No one sees me–I am lost

Jan Verhas

Precious is the innocent moment when a tiny child, confidently proclaims, “I’ll bet you can’t find me,” while his feet or body are conspicuously sticking out in a very openly exposed place. But, we pretend, for the sake of the child’s innocent heart, that we cannot see him and we say, “Where could Johnny be? I can’t find hin anywhere?”

We allow him to play at being real, and honor his developing ability to interact with life.

Snickers and giggles abound as we look high and low while so very near to the beloved child.

And so, in comparison to God’s transcendence, He allows us, as mere toddlers,  to play at life and seek to grow and explore and exercise our limited human authority to bring about our goals and purposes in life and to expound on our own prowess.

Yet, truly, as our divine parent, He must, at times, allow us to cry and to be sad when we do not understand His greater ways. It hurts to feel lost and to be sad in this, the broken place, where He knows we will never be fulfilled or complete. Yet, He patiently leads, guides and attends to us as we slowly mature and gain perspective. But God is never lost and we are never lost to him. He always sees us wherever we think we are hiding or in the dark.

“Where can I go from thy spirit or where can I flee from thy presence? Even the darkness is not dark to thee and the night is as bright as the day.” Psalm 139

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Eyes wide, glancing out from a weakly attempted smile, my dear friend was making a noble attempt to greet me with a cheerful heart. Cherished time with friends far away is a gift indeed.

Embracing her in a round body carres, I whispered, “You are so very dear to me and to our precious Lord. He loves you more than you will ever know. He sees you, He is with you and He will hold you and guide you.”

Tears filled and burst over her dark black eyelashes as she whispered,

“I feel so lost. I can’t find my old self anymore. I don’t know how to come back to the light.”

“You feel lost, I said, but God is not lost and He has not lost you. Just wait and be still and in time the light will come gently pouring into your heart,” my voice whispered with as much love as I could pour into her darkness.

God’s ways are always best and bring health, joy, beauty and real life. He shares our grief, frustrations and grieves with us in our broken hearts.  However, as a loving Father, He must interfere with our own limited expectations of how we falsely believe that we can find true joy and happiness in this world if we just try to control it enough.  But I have had to learn that  I am a toddler who has so little perspective, think I am hidden, or perhaps at times, in fear of being lost, can pretend and play and at times, pour out tears of sorrow at the difficulties and barriers He allows in my life.  We are all  immature, short sighted and limited,  being held fast by this earth, that God has to pry our hands free from our strong clutches on this world, to force us to look more heavenly and more astutely towards eternity where we will live forever and ever in His true light.

We may feel lost. He is never lost or has lost control over us.

“I am with you always, even unto the end of the earth.”

Until we close our eyes here and awaken into His lovely presence.