Mentoring Monday Honor: The foundation of manners and reverence

Pieter Pietersz

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. 

Fred Astaire 

If a child is to learn to worship God, to give Him the worth, the honor and glory he deserves, he learns the value of honor by seeing it in his family and by practicing it as a way of life.

God tells children to “Honor their mother and father” and in this command is a practice of showing respect, giving worth, humbling one’s self–in short practicing seeing the value in another person. When people are valued, valuing God and worshipping Him is already a pattern in the heart.

Manners must be modelled, trained, valued, so that that which is sacred may be learned through the life of a home. It is one of the best skills and heart attitudes a parent may give to a child.

If there is no place in our lives where we must be hushed, out of reverence, when we enter a place; if vulgarity and crudity of language offers no pang of shame; if there is no sense of reverence in the grid of our lives that requires us to bow our own self in the presence of someone greater, then passing on a sense of awe and humility when we are in God’s presence will be impossible. We practice humility and honor with our peers that we may worthily understand God’s rightful place in our lives as the sovereign over all.

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  1. Suyai says

    Dear Sally,

    I think I’ve said it here before, but I’m not sure. Anyway, I just want you to know how much this mentoring Mondays mean to me. I’m a missionary serving in a developed country where people are too busy to be stay-at-home mums… so I have no one close who has chosen this same path. This usually makes me feel quite lonely, so I look forward to each mentoring Monday as what God does through you is simply amazing. You uplift, encourage, take burdens off my back… and reassure me I’ve chosen a blessed path as I strive to serve Him.

    Thank you, Sally. THANK YOU! xx

    • Sally says

      You are so very, very welcome! It’s really an honor to me to serve through writing. Isn’t God good to us? Bless you, Suyai!

  2. Susan B. says

    Good morning, Sally. Your gentle, uplifting words are just what I need for today. They remind me of Marilla’s charge to Anne Shirley, “You don’t make an important call in kitchen clothes.” I have also been thinking about Marilla’s reprimand to Anne that she should have held her tongue in the face of Rachel’s rudeness because Rachel is her elder and Marilla’s friend.


  3. Mary says

    Thank You! This is the inspiration I needed this week.

    I agree with you, and will work further with my children this week in showing honor.

  4. kelli says

    Mentoring Mondays means so much to this mama. Thank you, thank you for letting God work through you. You have been such a blessing to our family!

  5. says

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart each Monday morning. I so appreciate it! I am also reading through Mission of Motherhood right now and God is doing some heart work on me and our whole family.

    So grateful for both resources.

  6. Joan Girkins says

    This is SO important, Sally! I will ask my children if there is anything that I am doing that is making it difficult for them to honor me. This is a very humbling question to ask, but they know that I want every blessing God has planned for them and therefore, I want to do all that I can to help them to honor me. So, at ages 21, 19, 18 & 16, my children will usually tell me areas that I can work on to help them honor me. It is a beautiful thing and we all benefit as we see God pour out blessings upon us!

    Love Mentoring Mondays! :-)

    • Sally says

      Wow. That is a wise question, friend. And one it must be difficult to hear the answer to, sometimes! I pray God continues to bless you with wisdom as you parent your young adult children.

  7. Kristin K says

    Sally, thank you so much for Mentoring Mondays. I am learning so much and cannot get enough of your wisdom. I also was able to get a copy of Clay’s book ‘Heartfelt Discipline’ and am loving it. Thank you for helping to show parents today how to raise Godly children. God bless you and your family!

  8. Karen B says

    I only found your blog recently, and today was my first mentoring Monday! What an inspiration you are. I’m so thankful for your Godly wisdom after a day facing the challenge of a disrespectful teenage daughter. Now I can move forward with clarity.

  9. says

    Thank you Sally – very well said!
    Have I told I LOVE Mentoring Mondays? I look forward to hearing your sweet voice and wise words each Monday.
    Bless you!

  10. Michelle Clinton says

    Dearest Sally,

    Thank you again. Mentoring Mondays really meets a need I’ve had for so long in my mothering. I’ve wanted a wiser mom to share with me the whys and hows of everyday life. Sometimes I get so discouraged and even question myself, “Why am I trying to get them to learn manners again?” Thank you for refreshing the vision.

    Sweet hugs,

  11. Lorene says

    Excellent! I hadn’t thought before about the relation between industrialism and the value/worth of human life. It does make so much sense. Also the truths about the reason for Honor in that we are made in the image of God and so by honoring others we are honoring God. I have wondered how to explain the concept of honor to my children, but this makes so much sense. Thanks again!!

  12. Tneal says

    Hi Sally,
    I have been meaning to write and say thank you for your wise words through Mentoring Mondays! I, as many others have already written, look forward to hearing what you have to say each week and am so thankful to God for all that you have taught me through your blog and your books. I remember stumbling across your blog about a year ago and it was and continues to be a huge blessing to my family. I have read a few of your books now and have just bought your book about your 24 Family Ways. As a mother of a strong-willed, determined, active two year old son (and also infant twins), I have found this post and your last post on speaking words of love extremely helpful. We have been trying to teach our son to walk to the front door and say good bye to visitors when they are leaving and to give eye contact when speaking to someone, to say please, thank you and sorry etc…but I had never really thought about why I wanted to teach him good manners. Hearing you say that ‘honor is the foundation of manners’ and that ‘manners gives them practice at self control, so they can honor people’ makes it so much clearer in my head. I want our children to be able to show respect to their elders, to us (their parents) and to their teachers. I want them to honor us and to bow down on their knees and worship God all the days of their lives and I thank you so much for being a godly mothering mentor to me. xx

  13. JoLynn says

    Sally, thank you so very much for this wonderful encouragement today! It spoke right to me. My three year old has been struggling with this concept over the past few weeks and I’ve been struggling with deciding what is the most effective way to correct the unwanted behavior. Your post has reinforced that I must “keep on keepin’ on” with my mantra of “We want others to feel loved as God loves us and one way to do that is to greet people kindly when we see them and speak to them kindly at all times, in a soft and gentle voice.” You really do provide so much encouragement for us moms! Thank you, again.

  14. says

    Hi Sally! This video clip is so encouraging and challenging to me. After reading and watching, I’m ready to focus on teaching my children to honor. It’s been a goal, but I had become weary and your words have motivated me to continue to focus on it and reminded me of the importance of it. Thank you so much!

  15. Gretchen says

    Dear Mrs. Clarkson,
    Thank you so much for this beautiful Mentoring Moment. I am truly grateful for this blog you have made. I am a young single woman who greatly enjoys listening to your words. You have such wisdom and grace. Even though I am not a wife or mother I glean so much from your posts.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    God bless!

  16. Susan says


    I can’t express how much of an encouragement these little chats are – they really help refocus my heart and motivate me. I appreciate the time and effort you put into getting these together.


  17. Karon says

    Just caught up on last week’s Mentoring Monday on a gloomy Sunday afternoon with a warm cup of chai! :) I learn so much from you. Our most recent lessons with honor and our son involve explaining that even if something is not your favorite activity, you do it without complaint if it is important to someone else, especially someone else in your family. In that way, we show them that they are important to us. It’s a hard lesson for a 7-year-old boy, but we keep plugging away!

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