The era of Joy and her Beanie Babies, all who had to be prayed for and put to bed each night.
This month marks an ending of an era for me. Joy will leave to go to school at Biola University in California next Tuesday. Waves of sentimentality have been sweeping over me. As I walked up the stairs to our bedrooms, I realized that she will not be there for me to bring a cup of tea in the mornings to start our day together, or to sit on her bed to have late night talks.
Oh, how I will miss sparkling, extraverted, always busy, always thinking and teaching and pondering and reaching out to her gazillion friends, singing, acting, speaking, making life beautiful, Joy.
For over 28 years, I have given over my life to being an intentional mother. I have sacrificed body, my time, my energy, spent many an anxious moment; prayed unending hours; faced conflict and tears and one more moment of training countless times; had thousands of devotions; made thousands and thousands of meals; carpooled everywhere from doctor’s appointments to plays, speech tournaments and productions; listened on her bed for hours and hours of dreams and heart thoughts spilled over late night vigils, and so many more memorable and forgotten services of love extended as faithfully as I knew how.
Last week, Joy picked up a stray dog, Bobbie, and brought it home for a few hours!
And now, as I ponder my life, I feel so very, very blessed and satisfied.
It is not the books I have written that comfort me at night. It is not the blog posts and followers and commenters or the face book fans or the face book friends or the twitter followers or the thousands of sweet moms that have attended our conferences that fill my heart with love, though I am so very grateful for each of them. But it is real live, flesh and blood, Joy, Sarah, Joel, Nathan who hold my hand and say, “I love you, my momma!” –whose love and relationship is what matters to me and to Clay.
Last fall, Joy traveled with me to Hawaii to speak to military wives. Such a sweet time of memories made.
But it is indeed the tangible, best friends, life and joy shared love with my real, next to my side, children that are with me and who have become the most important treasure God has given this side of life. I live daily to talk with them, to love them, to serve them and to pray with them. I am truly the most blessed of women, because God gave me these years of sanctifying me, tenderizing me, disciplining me and teaching me what really matters in life as I followed Him in this call to be a mother, giving his life to those He entrusted into my home.
Joy, last fall, in Sense and Sensibility
When I read and understood, “The Wise woman builds her house,” I know that God’s call on my life, whatever else I did, was to build with the Holy Spirit’s guidance and grace, a godly heritage in my home.
And so my labor of love and worship to God, no matter what else I did, was to accept these precious human beings from His hands as the best and most eternal work I would ever do–to seek to show them Him and to seek to incarnate Him in my home.
My sweet girls, and best friends, this spring, together at a friend’s home.
Taking on this God-designed role, crafted not only the hearts and souls of my children, but it was God’s accountability for my own life to show me more of what He was like as my very own patient Father; to see His unconditional love; to better understand His undying sacrifice for me, his own child.
It was in the building of a godly home that my soul expanded, my knowledge and education grew, my capacity to work stretched, my Biblical knowledge and understanding developed as I taught them, and my heart deepened and grew so very satisfied.
When we walk in God’s ways, mysteriously, we eventually see that His ways fill the longings of our hearts and satisfy the yearnings of our soul for a sense of purpose and belonging to a great cause and people. In submitting to His will, we find what we longed for all along.
…Because in pursuing my precious children and the best for their lives, He was building for Clay and me our own best friends and a tight community of people who belong together and live to love and serve each other–the Clarkson history and heritage that ties all of us together.
Joy in California this spring, where she will be this fall, pursuing the horizons of life with God holding her hand.
And so, I will miss her, I will spend many more hours praying for her and calling her and serving her in new ways, as I have done with my other three precious children, but there will be a deep joy in my soul, a satisfying rest, knowing that choosing this as the work of my life, that my children are the best book I could ever write, has been the right choice for me, and that my work of faith has been met, by Him, with grace, wisdom and eternal blessing.
And Joy, one of God’s best gifts, will continue to fill my heart and soul with such humble gratefulness and joy. I love you, my sweet girl. God will be with you and you will be with me always in my heart.
I just can’t wait to see the adventures and courses God has prepared for you to walk. May You know His presence and blessing each and every day, because, as you know, you are also so very dear to Him, too.
Thank you for this! This is a glimpse to the light at the end of the tunnel for me jsut starting out motherhood. I have two under two and the days are long and the nights can be harder
. I am half way through the Ministry of Motherhoodand you have been so encouraging to me and I really needed to read this today- this is what I am working towards! This relationship and dedication to my children all for HIS glory. You are so blessed. Thank you Mrs. Clarkson!!
PS I am working towards leading a small group on the MoM book this fall. Thank you again for blessing me and the other moms participating in the study
Alexis, I have 2 under 2 also and am halfway through the Ministry of Motherhood too!!
Sally, thank you so much for your dedication to Christ’s work in the lives of your children! And thank you for writing your journey down in a book so that others can read it! I was struggling with finding what kind of direction to follow in motherhood, since I wanted to show my children Christ in every day life, but was totally overwhelmed with trying to come up with a plan! When I read in your book that your decided to simply follow Christ’s example of discipleship, something truly clicked with me and gave me so much hope and inspiration!
What a blessing it’s been too, to read Mom Heart Online and I Take Joy!
Thank you so much!
Jennifer
that’s so sweet! I’m sorry, and happy, that you have seen your daughter grow and now leave the nest. All the best to her as the Lord leads.
Thank you for sharing your heart! They are the words I needed to hear as I prepare for another year of schooling my 3 boys (13, 11 and 9). What seems like an infinite stretch right now is but a blink of an eye and I do so want to be intentional in my service and discipling of them. I want to send 3 young men into this world who love the Lord with all their heart and who understand that they have a purpose beyond themselves. I am so thankful for your example and willingness to open your life to us mommas who need that encouragement. You are a blessing beyond measure, Sally!
God bless you ma for this great post. You are such an inspiration to me especially now starting my own journey of motherhood. I have a two year old and it is still a long way there. reading from you just gives you hope and helps to cast a better vision for my own journey of motherhood. i have not been able to get your books here in my country Nigeria and i wish i can get them or a link to get them.God bless you and may he continually keep you and all that is yours.
I am traveling to Nigeria in November. Would love to chat with you. Email me at carisah@nwi.net.
@CARISA, SENT YOU AN EMAIL BUT YET TO SEE YOUR REPLY
What an encouragement you are! And what a beautiful picture of intentional, enduring, forever motherhood your paint. Thank you taking so much pleasure in motherhood and sharing what you have learned on the journey.
Ach. I can feel the Joy (both literally & figuratively) oozing out of this post! It is such an encouragement and push for all of us mothers out here! Thank you!
Love this post, and the first picture of Joy is adorable. Saying a prayer for you as this new season begins. Hugs!
Thank you! Thank you! This is just what I needed to read. We had our first ever day of homeschool today with my 5, 3, and 1 year old. I can see already that God will use this experience to teach and shape me as much it will train them. Your words are such an encouragement. I can’t tell you how much I have been changed by your example! God Bless!
Wow! Totally in tears here. So inspiring and encouraging!!!!!!
Thanks for the words that express how I feel along with other moms of adults I’m sure.
Sally, thank you for this post. I struggle with doubt (I’m surely ruining them!!) and fear (What if they turn out to be self-centered lunatics!!), but I feel encouraged to stay the course and press on. I think my most prayed prayer is this: “Lord, please fill in the gaps because I leave so many!” But I make the mistake of thinking it’s all up to me, when really, it’s all about God’s grace.
I pray all the blessings in the world for Joy as she heads to Biola (I went to Biola too!) and for you as you watch her go. Thanks for being a very real and helpful example to so many of us moms coming along behind you.
Sally I just finished reading your book The Mission of Motherhood and can I just tell you that it totally revolutionized my life as a mom.
I had no idea you had a blog, a fellow blogger pointed this out to me. I feel like I HIT GOLD! I am definitely going to be your newest follower and I so look forward to more posts from you. This totally made my day I cannot believe it!!
By the way, I live around the corner from Biola! I’m positive you raised a fine lady, but if she ever needs anything – you can direct her my way. It is the least I could do for th thousands of ways you have blessed me.
Forever grateful for you,
Patty (from http://www.fanta4two.com)