of chatter, antics, even still the wiggling like they did when they were little, pour out their hearts honestly, naturally, comfortable still with our habit of gathering to talk about what really matters–
and the comfort and miracle for me is that each one is holding fast to the Word of God.
The boys
Nate–”Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for a friend–it is my model, my goal, to lay down my life and serve.”
Joel, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Sarah, “Ephesians 1, “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you may know what is the hope of your calling, …..”
Joy, “Without faith, it is impossible to please God, ….., and the heroes of faith who followed hard after Him.”
And so I sit here, in my small room, exhausted from making all the meals, the dishwasher that decided to break just before they all got home making my burden a little more, putting up with the stress of 4 young adults straining towards life with differing personalities, always issues of finances, health, love interests, life decisions–honestly it all wears me out and I feel so small and inadequate at times.
But in my living room, this weekend, amidst all the messes of our lives, I saw eternity in their hearts, faith that informs and leads and gives strength and the God who is leading them all. There was a miracle in this quiet moment, unobserved by the world, but celebrated in heaven,
4 children seeking on their own, to follow hard after Him–that is the miracle I have always hoped for and here amidst jammies and tossled hair, I saw the hand of God.
“With God, all things are possible.”
It is all too much for me to handle or control because at times, my heart is faint and my faith challenged, knowing I do not hold all the answers
–but in His hands, and by His faithfulness, somehow they were all listening, they all took heart nad believed, and I know as they all go back to their arenas and lives today, God will already be with them, ahead of me and waiting for them, and ready to show His faithfulness.
There is an illusion out there that some women have it all together–but really, it is only women who trust God to have it all together, that will ever have the hope that their labor of love will ever amount to anything–
Nothing is impossible for Him.
I am not and have never been up to the task, as I fail and fall short every day–but the miracle is that he took my paltry offerings, my little basket of fish and loaf faith, and made it, in His hands, enough,
So today, this early morning, as I prepare to send the first two away at the airport, I again come, begging before the throne of grace,
“Please, Father, you keep them. You hold them. You lead their hearts back to you every day–and unless you provide for them–they will have no hope. But I know that you are the one who provides and so I leave it all in your hands.”
And now, I again move slowly to the tea kettle and toaster to send them off with all the love I can muster, but with the knowledge that I have never been enough, but He is always enough and in Him, I rest it all and wait to see, one more time what He will do.
Never, not one day in my whole life have all of my ducks been in a row. But one more time, I see that He is the one who holds it together and who makes it work, and one more day, my life will move on in His strength and in His abundant faithfulness.
“My grace is sufficient for you. My power is perfected in your weakness.”
This post is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO encouraging to me today. The Lord is in control…He takes our small offerings of obedience as a sweet smelling savor and works all things for His good.
I love these photos of your family!!
Monday blessings & grace sent your way!
What an encouraging post! Thank you! How would you suggest to get started for families who are not in this habit of talking/praying together? I’m afraid my kids would think it’s “dumb” and uncomfortable. It probably would feel like the latter, honestly. But after seeing your post, I long to be able to have this type of relationship with all of the kids.
Well, my eyes are blurred with tears as I type. You never cease to inspire and encourage me. All the way from feeling ‘Oh, how I wish I had a mother like you, praying, encouraging, caring about not just the temporal issues, but the eternal issues in her children’s lives’ (though I love my mother dearly.) To wow God, please help me to be diligent to pray on my knees and to be able to enter into the hearts of my children, even when they are grown. That they would see past my scattered ducks, and regretful failures, and see the love of a mother who adores her children. A mother who desires not just for them to have a blessed, peaceful life…but to know their creator in such a way that their strong faith in Him will sustain them, fill them, and give them EVERYTHING they need. Sally, I just love you and your heart. You have touched me and how I wish I could give you a big hug to thank you. I’ll try at the next momheart conference;0) Praying for you, and desiring to touch some mommies hearts like you have touched mine.
I second this with one great big AMEN!! This is exactly how I feel. Thank you Sally…for always being such an inspiration and encouragement. I wish I could burn this into my heart for all those moments I feel inadequate and unable to cope. He is our sustenance and He has it all in His hands. God bless you!
How can one heart feel such anguish and such overwhelming joy and delight all at once? It is summarized in your post today … it is a mother’s heart in watching her children launch into lives of their own, making decisions and acting independently. Watching with joy, pushing away all the worry and fears every mother wrestles with. Allowing the tears to flow, bittersweet, as the works of our life march onward into their own lives … into the Paths where He will lead them. He promised He would, and His grace and mercy never disappoint. This is my comfort as I walk the quiet halls of my house, marked with a lifetime of memories. He is my comfort as I too begin the march … He will lead. He always does. And I face forward, hand in His, ready for the next dance.
I too felt inadequate and small this past weekend, and I thank you for this post. It’s hard in the overwhelming times to remember that though I am not enough, He is.
I feel a little guilty at times when I receive e-mails from women who have children who have “gone prodigal”. With all that has happened over the years, it is absolutely my best answer to prayer of all time that my kids walk with him and now to know both are married to a partner I know will help them remain on that path.
Christopher went through a dark time for awhile, mostly brought about by challenges with other Christians and that need to know what is really Truth. I spent a lot of time praying in those years!
Now there are grandchildren to pray for…
As I’ve said before, your four kids are PROOF that what you and Clay teach is TRUTH.
So beautiful. My little dear ones are only 5 and 3, and I am teaching them our faith little by little, day by day. And I’m always praying they will be faithful. Your prayers for your children mirror mine, and I know I have years ahead of praying. What a lovely example of faithful motherhood your are offering us.
I’m so glad I found you! I so long to be in your shoes in 18 years when all five of my children will be on their own. Your words have brought perspective and purpose to my day. Thank you for being transparent and for being willing to be used by Him, both in the lives of your children and in the lives of perfect strangers.
Dear Sally,
Discovering your blog several months ago came as an answer to my prayers of years to find an experienced, loving mother who could talk to my heart and touch my own mom’s heart with love and encouragement. Yes, with God all things are possible! Just before I discovered your blog I spoke with a monk of my longing. And then I found and listened to your words, pouring with wisdom, humility, love for God and understanding, and the words have not only reassured me but helped explain why I have felt unwanted and unimportant my whole life (despite always trying my best to do the right thing). I’ve forgiven my own mother without need of explanation; in fact, I pray for her happiness. Now I allow myself feel happy and good about dedicating myself to my wonderful children and husband, and most of all, my heart has been feeling wonderfully free and content. Someone sees the hard work that I love to do! And I see my amazing children, my loving husband, and I take the time now more than ever to give thanks to God for all this. Everyday. Thank you for your blessings and your love, anuradha
This was so soothing and encouraging to my Mommy heart today! Yes and Amen!! Thank you for sharing! You are a blessing.
On a humorous note, I read the title of your post, and it started out (after saying you felt small) with talking about a package of bacon. Made me laugh out loud! I am reading your daughter, Sarah’s book, I a grandmother of 7 and all mine out of the house for a good 10 years. Her book will not only point the way to the feeding of my own soul, it’s wonderful for choosing books to read and to give as gifts to those 7 grandchildren. (Oh the section on picture books – I can’t wait to get to the bookstore!) I also have been feeling a bit small myself and decided to re-read your Dancing With My Father. I just today thought, ‘if Sally could see how I am absolutely destroying this book it would please her.’ My daughter, Sarah recently lent me some of the CD’s from your recent homeschool conference in TX and – through several hours of talks – one comment of yours really struck me. You said, and I don’t remember the exact words, that you were satisfied with how your children had turned out. That they loved the Lord and you and your husband. I too can say that of our three, and it was a blessing to me to be reminded to focus on the most important, and let all the rest of it fall from my hands. Thank you for being such a blessing to me through your words.
“even still the wiggling like they did when they were little” That made my heart smile. It reminded me of when you told me that our children’s personalities are not going to change and we just have to love them the way God made them.
What a blessing. Thanks for letting us see into your heart and home. LOVED the pictures!
Hugs,
Michelle
Outstanding! Thank you for reminding me that “He is the one who holds it together and who makes it work,” not ever me. I can rest…and let Him. I can breathe again. Ahhh.
Always the reminders I need!
Sally, you are so inspiring and help me tremendously on my journey in motherhood. I am currently reading Educating the WholeHearted Child which I checked out from the library but will be purchasing my own copy…it’s that awesome! God bless you.
“I am not and have never been up to the task, as I fail and fall short every day–but the miracle is that he took my paltry offerings, my little basket of fish and loaf faith, and made it, in His hands, enough,
Oh how I never feel up to the task… but for some reason He chose me to be the mother of my children. Thank you for this post. I fail daily. But I am soooo thankful that as a couple of my children are reaching adulthood, that God gives me those glimpses of Him working in their lives. Nothing, does my heart more good than to see them serving the Lord, or sitting in the same pew with their hands lifted in PRAISE!! I am so blessed!!!
Oh dear Sally, I just love you to pieces! Your posts are like little gifts I open, always refreshing and challenging and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your life with us, and for the many ways you’ve impacted me and my own family!!
p.s. Re-reading “The MomWalk”–so good, SO good!
This made me cry, picturing my children scattered about and only being able to snatch a day or two, maybe facing going years without having all my children together at once. I am preparing to graduate my very first and the thought of her going away is overwhelming. I know God will provide the grace when I need it, but I suppose the dread of it is an excellent reminder to me to enjoy each moment and love intentionally each day. <3
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