Hey Sweet Momma, You’re tons of fun and a great cook. Joy
Awakening to the darkness of an early day, I sleepily sauntered into the kitchen to make my early morning cuppa. Joy had thought ahead and placed this napkin message on the place she knew I would be making her breakfast. Taking her an early cup of tea each morning to awaken her and then making a hot breakfast of some kind and sending her off to her college classes with a prayer and a verse is our way around here these days. It is my way of filling her heart cup just a little before she forays off into the world of clashing values, a variety of challenges and people.
Showing what is in her own heart, gratefulness and the willingness to give back to me, is what warmed me when I found her sweet note. Gratefulness is not a natural character trait–it must be trainend, modeled, lived, practiced, cultivated.
So it is with all character. I often think that women that I speak with don’t get the picture of discipleship. Their minds think like this, “I clothe my children, I provide their basic needs, we go to church, we have a fairly Christian home, and I think it is enough for my children.
However, when I picture my children’s souls as a garden and realize that greatness of character must be planted, cultivated, fertilized, watered, protected, removing weeds and bugs and all that would kill the garden of their soul, I understand that discipleship is very intentional. It must be a daily, moment by moment endeavor. It is a way of life input. Excellence of character is not an accident. It is a purposed goal, and it must be trained over and over and over.
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
I was reading an article about brains and it goes so well along with this verse. When children are very young, we can create pathways, deep highways of thoughts in their brains. We teach a truth and then we repeat it and then we practice it and so on, and each time a word and concept are repeated, it is like going over the path again and it creates deeper pathways and broader highways of brain patterns, and when the brain integrates new ideas or words, it immediately goes to the pathway already established in order to integrate an idea. So the more we train, talk, verbalize, and give our children food for thought about this concept where they speak back and interact more about an idea, the more clearly this concept is set.
I love it when science elucidates biblical principles–train up a child, over and over and over and in many different ways and in many different scenarios, and when he is old, it will be the first go to response of the adult because it is a deep pathway in his mind.
That is why children must be attended to by their parents—otherwise the soil of their hearts will just be subject to whatever else is planted their if the intentional planting and gardening is not well established. Whatever is planted, fertilized, watered and given sunlight will grow deep roots in their souls.
So many children just have fallow ground for their heart–not much intentionally planted, and so seeds and weeds and blown in by the wind and take over the uncultivated ground.
Training, then, will be the topic of some of my near articles, in between all the rest of life issues as I write about them.
So, today, what do you want to plant? What character qualities do you want to harvest in the lives of your self and in your own children?
Needed this reminder today. Thank you Sweet Sally.
I woke with the desire to share about the Sympathy vs Strictness that I’ve been reminded of in the ETWC Book. I think I will forward this message along with what I’ve learned as well. Thank you Sally for continuing to encourage us!
What is ETWC? Thank you!
I think she mean the Educating the WholeHearted Child book (see side links)
Thanks for this great word Sally! Will be sharing it this week at our Mom’s Bible study as we go over chapter 2 of Dancing with My Father and discuss John 15 and what it means to abide.
I think too sometimes we spend so much time weeding the gardens of our children’s hearts that we forget to weed our own and the week is over and in vain because I didn’t reflect Christ’s character to them. And…it’s ONLY MONDAY!!!
Love to you, thank you for this this morning. I’m so thankful the Lord always uses you to make me want to be more like Jesus.
Thank you for the reminder today. As my oldest (age 7) starts to show fruit of our discipleship, it encourages me to be faithful with our youngest ones. I enjoy your encouragement in my mothering journey.
Boys are different! I was joking around and I showed this note to my son this morning and said you could leave me a note like this once in a while, once a month would be good. He said, “humph” , that’s the nearest I could come to the sound he made, ha ha. But you are so right, I remember crying out to God for wisdom many years ago asking, “How can I teach my children godly character?” The answer was so clear but also very difficult and next to impossible without the grace of God; “Become what you want them to be”. Setting a good example is the biggest and the first step. Thanks for sharing, I made French Toast this morning, (not a normal thing around here) and after reading this I’m glad I did!!
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That’s a great post! In fact one of the things I love about homeschooling is that I get to plant seeds and water them often, throughout the day. I do think character needs to be trained, and they do need constant reminding and teaching in a gentle and patient way. My husband is big on teaching the children to be giving, and I try and remind them in as many good things as I can when they come up. Patience is a big one, and not being selfish but kind, since mine are all little right now and these things come up a lot! I also try to get them to say thank you for things, and it is so heartwarming when they say thank you all by themselves.
Thanks Sally. I needed to be reminded of that on this rough Monday morning.
Great reminder! I always enjoy gleaning from your wisdom. My question is what about boys? I have 3 highly energetic boys and they are all “boy”. I think having one boy is different than multiple boys. Plus, my husband has a great sense of humor which they have all inherited or at least think they have inherited. They are always being silly and trying to be funny. Family devotions is a joke in our house! They are so giggly and silly. I have resorted to not trying a group devotion but to pray with and teach them separately. Every Sunday I feel like at least one of my boys get in trouble. Church is a struggle. My husband loves God and loves them but doesn’t seem to think about being intentional with training them. I don’t think he had a good example growing up. Often times I feel alone in the training and feel like I am getting nowhere. Do you have a book or anything to recommend? Any advice? I get so discouraged.
Also, my middle son, who is 9, is the classic strong-willed and stubborn child. He is SO difficult and despite our efforts he really disrupts our home. We don’t let him but it feels that way. My other boys are 11 and 5.
My exact e-mail to my husband when I sent him the link to this article was, “Someday I will read a Sally Clarkson post without crying… but today is not one of those days.” Thank you for your encouragement to love and disciple our children. Thank you for always presenting motherhood as what it truly is, an amazing blessing and calling on our lives and not a burden. Yesterday when we were at the grocery store my 5 year old son saw some flowers and asked if he could take flowers to his grandma because he knew she would love them. It was one of the first times I have been able to “see” him thinking of others. It was very special!
I was just thinking today how the way both of my “kids” are now is a result of that precept upon precept, line upon line, chat upon chat… way of raising them.
I remember when Stephanie was still at home, she was helping serve the many guests in our home who had come over after my mother’s funeral. A family member asked me how she did such a gracious job at being a hostess and all and I said “training”. They looked at me as if I had two heads!
For hundreds and hundreds of years, children spent their days with their parents and received hands on training for life… physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc… but now so few spend more than an hour or so in real mentoring from their parents and we wonder why they turn out looking just like the World… sigh.
Can you tell this is my soapbox, my friend? Wonderful writing!
Your children honor you the way you have honored them during the years of ‘discipling’. May you continue to reap the beautiful harvest of all you’ve sewn into their lives and hearts. Knowing you makes me want to know Jesus more. I love your love of Him – thanks for sharing your vulnerable heart over and over again.
Thank you for your encouragement in this! I have been very stirred in spirit lately over the idea of discipleship. “These are my disciples.”
The enemy sneaks in and says I am doing nothing “for the kingdom” and wasting my “talents” so to hear your encouragement refreshes my resolve
Blessings!
~Monica
Desiring to be intentional with training my children, I have always been surprised that others seemed to not understand that concept. I have always been delighted to read your books because they are encouraging and like talking with a friend.
Thanks for continuing to share this message!
So many great truths shared here! Thanks for the awesome reminder. I had to share this with my Mom’s group!
Thank you. I needed this today, this re-affirmation that my choice to sacrifice material things in order to stay home with my children was the right decision for us. Thank you.
Love-love for Jesus, love for others, humility, selflessness, peacemaker, gentleness, content….I could keep going all day. There are so many qualities I want to permeate my life and to flow into my children’s lives naturally and through training (etching the highways of life). Amen!
Sally, I am SO glad you will be talking about this. Seems like crisis mode in my house right now. 13 and 11 year old girls trying to find their way. Both are in school and it takes up so much time each day. I’m reaping the fruit of NOT modeling godly characteristics. Will you please speak to how we can “catch up” or “fix” when we have failed?
I look forward to reading your articles, Sally. It’ s so easy (and convenient) to just deal with the externals; forgetting that it is the cultivating and the nurturing of the soul and mind that would eliminate or at least minimize the outward character issues that we see.
Have a blessed weekend!