The Biltmore, Asheville, North Carolina
The wise woman builds her house, the foolish woman with her own hands, tears it down. I have often said, in my conferences, that when the building of a whole family, a history, a legacy of believers who will have an impact for godliness in the world captures the imagination of a woman, she will have a work to pursue, a vision to inspire her soul, that will last for a lifetime.
A wise woman knows that to build a house for God that will last generations, she must have a detailed plan. A woman can merely build a poorly constructed condominium or shack, or she can build a large, beautiful, functional estate, so to speak. The grand estate of influence, will obviously take much more work and planning, many more years to accomplish, but will accomodate literally thousands of people for generations. It just depends on the scope of her vision.
This house building will require hours and hours of blood sweat and tears. To be built well, it requires a detailed and artistic plan, and the plan will need to be reworked and adjusted and corrected along the way. Simply put, the building of grand estate of righteousness will require her whole life and diligence and sacrifice for all of her days. And yet, so many just want it to be simple or over because they never knew or understood the scope and requirements.
Consequently, the foolish woman tears down her own home, not intentionally, most women do not mean to leave a legacy of broken children with scars of anger, lack of training and purpose. But they never knew how to build and were not willing to do what it took to build, because they were side swiped by the storm of it all.
But, let us understand, the foolish women tears down her opportunity to build, and will be held accountable by God, for what she built as he entrusted precious, eternal human beings into her hands, to shape for His kingdom and to learn His love and ways.
The problem with motherhood and the need for women to build godly estates of godly leaders in their homes, through multiple children that a woman will invest her life into, is that most women had no training, preparation or education of what it would take or how much it would cost them. Most just got married with the hope that someone would love them and take care of them and provide security and affirmation, and then babies came, and overwhelmed them. They had never been trained for the job, never seen it modeled when they grew up, never had a vision for how powerful a house (family) for God could be or how much work it would take.
So, life came along and so did the babies, and overwhelmed and sweet women who have never had the opportunity to build a vision with a plan, find themselves up to their eyeballs in details and duties and the caring of babies without the support or input, accountability or help from experienced women who have built godly legacies. The greatest job in the world, that will indeed influence what our nation becomes, as the children of now become the legacy of adults for the next generation–and yet, no time or effort has been invested to educate or prepare these precious and significant leaders, moms, how to do it. And our churches ignore this important, Biblical call, and it just fades into nothingness in the priority the focus of woman’s ministries in our generation. Satan would love nothing more than for us to minimize the importance of deeply investing our time and lives into the minds, hearts, souls and training of our children, because he knows they are essential to bringing the kingdom of God to bear in their generation.
For most moms, it is like facing a tornado and storms of life or a battlefield for souls, with no skills, preparation or resources or protection or help–the tornado of the present demands and the battles just takes over.
I have also observed that sweet ones want an immediate fix for this moment right now, the present emergencies of life, instead of understanding that this is a very long term project and much care must be given to the broad range of building. Planning must not be based on the emergency and immediate need, but on the long term building and work and endurance until the project is completed.
Planning is the key to what will be built and planning requires thought and time.
Today, this week, step aside from life and check what you are building. Simplify your plan, create the essentials, the rhythms that need to be established to get the work done, cut out the unnecessary expenditures of time and energy and money that are not necessary to the overall building and be sure to plan in rest every week along the way.
After coming home from 4 days of a wonderful conference, with lots of stimulation and ideas, I am home today, reworking my own plan of what I am building and will build in the year to come, and evaluating what is necessary, what my limitations are and what I can realistically complete.
May God bless your planning and vision, for without a plan, nothing great can be built.
Love this Sally! I see so many mom’s live in the moment and when the moment is over they wonder what to do next. We need to remember to seek God’s plan in each moment.
Praising our Great Lord for you once again! Thank you for being my mentor!
THANK YOU SALLY, I never get tired of hearing or reading this from you. It spurs my heart on each time I am reminded of my influence and calling. Eventhough, I fall into the category of being overwhelmed , a dysfunctional planner and not seeing my role modeled well. I know my loving God will supply what I need and equip me., example,through His word, prayer , your books and wise counsel. Praising God for you!
I think I’m a bit afraid to see what I’m building! I am a planner, big time, and I have lofty hopes for myself as a Mom and for my toddler. But, sometimes I get overwhelmed at the thought of all the planning and deliberateness that you speak of. I think of my own Mom, who is a fantastic Mom, (she got better and better the older I got!) and yet I am certain she did not have any building plans for our family. She was busy working, trying to be a good wife, involved in the church and trying to keep house, oh, and raise us kids. Sometimes I say to myself, well, my Mom wasn’t as deliberate as Sally is, but us kids turned out okay. But, then when I’m honest with myself, I really don’t want to be lazy or try to convince myself that I can slack a little on the amount of effort I put into our family. I want to be the best Mom possible. That being said, I am so grateful for your blog and your books and I’m excited for yours and Sarah Mae’s upcoming book. Thank you for taking the time to speak into the lives of strangers. I can’t imagine how busy a life you lead and yet you are so gracious to pass along what you’ve learned to others. Thank you!
It was so wonderful to chat with you while sitting around a table and to connect with your friend Lin. I am very excited that Father brought her into my life and am excited at the mentoring possibilities. Beautiful post. I am off to do some planning
As usual Sally, your post speaks right to my heart. I have completely been the foolish woman, even after becoming saved later in life. I was the one sideswiped as you described, and when growing up alone with my brother, watching after-school tv specials while our dad was at work (my mom left when I was 7yo), I thought all those situations we viewed were normal for ever family … these things happened in my life (sexual abuse, drugs being used, physical abuse, yelling/screaming) and now I saw it all on tv too – this must be normal family life. I didn’t really think there was anyone to care enough, or to stop it. Maybe I even deserved it (I thought that then, I now know that is never true). It wasn’t until much later when a new neighbor moved in and started taking me to church – no one else in my family wanted to attend. Then my wonderful dad (he never did anything that I mentioned above … it was other family members or our own mother) remarried and I finally had a mom. Still, it was too late, and I was on a path and on this path did I live for many years. In my 30s, after being lonely and running most of my life from nightmares and emotional pain (the physical heals), I finally met a real person, a good man andone that cares and has hung in there with me. We married and started a family. During my first pregnancy, I kept thinking of my childhood and was determined it would be extremely different my children (much of me becoming a mom is actually my testimony to accepting Jesus and how God has reached me to my ver core several times). I have a benchmark, and I use said benchmark as the type of mom I do NOT want to be. I came to know Jesus as my Saviour shortly after the birth of my first daughter and I continue to grow in Him and His words from the Bible everyday. Having a plan is way different from my type-A personality (I constantly have a need to be in control. Now, that’s funny being a Christian b/c I’ve had to give up so much control to Him). I constantly need a plan and vision in place before I lose it, and I need everyday, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DAY (still), to wake up and give my day to Him and be ready & prepared to handle myself in a manner that will allow me to stand before Him on judgement day with a little less shame. I’m not perfect and I still mess up, and ufortunately I will again as much as I don’t want to and try not to, but I haven’t abused my children. I so badly want to be a Godly role model to my girls and pass on to them His truths so that they can continue to pass it on to their children, grandchildren, etc. Thank you, thank you, thank you Sally for reaching out to us. Thank you for your encouragement & reminders. Thank you for listening to Him yourself and witnessing to us. I LOVE your posts.
In Him ~
Sandi
Wow! I have had such a discouraging last couple of days and have been completely overwhelmed and wondering at certain moments why I have to care so much. Sometimes it just seems easier to do what everyone else is doing.
Thank you for speaking to my heart today. Some days I wish God would just swoop me up and tell me all the things I need to hear, but perhaps He has sent me your wise words and encouragement. So, thank you again.
Thank you! You are a sweet gift to me from the Lord. You have provided lots of refreshment to me…I was so tickled to see what happended to you with your computer. You have been such a blessing in my life; I was glad to see the Lord bless you!
WOW. You have hit the nail on the head.
I wish I could step away from life for a bit, but it follows me wherever I go. ‘nuf said.
“Today, this week, step aside from life and check what you are building. Simplify your plan, create the essentials, the rhythms that need to be established to get the work done, cut out the unnecessary expenditures of time and energy and money that are not necessary to the overall building and be sure to plan in rest every week along the way.”
Thank you Sally for this encouragement. I am in the midst of raising small children and have been feeling “the need to breathe” as you and Sally Mae put it. Thank you for this reminder to seek the Lord in planning what I am building. I need someone to speak into my life right now. Thank you for doing that.
Thank you, THANK YOU for your posts. I really don’t have anyone speaking these challenging and encouraging words into my life except for you. I am a momma of two little girls and feel SO blessed to be reading your book, Mission of Motherhood, and your blog. I get so excited when I see that you’ve written a new post and look forward to each and every one. May the Lord strengthen and encourage you today!
What a beautiful post filled with such wisdom. Oh Lord, help us to be the women You have called us to be.
So… how do I go about making a plan?
-overwhelmed
Love this post and it stirred my heart. But, to April’s comment….how DO I go about making a plan? And, how do I find support for a plan when I am a believer and my husband is not (and not thrilled with mentions of Him.) How? How? How?
I second April J’s question….. What does forming a plan look like and entail? I’m a planner, but to plan something this big seems really overwhelming in light of all the “tyranny of the urgent” things on my plate. How do we tame the urgent to see beyong to the bigger picture? And how practically does one sit down and form a plan like this?
Would love some practical ideas on this??
Sally,
I am another mother who is inspired and encouraged by your words every day….thank you for sharing
your wisdom and for mentoring us all. Along with the other women who recently posted, I also feel pretty clueless as far as how to construct a plan. Could you enlighten us on what that really looks like?
Thank you! Appreciate you!
Ashley
Like others, I have been overwhelmed lately, and this post speaks to my heart and current situation – the need for that planning so that I don’t look back later on and have so many regrets.
I feel like I’m in a constant tug of war between what I should do and what I actually do. Doing what I should do does not come naturally, and it is frustrating. When do the rhythms become regular patterns?
Like many others, I do not have a mentor, nor many older Christians who are regularly praying for me; although I have other homeschooling friends, I feel kind of alone and isolated in this journey, strong on the outside but struggling on the inside (I’m an introvert too), and would be so grateful for specific advise on how to create a plan, and on how to keep going… It would be great to have a community to share encouragement, specific prayer, heartfelt listening… Is it somewhere that I’m missing, maybe?