Bartolome Burrillo
How amazing, Jesus is the Father looking out with love for his prodigal son, to restore, to love, to bless.
Recently I received a letter from a sweet mom who said, “I have been hiding the story of my life because I was afraid I would be rejected by other Christian women.”
Her marriage had been impossible, she had received bad counsel, a divorce had taken place. Her heart was broken.
Another had a sordid past before becoming a believer, and she was sure her friends would reject her if they knew.
Another friend had a prodigal. Another had a beautiful daughter who lived morally and had a good heart but was rejected for her clothing and was ostracized from her peer group and almost despaired in her faith in God. “How could Christians, who are supposed to love, treat me this way, when I have done nothing wrong?”
I have friends in my life who walk with God and yet they have had to bear with the onslaught of culture’s battles raging in the lives of their children that have wrought scars. I have felt the ravage of disappointment from others and criticism, and so have my children.
Others have written articles on the web that they have been cast out from the crowd for voicing.
“Judge not lest ye be judged.”
“It is to a man’s honor to overlook a sin.”
“Take the log out of your own eye.”
We all want God to be patient when it comes to our own lives, but we are quick to point fingers of judgment at others as though their fragility and flaws are somehow worse than ours.
The older I get, the more I give grace and have compassion because I see my own selfish, sinful heart more clearly and so am more grateful for God’s grace than ever before. Seeing your own self in the light of God’s holiness humbles you. God tells us Himself that he gives grace to the humble but is opposed to the proud. Humility opens our eyes more clearly to the magnificent sacrifice of Jesus–while we were yet sinners, he came into the world, he touched lepers, he forgave prostitutes, he had compassion on the crowds because they had no one to shepherd them.
I live in a world of swirling ideals–I uphold ideals, I seek to be holy, I teach my children about the righteousness of God
but these ideals should never give me a reason for judging others.
My ideals, which I have come to by the grace of God, should always lead me to serve, to help others find the path, to show others the grace I have been given, to accept others as I long to be accepted.
Even my own family has been more harmed in their walk with God by “Christians” than by unbelievers. My children have been targets of wagging tongues. But our family circle is a place where holy love abides and where safety and mercy are upheld–where Jesus’ love flows freely.
Still, words can hurt deeply and can have consequences–woe to us if we are vessels of separation in the body of Christ.
He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.
Oh, the wisdom, the love, the grace, the freedom I find in Him. He is safe. Real friends provide safety, where hearts can be shared without fear of condemnation.
It would be easier to be a Christian if it were not for all the Christians who are so very judgmental.
Let us be those who love, who remember, “Love covers a multitude of sin.” “Love is a perfect bond of unity.”
I have often said, those who have not yet been humbled enough are the first to be critical.
Criticism kills. Love heals. May we all become better lovers day by day so that we are not a part of killing the dimly burning wick of faith in precious ones who have secrets and are longing for comfort, for grace, for help, acceptance, forgiveness.
May we all live, today, in the beloved grace and patience and mercy of God which is new every morning.
Have you sinned? Have you failed? Are you failing now? Have you been weak? Do you bear a difficult secret or shame?
God loves you and is waiting for you with His open arms of mercy. Live in the strength of His grace, go in the power of His resurrection love, and then, by your gratefulness, extend the mercy to others that you have so longed for in your life.
“They will know you by your love for one another.”
“Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
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You might also like this from my son, Nathan, at MOB Society today
As always, wonderful words Sally! Thank you for the humbling words!! Many blessings!
Wow…I love it when I get a personnel word from God! Even though I have been extremely dishonored by a daughter and once again my heart is broken by this daughter, I have still got to walk in love! Honestly, there is nothing in me that wants to do this but I know that Christ in me can work through me and show me what to do
Sally, thank you for posting this. This is a sad truth in the church. Though I believe we need to grow in keeping each other accountable in honest relationship about our sin and struggles, to often we judge one another based on methods instead of principles. We draw lines and make judgement in the areas off freedom and difference instead of finding the commonality of gospel truth.
I have a friend who’s husband recently walked out on her and their 4 kids and is with another women. People have kept her at arms length because of it almost blaming her. She feels like she needs to find a new place to go to church so no one knows her past….she feels so judged. It really is sad. It’s almost as if we don’t know how to love those who don’t fit the “standard” or some perfect Christian model. He didn’t come for perfect He came to BE perfect.
This a much needed conversation in the body Christ!
How true this is! What a shock it was for me as a young adult when I received Christ to realize that in the church is where I have often felt the most persecution. My past & my unique world perspective are not always accepted. I have learned to lay it at Christ’s feet and move on. Thank you for speaking truth!
So true Sally! I have found more love, comfort and acceptance from non-Christians at times than I have from Christians. Not always mind you, but nevertheless it is troubling how we all seem to judge each other. I believe it is somehow out of fear (and of course there is pride too). I think that because of past experiences we are all afraid of “falling” and being judged ourselves by others and so to protect ourselves and to feel like we are doing “well” in our Christian walk we look down on others and stay away from “sinners” and people who are struggling in their faith. Of course this is not the way we should be as Christians, but nevertheless we are human and I think this is the way Christians sin the most.
We all do fall short of the glory of God and Christians are great at falling short in the love department. Unfortunately, I am not exempt from this, but I agree with you Sally that as I get older I am less likely to judge others and more apt to be compassionate and loving.
Yes, this seems to be the case, so strongly in America where the pressure to fulfil cultural ideals – both within the church and without – seems to be a particular stronghold, if I may call it that.
Thank you so much! I am so encouraged by these words today!
I recently had to answer the question “what is the bravest thing you’ve ever done”? I was surprised that sharing my testimony with my local church was my answer. I have spoken publicly and shared my story many times but baring myself to my local Christian friends was one of the scariest things I have ever done. Thankfully, it was very well received but I will not forget the terror of sharing secrets and fearing judgment from other believers. My prayer is that I never give a friend pause in that type of situation. May we all extend the grace extended to us to others.
Great words, and a good reminder for us Christians to not bury our wounded. It reminds me of Rom 2:1-4, and how hopeful vs 4 is to me: “Or do you think lightly of the riches of His KINDNESS and TOLERANCE and PATIENCE, not knowing that the KINDNESS of God leads you to repentance?” Oh, praise Him for not giving up on me, and because of Jesus, not giving me what I deserve!
Love you!
“We all want God to be patient when it comes to our own lives, but we are quick to point fingers of judgment at others as though their fragility and flaws are somehow worse than ours.”
Yup – you got this one right, Sally! It comes so much more naturally to criticize than to edify … even in our own homes.
Thanks for the reminder of God’s love for us sinners (I was just reading God’s blessings to Jacob this morning right after he’d deceitfully stolen his brother’s blessing, lying to his dad and so forth!) and our many opportunities to be vessels of grace and mercy to others – because of all God’s done for us.
Hugs to you from Pittsburgh!
This article is one reason why I subscribe to Sally’s blog! I want to love others in a way that surpasses human strength, overlooking flaws and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in their lives, not replacing the Holy Spirit with my own judgments.
I want to address something that seems to be portrayed these days as a negative thing. Jesus said to take the log out of our eye, before removing the speck from our friend. He didn’t say to ignore the speck. I have seen too many times tbe church ignore sin and not address it in a biblical way. Gossip, complaining, and divorce are a few sins that are running rampant and we seem to be afraid to help the sinning person without appearing judgmental. And I think the person who is in sin is either afraid to confide in someone about it because they might be rejected or ostracized or are enjoying their sin and don’t want to be rebuked for it. In Sally’s blog, those girls who snubbed their nose at a girl for not wearing the “right” clothes should have been confronted. Ignoring the problem can been seen as acceptance.
I have also seen what happens when people lovingly rebuke their friends. It is better to have a friend step in to say,”I love you enough to help you see your sin and help you turn from it.” There’s such a love that is shared during these times of reconcilliation. It may be difficult for the person to step out and initiate the conversation, but our love for them as a child of God needs to be the motivation behind every word and deed. It’s a beautiful thing to see sinners helping and loving other sinners.
Thank you so much for this, and for sharing your son’s link. Only in the past year or two (I’ve been a Christian for 20) have I really understood, at such depth and to what extent, God has extended His grace to me. I haven’t been showing grace to others so much. One of the contributors to this change is some very difficult circumstances in a family relationship, bringing me to a desperate helplessness. I also read Nathan’s post and noticed how differently I responded as a parent, when a similar thing happened here. *sigh* So I thank God SO MUCH for His grace on me. May I be more gracious.
I think people are judgmental some of the time because of fear.They live their lives in “safe ” boxes
where they don’t have to think (much of the time ) Christians who are different upset their apple cart.
It is hard to live like Christ; loving, speaking and acting in a way that brings healing and life .
Thanks Sally for sharing your heart.