George Goodwin Kilburne, Piano Practice
“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence. But we rather have those because we have acted rightly.We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Aristotle
Merely having a piano in a home and having a child bang on the instrument will not nurture a child into becoming a classical pianist. To become excellent in playing, the child must be instructed over a period of many years, hours must be given to practice and learning music. Playing and playing and playing again is the course of action that produces skill and excellence.
Proverbs tells us that “a skillful man will go before kings.” Regarding character, wisdom and soul strength, a child must also be instructed, have many years to practice and apply the teaching before an excellent character and life skills are developed.
Contemporary Culture Mitigates Against Excellent Character
Because our culture is so given to crudity and a devaluation of human beings, with secular media determining the values of children, many adults and children reflect shallow character and lack of wisdom and discretion. Couple this with a lack of intentional training on the part of adults, with moral compromise at every turn, and many children are at a disadvantage in their lives because they have never developed a strong moral character, or seen a strong moral character in the life of the adults around them.
A child who is not trained and taught to exercise strength in righteousness, truth, work ethic, relationships and integrity, will often be at a disadvantage his whole life, because instead of his character serving him, his lack of training and ignorance will detract from his ability to live an excellent life.
I believe that many moms struggle with motherhood and the burden of raising children because they have never been stretched or trained in character and are morally weak, complaining and undisciplined. An undisciplined soul reacts to pressure with complaining, anger and frustration. Often, a lack of strong character and a developed work ethic is at the bottom of depression in young women. I know that I was never trained for such hard work, and so struggled to meet the ideals I held in my heart because I had never been trained to be strong in character–I was spoiled in many ways and so had to learn character along with my children–and it was more difficult as an adult who had become lazy and self-centered–and I didn’t even know it! I had been quite indulged and was unaware of my own lack of character–I wanted to blame my struggles on everything else except myself!
We are living in a culture where compromise is an accepted norm in marriage, in movies and television, in work, manners, leadership, responsibility. Also, addictions and lack of discipline of every sort are the norm and acceptable, so that lack of character is not even affirmed or valued. Addiction to food, substances, social media, pornography, television, gaming, gambling, and every sort of pleasure that eats up the beauty and possibility of life is tolerated. In surveys, it is often found that believers are just as apt to divorce, become addicted to pornography, and to live an immoral lifestyle.
I find that so many parents are mostly anxious that their children cease to have “bad” behavior. They just want a formula for disciplining their children that will make them easier to deal with on a daily basis, so that they as parents can have an easier life. Yet, as I observe many families, children, and moms in all of our travels and teaching, I find that there are fewer and fewer children who have an internal sense of composure, self-control, wisdom, and manners, because they are not receiving this kind of instruction at home. Their moms, even the stay at home ones, are busy with their own agenda and pastimes.
Yet, if we are created in God’s image, shouldn’t we, as believers, be the most excellent in our behavior, character and influence? Doesn’t scripture teach us to lay down our lives for the sake of others–in this case, our children? Doesn’t anything worthy always require great sacrifice, vision and hard work?
The next few weeks, I will be addressing the importance of training in character qualities and how this training develops a foundation of strength for the life and soul of a child.
Video Removed! Sorry. it just isn’t working today!
I am excited about this series! It has been bubbling up as I have talked to many moms over the past weeks, been at our first conference, observed behavior of adults in several situations, and discussed many of these issues with my own children.
Character matters! Training excellent character into the very fiber of children takes intention, perseverance, commitment, wisdom–and honestly, it requires character from our own lives.
I hope/pray this series will be of great encouragement to you, as this character training gives children and adults discretion, confidence and integrity in living life for the glory of Christ.
I will be using The 24 Family Ways in this series, as it is what Clay and I wrote for our own children’s training.
You can win a copy here! We’re giving away two–you can enter until Thursday at midnight!
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So excited for this topic. I feel much like you that I was spoiled and lack wisdom and excellence.
Unfortunately, the video stopped having sound right at the beginning.
Many blessings,
Julie
The audio stopped working right at the beginning…I REALLY wanted to hear it!!!
Great Post! I love the points that: – It is not the actual discipline method but the training and reaching of their hearts
Thank you Sally,the article is Spot on-so true! I am the mom who wants good behavour, who lacks self-control and maturity! Thank you for being a mom who wants to guide onces like me.
i hope it can be fixed as i look forward to hear more wisdom on such an important topic.
But there is a problem with a video, at around 1 min sound disappears
Good morning!
Yes, unfortunately, the sound did not work . I want you to know something though. I have mentioned many times how God has used you specifically in my life as a cyber mentor but I want you to know HOW SPECIFIC today! Truly, I feel the love of God through you and am so thankful you are listening to Him!
This morning, I was praying about this very thing and asking God for wisdom. I got my coffee and sat down wondering if I would find some help in your blog and I found the EXACT needs that I was asking God for! THANK YOU! ( I will have to read and re-read and pray and ask God to show me how to proceed!)
My oldest daughter especially, who is 10, does have a heart to serve the Lord and to obey her parents, yet she also struggles with wanting her own independence. This morning I was asking God to give me wisdom on how to build trust and impart His truth to her in a way that she will fully take into her heart. She is a very smart young girl; sometimes too smart for her own good.
(she often knows more than many adults in her life, has been tested gifted, so it takes a lot to earn her trust). I know God has given her the gift of intelligence and strong will for a specific plan. I tell her this all of the time. While she will listen to the input of adults, she is one that has to learn everything on her own. I pray continually that as we instruct her Biblically (and we have used your 24 ways as well), that the Holy Spirit will speak to her heart and give her strength in the right ways. I tell her that I pray that God will create a clean, soft heart in her and I ask her to pray that with me. (She IS growing in character and HAS proven to have many high standards of excellence in her life; yet the areas that she has not fully embraced because she seems to want things her way have brought struggles into our home…things like making choices that she thinks are ok for her, even when instructed otherwise).
Character, Self Control, Perseverance, Respect, Considering and serving others are many attributes that have been difficult to instill. Just this morning I mentioned to her that I do not want her to be selfish and lazy. (She is willing to go out of her way for passions in her heart, yet not other things that she does not deem worthy even if asked of her parents). I used those exact words you used about not being selfish and lazy. I shared that I couldn’t let her behavior slide because it is so important not to live like this now or as an adult. God asks us to be faithful in little so that He can make us faithful of much. We talk about this often.
For me, it is difficult to know the balance between being honest about behavior that is not appropriate while also giving grace, encouragement and inspiration. I always feel awful clearly pointing out what is not acceptable and not a good example to her younger siblings thinking that I am going to make her feel down on herself. I feel like we have poured so much into her and I do expect more at this time. It is disappointing and hurtful to me when she does not choose the higher moral righteous road. I want her to feel comfortable in this home and to be safe to be herself even as she grows in character; yet I need God to show me the balance that I can feel at peace about in training her (and her siblings, yet she is the toughest right now). Knowing what consequences and how to help instruct and mold this into her has me feeling at a loss. I watch friends of mine struggling in their adult life and know how important this time in my children’s lives are and I want to invest as I ought.
It is interesting that you say that we have to have strong, mature character in order to impart that to our children. This is something the Lord has been working on me. Disappointment is ok, even appropriate righteous anger. Yet, getting overly upset about children being children is something that God is teaching me to curb in myself. There is so much life and love and adventure on this journey that I want my kids to embrace and enjoy, if only they would listen and adhere to His path of righteousness. Lord, help me and teach me your ways so that I know the best way to show them to my kids.
There is so much we are seeking as we train them. We seek to simplify our lives to make our focus and priority raising them. We seek to surround them with like minded families and a community they can look up to and grow with. It hasn’t been easy. Lord, lead us on your path!
Thank you Sally for the ways you have helped us! I look forward to meeting you at the end of February!
So, I re-read it again. Self centered is a better description.
Also, I can’t agree with this, “Yet, as I observe many families, children, and moms in all of our travels and teaching, I find that there are fewer and fewer children who have an internal sense of composure, self-control, wisdom, and manners, because they are not receiving this kind of instruction at home. Their moms, even the stay at home ones, are busy with their own agenda and pastimes.”
Although I would say my children struggle with this, my husband and I have given up so much for them. We even moved bc we thought it would be better to start over in a new area seeking God’s priorities first and foremost instead of the hustle of living busy lives. My husband purposefully took a job that demanded less hours and I have given up my career to raise them. We have poured our hearts and lives into raising them the best we know how, seeking a like minded community, teaching, training, loving, giving, inspiring. We go out of our way for them on a daily basis. Yet, still, we find it to be hard. I often think of your blog that says, “whey they are old, they will not depart” yet then I also think of Timothy and teach my kids to shine while they are young as well. I think of friends parents who are also my friends who I know did their best (with broken lives) yet their children are not serving the Lord. I want generation to know Him, I want our family to serve Him daily….our hearts are in the right place yet we feel we are drowning (and I know you understand this as well as I’ve read those posts too!)
What a great post this morning, Sally! Thank you!!
I would love to win his book! We actually used to have the older edition with the flip chart. We let friends borrow it and they loved t so much that we old the, to keep it.
Oh and to answer the question
: I think the hardest area I find is just selflessness. Just looking around and doing something with no thought for self, doing something to bless another without being told, yielding the right to win in a game, or giving up that last treat for someone else etc…
I know this one is probably VERY MUCH by example and I’m working on that!
PS – I DID have a very neat moment this morning and I thought of YOU. My children made breakfast in bed for me & my hubby! They used pizza pans for trays, put our candles on them (thankfully they didn’t light them and carry them all the way up the stairs! They are a LITTLE young (9 & 7)for that!
), made up my husband’s oatmeal with HIS favorite toppings and mine with MINE. Glasses of milk with it also! Then they picked up the downstairs while we were eating! Isn’t that just like a HUG from the Lord?! You know…like when you don’t think the serving, helping, being for them is doing ANYTHING and then the Lord proves you wrong. 
Thought you would enjoy this story. 
I would love to win his book! We actually used to have the older edition with the flip chart. We let friends borrow it and they loved it so much that we told them to keep it.
I struggle with training the children in regard to complaining and having a joyful attitude with the tasks of life.
I am so excited about this series! It sounds like just what I need. Thank you for everything you pour into us moms, Sally. It is so needed! Blessings to you!
(I already have a copy of this wonderful book, so please pick another lucky mom if I’m selected.)
Difficulty reaching my strong willed child where it seems no discipline method works. Lots of prayers.
Hmm, our daughter is 2 and I’d say self-control – not throwing a fit when you don’t get your way or have to get your diaper changed.
The hardest character trait we are having a hard time teaching is diligence/ability to work hard. Makes for a lot of need for prayer and asking for wisdom, for sure! Thanks for the opportunity to win.
persistence!
I loved this post! I can’t wait to hear more!
Great post! I can’t wait to hear more!
I struggle with teaching my children obedience and helpfulness. I have 6 children, the oldest being 13 and I have tried to teach them this for years with little success. We have had charts and chores and posters and conversations and bible lessons and used every tool from every Christian author and group out there. Still I don’t feel we have moved forward any, especially concerning my 13 and 11 year old. I have finally gotten to the point that I need to fully surrender this to God and seek Him diligently in prayer and to move my children’s hearts as they are now old enough to get it. I had thought that if I just had the right coloring sheet or object lesson or curriculum I could teach these truths to my children. So far that has not worked for us and I am praying that the Lord will change their hearts as I am overwhelmed, tired and frustrated with trying to turn their hearts through my own efforts.
I SO UNDERSTAND, Celia as I feel the exact same way!
Thanks for this series! I’m really excited to follow it over the next few weeks.
My son is only a year and a half, so our biggest struggle right now is communication!
I would love a copy of this book and plan on following your study/writings on it. I would like to work on proactive behavior with my older child. She is great on doing what is told of her but she doesn’t move ahead and do much on her own, which is also a bit of laziness mixed in there. Thanks for all your wisdom. I consider you one of my mentors! God bless you and your family!
Very much needed.
I so long to raise children with Godly character but with four little ones it often seems overwhelming and I feel like I don’t know where to start. Would love some wisdom and insight.
We used this book with our older 4 children, sad to say I didn’t with my younger 3. This is motivation to do so:) I would love to win the updated version.
Excited for this series! Thank you for mentoring us in this way!
I enjoy your blog so much. It’s a constant blessing and encouragement to me to “keep on keeping on” as a mother. I just loved your “Educating the Wholehearted Child”…I even underlined/marked notes in it (I neeeeeever do that to my books). Your 24 Ways book has been sitting in my wish list for a while. Everyone knows how much I love to learn/read, so I often get many books around the holidays as Christmas gifts, so that’s been on a back burner. =)
I found today’s blog particularly encouraging…and challenging. My biggest character-teaching challenge would be initiative in serving (seeing/realizing someone’s need and acting on that knowledge). This is actually an area (one of the very few!) that comes easily to me, and I get a little frustrated when they don’t automatically pick up on the fact that someone is struggling with something or something needs done…without a hint from me. They’re usually very quick to help, but slow to see the need. I’m trying to figure out how to instill that 6th sense into their lives. I pray that their eyes would be not on their own wants and desires, but on others’. I suppose much of it needs to be taught by example with Me serving Them. =)
I totally identify with this post! I have so many ideals, but lack the discipline in my own life. It’s very hard to train my children when I lack in the same areas! I think the character quality that needs the most work is self-control.
I think I would say self control and patience! Interesting how I seem to struggle so with those same things…
I already have this book and LOVE it, if I won, I would give it away though!!
I think the area I need to work on The most is teaching my children to have grateful hearts and first time obedience. I would be thrilled to be able to win your book, you are always a great source of encouragement for me!
Would be thrilled to win this book!
This book is on my list of books I need to buy! Would LOVE to win in through this giveaway!!
Oh how I find I always need to work on the same character qualities as my kids! We definitely struggle with selfishness, and being able to build one another up. Our verse for the week- “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” —Ephesians 4:29
Right now, the hardest character quality to teach my kids is kindness. They’re 2 and 10 months, so kindness is a learned quality right now.
I would have to say Self Control. There are probably many more, but having self control goes a long way! Thanks for entering me in the contest!
I find the hardest things to train my children in are the very areas i need help too. It also seems to be the area i am hardest on them for : /. My theme song- “He’s still working on me”
Kindness is something I really hope to train in them. Thanks for the contest!
Well, i would love to win this book!!! Working on how to train good character in myself AND my children!
Being thankful and joyful. All I hear from my 4 year old is complaining and crying. Add that to the baby that is already crying. Also, patience!!
Diligence might be the hardest…because I can struggle with it, too…
Thanks for the giveaway and all you do.
I’d be THRILLED to win this book!
The area I find the most difficult to train my children in is, self-discipline. And I think the reason this is so difficult is because it is something they can really only learn by example…and I’m not always the best example.
This blog post really made me consider my responsibility and example this morning. Thank you!
True joy and seeing an area to serve and help without Mom or Dad pointing it out for a 12 yr old.
Sally, this post really spoke to my heart. It was both convicting and encouraging at the same time. I know these are words of truth, and yet how hard to put into practice for an undisciplined, selfish person like me. Thank you for sharing such valuable thoughts to help me grow. May God bless your ministry to mothers all around the world!
We continue to work on self control and patience.
This book would be a treasure! Thanks so much for this opportunity. Persistence is probably one of the most difficult. I hear constantly the most annoying phrase “I Can’t!”
“I believe that many moms struggle with motherhood and the burden of raising children because they have never been stretched or trained in character and are morally weak, complaining and undisciplined. An undisciplined soul reacts to pressure with complaining, anger and frustration. ”
Ouch, Sally. Those words hurt as they are so descriptive of the rut I have been in, but are just what I needed to hear today. You would think having children at 38 and 40 would make me a more mature parent, but I think I am just that much more mired in selfishness (and that much more tired)!
I recently purchased 24 Family Ways and asked my husband to take a look at it. He likes it as much as I do, and we have just begun the family devotions. (Another anchor we are working to incorporate into our days.) After devouring Desperate (and reading for a second time with highlighter in hand) I’ve decided this year I’m devoting to Clarkson books. A Christmas gift of an Amazon gift card Educating the Whole Hearted Child, and Read for the Heart to my book basket. I hope to also add Mission of Motherhood, Ministry of Motherhood, and Seasons of a Mother’s Heart before the year is out.
What a timely series! The character trait we are working/struggling with is patience and also self control. Thank-you for all your inspiration and teaching:)
Thank you!
Thank you for adressing this topic, it’s confronting as it is helpfull. thank you! In my case the most difficult is teaching them selfdiscipline.
Great series! Hmmm character trait we are working on is diligence. We got a bit out of routine with my past year full of chemo/radiation. So, we are getting back on a more disciplined track of school, chores, etc. Praising God for my healing
!!
Diligence…hard to teach without getting impatient and angry…sadly. Definitely need this book.
Sally,
Thank you for this – my own children are older now, but I would be delighted to receive this book to pass along to a niece who has two little ones. My niece and I are close – she seeks counsel from this ‘older woman’ (me!) but as she lives in Australia and I’m in Canada, long conversations about motherhood are somewhat restricted. Your book would be a wonderful guide for her.
Blessings on your week – I hope the sun shines!
Unfortunately I feel like there are sooo many I am not doing well enough on teaching him. I guess the biggest one right now would be taking responsibility for his actions, nothing is ever his fault! Thanks for the opportunity!
I’m truly looking forward to this series. May the Lord bless you as you minister to others. Thank you.
Just last week we were working on Meekness and it was so convicting to me. It is hard to teach something when you seen the need to work on it for yourself, but that gave me the opportunity to show the kids that I’m a work in progress too. It also allowed me to see that I wasn’t showing Grace to my children as God gives to me. I’m so privileged to be able to raise my 4 precious children. We were all wanting our way, arguing and just not being willing to think of others first. It was a good conversation and I’m being reminded of it daily.
Thank you for your blog. It means so much!
We struggle with patience, respect, and having a grateful heart instead of complaining about everything and never being happy with what they have.
I would love to win a copy of this book. As far as the character trait that is the hardest to train..boy how do I pick just one
! I think patience is it. When my children lack patience so many sinful attitudes crop up…anger, unkindness, etc. Thanks for doing the giveaway and for the wonderful article Sally!
Oh, there are so many things regarding character for my kiddos and I to learn! I’ve been praying, and asking the older moms in my life, to pray for my character to be developed so that I can then teach my children from a place of example. Right now I’ve been grieved to see my son with a complete lack of empathy and with displays of anger when he doesn’t get his way. He’s four (almost five) and not is the time that is so critical to catch his heart. His little sister (1 1/2) sees his behavior and mirrors it so perfectly.
Last night he got so mad at me when I asked him to put on his PJs that he was trying to hit and kick me. I pinned him into the couch (where we wer sitting) and held him gently until he settled down (while dodging his attempts to bite me), and told him that he wasn’t in control of me, but he needed to be in control of himself, and that I loved him, but wouldn’t let him hurt others. There was a flash of something there, and I’m hoping that it was a flash of understanding. I’m so glad to have had that interaction with my husband present, as he tends to get really angry at my son, which escalates everything, and allows my son to have the “upper hand.”
Oh God, please transform our family!!
I’d love to win your book. I’ve been waiting for my husband to lead on the issue of a family devotion time, even asking him to do so, but finally started to read the Jesus Storybook after dinner or before bed nightly. I think he’s afraid of “doing it wrong” or not knowing what to do, so this resource would be so helpful. If I don’t win, though, I think I might just purchase it when we get some money together.
Thank you for what you do.
I lack self-control at times. I am emotional in my thinking and so it comes out in my responses to people, shopping, eating, etc. So I believe when this comes out in my children, I shouldn’t really be too surprised. Self-control and the discipline to keep it are what I would like to see more of in our home. Thank you for the opportunity to win your wonderful book!
Would love to know more about the 24 Family Ways book.
We’re ALL working on various character traits!
lack of self-control and serving their brothers and sisters. But we are being diligent and believing that “when they are old” they won’t depart from what we are trying to teach them.
Great article. We struggle with dilegence in out home.
You must have been thinking of me when you wrote this. I am deeply convicted by this post. I especially am convicted by these statements: “An undisciplined soul reacts to pressure with complaining, anger and frustration” and “They just want a formula for disciplining their children that will make them easier to deal with on a daily basis, so that they as parents can have an easier life.”
I am looking forward to the next few sessions where you address character training. Thank you so much for your ministry…
This is exactly what I’ve been praying for. I have no idea to even try to reach my boys hearts when I talk to them. They are always running on full energy and I don’t know how to break through and instruct ever. If I had to start with one character point I would wish to start with, I’d go with integrity… but mostly I want the character trait of endurance and patience, hopefully that would result in confidence to keep trying all day every day to reach their hearts.
Marissa
Hello Sally!
You do not know me, but I feel as though I have known you & Clay for many years. I’m sure you hear this all the time, but only because it is so true for so many–I consider you my main mentor and encourager during our homeschooling years. Your books and talks gave me the confidence and peace to focus on what God sees as important at that particular time and not let the world have an influence in the way we taught and raised our children.
I, like you, have now come through those early formative years and am able to thoroughly enjoy this new season with my young adult children, who are now my dearest friends.
Like you, I have a heart for moms, and for character training in particular.
I will actually be attending your Mom Heart conference in CA this weekend, and look forward to meeting you at the PossibiliTea. (I heard you & Clay speak at the CHEA conferences years ago, but never had an opportunity to meet you.)
This topic of character so vital for our time and so near and dear to my heart that I am actually in the process of writing an ebook called the Character Mandate.
I just wanted to write a quick note of “Thanks” for continuing to forge ahead and fight for the character and godliness of our children. Also for giving parents valuable and practical tools and wisdom to carry out their most important mission.
I hope that you have a chance to read your comments, I understand how busy you are. I just wanted to thank you, in case we don’t have an opportunity to talk this weekend.
Blessings,
Lauren Huss
Teaching patience is difficult for me.
I always am very blessed by your posts, Sally. I do wonder, though, after reading some of the comments here and in re-reading the original post, whether sometimes parents forget that trying to train a child’s heart in various virtues is somewhat fruitless if they have not yet been transformed by the grace of the Holy Spirit to turn to Christ in saving faith. I know you agree with this, theologically, but sometimes I see parents killing themselves to try to produce the fruit of the Spirit in children that have not yet come to Christ by faith! Until that happens, other efforts (while they can be used greatly by the Holy Spirit to lead the children to Christ) ultimately can amount to mere moralism. Training an unconverted child in various virtues doesn’t save the child. There must be some tension between our call to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and between acknowledging that they were born fallen and unredeemed, and that teaching moral virtues to an unconverted human is NOT the same thing as the “heart transplant” that happens when that human being redeemed by Christ and then supernaturally progressing in his or her own sanctification over time. Training children in virtues, while wonderful, does not give them the new heart that the gospel of faith alone in the finished work of Christ for helpless sinners promises.
AMEN and AMEN! The Lord uses my children’s sinful character to help me point them to their need for a Savior and the blessedness of the glorious truths of the gospel. Christian parenting isn’t about producing kids that are “good” as much as it is about pointing our children to the Savior.
Self-control is probably the hardest character quality for me. Self-control over outbursts of wrath (and applying the other Proverbs about ruling over a spirit of anger) and over being contentious with my husband (there’s more good Proverbs about that one too). I definitely see my oldest toddler picking up on my bad examples and mimicking them.
I’m finding every area difficult right now! Teaching grace, teaching patience, teaching love instead of anger…
This was great! Looking forward to more–I feel the same way, I am having to train myself as I train my children! Would love to win 24 Ways.
I really enjoyed your article. This is something I am trying hard to implement but I admit that I do struggle a lot. I would love to win a copy of this book!
I have just recently found your blog. I would like to win a copy of this book.
Thank you for the opportunity!! I think whining and complaining! Self-control! Servant heart. I suppose that all of the above really stem from selfishness!
I am looking forward to this series!
My precious babes are 20, 17 and 13…we are very blessed to have these three..Rachel, Joshua and Sarah…I find the hardest area to overcome is that of negativity…as you mentioned in your article we are SPOILED in this nation…clean water, abundant food, freedom to worship and so so so much more..it is easy to become complacent and self-absorbed…we press on with this..to take up our cross and follow Jesus..and striving to rejoice always! This has been challenging as our beloved MawMaw has been battling stage 4 lymphoma…we are all so close and it has been hard, but God {as always} has shown Himself faithful!! Thank you for the giveaway and blessings to you!
Sally,
My husband and I do not have any children yet, but prayerfully we will soon. I loved reading this post, because I am trying to do everything I can now in this season of my life to prepare for our future with children , if God blesses us with them. I wanted to ask for your prayers Sally. My husband and I have recently surrendered our lives to Christ and whatever His will is for our life. Right now, we feel called to the mission field. Our Pastor and church know and we are just now in the process of telling our families and preparing to go to school to take some classes in missions. I know how busy you are, but if you ever have any advice for me regarding missions and just how you got started, I would be so grateful. I really look up to you and admire you. Thank you for all that you do.
I am struggling with teaching my kids to not have bad attitudes and teaching my girls to have a happy heart in all that they do.
I never realized God would use motherhood so much to point out my weak character! It’s truly humbling to understand that God needs to teach and train me – and will – through this sacred job!
Different issues for each child. For one, it is humility and accepting correction. For another, obedience. Another, self-control. Another, selflessness. Parenting is hard! I like to remember that it’s hard so that I recognize my own need for the Lord.
My children are still young (6,4, and 2) so we are still struggling with obedience. I would love to have this book.
There are a couple that come to mind at my son’s current stage. Diligence, working well and doing your best rather than trying to just get-it-done-so-you-can-go-play, and honesty. (Sigh)
We are needing encouragement and know how in all areas of character building with our 6 little ones because just when we have a “lose grip” on one area…..tada….a new “opportunity” arises to focus on another character trait. Thank you for a chance to win a copy!!!
I find it hardest to teach them every day consistency (doing chores, practicing piano, giving polite responses, without having to be reminded). It is hard because I struggle to be consistent to enforce these things because enforcement is challenging and the path of least resistance is easier. Then I get convicted and enforce for a few days, but every day the same is such a challenge!
So excited about this!!!! On my list of books to buy someday. Struggling with how to discipline and reach their hearts and train at the same time.
Patience and self-control are two virtues that I will be teaching my son this coming year.
I am very excited about hearing teaching on this topic – my questions are regarding the “how” of teaching my children these things. Thanks!!
Looking forward to this series! Thank you Sally.
Patience and the teaching of kindness to be ever on my lips! I look forward to this series and what a wonderful tool to have if I won the book. Thank you, Sally!!!!
We are working on self-control, particularly as it relates to the words we use. Thank you so much for all you do!
Sally, this was so so needed by me today! I am struggling so much with this entire thing called Christian motherhood. I was not raised in a Christian home and had no character training. I, unfortunately, struggle so much with selfishness and self discipline. I am an introverted person who had 2 high needs children under 2, now 2 1/2 and 1 years old. Neither of them sleep through the night so I am utterly exhausted and feeling as though I am in the “I need me time or I’ll go crazy” phase of life. I am just now starting to get energy back after being diagnosed with low iron postpartum. And now with my 2 year old, I am seeing so many character issues that I’m sure reflect me, but it seems as if we go from one screaming meltdown to another all day long. I feel like I’m strong enough now to start addressing those things instead of just “Surviving” with 2 small children. I long to trust God with the planning of my family but not sure how I can do that right now… So long story short, I would LOVE to win this book! I just ordered Desperate and will be reading that shortly. Even if I don’t win it, I will still be ordering the book. I so desire to raise my children for The Lord but have no idea how to practically do that and overcome all my OWN deficiencies along with theirs. I am feeling defeated before I even start. Thank you for letting me vent on your page! Thank you for being such an encouragement to young mothers like me who are just starting out and stumbling along the way!
I would love a copy of this book. As a mother of four daughters we struggle with dealing with all the emotions and hormones that are starting with the two oldest being in the tweeny stages. I would say the biggest parenting struggle right now is getting them to listen to whatever task we give them and follow through until it is completely done.
This was such an encouraging and convicting post,Sally. Thank you for sharing your heart as always. I love finding like minded women and families! I would love to win a copy of the book!
The area of character I find most difficult to teach my children is patience – since I have so little of it! ; )
This hit me at the core. I have been noticing how lazy so many of us moms are and how addicted we are to our own agenda…me included. I want to be the type of mom whose character is reflected in my children’s character no matter how hard the circumstances or how many times my agenda is interrupted. We do only have a short time to shape and mold these treasures.
I have a two-year old, and patience is the hardest thing to teach her right now. But I know that’s something God’s still teaching me as well! Today’s blog post is a timely reminder for me to keep an eye on how I’m demonstrating patience to her myself. I’m excited for this series!
I struggle with probably wanting more from my little one than is possible at this time…but still trying to instill into her heart an understanding and responsibility for her actions…and the consequences that come with them…good, bad, ugly, whatever!!…that there are others around her…she’s not the only one!! that’s tough!!
I have issues in training my child to have a generous heart. Thanks for the giveaway!
I would love to win a copy of this book. I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old so it may be too advanced for them. I am starting to talk about Proverbs with my 3 yr old at night and we are focusing on one character trait at a time. Right now we are talking about “completing a task.” I am looking forward to this series.
I’ve been struggling with my 4 yr. old daughter telling the truth! It’s teetering on make-believe and deception.
Both of your last two posts were so timely for me. We are finally coming out of a very long season of first trimester fatigue and nausea, followed by influenza and then three more bouts of sickness including whooping cough in my four year old. It occurred to me last night as I was struggling with this complaining and impatient spirit that all this was a gift from my Father. I have been seeking humility, the heart of a servant, to become small, and content with my service going unnoticed and unappreciated. Oh, the opportunities He is giving me to become identified with Him through suffering. Yes, I have come face to face with my weakness of character in these last four months. I see my own impatience reflected in the impatient voice of my four year old. I watch my frustration reflected in his frustration. I have seen over and over as my attitude is right, that my toddler and four year old start playing together in marvelous harmony and then as my own attitude deteriorates there are suddenly dissensions and grumblings. My children struggle more with self-control when I struggle with taking the time to instruct them in it. Yes this Lord, that I would seek the good of my children and not my own ease. Thank you for your words Sally!
I felt very convicted by this blog post! Thank you for waking me up! For not being afraid to say what needs to be said…all the time. You are a huge encouragement to me.
I struggle with being intentional and organized. I find I am finally accepting the fact that yes all of this work is actually mine to do! Doing everything joyfully and sacrificially is a big struggle for me. Thank you for speaking truth Sally! You are a breath of fresh air!
I am looking forward to this topic! would love to win the book – hope to buy it someday if I don’t.
Thank you for sharing!!
Wendy
I’m so glad this new edition is out. I know my children need me to read this. I don’t know that a single character quality is more important or more difficult for me to teach my children. I think it’s more important that they have a David heart not a Saul heart.
I would love a copy of this book for our family!
I am excited for the new series. Thank u for the giveaway contest:)
Well said! I, too, struggle to walk in godliness as I am trying to instill that in my children. Thank you for pointing out that those of us who were not trained in our youth demonstrate this lack by complaining and whining (inwardly, if not outwardly!). Ouch!
On another note (as I don’t know where else to write this), could you NOT center your blogs (I receive your posting via email). It is very difficult to read when the script goes across the entire screen. I don’t know if I have visual tracking problems, but thought it would be worth mentioning in case it could be changed.
Blessings!
Retta
Very interested in this study-looking forward to it
Thank you so much for this post! I am looking forward to thos series,as I have been feeling like I am floundering when it comes to training my children’s hearts. I appreciate your encouragement and support of the importance of motherhood so much!!
I would dearly love to win this book as we are at the beginning of our parenting journey, and I know how much of a blessing 24 Family Ways was to my own parents.
My son is 17 months old, and the thing I struggle most with is teaching him to be self controlled and gently lead him to realise that the world does not revolve around him (not quite anyway!!). Again for me as others have mentioned, leading by example is the challenge that I am daily attempting to conquer!
Bless you Sally, and thank you for your timely honest post.
Dearest Sally!
This is my second comment on your blog though I have been visiting it almost every day during the past months since I discovered it. I can really feel how Jesus speaks to me through you…you are the most loving leader I´ve ever seen, you transmit this love through every word, through every facet of your personality, you truly are my role model. As I said in my first comment finally I have found someone as idealistic as I am and so I dare continue dreaming that one day I can have my best friends in my children, too.
Of course I would love to get the book, but even more than that I want to bear fruit in my children lives, want to pour out my life before them…I would be so lost and so confused if I hadn´t found your ministry…like every mother I love my kids with such a strong love but still sometimes I would scare myself of how cruel I would be with them. I don´t know, Sally, if you have time to read every comment but just want to tell you once more that you have touched my children hearts for eternity…I couldn´t have done it alone. I´ve seen such a change in my kids and my own heart. So here goes the area where we still struggle and I suppose it´s also a result of my own harshness: HUMILITY! My eldest one tends to by very rebellious at times and it´s hard for him to recognise that he´s been wrong. So I´m just persevering in showing him that humility and love are the greatest character traits! The ones that Jesus showed where ever He went while on Earth!
Please never stop posting and speaking to our hearts! Love,
Aija
And as for challenging area to teach my kids, I am having trouble knowing how to address my daughter’s attitude. Her actions are much easier to guide than her attitude.
This is so helpful and challenging, thank you for sharing and I so look forward to learning from you. My kids are 4 & 2 and I need guidance on building their character and not just trying to control their behavior.
With two preschoolers in the home, we are constantly working on being prompt with obedience.
We have 2 kids age 4 and 2,5. Lack of obedience is our major problem. But we want them to learn to listen out of love and respect and have them have strong characters who will also be strong in faith. I m so glad I found out about you and your blog!!
So thankful you are addressing character training. It is not enough to simply feed, dress, and enjoy our children. Thanks for your encouragement!
Self-control is the most difficult to teach. Looking forward to this series.
Thank you for the opportunity to win this! I’d have to say self-control would be the area I struggle with the most with my daughter.
I think I struggle most with training control of emostions–anger, bad attitude, and the like–probably because that is were I struggle too.
I would like to win a copy of your book.
This is a very heavy post, but one that I appreciate and take to heart personally. God is really working on my heart during this season and has used your blog to both encourage and convict me. Thank you for being a receptive tool for Him!
I would have to say it depends on which child it is.
For one it’s definitely hardest to help her grasp self control. Another, it’s honesty. Generally speaking, for all my kids I struggle most training them with time management.
Patience and self-control!
We are working on patience and listening!
Hi Sally! I am so grateful that you share your wisdom! The most challenging are with with my 3.5 year-old is quick to anger response and listening the first time.
I am looking forward to your conference on Friday!
Lori
How effective and convicting! This post really speaks to me and makes me squirm. I am struggling in all areas of character development with my wonderful 3 year old, and I see that it is due to my character weaknesses… We struggle most with her disobedience and our self-control.
I really can’t wait to read more about this! I would so love a copy of this book!
I don’t read all the posts that come in but I’m really glad I read this Sally. Just today my 11 year old son wondered when he’ll be more mature in character (after being immature). Well, my answer was that I wonder that about myself. This morning my thoughts were not fully pleasing to the Lord and I knew it. I can so relate to what you wrote but could not put it into my own words. Not growing up in a home where christian character and values were trained into me has made progress steep and hard. Soooo glad that He Who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. The process is like the pressure needed to create a diamond! Ouch!
This is such a wonderful post. Thank you Sally! We need to train, train, train, in order to run the race. Training starts with putting our focus on Christ. He will mold our character, and then use us to help our children “train”. Our job is to focus on Him, In all things — through prayer, thanksgiving, reading the Word…
I love the Aristotle quote in the beginning. Thank you! I so look forward to sharing this with friends, seeing your new posts, and discussing with friends afterward.
I struggle with teaching self-control. That sentence about not seeing many children with composure or self-control hit me. In our culture, there is not a premium on patience. But there is a premium on getting (answers, weight loss, attention, whatever) immediately.
I’d love to win!
I think I struggle a lot with the Golden Rule – putting others before self. Probably because I can be selfish too! I have been looking for a good devotional to do with them that has some meat to it and would love to win this!
self-control!
Our biggest character issue is honesty.
I am always looking for great ways to supplement character teaching/training. I’m not sure what this would fall under, but the ability to stop grumbling and complaining. Not always looking at the negative first. I know this is also a role model problem from the past few years of our lives in an extremely challenging life/job/ministry situation, which I know we handled less than grace-filled at times. Thanks for the opportunity.
The areas that are the hardest to teach are the ones I am struggling with myself. Self-discipline would probably be at the core of most issues I struggle with and see my kids struggling with as well. What is caught passes on so much easier than what is taught.
Would love to win this book to give to my daughter. I wish I had taught my children servanthood when they were young!
Oh, I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this topic, and I think it will be wonderful. We have a hard time with diligence; doing one’s work without being asked, and continuing to do it when Mom or Dad aren’t there to enforce it. Your book looks wonderful, too; I’ve been looking at it online, and wishing I could get it right now. Being entered in the giveaway is exciting!
I find it very difficult to address issues in my children that I’m still obviously struggling with….how can I point out the speck in their eye? And yet, as the mama, I have to…but to do it with humility and honest about my own shortcomings.
Perseverance or diligence as others have said. I don’t want them to give up I want them test themselves and keeping trying new things
Wow, I am so glad that I took the time to read this post. It is so dead on. You don’t want to stop sometimes and think “why are my kids acting out” you want to put the blame on everything except me the mom. It is definitely laziness that causes some of my problems along with not having it mentored to me. Im so excited to read the upcoming post.
I find that the character trait I continue to struggle with is the same as the one my 2 year old does: self-control. It is one of the fruits of the spirit that we have been focusing onas an entire family. I know it cannot get better over night and even small accomplishments are still victories. Thank you for co-authoring Desperate. I am truly enjoying it!
Well, my kids are 10, 8, 5, and 3…so we struggle with different things at different times. I’d say perseverance is a biggie with a couple of them, being peacemakers, one is struggling with obedience right now more than usual, and our youngest, who was adopted, struggles with self-control
Oh Sally, you struck such a nerve with many of us today! Thank you so much for these words! I was brought up to act right and perform well…and I did that because it served my interests well (Acceptance, approval, safety). Because of these things, I always won the yearly “Character Award” at my school. But I didn’t have a real foundation of character! I have had to learn this as an adult and still fall SO TERRIBLY SHORT! I want to help my child develop character, not just good behavior (and it starts with me!) I am so looking forward to this series! God bless you
Wow…so true…
“I know that I was never trained for such hard work, and so struggled to meet the ideals I held in my heart because I had never been trained to be strong in character–I was spoiled in many ways and so had to learn character along with my children–and it was more difficult as an adult who had become lazy and self-centered–and I didn’t even know it! I had been quite indulged and was unaware of my own lack of character–I wanted to blame my struggles on everything else except myself!”
I’ve been a mom for almost 20 years and am STILL learning character along with my children. : (
Self-control, particularlly in the use of time, is what I find to be the most difficult thing to grasp myself and to teach to my children.
Self-control is the hardest character trait to teach my son right now. I am dying to get this book and am super excited to use it!
I find that the most difficult character trait to eminate and teach my children is selflessness. How very foreign to our ‘you deserve a break today’ pop culture is the thought that we can be like Jesus. He came ‘not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” and yet we find it hard to even do simple tasks that are ‘someone elses’ responsibilty. Yes, I need to grow in this giving up my rights, desires, plans, …and by God’s grace and power be able to direct my children down the same path!
Just what I needed to hear today. I think self control is what we need to work on the most.
My oldest is 2, so I’m really just beginning the whole “character training”… and it seems very hard! I’m really trying to be intentional in my parenting, but I’m constantly looking for help and direction.
This book sounds lovely. I’m the mother of a tween girl trying to find her voice. I pray she leans more towards Him for guidance. Also mom to a boy who flips more than walks, who stresses over school, who drives me batty and who I love fiercely. Thankful for your words to mothers.
Thank you for all you do for us moms. I think my biggest challenge with my children is self control. However, it isn’t a bad thing to remind us all how we need to carry and handle ourselves.
Always working oncharacter, mine right along with the kids. Have been praying for the best course of action to take for my daughter. Just want to tweek our character in the right direction.
I think the hardest part of training my kids’ character is reminding them that they need Christ and not just focusing on their outward appearance of being good. I guess you could call it getting to the heart of the issue. So excited to hear you speak in CA this weekend Sally!
Thanks for sharing, Sally!
Not to be selfish, which some are more selfish than others!
I’d have to say self control is the hardest thing to learn and teach. As you, I wasn’t equipped with the proper tools to instil godly character and I’ve had to learn the hard way. The twenty four family ways have been on my amazon wish list…..looking forward to your up coming series Sally. God has used you in an incredible way, I’m forever grateful for your willingness, transparency and obedience. Xxoo Janell
what an inspiring post Sally! Oh how I long to grow, in so many things, right alongside my kids:).
Looking forward to the series. Improved character is needed in my life and my children’s.
Really looking forward to this! Thank you for your ministry. I find it hard to teach my children patience and self-control when I feel like often I am failing at modeling these traits.
I am really looking forward to this. I have a hard time teaching how to have self control flavored with grace when the other person is wrong. My kids get angry and aren’t nice when they know they are right.
I suppose the most challenging has been an issue with Self-Control. Not in all areas but a few of my children have self-sontrol battles when it comes to speaking, as in blurting something out BEFORE thinking about what they say. My husband will tell you they have learned this from him, as I am generally the more quiet one. Not to mention it seems that most people nowadays blurt out just about everything. I have found that this is a struggle to teach, but we continue to try and encourage them!
P.S. We often find ourselves singing the “self-control” song to our children from “The Music Machine” I had the albumn when I was a kid and we bought the cd for our kids. Sometimes we sing the songs to ourselves too!
I have three small children at this time, ranging from 5years old to 2 years old. I know that the number one character trait that we are still working on is first time obedience and self-control with my oldest, who happens to be the only girl in the group. Sometimes when I am correcting I can see the very thing in my life that I am trying to teach them. I am so thankful for the leading of the Holy Spirit in my life and wonderful teachers like you, Sally and Clay Clarkson.
Contentment! That is the hardest trait to pass on to my children. There are many close seconds.
Thank you for your encouragement.
The timing of this topic couldn’t be more perfect for my family and I. I have recently been feeling so lost as a mom of a 2 year old girl and a 1 month old boy.
Because of my lack of character training as a child, I am finding it difficult to even know where to begin with my own children.
My desire runs deep to raise them into people God desires them to be. However, how to get there? That is a question I haven’t found the answer to yet.
Sally, Thanks for offering this giveaway. This book is on my “to buy” list. At this point in raising a toddler-self-control is my hardest concept to teach… Of course it is something we all continually struggle with at times. Being kind… Preferring others, sharing and taking turns are big issues in our home in this season if life.
The area that I find most difficult is the kids’ daily discipline of 15 minutes practicing their musical instruments, 15 minutes revising their vocabulary, 5 to 10 minutes organizing their school bags and work desks before school the next day and 5 minutes making their beds in the morning. It seems like such a very small thing, but it really adds up! I’ve tried everything, and while so much is working right at home and at school, this lack of little daily disciplines of course adds up to a whole lot more catching up to do in the long run.
Thank you Mrs. Clarkson for your question to us.
Thank you for the giveaway opportunity. I look forward to reading what is to come on this topic. It is one I really work on in our home, and not always successfully, I must say. The biggest obstacle in one of our two children is self-control/self discipline and contentment. Those seem to go hand in hand in my opinion. Of course I am forever self-examining my own character! I also wonder if I (we, my husband) expect too much from a 7 yr old boy. I truly look forward to upcoming posts. Thank you, Mrs. Clarkson, I adore your passion and outlook on faith, family and motherhood. I share so many of your convictions. As I read your material I nod my head in agreement and amazement at how you’ve read my mind! We as Mother’s are truly blessed to have your insight and dedication. Thank you.
I truly, just yesterday, was thinking of buying this. I would absolutely love to have this for my family devotion time. I loved this post and am truly inspired by you. I had the privilege to be a part of the Homeschool Expo last week and truly loved what you and Clay had to say. Thank you so much.
One of my children struggles with contentment, another with respect, a couple with initiative, one with honesty…they’re all different.
I would say that our biggest battle is with self- control and respect. I totally relate with your post in that if you as a parent were not trained, it is that much harder to train your children. It’s not an excuse, but truth in that you really have so many character flaws within yourself that must be rooted out. I often find myself correcting my children, only to have God whisper to me that I do the very same thing… God knows what He needs to work out in me.
Looking forward to the series.
You’ve hit the nail on the head. I am so very grateful and looking forward to your upcoming series! The character training issues that I am having difficulties with in my children are: strong work ethic in one (resisting laziness, not taking the easy way out, etc) and in the other self-control? (especially to not over-react to frustrations, staying calm, etc……yes, that one is a girl, and I confess I am trying to learn that character trait along with her. ) Everything you said was so true. Not having been raised as a Christian, with a severe lack of character training, I feel SO disadvantaged in trying to train up my own children. But the Lord is gracious & merciful, and they see that mommy is learning it along with them. And your upcoming series gives me hope that He is slowly but surely answering my prayers in this area. Thank You Jesus!
Just one more thing I wanted to say……I appreciate what you said about “training”, because it encourages me to keep on working at it with my children…..it can be really frustrating when you feel like they are not getting it…..but the truth is I need to persevere and not give up, and expect it to take a long time…..because they are learning life-long habits……it’s all summed up in your opening paragraph: “To become excellent in playing, the child must be instructed over a period of many years, hours must be given to practice and learning music. Playing and playing and playing again is the course of action that produces skill and excellence.” THAT’s what I need to expect in training their character. Thank you so much!!!!!!
sally, what you said about moms struggling with the burden of raising children because they are morally weak, undisciplined, complaining really hit home — God has been showing me these things recently, as i’ve been challenged to carry out what i feel He has called me to do with three little ones instead of just one. when things get hard and i get tired, i feel like i have seen my true character come to the surface, and haven’t been particularly impressed. we have named this year, a year of training and rebuilding habits! and mom’s training comes first.
I would absolutely LOVE to win the book!
I think the areas I find most difficult are the areas I’m struggling with myself. Giving others grace, selflessness, working hard at something and persevering, etc. I wonder sometimes how I can ever teach those things to my children, when I continually fail at them myself!
I think the most challenging area of character to teach my 20 month old is to obey joyfully. When confronted with doing something that requires us to put aside our own selfish needs and wants for immediate gratification, we as adults can kick, scream, sulk, etc even though we may eventually obey. I’m trying to show her a life that is grateful, slow to anger and without grumbling and complaining, but I struggle at times. And she is struggling through dealing with her emotions and her lack of self control as well. I’m looking forward to the next few weeks and with God’s help and lots of prayer, I’m hopeful we will both make some strides in a positive direction!
I would love to win this book , thanks for the chance. I would like to improve my communication with my children both ways and really want to make sure they follow through on what they start.
LOVE this topic of study and the chance to win this book. Looking forward to seeing you this weekend! It is always life changing!!
The area of helping her understand between a lie and the truth. She is 5 and I want to help her as much as I can.
would love this book.
Excellent and full of Wisdom! Thank you Sally!
Looking forward to hearning about the book and how to use it.
I would love this book…struggling with obedience right now…two very strong-willed children!
Thank you for this wisdom, Sally. It helps to answer some questions for me about myself. And it is helpful to be able to say, “I lack discipline and many, if not most, of the character traits I want to see in my children” instead of making excuses and trying to find the solution that allows me to circumvent my own character development. I find it oddly comforting to make this statement so boldly. It gives me hope that I can overcome this obstacle. I know it won’t be easy. But I do think it will be better and much more satisfying than living a selfish, unfocused, undisciplined life! It is empowering because it puts the solution in my hands (well, God’s hands, really, but you know what I mean!) rather than “out there” someplace I may never find it!
I’m am really interested in this study. I think we could benefit from working on being content! Thank you.
Obedience with a very strong-willed 4 year old!
Ahhh, delayed gratification.
Self control! Being others-oriented. Compassion. I could go on, but these are the top character qualities I’ve had no success in with my children…. all 8 of them.
I am so thankful God created parenting…. it is the means by which parents grow up!
Thank you for the great post!
I am so excited for this study, thank you!
I’m so excited about this! We been doing Our 24 Family Ways since this summer! So thankful for the resource!
Thank you so much for your wise yet grace-filled words. They always encourage my heart & inspire me to be a different kind of mama! I can’t wait to watch the video. I would have to say the toughest character trait to instill in my boys right now is self control. How to not respond with your flesh but allow the Lord to give you the ability to be supernatural. (Superheros are big in our house these days
Amazingly enough, this is the area I feel like the Lord is working on me.
The character trait that is most difficult to teach at this point is OBEDIENCE. I would love to win a copy of this family devotional. Thank you for the opportunity.
Great topic! I already have the book but would live to win for a friend
Thank you for the opportunity to win this book! I think the thing we struggle with most is a joyful attitude. I think if we could figure out how to improve this, the rest would go so much smoother…
Right now we are dealing with kindness — toward siblings — a lot and working to train our kids to “think of others better than themselves”
Seeing that my oldest is only three right now we are working on obedience….listening when I speak…I so relate to what you are saying,,,my character is being refined Dailey..right along with my child…better late than never
Great insights! Looking forward to this series!
The area I find most difficult to train my 10 yr old daughter in, is the tone of respect while disagreeing. I know she’s still learning to mature in controlling her emotions, but whoa! If she doesn’t “want to” or “agree with” what I say, I feel there’s an attitudinal tone attached to her words. I’m doing my best to mirror in the right way I’d like her to respond – but the sassy talk has got to go! Praying for patience!
Hello, Sally! I have read Mission to motherhood and I am currently reading Desperate. I am blessed through these books immensely. I am a mother of 3 boys. The hardest thing for me and my husband is training in thinking about others. Thank you for the giveaway, I would love to win a copy! Your reader from Moscow, Russia.
I feel like there is a push in our culture to parent by the wind-I am catching myself parenting without purpose. This post is a good reminder to be purposeful in raising a purposeful child. It has also impressed upon me to evaluate what goals we have in raising our children (who do I want my child to be?) and further-am I a woman of these traits? Thank you for sharing your wisdom with so many!
I struggle most with diligence and followup! I am expecting our 8th child in just a couple of weeks and it seems to have all gone out the window.
But if we had been grounded in our routine we wouldn’t be sinking quite so badly. Would love to win a copy! I know it will be great and full of wisdom!
I would love to have this book! I just keeps being mentioned at other sites I have been reading! Thanks for the chance to win one!
I think the hardest area is in teaching self-control. My initial reactions to things can be harsh and then I see that in my kids. They are good mirrors to what I need to work on!
Being consistent is my downfall.
Thank you SO very much Sally. <3
I would love to have this family devotional guide to help me with training my kids. Sometimes having a book helps so much in consistency.
The character quality I find most difficult to cultivate currently is loving others/unselfishness. My kids are all still little and “mine” is their favorite word.
Wow! I will printing this series so I always have your wisdom in my pocket. Thank you Sally! Thank you Jesus for giving her the words and wisdom.
The hardest thing for us right now is training our oldest daughter in self control (whining, complaining, bad attitude, etc)
I find the hardest thing to teach my children is gratefulness…probably because I have a hard time with it myself. I pray the Lord will help our family with this character trait this year.
One of the things I really enjoy about your writing Sally is your willingness to encourage moms to think about how we need to grow and change – it isn’t just about the kids changing! I find your writing so refreshing and helpful for this reason, among others. I think I struggle most with in my kids is their diligence and following through on ideas and projects. Which means I have a problem there too – as does my husband! It is something we both need to work on, but I feel like we are just at the beginning of seeing it. Seeing it in the kids though holds the mirror up for us in a rather uncomfortable way though!
Patience and self-control. And it’s doubly hard when I see my biggest weaknesses played out by my children.
Hi Sally
I can’t quite remember how I first stumbled upon your book, the Mission of Motherhood, but God has used it to truly guide me into a better understanding of my importance as role of mom. I have come to realise God’s sense of humour in giving us children since it seems for me that He is spending more time growing me up than I do growing them up! My hope is that with my 3 little ones watching God work on my weak, stubborn and messy soul, they too will come to see Him as a gracious Father, using us at our very weakest for His glory.
I live in South Africa and so there is little chance of me ever being able to attend one of your conferences so please, please can you have the audio of this 2013 conference available in your store as soon as possible? I would greatly value it.
x lauren