Georgios Jakobides The First Steps
O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me. Psalm 131
I have noticed that when I am too busy and have taken responsibilities on my shoulders that only God can carry, I become harsher. When I am too busy and have overcommitted, I lose a love the things that are normally important to me. I care less for the lost; have little patience for my children; tend to see people as irritating (What was that driver in that car thinking? Can’t believe anyone would drive that way! or “That lady was soooooo slow in the check out line at Walmart!) God is a distant thought that I glance toward with guilt thinking He must be disappointed with me because I just haven’t had time for Him, but I have just been so busy………
Fretting is also a part–Fretting about money, life, family, children, church, ministry, duties, Christmas, gifts, housework, burdens–fretting, fretting–taking so much energy, so much thought life—and the Psalms say, “Fret not, it leads only to evil doing.” (Psalm 37:8)
And then I tend to become cynical. “I do so much, and there is no one to help.” And of course, “If I don’t do it or take responsibility, no one else will.”
It is so easy to begin to live a works oriented life, and then to think without me, things will fall apart. Then I become weary. Then I say, “Lord, don’t you care that I am drowning?!” or “Tell Mary to come in here. I am doing all the work myself!”
God is not biting His nails wondering if I am going to get it all done. He is not the great abuser in heaven just waiting to give me more than I can handle. And so, slowly, I have had to learn, if I am consistently feeling too much stress, too much weight on my shoulders, I have not given it to Him and or, I am attempting to do things that He has never asked or expected me to do.
Jesus did not go into the world Himself. He stayed local, humble, quiet, and yet His message, in God’s hands, changed the world.
“I am humble and meek. Learn from me.” Again, I learn from this verse.
If He was humble and not in a hurry and still accomplished God’s will–and not all the blind and sick were healed, then I can trust these mysteries into His hands.
A good father would not expect his little child to carry the load. He would carry the load and the fragile child.
I find I have so much on my plate to do, that the only thing I can do is re-access; cut back; only focus on the agenda that He has set.
Burning out
I am old enough to have lived through so many women who burned out–in ministry, in homeschooling, in jobs, in ideals—burn, burn, burn and then all that is left is ashes. It is a cultural value to be busy and to justify ourselves by our activities.
Last Spring, I met with a young woman. She said, as many young women have said, “Sally, God is just opening so many doors for me, I just have to be a good steward of my opportunities.” (as her exhausted teen daughter was pushing her toddler in a stroller behind her, and complaining that her mom just never had time for her.) This happens to me a lot–young women who have stars in their eyes from money that can be made, audiences that can be found, numbers that can build up.
I have never had more opportunities come my way as now, but I do not like what I see going on in my heart and soul, and so, I am convicted that I need to cut back. I am pulling back from expectations. Pulling back from stress. And simplifying.
He needs to be at my center. I need to have peace and quiet in my soul. I can say “no!” no matter how many people there are who seem to need me, so that I can still and quiet my soul. ‘When I wait on Him, I see His power, His provision, His answers–always so much better than me, tiny, little me, trying to play the role of God, when all He wanted me to do was to seek Him, rest in Him and listen to His voice.
So many times the examples He left me–David and Goliath; Joshua marching around a wall; a Jewish nation born from a single child; the fish and the loaves, the oil that was enough every day to make one more loaf.
I am a baby to God, his toddler, “like a weaned child, I will not involve myself in things too difficult for me.”
God is in control. He does not want to abuse me. He does not want me to be neurotic and angry. He wants me to be at peace–sleeping in the boat in the midst of the storm, because I am “leaning on my Father’s strong arms.”
And so, I am waiting on Him before I venture out–the opportunities will always be there, but now is a good time to pace myself, to still my soul, to seek to live more simply, to say yes to my God-given priorities and no to all that will take me away. I could do lots more, but then I would become crazy and grumpy and tight and hard to live with, and living by my own flesh and striving and works–and I cannot hold His hand and behave in such a manner all at the same time.
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.Psalm 62: 1
So, today, on this very busy day, I know that my soul will only find rest in Him–His will, His way!
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Some of these issues, we will ponder together, How can I make it through this journey of motherhood with grace–is it possible?
3 Friends are giving away a ticket to the mom’s conference–be sure to look at their blogs today:
http://womenlivingwell.org (Courtney Joseph–my sweet, encouraging friend.)
http://www.thebettermom.com(Always inspiring, dear friend, Ruth Schwenk)
http://goodmorninggirls.org (Angela Perritt–my gentle, godly friend)
All three will be speaking this year at our conferences. Hope you can come. (For more information, look at button on our sidebar!)
Good sound advice. God never calls us to be in a hurry, because when we are in a hurry, we miss Him.
So very true and what wonderful advice. I truly needed this today…it has been a bit of a crazy day. Thanks Sally.
*sigh* Thank you for speaking God’s loving words to my heart today! Oh how I am there! I’ve blown it with my children and my husband this past weekend because of my expectations and my ‘busyness’. Once I see how my selfishness has hurt them, I am broken. I am so humiliated by my choices. It’s so hard to pick back up again after not treating them as the treasured gifts they are. Your blog helped me stop flogging myself and leave it at the feet of Jesus who is more than enough for me.
Thanks Sally. I just found your site here last week, and as I’ve had time, I’ve been reading through your posts…they have been so encouraging to me. This one hits home today!!
Sally,
Ah, so very timely again for me. I’ve been at the point (again) of thinking ‘All I have – is what I have at home’. How foolish I am sometimes to (keep) thinking that what I do have is not enough – not enough ‘works’, not enough activity, not enough to show, not enough, not enough, not enough!
And yet I have four children whom I homeschool, my husband is at work all day Mon-Fri, I’m alone a lot – unseen. How sly of the enemy to whisper resentment and suggest that I really am not doing the best a Christian should (what a grand way to get me to burn out trying to add other stuff!), and how quick I am to agree.
Jesus plus nothing has been my facebook status today – a reminder to myself that He alone is enough. Your article complimented and confirmed not only what my sweet husband has told me, but also that still, small voice saying that I don’t need to do anything for Him – He’s already done it all – rest, abide in His love. I particularly loved what you said about God not biting His nails!
Thank you again, Sally.
Susan
Sally I loved this!
Do you know if you are able to come to NC this year ? I know last time I checked there was an issue with the hotel that needed to be worked out. I hope so! I want to come!
As always, your blog is a timely blessing. It’s hard to find balance, and like you say, it’s far to easy to find our identity in our activities. I try to remind myself that this mothering period is a season, and once it’s gone – it’s gone. (Kind of the “babies don’t keep” idea…) With my husband’s encouragement, I’ve started a blog recently, and I’ve already had to reign in my time spent on it because I felt like I wasn’t giving proper attention to my house – even though I didn’t work while my daughter was awake or when my husband was home, it still just didn’t feel right to neglect my other responsibilities. (Even though my husband is extremely encouraging – and even is holding me accountable in being diligent in my blogging…..) Alas, I guess it’s a learning curve – the longer I work at it the better at balancing I’ll get, huh? I hope!!
Just the message I need for today. This line says so much: . It is a cultural value to be busy and to justify ourselves by our activities.
Sally,
Yes! “Busy-ness” has become a status symbol. I’ve started gently saying to the folks who are always talking about being busy, “I often hear you say that. Do you enjoy being so busy?” It’s amazing to hear the conversations that ensue. Some really do enjoy their crowded schedules. For the ones who don’t, at least it is an opportunity to encourage them to choose to live differently.
May God give us wisdom and peace to intentionally live our days.
So appreciate this Sally…
Wrote a piece of my heart on all this last night…I especially want what I write to “ring-true” in real-day-to-day-life. Yours is the only post I’ve had a chance to read today and so I think God was giving me a little extra confirmation in this area.
Love,
K
Amen!! Thank you. This is so good and great timing too.
And if I can just keep the title of your post in mind, I’ll be better off.
God bless, and Aloha!
Sally, what a wonderful post! I linked to it on Facebook.
Your post reminds me of some passages from the vintage book What Is Worth While? by Dr. Anna Robertson Brown. Published in 1893, my copy was a gift in the 1930′s from my great-grandmother to my grandmother, who was her daughter-in-law.
“In our thoughts, let us not forget one point, — time spent in being interrupted is not time lost.
A strong thinker once said, “No one knocks at my door who is not sent by God.”
We are spending time well when we are paying it out to God, to buy the things he means our lives to own, whether he is putting before us a duty to be done, a friend to be won, a small service to be rendered, a child to be consoled, or a house to be set in order.
There is time enough given us to do all that God means us to do each day and to do it gloriously!
How do we know but that the interruption we snarl at is the most blessed thing that has come to us in long days?
More quotes from it here: http://virginiaknowles.blogspot.com/2009/11/what-is-worth-while.html
WOW. AGAIN.
I am “neurotic and angry”~~oh how this truth of what you wrote speaks into my life in so many ways….uggh…..I find myself wondering many times, “why am I so grumpy, why am I so irritated with my children, I just need more time”
~~Thank you Virginia…..
Oh, your words speak straight to my heart, dear Sally. Thank you! Thank you!
“God is not biting His nails wondering if I am going to get it all done. He is not the great abuser in heaven just waiting to give me more than I can handle. And so, slowly, I have had to learn, if I am consistently feeling too much stress, too much weight on my shoulders, I have not given it to Him and or, I am attempting to do things that He has never asked or expected me to do.”
- I never realized that’s what I thought of God when I try to hold it all up by myself, but it is. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. So, when I feel that tightness in my chest – I am not resting in the truth of who He is.
Today was a difficult day of getting back into homeschooling for a final three-week-push. It felt like a fight to check the list off. I didn’t hand my burdens over to Him. I could’ve smiled and lived so much more easily.
Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. Your honesty about the struggles of this Path is life-giving indeed.
So true! I’ve been thinking the same things lately. I especially agree with what you wrote here:
“This happens to me a lot–young women who have stars in their eyes from money that can be made, audiences that can be found, numbers that can build up.”
I’m working on a post called, “I’m a Mommy, not a Mompreneur.” (I can email you when it’s up, if you’d like). There are so many talented women working hard in the blogosphere, but honestly, I can’t keep up with blogging daily and homeschooling and raising my precious little ones (six and under) as well as I’d like if I’m trying to work from home. This is not my season for that. It was helpful for me to realize this…took the pressure off. I don’t know how other mommies of littles do it, but as I read today in the study notes in my Bible, we are not to compare ourselves but to focus on fulfilling the responsibilities God has given to each of us individually.
(Sally–if we enter for the conference but happen to win a ticket, could our registration be refunded?? I’m trying to decide whether to register now or wait for the winners to be announced. Thanks!)
(here is a link to my first post on this topic, “I’m A Mommy, Not a Mompreneur”)
http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/11/im-mommy-not-mompreneur-part-1.html
here is the 2nd part…
I’m wondering if feminism has crept into Christian women’s circles?
http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/12/im-mommy-not-mompreneur-part-2.html
This thought, “This happens to me a lot–young women who have stars in their eyes from money that can be made, audiences that can be found, numbers that can build up.” is constantly on my mind. I’ve been a full-time SAHM for a little over a year and have a 5 year old and 2 year old. The first year I was perfectly content to be solely a mom and wife, focusing only on my responsiblities at home. But I recently have started to feel the pull of wanting to add additional responsibilities to my life. I’ve been sort of an entrepreneur since I was kid, always doing some small money making project on the side. When I see so many other successful mothers and entrepreneurs, it is hard to not be drawn to thinking I may be able to do that, too. I am constantly reminding myself that the world’s definition of success and achievement is not God’s.
*Sigh* Sally you are such a blessing! JUST what God has been teaching me, and so well spoken. I wish I could print it on the inside of my eyelids!
LOL thank you!!
Thank you for this Sally. I needed to hear this today… not too long ago my husnabd reminded me that not every opened door, is one I should walk through… and that sometimes, things that seem so good and worthwhile are merely distractions from the TRUE mission we are to be on…. your words today confirm and remind me of this. Christ first.
Blessings, sweet Sally. You are a gift!
“I have noticed that when I am too busy and have taken responsibilities on my shoulders that only God can carry, I become harsher.”
Bam! That one hit me right between the eyes…yesterday, I struggled through harshness — I felt overwhelmed, defeated, unworthy, and shame. And it is true, I am trying to bear the load myself.
Thank you for your encouraging words and insight; they came at just the right time!
I often need to remind myself that the only place I truly AM important is with my own family in my own home. In their lives, I am not replaceable. Everywhere else I am. Thanks so much, Sally, for your consistently wise words; I truly enjoy reading your blog.
Love this. It was right on time for me. Thanks so much.
Amen!! Sally – thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your focus. Thank you for your dedication to fight the right fight. You encourage me so much – thank you for being God’s arms here on earth. This message is exactly the battle I am engaged in right now. These words will be printed out and up on my wall today, encouraging me all the more not to give in to the selfishness and resignation that are waging war within me right now. What fresh air to my soul!! May His blessings abound for you sweet Sally!
Sally, THANK YOU for this.
I don’t care what anyone else says…I know you wrote this for ME!! (haha!)
Seriously, this is why I love your blog and your heart so much. Because you write things that speak directly to my own heart. It honestly does feel like–no matter what post I read here–that God is using your words to encourage ME.
So thank you for allowing Him to have His way with you. I pray that I, too, will be faithful and not give up so that one day (SOON!) the same can be said of me.
Please pray for me. Surely I am on the right track because I feel so much opposition from the enemy.
Love you bunches!
Amy
This was just what I needed today. I was just telling my husband last night how I feel like I’m constantly stressed out because ‘no matter what I’m doing, I should be doing something else’. Mopping the floor, walking the dogs, making dinner, painting the trim that still isn’t done, finishing the hours of organizing from our move 3 months ago, reading my Bible, spending time with my husband, and, of course, being patient and kind to my 1 year old all the while. There’s always something I should be doing better (do I sound like a perfectionist?!) He reminded me to rest in God’s grace. Your post was a perfect follow up and it almost made me cry, and I’m not a crier
God bless you for your encouragement!
This is a trial I have walked through recently. As a young, pregnant mom with two small busy children, I found myself overwhelmed at my load. Mostly to do with my commitments at the church, because of course, you can’t say NO to church….or so I thought. During the Summer after over-extending myself, I saw myself being short with my children, and just trying to “MAKE IT THROUGH” the next church event. I felt God telling me my ministry is at home, and that as a homeschooling mom, my children need my attention. I also had a huge revelation from God about this subject: My husband and I come from very dysfunctional destructive family lines. I feel that we have a chance to change the legacy of our family…by putting Jesus first and teaching our children about a relationship with Jesus, not just the motions. All of a sudden I realized my responsibility as a mother and wife was much greater than I have ever anticipated before. I often wonder what God has planned for me, and when will I do “great things” for Him outside of the home, but if my children come to know and love Jesus, if I play a part in leading them to that, that will be the greatest plan God could ever have for me.
Thank you for your always timely, always godly example. Praying for you!
This is SOOOO good! Thank you!!!
Wow, this really blessed me. Thank you.
Sally, this is so true. Isn’t God so good and kind to lead us this way? I pray you will seek Him in prayer for all you have on your plate and that He will lead you step by step. Thank you for this wonderful post!