How to Speak the Vision of God’s Best Into the Lives of our Children

Gwynedd Wales Conway Castle

Gwynedd Wales Conway Castle


Do you ever have days, as a mom, that you feel like you’re surrounded inside high castle walls with no route of escape? And harder still, maybe instead of the “enemy” being locked on the outside of those thick walls, they are trapped in there with you?

Now we all know in our hearts that our kids are the furthest thing from our enemies, BUT there are days when our heads pound with what we are confronted with…when all we seem to face is opposition and battle! And we can feel imprisoned – totally unsure of how to deal with the attitudes and behaviors that are literally staring us in the face.

Sixteen years of mothering – five kids later – I’d have to say I’ve juggled more than a little defiance and insubordination within my castle walls, and there is something I have come to realize…God calls us, as moms, to step up on the castle walls and look beyond what we see right in front of us.

In fact, I believe He desires to fill us with vision for what lies ahead in their futures and not just observe what is right before us with our little warriors.

Let me explain: when I feel surrounded by the discouragement of conduct that flies in the face of what I desire to see pouring out of my children, I have learned to call upon a principle that I find in God’s Word. It says in Romans 4:17 that, “He calls things that ARE NOT as though THEY WERE.”  Think about that in relation to our own castles…

If we were to call out what we know God desires for our children, instead of just criticizing what we are faced with, it changes our whole approach!

Maybe you already do this on a regular basis, or maybe you tried it for a few weeks and didn’t see change – I will say it is a job, this role of mothering. And the results we want to be instantly rewarded with may be a few years down the road, BUT the years inside my castle walls have given me vision to see beyond the fights and I want to encourage you to NOT GIVE UP.

Our little castle dwellers will test every button that God has built into us, and some days we will be sure the castle walls are going to cave in for all the tremors they are enduring. Our children do need to be lovingly disciplined and issues addressed, but don’t stop there! Take hope and keep calling things (miserable attitudes, frightening behaviors, angry words) that are not as though they were (loving attitudes, patient behaviors, kind words)!  When we do this we can hold hands with God to help draw out all the good that He has in their futures.

 Will you share the beauty you see in your children with us below in the comments? Let’s celebrate together the work we know God is doing in their lives.

***Thank you for making this launch week so much fun! The winners of this week’s many Rafflecopter Giveaways will be announced on the blog next week! Stay tuned!

The 24 hours of the .99 on Amazon is now over, but as an almost full length book, I think you will enjoy it and be blessed at the normal price of $4.99! We were so happy that we were able to do a 24 hour deal for so many of you. Thanks for making the launch such a wonderful blessing to us, who work on the blog and books just for you! You were amazing!


“The wisdom and guidance in this read is yet another of Sally’s wonderful admonitions on how to raise a family with grace and love. There are many practical applications, suggestions, hints and admonitions to guide the mother daily in the things that truly matter. You will be encouraged to drop formulas behind and to embrace what God has for you and your family and will inspire you to have a vision for the many things God has prepared for you.”

Amazon Review

You can get the book here.

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  1. Erin says

    Can you please give a real-life example of a calling miserable attitude a positive one? I’m confused. Thank you!

    • Judy says

      I hope Kristen doesn’t mind me commenting on this.

      I think perhaps it means that when you are correcting the poor attitude you can also be saying things like “I know you can speak kindly, and that’s what Jesus’ tells us pleases Him, and He even tells us He will help us if we ask Him. I’m sure you will remember that next time…” It may also mean reminding them of a time when they, or a sibling, did speak kindly and how that made for a very different ending to what might otherwise have been a quarrel.

    • says

      Thanks so much for reading, Erin, and taking the time to comment. And thanks to Judy, who is definitely on the trail of my thinking with her examples. Let me see if I can expand…it applies on different levels for me; one, as was given in the example of encouraging our children that they are capable of more, but second, and more important for me is to BELIEVE – by faith, that God is going to help my children rise above these petty moments, awful attitudes and things we face daily as we work with our kids. I often feel that the direction I set with my words to my children is the path they will head down — so if I feel like there is no hope in their actions changing, they will pick up on that and settle with miserable behaviour, but if I call out what is yet to be, I am telling that God has more in store for them and calling them UP to a higher standard by God’s grace!
      Hope that helps — God bless you as a mom! It is an awesome task.

  2. says

    I so got this blog today. I am a mom of 7 children. Just when I thought I was in the clear, now I am in the teenage years which a part of me feel they are harder than keep repeating my self with the younger ones. I am in so many different seasons. My oldest is 17, 11, 9, 5, 4, 3, and 1. I feel as though some days I can’t see the top of my walls much less climb them and see.

  3. Alicia says

    I’d love to hear examples too! What a great way to speak hope and courage in to our children. I *think* I may be doing this some, but would love to hear the author speak to some examples in her family! Thanks!!

      • says

        Sharon, thanks for taking the time to read and comment — it is a hard to give specific examples, although I’ve tried to share a bit more above, but the key for me is not letting discouragement override my moments when I FEEL like there is no hope. It is looking beyond the “I can’t believe you are doing this again!!” times and offering grace and hope to our kids. They often need to be encouraged that they are capable of more too, don’t they? Trust you will be encouraged as mom! Blessings.

    • says

      Alicia, please see my comment above to Erin, and be encouraged that you probably are already doing this — it is a daily believing for more than what we see with our eyes…getting up on those “walls” and seeing that God is able to make our children into beautiful men and women of grace but it is a long process and it’s okay if we are not seeing the results right away. Be blessed!

      • Alicia says

        Thank you Kristen for your kind reply! Yes, it helped along with your other replies to others above. Appreciate this encouragement!

  4. Laurie says

    I would like a copy of this book but I don’t own a Kindle and I live in a country where I can’t get a Kindle. Is it possible to download the booklet?

    • veronica murray says

      You can get the free “kindle app” on almost any phone, tablet or computer. Then you can download it . Hope this helped.

  5. Susan says

    Hi Kristin,
    So well-reminded by this post of a concept Sally often talks about in her books! Can you please share the Bible translation you used for this verse? I’m trying to look it up in context and can’t find this wording in any of the ones I’ve looked at so far… thanks!

  6. Kris says

    This is a great encouragement. The funny or ironic thing is that I know what to say, it’s just I don’t. It is so much easier to give vent to the flesh and be critical and shaming when I see bad attitudes and shocking heart issues. Here is what I need to say to my 12 year old son after finding the laundry stuffed behind the dryer instead of folded, for the second time:
    “Good morning mighty boy of God and child of the Light. I know that your hands are diligent and you do everything as unto The Lord. Now, rise up and fold that laundry. We will talk later about your consequences for deceiving and laziness.”

  7. Angie says

    Thank you Kris!…I love your “what I need to say”. I’m in that boat with you — your first paragraph.

    Rom 8:37 says “But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.” Let’s be CONQUERORS over that fleshly venting! Let’s call ourselves and our children conquerors!

    And Eph 3:20 “to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory…”

  8. KM says

    Read all these things with hope: hope that it’s not too late, hope that this battle-weary mama can even survive this tempestuous time of life – where she is physically weary, adrenally and emotionally drained. In her head she knows what words the Lord gave her before the birth of this last one 14 years ago, but in her reality of living it out, seems unbearable. To hear “you are a strong woman, you can take it” repeated over and over is becoming old. “The warrior is a child.”

  9. acwilliams says

    I am dealing with this very thing right now! I have a really hard time controlling my rant button. I thank you for this insight, and a new idea on how to respond to the bumps in the road. I have a (almost) 16 year old daughter and 11 year old son. Yeah, pray for me! :) I need to remember how much mercy and grace God gives me day after day and give them the same. I wish I had the longsuffering that He does!

  10. Erin Monasterio says

    I truly believe this! I once saw a Christian speaker who was having a very hard time with one child in particular. She said she even went so far as to speak over him and to him actions and behavior that he wasn’t even showing, but that she knows God calls us to show. For example, at different times of the day or before he went to bed, she would tell him, “I love your positive attitude”, “Thank you for your obedience”, “You are such a leader and good example in our home”. She would claim those verbal truths out loud for and to her son and she said over time, he actually became more like that and she saw a transformation from his negative, argumentative ways.

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