Now it happened one day that he went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the household was there inside. She caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me!” And he left his garment in her hand and fled, and went outside. Genesis 39:11-12
Once upon a time, a boy met a girl and they fell in love. They started having children right away and were very happy for 25 years. The family had a successful business, in which all of the men were involved- Daddy, Brother’s and Brother-in-Law. The marriages in this tightly-knit group were strong and happy. Grandchildren began to come along. What joy! The baby girl of the family loved all of the love in her home and cherished every moment that they were all together. Everyone around them admired this family. They were a close bunch with wonderful holidays, vacations and lots of ”just doing life together happily.” Then, one day, everything changed.
The Mom became interested in another man. Then another, and sadly to say, another. It was as if someone else had occupied the once doting mother. Then the divorces started to happen. Within one year, the parents, and both brothers marriages ended in divorce. The Mother turned to alcohol and suicide attempts to soothe her hurting soul. Then, as if to punish herself for all of her sins, she married another man, but this man physically beat her and put her in the hospital with serious injuries. The Mother died a few years later of an illness which was brought on by a broken heart, alcohol abuse, and a guilty conscience.
Sadly to say, this was my family and I was the little girl that loved the once close ties that we all shared in our little group. For many years, I felt lost and abandoned and kept looking back to the way things used to be. But then God rescued me, saved me, and gave me the beautiful Christian life complete with my precious and Godly husband that I get to spend the rest of my life with. This is the life I have always wanted. What a blessing!
Why do I tell you all of this? Because I see many women making bad decisions and not looking ahead to what their life could be like if they keep flirting with temptation. There is a reason that God gave us the story of Joseph with Potiphar’s wife. My favorite part of the story, and what I believe is the most important part is that Joseph fled- he ran! He did not argue, he did not reason, he fled. I think that this is exactly what God would have us to do when we are in a tempting situation.
I have been a fitness instructor for many years and have been in the gym and have seen many affairs in the making. They start off something like this- Girl is working out and says “Hi” to Guy, then they start chatting then decide it would be more fun to work out together. Then they go to lunch, on outings, and well, you know what happens next. I have seen it time and time again. The only thing left is a ripped up marriage with confused children that have to go between Mom and Dads separate houses. This was my life too- I lived in both Mom and Dads houses and it was not fun.
I realize that many of you dear readers may have gone through a terrible divorce, many of which were not your fault. God definitely gives us grace and promises to be your husband. He will cover over everything and help you to raise your children up for Him. I am mainly addressing this article, and frankly, trying to give a bit of reality to family life after an affair- it’s not pretty. There is a reason God says is Proverbs 5 that the adulteress’ “feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave” and He says to ” Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.” God wants us to stay faithful because He knows what’s best for our family, and for our heritage. Your decision to stay faithful or cheat will bless or curse your lineage after you. I saw it in my own family. My brother is now a homosexual and has no contact with his grown children. There was alcohol abuse in my family for many years. I had a time in my life where I was completely lost until the Lord found me. There are consequences to sin, and many times, it is the children who suffer.
The Bible says “ The heart is deceitful above all things, and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” In our heart is where it all begins. I realize that many women can be Facebook friends with an ex- boyfriend and it’s no big deal. I know that a lot of women can go to lunch with their “guy friends” and it does not affect their marriage. For me personally, after seeing what it did to my parents marriage I lean more towards the side of “running.” Remember, we have “an Enemy that prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him and he will flee from you.” 1 Peter 5:8. The Devil does not want you to stay married. He wants your family, he wants your children.
So what do you do if you are being tempted? Run! Get away. Don’t reason, don’t rationalize, just run! Pray, pray, pray for God’s help. He will help you. Be honest. Tell the truth about how you are feeling. Confess. The devil has power over you as long as you keep it a secret. Stay married. Go to counseling. Have friends pray for you and keep you accountable. Also, if your man has been unfaithful or if you have already been unfaithful, get back together. Try like crazy in the power of the Holy Spirit to work it out. God will help you. I feel like my family would have been much better off in the long run if my parents could have worked it out. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. This is why Christ came- to forgive us our sins and help us to live a happy, godly life. You are not alone.
Deb Weakly, friend, mom of 2 children, with a heart for God and mamas that never stops.