When Life is Too Overwhelming to Ask for Help


Thankfully there are only a few times in life when things become so overwhelming, it seems impossible to ask for help. I know I need support but crises are coming like rapid fiery darts. As my being shifts from one difficulty to another, the thought rests in the back of my head to reach out for help. Yet, dodging the darts seems to occupy every second.

I think about sending out a prayer request email but quickly decide that the circumstances of my life presently sound like a bad soap opera. Realizing it would take forever to draft the email, I resolve to “lift my eyes unto the hills….where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth”.  I mouth the prayer believing it in my head while counting on it to make it’s way down to my heart.

My conversation with my Heavenly Father goes something like this, “Lord, I believe you are sovereign. You are aware of my problems. You have even orchestrated them. …(Well, I probably wasn’t ready to admit that at first, even though I knew it to be true)…. Father, I need some help but can’t get it together enough to even ask. Lord, I think I need about five Aarons and Hurs to lift me up. Father, I don’t even know who they are right now. But I believe I need about five. Would you send them?”  Then I just proceeded to dodge the next dart. He is still patiently waiting on me to embrace the fiery darts and welcome the trial as James admonishes us to do as believers.

Remember when Moses was fighting the battle of the Amalekites (Exodus 17) and as long as Moses held up his arms, the Israelites were winning. But as soon as he dropped his arms, they began losing the battle? So Aaron and Hur each held up an arm of Moses in order for the Israelites to win. I knew I needed some women friends holding my arms up.

I could go into details about the nature of our family’s problems to try and help others know things can get really bad even when you follow Christ. But then the problem gets glorified.

Or I can expound on what God continues to do in spite of my problems. And He gets glorified rather than our problems.

My situation bottomed out on Friday. But on Saturday, at my son’s football game, an old friend approached the bleachers. She did not even have any children playing. She simply came to support a mutual friend’s child.I jumped up to say hi and give her a hug not realizing I would fall apart in her arms. She listened and encouraged me but did not stop there. The following week she showed up at the store with flowers and a card letting me know she had been praying for me. My friend Kelly, who I only see sporadically at surprise times, became an Aaron for me.

Later in the week my first night of community outreach was to begin. Because of circumstances, I was feeling quite disqualified. Yet, God placed me here as leader. I took a deep breath and glanced over the parking lot as women and children arrived. A new attendee named Kay popped out of her car. I was so excited to have her even though it was a surprise.

I could not help but laugh out loud when I actually realized she was my next answer to prayer for an Aaron or Hur. As my story unfolded for Kay, she realized it was divine intervention for her to be there. Kay is the mightiest prayer warrior I know. Because it was our first night of outreach we were able to spend the full time in prayer.

One after another, the Father brought me my five…each a tangible expression of God’s loving kindness and care for his children. They were not the usual ones I reach out to on a regular basis. I was paralyzed. But they were the ones God desired to use.

Once the five prayed me through the first week, I was able to reach out online to long distance prayer support from women who have practiced being intentional to cultivate a relationship even if long distance. We share a common love for God and a common desire to see Him high and lifted up in our homes.

Sisters, NO MATTER your walk in life, your problems or pain, we need a support system, a community of believers to walk through life with.

I believe suffering is inevitable. God uses it to conform us to the image of His son as we depend on Him. And He is so very faithful to be present in the darkest times of our lives. Do you sense Him near you, caring for you, sustaining you during your times of difficulties? Would you ask God to send you an Aaron and Hur? And, like me, even if you don’t know who they are, God does. Ask Him, look and wait for Him to send them.

The battle you are in is not yours friend. It is the Lords, the maker of Heaven and earth. May our Maker be glorified in and through each of our trials.

Arms Held Up,

***The 24 hours of the .99 on Amazon is now over, but as an almost full length book, I think you will enjoy it and be blessed at the normal price of $4.99! We were so happy that we were able to do a 24 hour deal for so many of you. Thanks for making the launch such a wonderful blessing to us, who work on the blog and books just for you! You were amazing!



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  1. says

    Thank you for sharing. I have found myself in those “fiery dart” situations, and I pray to God to be my help, but I never thought about asking him to send an Aaron and Hur.

  2. says

    Hmm..yes. Praying for Aarons and Hurs. This is good – whether it’s a dark season or simply a busy one. I’ll be praying this.

    Thanks for the encouragement.

    I hope your current season and circumstances lighten up a bit – and that the Lord reveals Himself to you through it all.

    Kind Blessings,
    Kate :)

    • says

      He has been so very faithful to show Himself to me. And my circumstances have lightened up since this was written. I know those valleys of suffering are preparation for greater things. But how hard they are to walk through!

  3. Jessica says

    Hi Pam, thank you for sharing this. I feel like you were writing exactly what I am currently going through. Would you please say a prayer for me? I cried as I read your post as this is a difficult time for me and just like you wrote, “Then I just proceeded to dodge the next dart.” I am so thankful for the encouraging words and specifically that the battle is not mine but the Lords. That helps me to shift my focus. I have already asked God for one of the “Aarons” and I will be meeting with my dear mentor this Thursday. I am still working on meeting people where I am located. Thank you again for posting this. It is a huge blessing. Love and blessings in Christ, Jessica.

    • says

      Father, send your daughter mighty warriors of faith to lift her arms as the battle of life continues. May grace and favor settle in as she makes new friends and brings your light into her community. In Jesus Name, Amen.

  4. Judy says

    To have ‘arms held up’ by godly friends is a wonderful gift of God’s grace when it happens – helping us to remain faithful to Him, and sometimes just keeping us from curling up on the floor too!

  5. Julie says

    Oh wow. I love the way God uses blogs, or other such things to speak to the core of my heart. I to have been dodging darts. Your article and thoughts have encouraged me to continue cultivating community. I am still unsure about telling anyone when the chips are down but I love what you said about God placing people around you.
    Thankyou for sharing honestly about your struggle and your victories and reminding me to trust in the Lord

    • Brook says

      Pam – this could not have come at a better time in my life as I have been struggling w/various situations since Feb. 2013 and now this makes my fourth situation – each time I cry to God and he helps me…once again I need him and everyone’s prayers. I will see light through this darkness…with my immediate family. I don’t live near any of my family, so I can’t just go to their house and cry –

      Thank you for you prayers – everyone.

    • says

      May the Father give you safe women to be real with. With vulnerability comes courage. I am asking the Lord now to surround you with authentic community. I have found as I share my messy life and the faithfulness of God as He carries me through the messes, others are encouraged and inspired to press through their own battles…and hopefully draw closer to God in the process.

      • Brook says

        Thank you. I hope I can find someone who I can truly trust…I know with prayer He will bring me someone – He brings us to it..so He will bring us through it.

        Thank you again.
        God be with all of us

  6. Kimberly says

    So grateful for you, Pam. Your post is honestly and humbly written. Thanks, once again, for pointing me and many others to the One who knows us and our every need even before we can articulate it ourselves. Thanking Him for His faithful provision through His Word and a body of believers near and far.

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