When You Feel Inadequate As a Mom

Many of you who have attended a Mom Heart Conference or attended a Mom’s Intensive in Monument, have fallen in love with my sweet friend, Deb Weakly. She does life with me and ministry and I don’t know what I would do without her. But the most important part about her story is that she is an overcomer and lives excellently and inspires everyone she meets. So I asked her to share a little of her story here today. 

With love from Deb!

I have only heard the audible voice of God two times in my life. 

The first was 24 years ago, the night that I met my husband. Don’t get excited-it’s not what you think.

I did not hear a voice from heaven say “Here is your husband. ” Actually, the voice said: “Don’t smoke in front of him.” You see, I was not a Christian at the time, so I smoked, drank, etc.. Apparently, heeding the voice worked. He liked me! He took me to church, and I gave my life to God a few months later.

The second time I heard the voice of God apart from scripture was actually this morning.

I have been struggling with thinking that I have been inadequate in the area of schooling my second child, Jack. My daughter, Christie, was very driven all through her home school years. Jack is laid-back and what I like to call a “plodder.” He’s one who takes all day to get things done, but does them and is just really relaxed with everything in his life. He is super sweet and loves God. Even as a sixteen year old boy, he is super kind and gracious. Yet all I could think about over the past couple of days was the fact that I am not doing a good job- that I was failing him somehow.

Even before I was a Mom, I was afraid that I would mess up any kids. That was a big reason why I chose only to have two children- lack of faith in myself that I could actually raise up children who would love God–especially given my past!   I had struggled before I came to Christ and had made many mistakes and  I worried about my shortcomings. My lack of formal education added to my inadequacy. Last, but not least, I had no idea or model of how to have a christian home. My past still haunts me from time to time, even though I know in my heart that I am forgiven and redeemed and that I have a new heritage and lineage because I walk with God. But that old flesh and the devil still messes with me and tells me that I am not good enough.

Yet, God is so great! He sees us and knows what we need. Today, I needed to hear His voice telling me truth about my situation.

I had just finished exercising and was stretching and listening to worship music when I started thinking about the fact that I really should have taught Jack how to use a planner a long time ago. Instantly I was under attack, with thoughts rushing in about what a failure I am for not being consistent with him in this and several other educational-type areas. I started thinking that maybe I should have sent him to school. Surely he would have been taught how to use a planner there. It was my decision to homeschool, which I truly believe God had directed me to, that was mostly under attack.

It was then that I heard God speak to me so audibly that I could not believe it. He said, “You have to answer to Me for Jack! I have specific plans for his life. He is a leader and I have called you to homeschool him. I will teach him what he needs to know. Jack belongs to me!”

Then He reminded me of a beautiful verse, (which is usually how I hear from God). It was Isaiah 54:13.

All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.”

He said ALL. He is teaching both of my kids for me! No matter my past, my inadequacies, my failures- He is teaching my children and great will be their peace because of that! Wow!! Thank you Lord!

If you are  reading this and you are struggling with the same feelings that I was., I want to tell you that you can trust your God! He will help you every step of the way with your children.Whether it’s homeschool or public school, whether you’re struggling with feeling inadequate in the way you disciple or educate them, whether you’re dealing with bad attitudes or learning disabilities … Whatever it is, He will help you. You are not alone, and neither are they! God will help you to do whatever it is that He has called you to do. Have a wonderful day and know that God is teaching your children, and He will be their peace.

 Deb has a passion for discipleship and prayer that reaches around the world. She has led discipleship groups for the last 16 years- focusing on the art of the prayer-filled life as wife, mom and woman of God. Deb is a frequent speaker at women’s groups and has hosted International Leaders in her home with Momheart Ministries. Her favorite ways to spend her time include time with God in the morning on her favorite brown couch, with the fire burning, candles lit, hot tea and Bible in hand, while snuggling with her dog, Haylee; coffee time on Saturday mornings on that same couch with her husband of 20 years, Randy, and visiting with her kids, Christie(19), and Jack (16), while they sip assorted hot beverages. Deb hopes that her couch does not wear out soon.

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  1. Patricia says

    thank you … all I can say is God is so good to speak to us through one another when we have need. How beautiful is the Body of Christ!

  2. says

    Excellent verse!

    And Deb, make sure you read that verse again. It’s about You too!

    All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.”

    We are all God’s children and He will teach you just like He teaches them!
    Loved the post


  3. amy says

    So precisely what I needed to hear this morning….that I could weep…..Why is it we forget Who is ultimately in control. Such a relief to be reminded. Thank you from the bottom of this mama’s heart.

  4. Herbwifemama says

    Truly a word from the Lord! I am clinging to this verse- which I have heard before, but never this way. Thank you! :)

  5. Drey says

    Uncanny how much of my life I saw in this story. My 16 yr old son is the same happy way while my daughter is a high achiever.

  6. Kim Urband says

    Oh, how appropriately timed your message is today as I have been in a pit of discouragement and feelings of inadequacy. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience. God has used you speak hope to our mothers’ hearts. And, by the way, I miss seeing you at the Briargate Y:)

  7. Cherie Werner says

    You are a wonderful writer. This was so encouraging.

    Remind me to tell you my story in regards to smoking and dating Jon ;-)

    Love ya,

  8. Michelle Clinton says

    Dear Deb,

    Thank you for sharing this with us. It has given me a lot to think about, in terms of my sons belonging to God and not me. I think a lot of my anger stems toward them not pleasing me, when God is probably not offended! Ahhh…”The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom….”

    You are precious.


  9. says

    Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I have been so weighed down and discouraged. While reading this I realized the enemy has been whispering lies in my ear and I have listened to them unknowingly. Thank you for this encouragement! I know what to do now :)

  10. Brandi says

    Just discovered your article via Pinterest at the end of a long parenting day. It is amazing how God speaks when you need it most. Thank you for your writing and the words of encouragement.

  11. Charise says

    This is exactly what my heart and mind needed tonight. Thank you Sally for sharing Deb’s words and THANK YOU DEB for your willingness. Love you and bless you both, Charise

  12. Ruby says

    Please let Deb know…this was not only inspirational…but so forme! This is how GOD spoke to me this evening…by opening up my email and reading this message. I have the same background..and my past haunts me from time to time…and inadewuacy has been a plague on my heart for some time now..especially since my oldest will be hitting high school next year and I am not sure what God wants me to do with her…but I have concluded that I cannot homeschool her any longer because it is too much…and I am inadequate. GOD is continually telling me to not worry about SAT scores…not to worry about colleges…be anxious for none of this because HE could come tomorrow and I would have wasted today with worry. HE has been emphasizing through teh word and studies…HE is in charge of my children and HE ahs a plan for them…not me. HE knows their path…not me. BUT HE has great plans for them….Just today I was talking to a friend about my inadequacies, but how God has it covered and HE is in control…..BUT I am discovering it is so hard to believe despite how easily the words flow from my mouth. HE keeps telling me to press on despite the difficulties because HE makes us adequate…HE makes us complete and perfect for the task….Praise the Lord for your words…Thank You for being used by HIM….

  13. Marilyn says

    Thank you Deb! Very encouraging. As a homeschool for the past 9 years, I too feel inadequate at times. I appreciate you sharing and posting. Have a blessed day! May God give all the homeschool moms this same peace.


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