Holding Their Hearts

Family

As the radio blares one of his favorite groups, we sing and dance as much as the confines of the car will let us. I am sure, to the oncoming traffic, we look hysterically funny! I don’t mind one bit. I’m holding my son’s heart, reaffirming how much I like him and gaining his confidence. I’m investing in our relationship.

It’s past time for bed and she want to practice “their dance”. It’s the one she and her daddy will dance at her wedding. Although she is only 10, and her definition of married life means she gets married and she and her hubby live with us, she must practice. So he gets up and moves through the routine of steps and twirls. They’re going to be pretty good when we finally let her get married at 45! {giggle} It’s more than a dance…he’s holding her heart & gaining her trust. He’s investing in their relationship.

The late night talks. The cuddles on a cold morning. A cup of coffee when no one else is awake. The extra special pink milk. The loud music, that I like…but isn’t my first choice. The spin around the kitchen island. They are all small efforts that have lasting effects on the hearts of our children.

As my children grow into independent young adults, I still want to hold their hearts. I want to have their trust, their friendship, the privilege of gentle guidance that trusted companions allow one another. When they are children, we mold them and lead them. But as adulthood tiptoes in, independence blossoms. Independence is a GOOD thing! We want our children to be independently dependent on God as they walk in adulthood. Independence in young adults is NOT to be confused with rebellion. Giving our children the power to make decisions and letting them practice in a protected setting is the perfect way to breed healthy independence they will need as adults. It is also the way to remain their confidant and friend.

“Train up a child in the way that he should go and
when they are old they will not depart from it.” (Prov 22:6)

This is a promise of the Lord…with a condition. TRAIN up a child. Not preach at the child. Not yell the rules at them. Not live by the ‘do as I say not as I do’ motto. NO! Training is time consuming. It takes effort. It takes repetition. Love. Character. Long nights. Acting Silly. Hot chocolate and their favorite snacks. As a parent it demands trust and sympathy toward our children.

Train: (verb) to teach a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time. To point or aim something.  Synonyms: Instruct, teach, coach, tutor, school, educate, ground, aim, point, focus, or direct.

Scripture tells us that children are arrows in our quiver (Psalms 127:4). Arrows are meant to be shot from the bow. But the arrow is at the hand of the archer. Where ever the archer guides or trains the arrow…so it goes.

Where are you training your arrow to fly? Is the arrow in your hand strong and straight for your leading, or is it crooked and flying off in a new and uncertain direction. If you find your arrows are a little bent…pray. Simply ask the Lord to guide you to capture the hearts of your children. When He answers you, act. Don’t let another opportunity to touch the heart of your children pass by. It is never too late! “For I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not evil, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jer 29:11)

Our children won’t be children much longer. We are working, intentionally, to invest in them while they still live under our roof and are under our covering as their parents. If listening to music and acting a little strange while we dance in the car reaffirms to my son that he’s the best…what a SMALL price to pay in securing a healthy relationship down the road! If a twirl around the island is what it takes to hold the trust and confidence of my daughter in his hands…my husband is more than willing to dance a million times around the island. We know their childhood is fleeting and they will be grown all too soon, so we are investing, singing, dancing and laughing. We are developing lifelong companions as our children step from childhood into adulthood. We are holding their hearts.

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Comments

  1. Keri Brown says

    Lovely post! Thank you for this reminder to make the most of the little years in aiming our arrows in the right direction. It seems that while I’m well aware of this principle, I require frequent reminders to keep me from being pulled away from that important task by the “urgency” of daily chores and busyness. I appreciate hearing this wisdom today to remind me!

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