Whatever you want your children to cherish and tuck deeply into their hearts must be something that is an intentional part of their lives every day, every season. Loving one another, as adults find out in marriage quickly enough, is a choice, not a feeling. Honor given to another is an attitude of humility and respect that is trained into a young child and practiced over many years. So, those who cultivate love and respect find it blooming more than those who leave it unattended.
Consequently, if you want to have children who know what it means to exhibit generous, unconditional love, you must help them practice loving every day. When my children were young, at regular intervals, I would give them practical ways that we would practice love and giving encouragement to others.
First, we had studied our 24 Family Ways and memorized them and learned the verses.
“We treat one another with kindness, gentleness and respect,” was one of the ways that our children heard and wrote over and over again, so that this principle became a pathway in their brain.
Then, I would create ways, over the years, to help them practice taking the initiative to extend their words and actions of love towards others they cherished.
Once, we made a list of 20 people that were special to our family. Together, we spent a whole day baking–cookies, bread, cinnamon rolls. While we waited for them to bake, I provided doilies, markers, paper, ribbon and glue and we spent the day crafting “I love you, I am so thankful you are my friend,” and “I appreciate you and thank God for you,” cards. Each was of the kids own making and each child chose one of the 20 to present his card to.
Finally, we all gathered our plates of goodies, ribboned and carded, and placed them gingerly in the car, and we were off. It took us 4 hours to deliver them to all of the homes of those we had chosen to “give our words of love to,” and it delighted and filled all of my precious ones with memories of how much a tiny thoughtful gift can mean to someone who needs to hear the words, “I love you.”
The patterns practiced are a part of who my children perceive themselves to be now as adults–lovers of others. The habit of being thoughtful was a learned value, having practiced it regularly. The fruit is a soul that emanates love, from being planted by seeds of intention and carried out by cultivating and watering those seeds with deeds of kindness, led by a mother who gave her time.
Sally, This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
You have been such an inspiration to me over the last 12 years. This is one of the many reasons I love you so much. You breathed life into my family so many times and I am so grateful for your life and ministry. Thanks so much for being so faithful to God’s calling. Only eternity will tell you what an impact you’ve had on our family.
Thank you for showing us how to make love real and present in our lives with these beautiful examples. After reading your blog these last few days, I’ve decided to make February the month of LOVE in our house and fill our days with God’s words about love, loving acts towards my husband and daughter and dreaming up and praying for as many loving inspirations as possible. Already I’m seeing this love being reflected back at me in my sweet daughter’s smile and my husband’s tender care. Thank you, Sally!! You are a precious gift to me and my family over and over!!
I bought Our 24 Family Ways at the conference and then came home and read this–so inspired, refreshed, and my soul soars! Thank you for sharing your gifts and precious family and team with the rest of us!
What a lovely idea…just in time for Valentine’s Day too! I would LOVE to spend Monday doing this with my children…I’m just praying we are all better by then, we have had a nasty bug at our house. Thank you so much for sharing!! Thank you for the encouragement to spread LOVE and CHEER with our children!!