“Do you just drink tea and light candles all the time every day? When do you get work accomplished and what do you do with the rest of your time?” was the question of someone who had read a few of my posts but didn’t know much about me.
I am 59, almost 60, and I have never been busier in my life. I am a cook by ideals, personality and taste and so I cook most nights, still have 2-4 adult children living at home or coming in and out, am married to a visionary husband who has an endless list of ideals and books and projects he wants us to accomplish in the next 10 years. Every day people make messes around here and bills have to be paid and blogs written, speaking trips, talking to each child or writing them every day and friends and Bible studies and holidays, and new books each year and mentoring. And the list goes on and on–just like yours does.
Why wouldn’t I want to light candles and listen to music and try to have some moment in my day that seemed quiet and peaceful?
When I was in my mid-40′s, I suddenly realized that a wise woman keeps her own soul alive as no one else was looking out for my soul but me. This is a long-distance race and doesn’t slow down so far as I can see, so it must be run with wisdom. Sabbath rest for my emotions, my body, my soul–my everything, is necessary for me to last well.
Unfortunately for me it means, not leaving comments on my own blog with women whose stories and comments I love to read–because I would have to sacrifice my personal time at home if I did. It means not answering important messages on facebook and letting many emails go–as no one, especially me, can keep up with thousands and thousands of messages a year and keep a balanced life and still have a quiet time and walk daily for my health and look my children and husband in the face and listen to them and not go crazy from always being busy–I had to cut somewhere. And I rarely answer my phone, no matter who or how often, unless it is my children or Clay.
Now, after a busy season I find my soul desperately needing to relax and rest and just be quiet without any new adrenalin-filled ideas or people needing me.
When I can, I sleep! Sleep keeps a body from getting ill and keeps it healthy.
I must take care of myself and intentionally step back and enjoy a few favorite things-because in giving out the past months, I am empty and so I must fill myself back up so I will have more to give–it is an endless cycle of giving–filling up–giving–filling up, that must take place for life to flourish.
When I travel, especially if I’m to be alone, there are a few things I intentionally pack and bring along to help me feel at home, while away so often–a rose table covering or scarf and vanilla candles; Yorkshire gold tea and a china tea cup (keeps it hotter!); my favorite flower-covered lap throw as I hate to be cold on planes or in a hotel room or anywhere; lots of music–celtic, soundtracks of Pride and Prejudice, Mrs. Potter, Ladies in Lavendar; Joshua Bales and of course my wonderful Joel’s music and lots of indy artists.
When I get home I will take long walks in the mountains and enjoy more of the things I’ve drawn close at home–surroundings in the color blue and also rose;
sweet friends who love me and care about me-
-I need them so much with not so much family in my life–my children are some of those best friends, and there are a few special buddies who love me no matter what;
great books and stories, Victoria magazine;
salad with lots of veggie’s and avocado and walnuts or pecans and always onions;
chocolate–especially any chocolate with nuts; (dark chocolate salted almond) and especially Lindt–the dark one with the blue foil wrapper; if it isn’t going to be with nuts.
a hot bath that covers my whole body–I love baths;
talking with Nate and Joy to see how California and the other far places in the world are doing;
sitting around my dinner table or in the den talking and laughing every night with Clay, Sarah, and Joel–and of course, Kelsey, our beloved, neurotic golden retriever.
reading encouraging letters or emails from friends; Calling my loved ones for long talks, to keep up, when I have planned it;
studying the Word and being with my precious Jesus and pondering Him! Reading soul stirring books and captivating novels.
I know it’s time to surround myself with these things so I can be restored.
Comfort for me will be something of a rhythm. Scrambled Eggs with cheese, home made, whole grain bread, potato soup, French Food and Mexican food and fresh food (love fruit and veggies).
Old fashioned chocolate chip cookies with pecans that Sarah makes … (The secret to good cookies is to always whip the butter, vanilla, sugar and eggs by themselves for 5-10 minutes on high and then don’t bake the cookies too long–they will cook a little more after they are out and on a stone and they will dry out a little, and you don’t want them tough!)
Of course there must be pots of strong tea. And good strong coffee. And some great English drama series or mysteries or dramas that we can be romantic or adventuresome with and enjoy the countryside and dream.
Some favorites that we have watched over the years (we almost have them memorized!) are:
Pride and Prejudice (the new and the old 8 hour one!)
Sense and Sensibility
Persuasion
Emma
Larkrise to Candleford–so wonderful and new, but they are canceling it after its 4th season!
David Copperfield
Wives and Daughters
Victoria and Albert and Young Victoria
Mrs. Brown
Daniel Deronda
and more……..
These are some books we’ve found which paint delightful pictures of life-giving homes …
Brambly Hedge–delightful children’s picture book series from England–more contemporary than Beatrix Potter and has the most inviting pictures of the inside of an English Home that is lived in by precious animals–lovely– and worth buying second hand for your own library.
Pilgrim Inn–a favorite book from an old English author, Elizabeth Goudge, whose story is about the redemption of people in a home, and family after World War II-a book for adult readers or older teens. Also shows the mending of a marriage and grace that comes through acceptance. Makes the home come alive through a window into loving, giving grace, and living as a family. (All of Gouge’s books.)
Wendall Berry books to harken me to ideals, community, real relationships, a technology free life and centering on what matters.
TV series on Net Flicks about history, mystery, great stories, drama, story–things that are fun for my soul.
I love Edith Schaeffer’s books–The Hidden Art of Homemaking and What is a Family for instruction and stories about her own family and the life of using her home as a place of ministry and of course the story of L’Abri; a must-read for families to picture the hand of God at work in the life of people who live by faith–heart warming stories.
Also, I collect old Eloise Wilkin (an artist) books because her beautiful pictures of children in family, playing, doing chores, helping mommy and wonderful pictures of home are a great way to put pictures in your children’s minds of the importance of family and home. These are simple children’s picture books, and the first imprint I put on my children’s brains about family, home and Mommy!
Loved the melted cheese passages in Heidi, another must-read-aloud–a picture of salvation through a great story. It gives us a beautiful picture of creation. This author wrote purposefully, to give children literature to lead them to Christ. (We translated one of her stories into English for the first time in our book that we publish called The Gold Thread–the story was called The Rose Child and can be found through our website.)
Just David–also one of my favorite books in the world–such a picture of a child’s heart redeeming a whole village because of is wonderful integrity–we published this, too so you can find this through our website also!
The Little Princess–also a must read-aloud in our home–the meal she took on her porch was especially delightful!
I could go on and on about things that bring me pleasure, but these a few of my favorite things.
And I will continue building into the treasure chest of these jewels so that my soul can stay healthy and strong, because a mature woman takes care of her own soul.
So I am off to rest and lie down in green pastures and let the Lord restore my soul while I give him a little practical help by pulling back and waiting till I am filled up again!
Even with Elijah, He touched him, fed him, let him sleep and then repeated it all over again.
So, use this weekend well and choose those things which will fill the drained places.
Peace, Selah
I love this post! How grateful I am for your example, sweet friend, and for the okay you’ve given my desire to always make life beautiful … even when it doesn’t seem very practical. What a joy a simple candle or vase of flowers can be to everyone in the house, not just me! And I’m copying your movie and book lists too–Pilgrim’s Inn was a favorite already here! Love to you today!
Sally,
I admire your walk with the lord and heart for your home and people. I have a questione u may have addressed before. What do u do when you , or more like what did you do when are if ur kids pitched a fit about getting dressed, eating, brushing teth, cleaning, naps, leaving the hours coming home, the choice…..I love my kids and want to be patient and gentle but have had my hands – ears full of crying and this week, i am so sick of hearing it’s not fair of constant whinning. I know they are just children…but how do I teach them in a godly manner not to pitch a fit if they got the wrong bowl, or I ask them to clean up there toys – that I let sit displayed for a week ( my son was very proud of his new knite set), or get dressed in clothes that some what match…or come when I call them, like when they are walking home from the park, every wall , rock and is a stop….sometimes I just want to get home. Anyway ….I just would love to hear a post, what to do on those days when your the only adult around and every step of the day is hard. What to do when u r out of patience?? What did u do?
I know u have a lot on ur plate so I am not expecting a personal answer. Just thought maybe in one of your posts u could talk about that. I am hoping for my birthday in August to get one of your books.
Soaking up your wisdom all the way in Jerusalem, Israel.
Elliejoy
Wow…you live in Jerusalem, that is awesome. I’ve truly been in your shoes. Do you have any of Sally’ s books? I think you would find Mission of Motherhood and Ministry of Motherhood helpful. I have come to learn that part of the problem was my own attitude and the way I chose to handle things. It didn’t help that I didn’t take the time to take care of myself…I thought if I asked for help it meant that I was a failure. NOT TRUE!! Praying for you sweet mom’s…I hope you get some help and refreshing. God bless you !
Not answering every email or comment makes complete sense. I sometimes find myself having a hard time keeping up and my blog is VERY small. So good to hear that we can’t do it all because if we do then other more important things suffer. We need to do what God has called us to do and not worry about the rest. Thank you again, Sally, for your wisdom. I think I’ll go light a candle.
God bless you, Sally! This was a comforting post to read. I love your list of books, movies, and shows! Lark Rise is one of my all-time favorite TV shows! For those of you who haven’t seen it, get yourself to a library today and check out the DVDs! Yes, it was a bummer that it ended after the fourth season, but it ended well. That show is my one weakness ( ha ha!) and even though I have seen all of the episodes a few times, I am working my way through the series again, this time with my family. It is a show that my 5 and 3 year old love. We watch an episode a week and really enjoy sitting down to something that entertains the kids and adults at the same time. Once again, great, great list you gave here!
Wonderful post and I know people who care for you send out “hellos”, knowing we’d rather see you rest than reply.
I have a two year old, a five year old and a seven year old. We are restoring a 93 year home and homestead. We grow, bake and make all sorts of things to sell. We teach our children at home. Nearly everything here is made from scratch and there are few conveniences. We are busy, of course. Who isn’t?
But, we all make choices. Right now, I am choosing to read this blog to be encouraged for my day. I have a cup of tea next to me and the oven is preheating for some scones and the “P&P” soundtrack is playing in the background.
We can all enjoy moments throughout our busy, busy days to restore our soul. And we need to. The moments of beauty help to calm my heart and restore my focus on Him and serving His people. And I need that bc serving is wearying and not at all natural to me!
And most of your favorite things and GREAT favorites here! In fact, the scones and more tea will be enjoyed later when I continue our realoud, “A Little Princess”.
Hmm…read aloud…was what I meant to type!
Sally, Sally, Sally!!!
This may well be one of my FAVORITE posts you’ve ever written! And it is definitely one of my favorite lessons you have taught me.
Creating beauty suited to our own tastes is a pleasure!!!
Two Saturday nights ago we put the babies to bed. I ran to get us Oreo Peanut Butter shakes from a local dive. We watched Pride & Prejudice and I made curtains…we’re living a beautiful life because of a little effort and intentionality.
Wish I could have joined you! How fun!!
So, so good! Thank you for all the ideas!
Deuteronomy 31:8 – my life verse! What a blessing your posts are, but especially this one! Blessings on you and your family. . .
Thank you for this post. It takes a lot of discipline to prioritize the needs of your family above emails, blog comments, etc. I admire your ability to appreciate the physical beauty of your surroundings as well as the beauty in life in general.
This was beautiful!!! You have always been an amazing encouragement in my life I have read almost all of your books favorite being Mission to Motherhood that book was a pivotal point in my life as a mommy to 7 kids and being burned out with trying to do it all with church and raise a FAMILY first and foremost it gave me peace to know it is okay to be at HOME that was where my Mission currently was
Thank you Sally for mentoring and encouraging so many of us 
Cindy
Thank you for this post and the wonderful ideas.
You are right, we do need to take responsibility to bring beauty and nurturing things into our own life.
Maybe a reader can answer this question for me…
I often see the Pride and Prejuduce soundtrack mentioned as being wonderful. Which soundtrack is it? The most recent movie or is it from an A&E version or some other. Thanks so much!
Speaking of music, at the conference, there was some wonderful music in the background that I would like to know more about. I know of course Joel’s music was played, and I think that is wonderful, too, but there was something else like worship music with lyrics that was wonderful and I would have loved to find out what it was so I could get a copy. I am assuming it was an artist’s entire CD. It had a slightly etheral quality to it, and while I recognized having heard one of the songs before, (it went “I want to say…holy is your name….” but I don’t know who the artist was.) I wonder if anyone knows what music was played.
Just looking for some good ideas and high quality music to put on during the day.
This is the one I love,
http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Music-Motion-Picture/dp/B000BEZQ0Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362768267&sr=8-1&keywords=pride+and+prejudice+soundtrack
There are sample clips at the link.
Just reading your words refreshes my soul. I have been inspired by you since reading “The Mission of Motherhood” quite awhile ago. God blessed my husband and me with a son when I was 43 and a daughter when I was 45. I am 55 and trying to be the mother He wants me to be. I believe God has used you to help me tremendously while I take this journey. I keep a copy of Mof M by my favorite chair and refer to it often. THANK-YOU for doing what you do. I pray you enjoy your rest.
Sally,
Once again you nailed it. I used to think I was over-indulging by wanting to do these things, but when I turned 40 I outgrew that. : )
I have purposed to instruct my daughter in these ways, even at age 7, so that she is equipped with this wisdom far sooner than I ever was.
Thank you for the continuous encouragement.
Fondly,
SS
Thank you for this! You listed many of my favorites as well. Now I know someone else who enjoys Victoria magazine. It is the one magazine that I have kept over the years. Wishing you an evening filled with love, laughter, and beauty.
Loved this post. You refresh my soul. Thanks for sharing things that refresh yours. I recently got the whole series of Brambly Hedge books (after reading about them in your daughter Sarah’s book) from the library to read to our 3 little ones, 6, 4 and 2. They loved them and I loved reading them! I am reading Heidi to my oldest right now.
Lovely!
Just real quick & hoping you can answer back quickly
–
Where do you find Yorkshire gold tea? We are up in WY. Our grocery store choices are Safeway, Albertsons, and Smiths (Kroger affiliate) and of course Walmart. I have not seen it, although they do carry Twinings English Breakfast. Would love to try it but don’t know where to look.
Sweetest Sally,
I love that you gave the secrest to good cookies!! I will try it! As I have been baking challenged today. It wasn’t really the baking, it was the cake decorating.
A new favorite of mine is the movie The Inheritance. Beautiful. It is one of Louisa May Alcott’s orignal stories. I believe it was her first. If you want to enjoy a lovely afternoon ~ watch The Inheritance.
Hugs,
Michelle
Such words of wisdom. Thank you for blessing your readers once again, Sally!
P.S. You had me at Lark Rise. And Eloise Wilkin. And Heidi with her toasted cheese (now I’m hungry). And Miss Potter. I do believe we are kindred!
Dear Sally, with gratitude again i read your post. i keep learning from your example. by taking rest it is possible to unlock our hidden potential and enormous energy for good work. Good work also can take the form of a positive outlook on life, and speaking constructive words. Also, you set an example to me that one does not have to always physically be there to lift another out of suffering. Your example of living faith in daily life has lifted me and strengthened my own faith in God. I recently had a conversation with my own mother and I felt myself falling again into a dark hole, a a frightened child again. Suddenly I saw your smiling face looking directly to me with bright eyes, saying, you are doing Good, sweet mother! And in that split second I remembered that I have never been alone, God has always be there and has always taken care of me. So I have nothing to be frightened of. I must always remember this and remember God, so that I can be the best and happy mom for my own family. In respect and love, anuradha.
Hi Sally,
I really love it when you post about books that you love and read and have read to the children, many are my favourites too and I’m reading now to my small girls. I live in a high rise in Asia and how life is lived there now for you is probably very different to us. But no matter! It’s wonderful to read about your love of life and home, and how you’ve passed this on to your children. The home is a sanctuary, where ever it is, and your encouragements and tips are gratefully received!
I think we as women don’t take the time enough to re-fill ourselves. I know I don’t. But oh how much better to do so!
Pamper yourself Sally….
Deanna
Thank you so much for this wonderful encouraging post to this sometimes weary mom of 7~I also wanted to share a new “favorite” that I just discovered on Netflix~Call the Midwife. A wonderful series about midwives in a difficult poverty stricken area in London(East End, I think)Very inspiring! God bless you!
Oh Sally…thank you so much for this timely reminder that I NEED to take care of myself. I always feel guilty for wanting any time for myself. There never seems to be enough time to do everything…now I am also in my mid-forties and feeling burnt out. I will consider some of your lovely methods to refresh myself. It was so nice to get to know the real Sally…thank you for sharing your heart.
The salad in the picture looks wonderful! If you ever get a chance to – I’m sure this would be an awesome and well appreciated recipe to post!
I love this post also, almost all of your “favorite things” are mine as well. In your list of favorite movies to watch, the only one you left out that is also on my list is Miss Potter, the story of Beatrix Potter, I’m sure you have seen it and just forgot it, if not, you will need to find it and you will love it, I’m sure!
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