Joy and me at a photo shoot for 25 new photographers who needed subjects to ”practice on” at Garden of the Gods, two weeks ago.(She is my pajama’d friend of the story below.)
The best of best moments.
It wasn’t going to a Broadway play in New York City–though that was amazing. It wasn’t seeing the Statue of Liberty up close, or Time Square and real NY Cheesecake. It wasn’t the train rides, visiting with lovely, thoughtful women in the homes where we stayed, though the time shared and dreams and ideals expressed, was of the sweetest kind of soul-sharing.
It wasn’t even the stimulating fellowship at the poignant Relevant Blogging conference, where I interacted with and engaged with 200 gifted, sweet, encouraging writers. Also, an encounter I will long remember.
But two moments pressed into my memories.
Late Sunday night, Comfy, squishy, black cotton pj’s adorned my weary body as I plumped two pillows from my bed. Patting them, I gestured to my amber-eyed, tossled haired, barely distinguishable freckled, 15 year old to lay down on my pillowed lap. Clothed in her own warm flannels, she squished up on the couch, draping her legs over the end. Her warm body helped disperse the chill of our first cold night.
Sharing profound soul-thoughts, laughing at stories from the days of the week, tearing up over the needs of friends, planning life together, she only wanted me to be her friend, companion of these quiet moments, one who listens and hears beyond the words,–she wanted me only to be her mother. I tenderly stroked her hair out of her eyes, and caressed the sweet face so close to mine. What a gift that God chose me to be her mother–the one who had the unique calling to breathe life and beauty and hope and inspiration into her soul. That He would choose me for her, a gift beyond understanding.
What comfort came to me–the one who does not like the spotlight or to be the center of attention. Me, inside feeling fragile in crowds of women, inferior in my own eyes, not knowing what to share, but learning to press through what God has put on my plate to do.
Never feeling that I quite fit in–but here, in the quiet of a Sunday night, I fit in as my true self was known, and fully embraced in the sweet lingering moments of sleepy late night.
The second moment, pattering out of bed in the semi-darkness of 6 a.m. sun rising light, I reach for the empty kettle. Gathering mug and cup, I “put on the tea” and settled into mommy arm chair and he into his leather, manly one, “50 year old birthday present” from 9 years ago. Together, we shared in the sweet, quiet moments together of life, dreams, work, a thumb injury, the phone calls and issues of our very own children, the sharing of what it feels like to get old together when surrounded by so many young, talented people.
Thirty precious years of this early morning reverie. But this moment, made new again by his presence and listening ears. This, the secure comfort with my stable, strong, always “there for me” husband, no performance–all sins known from long ago, known and souls laid bare. This “knowing and still loving” comfort, built over 30 years of the life we have struggled through and celebrated together. This my second moment of grace that soothed my soul and spoke to me, “Ah, it is good to be truly home.”
You share beautiful images of what the depth of rich life should look like. Thank you for taking the time to put your heart into words so that the rest if us can be encouraged to keep going deeper with those precious ones that God has placed in our lives. Love you.
What a wonderful writing, so much said, so full of relationships and love. Thank you.
Such great writing, painting a picture in my mind, and love is the central theme. Thank you for sharing such great treasures.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing the beauty these sweet relationships. My oldest daughter will be 15 on Friday. I long for more moments like you described.
Dear Sally,
Ah, it was good, deeply good to read your words about the best moments. I re-read them slowly just to soak and remind again~ of what matters. Though I wasn’t able to go Relevant, I was bubbling with excitement that those ladies coming for a blogging writer’s conference were going to hear from you, from Sally. And I knew that even though you love writing and words and reading and reaching people~ you first love Him who gave you a burning passion to love your children and to continue to point the way for other mamas to do the same. Because I have been to four of your WWM conferences, I knew most of those ladies would hear words of life and a true heart for what matters that they have most likely never heard. The first WWM conference I attended in Dallas in 2004 was a turn around point for me. I was on the wide path in parenting and suddenly found myself on the beautiful, narrow, inviting, luscious path to life in being a mama and tending a child’s heart and I have been ruined for anything else since. These words you wrote today about your time with sweet Joy are life to me. They are what Jesus will whisper to me all day long as I head into the day with Annie, my sweet ten year old. Though the day is steeped with tasks, school, a deadline, an appointment, He will remind me of your pillow time with Joy and that is what matters~ our hearts connected and knitted to our children’s hearts. Tears as I say thank you, Sally. Truly I thank you. And I am praying for you and Clay and WWM that He will meet all your needs according to His riches in glory. Here’s a little something for your beautiful fall weather. Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. ~Albert Camus
Love, Ashley in Texas
Ashley, Beautifully said!
I love this, Mommy.
Beautiful, Sally! Thank you!
I love this. I want this. I want to be at the point in my life where I truly understand and appreciate the incredible gifts God has given me in my family. I needed to read this today – struggling to readjust to home life after the weekend at Relevant. Thank you – both for these words and the words you shared this weekend. I cannot wait to continue this journey together, as I read your words and allow God to change my life through them.
Sally, What wonderful words you share with us. You create a masterpiece in our minds and longings in our hearts to have these such times in our own lives. Although my children are mostly all grown, I still long for them to come “share” with me and let me be their friend and Momma. Some, I still have this with, others, we are working on. Thank you so much for your encouragement and your heart.
Love,
Deb
This is simply beautiful! God spoke to me very clearly through several of your blog posts. I’ve been married to my husband for ten years and we have two beautiful boys and a daughter we’re adopting from Haiti right now. I have been seeking balance and a place to “fit” for so long! Also teetering between figuring out if we want to home school (I’m doing pre-k right now from home) or put our son in public school.
I’m very eager to read your books and keep up with your blog. Thank you for writing your wisdom and truth to pass on. I want to be on of those women who can firmly hold a torch like this up as a light to those living in a quickly fading society. I want to be someone who can bring warmth and joy and Jesus to people who haven’t had a true glimpse.
THANK you for being a mentor to young women like me!
Lovely words and oh such a lovely photo of you both!