I Take Joy

Sarah, my daughter, in a lovely, favorite book shop in Oxford. It is so “her! “

Before Sarah, my first born, was born, I devoured every book and article I could about all of the wonderful ways parents could invest in their children’s minds and lives. Every article I read said that if a parent read aloud to children, and gave them a habit of listening to great stories and then asked questions to allow the children to synthesize what they had heard, that it would literally feed the brain and develop strong intellect.

And so, from the moment Sarah came to our home, I was talking to her, singing to her and then holding her in my lap reading, reading, reading to her even as a small baby. Sarah began to associate love with reading and being held. Fast forward, our home was filled with lots of things to do–papers and coloring books, legos, dress up clothes, puzzles, musical instruments, and of course piles and piles of books and baskets of books and shelves of books. Our family culture was to value words and ideas and to talk about them all. We allowed our children to be children and did not force work books or curriculum on them at an early age. We simply read and let them play and pretend and build and talk and do chores and write and draw.

Last year, as Sarah was considering how she would invest her life long term, she took a pre-entrance exam for Harvard, in case she would ever get to attend there. Her thinking was, “Until God leads me to marriage, what legacy do I want to leave that might bring light to the world of education and philosophy that is a talent and skill of mine?” Of course she thought of literature and creative writing and stories. So, she took the test and made a perfect score–amazed me, but shouldn’t have, because her appetites for life were begun on hundreds and hundreds of books read out-loud in our home.

Now, a dream come true, she is getting to spend a semester in Oxford to hone her skills as a writer and to invest further in her personal education.

It all started from gathering her on my lap, and reading exciting stories and enjoying them together. Our home life was simple and fun and natural. below is another great encouragement from a beloved best selling children’s author.

And it just happens that in the evening, as a therapy to get away from the stress of organizing conferences, producing musical albums, writing books, we light the fire, gather on the couches and take turns reading. We do not always find the time to do it, but right now, Joel, Joy, Clay and I have gone back to the beloved Chronicles of Narnia. Each of us is taking turns using our most dramatic voices and it is such a soothing way to end an evening to visit with familiar and encouraging characters who are a part of our soul.

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This morning, I have been receiving lots of mail about how to find great books–read Sarah’s book, Read for the Heart, which is our family’s history of reading aloud, as well as Educating the Whole Hearted Child has lots of books of our favorites listed in the back.

And below is another voice, a beloved author of children’s stories. Let His voice encourage you–to read.

There is a reason that I am a serious and committed walker–it is to get away, be where there is quiet, leave the crowds, have time to reflect.

When I was a young mom, I was somewhat of a pioneer in most of my ideals. When the culture was moving towards feminism, God was whispering to me of the Biblical design of motherhood, and discipling my children, and cultivating a Biblical legacy. But, it required that my eyes were on Him, pursuing, pondering scripture, seeking the secrets of the life and influence of Christ–and trying to discover just what the power and influence of a family and home was created by God to be.

I love turning away from cultue and listening to His voice. He brings life, freedom, joy, grace.

But what I see in the lives of so many today is legalism, boxes, rules, pressure, living up to the Joneses, and not very much original thought. There are so many more experts, opinions and voices crowding the horizon today than when I was capturing my ideals. It must be confusing. But trying to follow all of these voices choke out freedom to be who you are, to live as the family that God has created you to be. These things will kill a soul.

What is needed most, is quiet, perspective, time to think and find ones center for your very own puzzle.

I was so convicted by a blog post yesterday by my daughter, Joy, that you will love–in light of thoughts of getting away to Him.

You can find it here: http://joynessthebrave.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/its-a-loud-loud-world/

May you find some getaway moments today, to be in silence, so you may hear His voice.

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PS I have been so very encouraged by all of your comments yesterday and am so excited to write on some of these subjects–after the conferences, after I finish my book with Sarah Mae and after I attend two more speech tourneys! But, I will get to this! Looking forward to seeing many of you in California and Texas–where I will speak to some of these very issues!

Mary Cassatt

A woman who thinks and reads,  will serve others well and invest wisdom to those in her sphere of influence.

I have been intrigued, lately, by the thought of writing a book about great women–those who leave a legacy of spirituality, influence, wisdom and grace in the wake of their lives. I have known a number of what I would consider “great women” and I have been working on the the areas of strength and commitment that they all seem to share in common. I am wondering if that kind of a book would appeal to women like you, my friends. It seems to me today that our churches are neglecting some of the training and vision that can build women into godly, strong leaders in their generation.

Of course one of the attributes that has arisen from studying and interviewing these women, is that all of them are great readers. They have invested many hours in engaging their minds in scripture, with great thinkers, biographies and when I talk to them, I know I will be stimulated to greater thoughts and ideas because what is in their soul is worthy for me to come into contact with. A woman cannot give out greatness of mind if she has not invested her mind in great thoughts.

Now I am not talking about formal education. As a matter of fact, I learned so little of what I know from college, or public school. Most of what I know has been in my own personal pursuit, my own hunger to know as well as my desire to pass on great thoughts and ideas to my children. Being accountable to them, being a steward of their minds and thoughts has created an environment of learning for me. Any child who has a mother who loves to learn, will be blessed.

All women who are made in God’s image, and who want to pursue excellence of mind, must intentionally cultivate their ability to think, to understand theology (the knowledge of God), and to follow paths of wisdom. Great women think well and pursue the virtue of a mind that can suitably worship God by its great thoughts.

Many women have asked me if my ministry and conferences are just for homeschoolers because I homeschooled my children. My answer is that I hope any woman who comes into contact with my teaching or writing will be encouraged because my goal is to be Biblical, true, add intelligence and wisdom and vision to all mothers and all women who attend our conferences. My goal is to enlighten women biblically and so many of every background, every educational choice attend and  come to our conferences and read my books, and in that I have had great fellowship with all who attend. All women and young women are welcome to come to our conferences and I hope my books are inspirational to anyone who has a heart for Biblical motherhood.

But I am getting off the subject. I have pondered what you really want me to write about. Please help me to know what is on your own heart.

These are some subjects I have contemplated writing about:

Leaving a Legacy

Traditions that give life

Cultivating a Great Soul

The aspects of a life-giving home

Discipleship

How to have a quiet time

Cultivating a habit of Sabbath rest in the midst of a busy life

Great books to read–for children, women, young adults, boys and girls

The needs of babies, children, teens, young adults

Getting rid of guilt and inadequacy

Dealing with loneliness and depression

Loving well

Would you please let me know which subjects appeal to you? I am also working on a new network that some of you know about where I will ask other writers to join me in feeding the souls of women in my arena.

Sometimes, I speak so often in different places and teach a couple of Bible studies at home and write articles and so I can have the feeling, “Haven’t I already said this? Or written about this?” I have already said that or spoken this and so I forget what the needs of women are.

And so, can you please help me? What do you really want me to write about? What do you struggle with the most? What areas do you want help in for your daily life?

Some friends and I want to put together a wonderful network of ideas and inspiration that point women to Biblical ideals, grace, intentional mothering and so we want to know from you–what do you want to know, read and think?

Thanks for this–I don’t want to be so immersed in so many areas that I am not meeting the real felt needs. I was so very alone in my own journey as a mom that I do not want others to feel so alone. And so, I look forward to your ideas, input and questions.

Be blessed today in His presence and companionship in your moment by moment life.

Joy and Sallymama–my children’s name for me–I love it when she leans on me

God has blessed me with a very full life. Because of starting out in missions, by God’s plan and design, we have been an internationally traveling family all of our children’s lives. We have seen sights and been places. (Europe, Russia, England, the Middle East, the Far East, Australia and New Zealand) and are so blessed by the many friends we have made. We love trekking on mountains in Austria, and training through big cities and drinking coffee at international cafes.

I have had the wonderful privilege of being in ministry and speaking at conferences and in famous places. It has been a privilege to write books and blogs and articles and speak in places I could never have imagined. I told Him I would be a steward. But I don’t always understand the phenomena. In crowds my shy comes out. I am just a mama, who loves home.

Yes, I have lived a varied and wonderful life and for it I am indeed grateful.

But I am the happiest when I have my sweet family all sequestered in a room together sharing life in the privacy of  our own home. Just us at home. This is what I love the best, what comforts me, gives me rest .

Every morning, Joy goes in to put the tea kettle on, I am usually up, be-gowned,  having a quiet time. She comes and sits in my big chair close to me and sometimes leaning on my shoulder and we talk about life, our thoughts, dreams, what the day holds, who hurt our feelings, what we feel, and then my soul is so very content. I have this sweet friend who is intertwined in a deep part of my soul–we belong together. I am deeply happy.

Joel, who has generously moved home to help us this year for the conferences to take some strain off of Clay’s back. He washes dishes and goes grocery shopping and shares in our lives. We talk and encourage each other all day long. He drives me places just so we can be together. Meeting for lunch and coffee, even though we see each other every day, we talk faith, possibilities, and all things future–marriage, teaching, redeeming culture. We do not deserve this grace that Joel has given.

In evenings, He mans up his dramatic voice as Clay, Joy and I snuggle on couches and listen as he reads us the familiar stories of the Chronicles of Narnia, and makes us giggle, on cold nights with fire burning and hot chocolate in mugs. This makes my soul smile.

Nathan shares his latest blog, his days, his auditions, his hope and dreams. We talk almost every day for long and for heart.

Sarah emails, skypes, shares the humor of Oxford, the newly discovered hikes and tea shops and I kiss the screen when our talks are ended.

These are my pleasures–what keeps me going.

Yes, God indeed had a good idea–give us a place to belong, a place to be loved, flaws, quirks and all.

Family, his idea for giving us comfort, love and soul friendship.

It is with these, my very own children and husband-this place of belonging, where I can be my real self,  and closeness is the happiest I ever am.

Wordsworth Home, Lake District England, 2009

Today, with Joy squished in next to me, I found some really wonderful and fun pictures that we had taken on a trek to England. it just happens that I was in the midst of seeking to search out the subject of joy in scripture and to make it a place I wanted to live in–God’s joy. I do not always succeed, but seeing this picture, I remember that Joy had said, “Mom, hold up your hands and do a I take joy pose.” I didn’t exactly know what that was but this was my reaction and it made for a good memory. And so in light of finding this old picture, I commend you to his joy today and a remembrance of what I had written in a short journal article, became a letter to some friends overseas. As I enter the vortex of conferences today, it is a great reminder of my commitment to seek His joy as that is what I want to spread this weekend in Colorado.

Please pray for us as we have women coming from 15 states, all ages, many backgrounds and all here to hear from the Lord. Me too. So I will be away from here, but my wish for all of you is that these next few days, His joy might creep into the crevices of your life and bring you rest. And here is the old article of my heart.

I take joy

I look for it, I create it, I craft it, I affirm it, I build my grid of life to see it through the lens of spiritually enlightened eyes.

This is, This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Years ago, I began to reflect on what I was becoming and saw and heard from many women, precious women, all over the world, whose lives had been shattered, whose hearts had been hurt, whose pathway had been quite wearisome and hard.

And yet, there were a few, a very few of these women, who seemed to have a secret delight, a power, a light that came through their eyes and heart and demeanor–the way they valued others, the way they pictured themselves as a giver,

even in the midst of their own darkness. They had joy even through all the years. I wanted what they had–that there would be this “life” surging through my life, because these special women were different from all the rest–the life and joy they created was palpable.

Shouldn’t one who knows Jesus, the God who spoke  the world into being and created pink sunrises,

baby’s sweet chubby hands, rainbows amidst storm clouds, music that invites me to swing and sway, and chocolate–have the ability to give me joy, and a life beyond my circumstances.

And so I determined that joy would be a goal of mine, something I would seek, celebrate, live, choose every day, and so I started Itakejoy as a reflection of my commitment and I wrote Dancing with my Father, with the desire that I would hear the music of Him who was singing all the time and dance to the rhythm of His melody in and through my life.

This is the day the Lord has made, and so, I choose to rejoice, to look for His fingerprints, to light a candle in the darkness as much as possible the rest of my life.

Happy Weekend to all.

William Holden Hunt

“In this world, you have tribulation, but take courage.” Jesus

Seems at times, I write the same things over and over again. It is because I am learning the same things over and over again.

If there is one thing I do not like, (I am a strong feeler on Myers-Briggs.), it is conflict. I want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to have harmony and to get along. I long for harmony in my life.

But if there is one thing I have learned, this world where we live is a battle. The ground is cursed and produces thorns and thistles when we work, and really it means, everything tends towards disorder, (second law of thermo-dynamics).

Relationships are a challenge as all the people I have ever met are sinners and fragile and make mistakes.

Children are born self-centered and self-absorbed, and so training them to become unselfish, and to have a servant heart, will cost us years of our lives–we have to go against their very nature, to help them to become mature.

And then there is my sinful self–we won’t talk about how many regrets I have for all the ways I have been petty or selfish over the years.

Seems there is conflict everywhere–in my family, with my children’s friends, in church, with my friends and co-workers, you name it–it is just lurking somewhere around the corner.

And if there is anything that makes me want to quit ministry, it is conflict or misunderstanding. And yet, if I were to be honest, it is the times of conflict, difficulty, stress, in which He has worked most in my soul. It is in falling or being accused that I knew more about the need to give people the grace I would have wanted. It is in being unjustly accused, that I became more humble and needy of Him. It is in struggling through the conflict that has evolved over years in our family circle, that I learned to have compassion on other women who have struggled with their own backgrounds. It is in bearing with my children and serving them, that God has taught me how deeply He loves me that He would bear with me and love me and serve me, in spite of myself, because I am His child.

And so, I am learning and have learned, that it is at these very points of stress, where our character is revealed and formed.

Jesus has become my contemplation more and more as I become older.

“While being reviled, he did not revile in return, but kept trusting Himself to God, who judges righteously.” I Peter 2:23

The older I become, the more I fall in love with Jesus. He could have screamed and yelled and become frustrated and accused, so many, many times. He has every right to be frustrated with me–I say I want to follow Him and then I do something petty.

And yet, He offers love, over and over again–”Father, I desire that they know the love I have known from the very beginning.”

He is gentle, He is patient, He loves abundantly and generously, even though none of us deserves it.

And so, running away is not an option. It is challenge and difficulty where unconditional love is most miraculous. Bringing love and gentleness and courage into darkness heals, relieves, brings light.

And so, running away is not an option. If I want Him to make my soul into the likeness of Jesus, I must strive, work, seek to attain His gentle ways, His sacrificial love, His peace-making heart. It is the carving of His reflection on my soul. And so, more and more, I humbly seek Him, pray to Him, ask Him to help me be filled with His spirit, so that I may not offend Him, but may, out of great gratitude become, every year, more and more of a great lover.

So, today, if you really love Him, you may not run away, I may not run away–nobility of His Holy Spirit will spur us on to love, peacemaking, and graciousness, because this is what He will live out through those who love Him the most-unrelenting, firm, excellent love.

Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down His life for a friend.

I am at an age where I have the privilege of evaluating and pondering and being philosophical about life. Many women I know started off well in pursuing their ideals as a woman, a Christian, a mother. Yet, along the way, culture gives us permission to compromise, at first, just a little and then more and more, until one doesn’t even know how far they have come from their ideals.  I also find women who say, “I can’t do this,” whatever the this is–they look at themselves and their limitations and just decide it is so.

And then, of course, all of us become weary of giving and giving and giving, and this, too. leads to us becoming slack, slow, excusing ourselves.

Now I don’t want you to think I do not understand all of these thoughts and feelings, I have had them many times, but I have learned that I have a bigger capacity to endure. to work hard, to cultivate faithfulness–than I ever knew. God has shown me over the years that He will help me mount up over the difficulties that I supposed were too much for me. I had just never been trained to have character and to be strong.

That is why in Hebrews we are told, “Run the race with endurance that is set before you.”  Hebrews 12: 1o-2. This does not mean gutting it out and barely making it, it means running purposefully, with a good heart, with His strength. You can do more than you think.

Join me today for more thoughts about going the extra mile, pursuing excellence at http://www.thebettermom.com/ and today, take a deep breath, put away the distractions and run this race of faith with renewed energy. May you be blessed.

The treasure chest of the soul…..

What sculpture is to a block of marble,
education is to the soul….Joseph Addison.

By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;

And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 24: 3-4

As Joel, Joy and I drove home last night from visiting a hurting friend, we began to speak of the need of soul filling of our culture. I shared with them, “I hope that at each juncture of life, with each person you meet, you will have in the grid of your mindset that you need to leave some bit of love, words of life, knowledge, wisdom, a corpus of thoughtful and illuminating ideas–that you will seek to fill the lives of those with whom you spend time, with something of the eternal good.”

“You have to have a soul filled with light, beauty and intellect in order to have something to give,” Joel pondered.

Somehow, the subject turned to music. “Remember all of the music we listened to as kids, Mom?”

Do I remember? I carefully sought it out and created places for us to listen, enjoy, discuss, dance to, etc.

“I loved Classical Kids–you know I still play them when I clean my room, Mom. My favorite was Beethoven Lives Upstairs”, offered Joy.

“Oh, I loved the Magic Flute by Mozart , and the aria that the woman sang. Joy, did you know it is one of the most challenging arias to perform in all of music?”

As which point, all of us started to belt it out together, seeing who could hit all of the high notes and all of the ones in between, amidst laughing chattering–no it was like this……..Then the conversation turned to the Messiah, the Nutcracker, Les Miserable, Narnia, and we pulled into our driveway.

Joel immediately came in the house and put on the Messiah and while we were popping corn, making finger sandwiches and piling up a plate of fruit, we sang to the choruses while we were making a Sunday night snack. All of this bubbling out from what they had stored up and cherished.

And so my soul was filled to observe what was coming out of the souls of my children. The satisfaction of seeing that investment of what is eternal will indeed reap rewards.

As I have said many times before, I pictured my children’s souls as a treasure chest and sought to fill their souls with substance of excellence, beauty, life-changing thoughts and ideas, the best books, the most beautiful stores and literature, fine music and concerts, science and creation, loving, sacrifice, serving,  great people and ministry opportunities.

One of the great accomplishments and most fulfilling purposes and work of a godly woman is to become a condutor of all the is good, true and beautiful in the minds, souls and lives of her children. And so, it is satisfying to see that it has all been stored up there, in the deep recesses of my children’s souls–that what we sow, they will reap.

It is not about curriculum, it is about life and investment and mentoring and joy. We dance to His truth and leading in front of our children and they become familiar with the ways and values of he Master Artist as we celebrate Him in our homes, and they in turn dance the steps in their own lives.

Joy and a sweet friend, Karlyn

Up at 5:15, pack, threw quick breakfast together and jumped in the car.

(Clay had started it and turned on the heater since it was FREEZING when we left. Yeah for an organized man!)

Off to drive an hour drive which turned into 1:45 minutes, in bumper to bumper traffic in Denver.

On our way to a speech and debate tournament for Colorado.

The first man we met walked up to Joy and said, “So why do you like Apologetics?”

Joy, who is doing it for the first time today, (but he didn’t know it), gave an articulate answer. She looked beautiful in her professional suit–and then the man said, looking at me, “So, I guess she (Joy) must be your claim to fame.”

I smiled and said of course she is.

Then someone walked up to me and said, “I think I know you. Is that your baby?” looking at Joy.

And then it hit me,

Last child, prayed for after three miscarriages, last one at home, always filling everything around her with humor, wit, sparkle, serious pontification, and fun.

“Yes, she is my baby”, I got out , with a lump in my throat.

My children are now my best friends. I don’t think I will ever be ready for my baby to leave me.

But, she, and my other children, are indeed my claim to fame—my treasure and joys. Today, I will cheer and coach and listen one more time to Apologetics, Cheaper by the Dozen Oral Interp, A Literary persuasive,

and I will be present every minute, attuned to her every move, smile, giggle and sound,

as I seek to hold on to my last few months, my last few moments with this baby girl, now all grown up.