For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT
Masterpiece n. A work or piece of art or literature done with consummate skill or showing the hand of a master; a supreme accomplishment; chef-d’oeuvre.
If your like me, most days you don’t feel like a masterpiece…a chef-d’oeuvre. On the outside or the inside. Things sag, this tummy just hasn’t gone back to where it was, and lines are showing up more and more in my face.
Yet, God says we are his masterpiece. Feel it or not, it is true.
This year has brought with it a battle in my mind, to speak truth and life over myself that I am his masterpiece instead of voices of self-doubt and failure. My quiet, lizard loving 8 year old has been diagnosed with dyslexia. After 2 years of struggling to read you would think this would be a relief. And it was, sort-of.
Two months after this diagnosis, on a 10 year anniversary trip, (four years late mind you) I plunged into recommended books on dyslexia. Ahhh, time and space to read overlooking palm trees and ocean, what a gift to my heart! Yet, half way through the first book alligator tears filled my mouth and the blindfold was gently untied. This. Book. Is. Describing. Me. To. A. T.
The more I read the more I had flashes of memories vivid as daylight, failing the times tables test in the 3rd grade, getting a D in Spanish, the tummy aches over tests, fear of being ‘found out’ that I truly didn’t know what I was doing. I laughed and I cried. But ultimately, a dark cloud descended.
And I let it. “I have 4 children.” “I can’t keep my drawers & closet clean, how in the world will I help them.” The stacks of papers. The constant keeping up of stuff and things that have babies overnight. What have I done? I am not cut out for this life mothering children. It’s overwhelming. Lies entangled me like the vines that choke out a trees life.
In first grade my parents put me in a private school 3 months into the year. My teacher had cancer. She wore a bandana. My Mom says she would often find me crying about Mrs. Miller. I was so worried about her, I couldn’t learn.
I love people. I am deeply compassionate. I am a romantic idealist. I am not a good speller, I cannot remember peoples names for the life of me, I constantly pull the wrong word out of my brain when I am seeing the right one. I have minor panic attacks over where ——- is almost daily.
But, I do know how to love. To listen empathetically. To write from my heart. To encourage and cast vision.
God loves people. He is not that interested in our bigness, wealth, popularity, or supremacy. He is interested in our relationship with Him and our relationship with people. -Matthew Barnet
I have fought to believe that I can live my life, that I can learn new skills, that I can ask for help with organization and learn how to use the notes app on my phone when people give me verbal directions that I know I can’t hold onto. I have leaned into Jesus big time.
And he is coming for me, empowering me to be my kids Mom, messy and disorganized as I am. And it is beautiful.
What areas of your life feel daunting as a Mom? Have you asked Jesus to come for your heart in this area? Invite Father to come for you. Then watch and wait.
As I shared with some heart friends about my journey into the honest realities of what being a dyslexic adult looks my friend, Dena offered her mad organizing skills. I was shocked! Really? You will enter my world and look at all my messy junk drawers and help me make sense of them? You will still love me after you see my chaos? Risky indeed to let someone into the messes of my world, but oh so hopeful to have some better systems.
This week Dena came. For two days we worked. Pulling everything out. Listening to Mumford & Sons. We made a plan and both went to work. It was not so overwhelming having a friend by my side. We made progress. We laughed. We drank coffee.
I pulled all the plastic frames down from the stairway and put them on the kitchen table. I told her I wanted to see these more often and I wanted my children to see these pictures more often as well. I want to be reminded of our story and our love for one another.
To be reminded of what really matters in life. People.
Then today I stopped in one of my favorite stores to find a long wooden board that says, “The Most Important Things In Life Aren’t Things.” I bought it and hung it below the pictures Dena put on my wall. There was a perfect spot waiting for it. Father loves to do things like that for us, doesn’t he!?! What love!
May we walk on through the inadequacies of our lives, believing we are who God says we are. His masterpiece. Created for good things that he planned for us long ago.
But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8