I Take Joy | Beauty

The Secret to Making it to the end of December without blowing apart

December 16, 2012 by Sally 22 Comments

The Cup of Tea ~ Mary Cassatt

I am reposting from a couple of years ago. But as I was rereading this post, it spoke to me. This week has added stress to an already very stressful season with the shootings and economy and so much more.

But the essence of this post is still so true. We must guard our health–mentally, spiritually and physically, and see that we do not run dry, or else we will crater. Even today, I decided to lay down for 15 minutes and just seek peace because I needed that more than I needed to keep pumping more adrenalin into my body from so much to do.

So, today, instead of mentoring Monday, I offer you the admonition to take care of yourself today, say no to something, sit down and listen to some music for 5 minutes with a lit candle–just find a way to decide to walk this week with peace.

Dear Sally,
HELP!!!!!!!!
Love,
A Mom

Dear Mom,

I have said and felt a need for help so very often and so I offer you my best advice. First of all, chill out. Take a little time for yourself until you can get perspective. I hope something I say may help. I have had to learn that no one else in the world will be responsible for my over-all well being. I have a husband and children who need me, and as I have said before, they are going to want to continue eating every day and want to wear relatively clean clothes, with the expectation that I will be the one to keep this going. However, there are times I run out of soul-fuel and have to stop it all to refuel the tank of my heart, soul, mind and body.

As we all know, if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. So, I have to tend to my own happiness and well being and you need to tend to yours.

I am responsible for my rest, my quiet time, my eating and exercise, filling my cup, so that it will not be empty when others want to keep taking and taking from me–and I am also the manager of my my chill time. Laughing and lightening up really brings health to the bones. (A joyful heart is good medicine has been proved by the medical research1) I do have countless emails in my inbox vying for my attention, and people expecting to hear from me, but I know that I will never get to them all, even if I wish I could–never, ever, but it is God’s will for me to survive with grace.

And there are tasks calling my name around the house, but I have become the queen of turning my head away and trying to stick to my most important priorities. I have found that there will be just as many things screaming for my attention tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

But today, I know that my body and mind need a little rest and my emotions become frayed and I become grumpy if I don’t create a little break. No one else is going to tell me when I have reached my limit. But if I do not monitor myself, my children and husband and I will come to regret it when I blow! I am a steward of my limitations and body. If I don’t protect my walk with the Lord, it will get eaten up in everyone else’s agenda.

Though still learning, I am always simplifying and evaluating if something is worth the effort–(I do think that making things beautiful and special during the holidays are worth the effort as it builds the taste and values and work ethic and ministry skills of my children–but all in its season, and only so much.

Not everything “we have always done before,” has to be done. Fast food with candles lit is just fine. But it may not be worth it to answer one more phone call or one more email–as this will certainly steal from my children and husband who need me today. Sometimes, I have even been known to hide from my children. It made me smile.

Each of us has a different puzzle and different personality and we must accept our limitations within our own story and be comfortable being ourselves. There is great freedom in deciding to enjoy who I am, as I am not going to essentially change any time soon! I see so many moms seeking to live up to other’s expectations and ideals and then burning out in the process. I have high work times, and times when I just can’t get anything done–and somehow the world does not crash when I take time to just live and enjoy, and avoid the “I have to do everything or I will be a failure” syndrome.

It is why I have my cup of tea every day–a way of saying, “I will take time for a moment of pleasure and peace, because it centers me, and I have decided I will last a lot longer in this very long distant race, if I build anchors of serendipity into my schedule.”

If you and I don’t eventually make peace with our own life circumstances, then we are in danger of cultivating a heart of bitterness, inadequacy, guilt or whining, or possibly blowing apart into oblivion. But if we become the conductors of our own life symphonies and live within our own melody of life, we will last longer more gracefully with the God of grace who leads us.

Spend time in God’s word and let Him love you and you love Him back. He came for you–he came to comfort. Let His comfort be yours. You cannot find peace without the prince of peace.

Take time to regroup today–Go eat some chocolate, and don’t feel guilty as you are eating it–that is a waste of good chocolate! Listen to some beautiful music, watch a heart-warming movie, take a nap, eat off of paper plates! The rest of December is still coming and you will be the better for it! I’ll be praying for you!

Love,
Sally

Filed Under: Holidays, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Ponderings, Simplicity

Fillers, spillers and thrillers–subding my deck!

May 23, 2012 by Sally 8 Comments

Geraniums–a great choice for my mountain home in a very large antique copper pot

In Genesis, God tells us to “subdue” the earth. This word has gone a long way to give me vision in my home–really it has.

I am wired, designed, crafted by God with the abilities, the intelligence, the skills to overcome disorder and to bring a mark of his artistry to my home and life. It is one of the greatest pleasures granted us.

To rule over something in such a way as to bring order, beauty, productivity. To know that it is a grace and glory of a woman to civilize and bring life and excellence in society. I am a purpose-driven sort of girl and if I have a reason why I am doing something, then it gives me more fuel for the fire, so to speak to accomplish something. To me, this is one of the fun parts of my calling.

Truth is, I love flowers and roses. However, my mountain home has resisted me having a green thumb. Not a lot of great soil. Too cold. Rock and stone just below the surface of my 7250 elevation home. Resistant in every way.

Small pots of flowers at every little table on porches and back deck–these grow better!

Over the years, I have begun to outsmart this resistant earth to my subduing efforts after many attempts. I am often amazed at what little input I sometimes need to do things differently. I love flowers but I don’t necessarily have a gardener’s intuitive skill. But, Joy, seeming like an only child, because she doesn’t have a gang of kids with her like my older ones did, loves to garden–in spite of the fact that our dirt is plant and bloom resistant.

Pink Mountain Roses in a deep pot! Almost beginning to bloom.

I found that my roses are not prolific because of the infertile ground and rock and cold. So, planting them in pots, only high altitude variety, has begun to work well for me. You cannot see this, but I have 6 buds on this bush just about to bloom–I am a happy girl to see life beginning to thrive on my porch.

I felt like I needed some more professional input on how to master this mountain!

So, I asked a friend and her daughter to join Joy and me for a garden demonstration about how to plant professional pots a couple of years ago.

We all had so much fun–but the desired effect was so much better than what we used to do.

I used to go to Wal Mart, Home Depot or a little natural garden near us and buy some flowers and then pot them according to what appealed to us. But at this demonstration, they taught us a 3 point outline to make great pots for your porch or deck.

Joy’s favorite pot!

It has a fern in the middle as our thriller and 3 kinds of purple and pink flowers for fillers and again, some ivy to spill over the side, which, in the past few days has started growing a lot and spilling even more.

First, pick a THRILLER–this is a tall or dramatic plant that stands up above all other plants to give your pot a dimension–something that stands out and gives the pot some height.

Second, give your pot some FILLERS–those flowers and plants that will take up space or spread–pick a color theme that you will follow throughout your porch or area.

Third, give your pot some SPILLERS—these are those plants that will spill over the side to give dimension.

We were also told to get really big pots so that the water could be retained longer and so that it would not all evaporate on a hot day and have to be watered again.

This is a much more beautiful pot than it looks like in this picture. The purple plants are the thrillers, then two read plants fill out the pot–geraniums and the other tall red plant–can’t remember its name; and some ivy spilling over the side. It has a fern in the middle as our thriller and 3 kinds of purple and pink flowers for fillers and again, some ivy to spill over the side, which, in the past few days has started growing a lot and spilling even more.

Every night, when it is not too cold, we have been eating on our front porch or deck. All of us feel so happy to be surrounded by flowers and also tiny blue lights that sparkle when the sun goes down.

I am still not a great gardner, but slowly over the years, I have had much pleasure in learning to subdue and master the cultivating of my own sort of mountain garden.

Filed Under: Beauty, Crafts, Education, Nature

Richard the Lionheart and taking time to make memories afresh

March 5, 2012 by Sally 7 Comments

Today, I am home after 4 weekends away out of 5 weekends. Whew! So happy to have had the conferences, and speech tourneys and have finished the book–but now, even though my house awaits cleaning and mail is in stacks and suitcases need unpacking and cabinets empty of food, I know that if I do not regularly rest my body and soul and heart–I will not last well and I will burn out. Life pulsing through patterns of light and dark, spring and winter, busyness and laze–illness and health–disaster and mundane–whatever seasons come my way, I lean into them and ride their waves instead of fighting against their patterns of washing through my life.

And so now, weary to the bone, but content of soul, I ponder just how I might visit my daughter, Sarah, who is in Oxford, before she returns. I think I may have a free overseas ticket–of course I will find a way to justify my secret pleasure–time alone with my kindred spirit, who always fills my soul and inspires me, as do her siblings, and so I plan my course. As I was searching, I came across this memory–(doesn’t Joy look young! Oh, my–just a few years ago, and now gone!)

So, I am thinking, a trip to my beloved Austria would be just the remedy to this soul in need of fresh stimulation, pondering, dreaming and rest–so I share this memory with you today. And maybe this is the day you need to take a break and make a memory, too!

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All work and no play makes Joy, Sarah and Sally dull girls. Recently on our mission trip, we had spent an endless stream of days speaking and giving out books and then hopping on another train or plane to go to another group of women with whom we would speak, minister to, give out books and serve. My children usually have to take care of other children, help serve meals, haul boxes of books and wait patiently for me to be through.

How delighted we were, at the end of our trip, to find a whole day free to do as we please. Since we had one free ride left on our train ticket, we decided to take a train to one of our favorite little towns that sits right on a quiet curve of the Danube River. Durnstein is the name of the town. It was a medival town with one narrow road passing through the small, ancient houses. Even today, only one car at a time can fit through the narrow passageway. Once when Clay and I were very young, we visited this town on a free weekend and stayed in the home—(bed and breakfast) where a wine press, over 900 years old, filled the middle of the house.

We chugged along through prim and predictably orderly Austrian villages. Flowering bushes, tulips, and daffodils marked the roadways and pathways and towns. Finally, we arrived at our destination. Story has it that Richard the Lion Heart went to the Crusades through Austria. When he reached his destination, he unearthed Leopold of Austria as the ruler in charge of the Crusades. In retaliation, when Richard was on his journey back home, he was capture by Leopold and place in a prison cell in the castle at the top of the mountain in Durnstein. He kept the whereabouts secret so that no one could rescue the English monarch.

Blondell, Richard’s beloved friend and servant, was a musician, seeking to discover the whereabouts of his master. The story tells us that Blondell strolled throughout the Austrian countryside strumming his lute and singing songs that were familiar to his king. He hoped that his king would hear him through the cell windows and respond. Sure enough, as he climbed around the mountain castle of Durnstein singing, Richard heard and sang back as a sign of his whereabouts. Blondell was then able to bring a group of English soldiers to rescue the King and take him back to England.

The morning we started our hike up to the top of the castle was chill, but sunny. The hike was straight up and arduous to my worn-out knees. Yet, with the encouragement of my younger hiking companions, Sarah and Joy, I completed the hike one more time to walk among the ruins of the old, remains of the legend tale. The views were incomparable as we looked out over the budding vineyards and caught the curl of the Danube winding its way through the sleepy valley. Rewarding ourselves with a hot, marrillen (the small town boasts of its apricots!) and cream cheese pancakes, lathered in whip cream, satisfied our overwhelming hunger. Then, seeing that the time was late, we literally had to run at full speed, a quarter of a mile, fearful of not being able to run another step, to barely catch the last train of the day that would return us to our friends in Vienna. What an adventure to put in our memory books.

Filed Under: Beauty, Family, Family Trips, Food, Ministry, Music, Nature, Our Family, Travel

De-Cluttering your Soul—the Secret to Peace and Rest

December 29, 2011 by Sally 43 Comments

My Home Town

There is something uniquely good about January 1. It marks a new year, a new beginning, a new possibility. It also marks, for me, the reentry into simplicity. I don’t know if there is a more satisfying feeling for me during the year than when we put all of our Christmas things away, the decorations, the remnant of cookies, the clutter. We did that in my home, today. I have also been revisiting an article that I rework every January 1, as it is a pattern I seem to keep needing to learn.

Every year for the past few years, I have pondered and written about de-cluttering my soul. I hope you will be blessed by these thoughts. I am pulling away for a few days, once again, to see what needs to stay and what needs to be cut. I am sending Sarah off to Oxford tomorrow and Nathan back to Hollywood and then we will get back to normal. And so I am deliciously excited to take time alone to get back to my soul.

I love the celebration of life and the traditions and the fun and the beauty of special times spent with my children, husband and friends. But, there is something deeply satisfying to me about getting it all put away and getting back to normal.

Perhaps it is because my normal responsibilities of caring for my family’s needs demand so much of me—cooking nutritious meals, organizing our schedules, cleaning and organizing on a daily basis, homeschooling and add to that ministry—these are enough, but holidays put on that extra load. Routines go by the wayside and so the clutter and demolishing of the house, slowly takes over.

I am not a person gifted in handling details—too much mail, too many catalogues, too many emails, too many options, too many things. The more there is, the more I become responsible for, the more work there is to be done, and so, the more anxious I become. Same with activities. The more I commit to, the more I say yes, the more I have to drive, the more my house gets into a mess, and the more anxious I become, the more hurried we feel, and the more weary I become. When I am not at peace, nothing in our home is at peace.

We can all see how too much clutter and too many piles causes us to feel overwhelmed with life. Consequently, slowly, I have learned to declutter as often as I can—throw away unnecessary stuff. Clay is really the master at this. He helps me get rid of things, organize things and put away things. Yesterday, he decluttered our pantry—threw away chip bags that held little but took up space, cleared out empty water bottles, bad, junky Christmas candy that had been given to us, but would never eaten; baskets that had fallen off of their nails, groceries that had never been put in their place. Now, if someone came into my pantry, they would mistakenly think that I am an organized person. (Thank goodness for Clay!) It made me feel good just to open the door and to see that all was manageable again.

But, I have also come to realize that my brain and heart can be the same way—cluttered with worries, responsibilities, duties, children’s future, finances, time constraints, expectations, disappointments, critical attitudes, resentment. All of these added together, can tend to create soul piles and mind clutter. If I don’t take the time to sort the piles of mind clutter, my spirit becomes a mess and my heart becomes overwhelmed and weary.

It is what awakened me at 4:00 a.m. this morning-soul clutter and worry. It is another reason I like January. It gives me an opportunity to make a new plan, to simplify the mind messes and to start off a whole new year well. In the same way that throwing away stuff and clearing out closets brings me relief, even more, soul and mind cleaning and decluttering brings me rest.

So, as I begin a new year, and head into my conference season, a very busy time for our family, I resolve to deal with my soul-clutter, so that I may have strength to face each day in peace. I come to the place where I know I will find the help that I need. I come to my Father and ask Him to help me, His child, to show me how to make get rid of the junk that is unnecessary, and to help me clean out and organize my soul.

He speaks to me gently.

It was in writing my new book, Dancing with My Father, that I have learned so much about finding joy–and peace. In Him, with Him, by Him all the moments of my busy day. His voice leads me to what I long for–but I must get rid of all that causes me to fret, worry, criticize, control. There is a way….

“In quietness and rest shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15
You need to come to me and give me all those things that are weighing on your heart. Resolve to seek rest and peace.

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

I listed all of my issues this morning in my journal (and there seem to be multitudes of clutter piles in my soul–worries, attitudes, bitterness, weariness, fear, sin and a few more!) These are issues that will suck me dry and my energy dry if I do not notice them in order to clean out my soul!

The Lord prompted, “List all of your issues, give them over to me, don’t hold on to them. I am capable of taking them from you and being responsible so that you will not be weary or carry what you are not capable of carrying.

“Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. “ Psalm 37:7

Focus on resting in me—sit in my lap, so to speak, rest in my arms. Let me carry you. I love you.. Wait for my timing. Don’t force things or beg me to hurry up. I am in control.

“Be still (cease striving) and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
“Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother;
Like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 131:2

Give me your attention and get control of your spirit. Be quiet. Be still. Recognize my sovereignty and transcendence. Remember what Jesus said, “Our Father who art in heaven, holy is your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Jesus modeled his understanding that my will is what you need to rest in. I am in heaven and I see all things—the future, the past, your children, your relationships, –all your clutter. Give them to me. Quiet your soul and rest in my strength and power.

“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one little child like this receives me.” Matthew 18:3-5

Come to me as a child—even as your children, in their innocence and sweetness of heart, know that you will care for them and meet their needs because you are a loving parent who cares for them, so I am your Father who will take care of you. Leave the burdens to your father and take your rightful place as a child. Humble yourself and trust me. Enjoy me. Delight in the beautiful moments of this day. Notice the little miracles. Live as an unfettered child. Accept your little and big children and receive them as a gift from me, and your will indeed receive me inot your midst.

“ … a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” I Peter 3:4

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about so many things. But really one is needed and Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Luke 10 41-42

Don’t worry and fret and stew and stir up unnecessary dust. Choose simplicity—just one thing I require—that you give it all to me and love me. I will take over. Even as I gave and provided a Sabbath in which all of my children should have rest from their work, so I want you to live in my Sabbath rest for your soul. Rest from your striving and labor. Take time for naps, for pleasure, for joy. This day you have to receive as a gift–I can’t promise what tomorrow will hold. But today you can love, give peace, speak kind and wise words, dance in your soul with my secret pleasure that comes from knowing that I love you.Simplify your life, don’t make choices that will complicate or add unnecessary pressure or cause you to sin or grumble. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life,” as Paul said.

So, as I yielded my lists into God’s hands and decluttered my troubled soul, I left feeling that even as my house has been coming to order, after we cleaned and straightened it yesterday, now my soul is moving in the direction of order.

Rest, rest, rest—in quietness and rest will be your strength every day, every year, until you see me face to face. I love you, my sweet girl. Don’t forget that I am with you each moment of today.
Your doting and loving Father.

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May all of you dear friends indeed have a happy and fulfilling new year with your days filled with the blessing of His company! Thanks for so many who have taken the time to write. Each note, Christmas card, picture, email and comment has given me strength and joy. I am sorry I have not responded to each of you as you really mean so much to me and keep me going.I appreciate your words of life so much! Keep writing me as I love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Beauty, Bible Studies, Family, Joyful Life, My Books, Our Family, Ponderings, Simplicity

Cultivating Civility

September 16, 2011 by Sally 13 Comments

Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.
C. S. Lewis

As I pursue the idea of building foundations of truth and beauty and loveliness into the souls of our children, I have to say that we cannot pass on what is not a part of our own lives. A mom is the CEO of her home, the one who determines and cultivates the life, activities, values and soul, she must be working from the depth of her own soul. This is a long term call–a long distance run, and so pacing ourselves, making sure our own emotional cups are full, seeing that we are growing in grace and beauty is essential to modeling that to our children. I will be more intent on writing about how to build foundations in little ones, but first I would suggest that a mom must define, “What kind of a woman do I want to be? How can I become more excellent? How I am doing on growing more in grace and civility each day?” I suggest that each year, moms who want to grow in wisdom, must take a morning or afternoon away to think through personal goals for themselves and the plan in time to make those goals happen. I will be writing more about that after I finish writing about how to establish values that build children into strong, godly leaders. But, first, you must define who you want to be, so that the influence you give to your children will come from your own soul-set values and convictions. Below I share a story of my own life from a few years ago–and I see that my children love it when I am a picture of civility–it draws them to their finer selves! Enjoy.

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Excitement bubbled up inside as I considered the day I had charted for myself. A morning away as a real, live friend, around my own age! Carefully applying my make up, smoothing my hair to its most beautiful style and dressing up in something a bit more sophisticated than my regular jeans marked an adult day out with a beloved friend. Time away from my work-a-day world of children, dishes, teaching, writing and then doing it all over again, is rare. I am one who sometimes likes the predictable on such days–depending on those places I know will bring pleasure and comfort. Meeting my friend in a favorite cafe promised to provide a spot for catching up and sharing dreams and ideas. Now the reason I am telling you this is that I was looking for a day off–a day without conflict, a day of rest before the “busy-ness” of the year starts again!

High-backed, overstuffed chairs provided privacy from the other customers and just the settling in we needed for our morning together. A steamy pot of tea, warm apple-caramel coffee cake all went down easily. Times like this help me to find my center. A busy and passed-too-fast summer had left me a bit fragmented and out of breath. I was storing up this pleasure and goodness and relaxation against the very busy next few months of a new school year, which is upon me!

After an hour and a half of conversation, we were ready to proceed on to our next pleasure–a stop at a lovely gift shop, filled to the brim with china tea cups and pots, delectable bits of jams and jellies and tea; a beautiful array of cook books and biographies and children’s books, feminine clothing and an array of other girl-pleasing artifacts. We hoped to exchange some ideas with the owner about books and art and other future projects.

Just walking in was a pleasant sensate experience, because of all the pretty and fine gifts scattered around the shop. As we chatted with the store owner about our day and some of the books and one of my new projects, she engaged with us in lively conversation. I looked at my watch and realized that I needed to be home to take Joy to a choir practice and so I tried to savor my few minutes as of quiet heart-sharing with my friend. We left the shop and I drove home. Much to my pleasure, the traffic was much less than usual and I found myself home with a half-hour to spare.

I chose not to glance in the kitchen to see what messes were there, but instead, made myself a cup of hot tea. I knew the messes would be there to tame when we all got back home later. I walked over the backpack and a small stack of books on my stairs to my bedroom. They could be cleaned up before dinner. I walked in, lit my candles, turned on my cd with the soothing piano melodies rising and flowing from my Pride and Prejudice cd (very beautiful, by the way!). Joy, who had been in her room reading, heard me and gently knocked on my door.

“Come in, sweetness!” I responded. “Here, have a few sips of tea with me before we have to leave.”

She sat down, and began to bubble all over me with thoughts and ideas and incidences that had happened in her morning. I intentionally took a deep breath and observed with thanksgiving at my child who has so much become my delightful friend. We had fifteen minutes together in peace and pleasure.

“Mom, I am so glad you take time for civility–it makes me feel special, and most of all, it really makes me feel like you like listening to me and just celebrating life together.” (Has she been around Sarah lately? And now, she regularly lights candles, sips tea and reads–hummmm–where did she get the habit?)

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I taught my monthly mom’s group and we were discussing chapter 8 in Mission of Motherhood. Our topic was becoming the gardener of your children’s souls. Even as you would not expect a garden to emerge from throwing a handful of seeds into the wind into your back yard, so we cannot expect our children to have excellence in their own personal lives by just hoping it happens. Though education is important, it is mostly the way we invest in the other moments of life when our children’s souls, manners, habits, skills will determine who they really become. When we become the gardener of their souls, we plant beauty, memories, confidence, and winsome ways of living that will capture their own imaginations. (Mission of Motherhood)

First, we must take time to be civilized. I know that my soul dries out if I don’t plan in time that fills my own emotional cup. Getting away from my home (where all the chores cry out my name!), to a lovely place where I can think or read or share time with a friend is something I try to plan into my schedule. It doesn’t happen as often as I like, but I need it so that I can get back to my center and fill the cups of all those who are in my life to take from my own heart–children, husband, friends, and ministry. I will have nothing to give if I don’t take care of myself first. So each year as I plan my children’s needs and schedules and activities, I take time to get alone and evaluate, “How am I doing–physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally? How can I simplify my responsibilities so that I can make it with grace through the next months.

Next, though, I make sure to plan in civilizing times with my family–traditions like family dinners or deserts that we will share with our friends, special Sunday afternoon tea times–the first Apple Pie time with a story book. (Giving my children the responsibility of decorating the dining table, writing little notes of encouragement to their guests who will come, lighting the candles, making the meal.) We plan a time for making cookies or bread or flower baskets to share with those we know who are in need of encouragement or love. (We found cute pumpkin baskets and filled them with dried flowers–Joy sold a few to raise money for a dog she hopes to purchase and then we chose two for special family friends who need to know they are appreciated.)

Plan civility into the moments of your life this fall. Make time for you to have your own experience, however small, that will remind you that you are royalty–as a child of the king. And then, make time for your family, to have peace and beauty and manners and elegance in your home, however small. It will produce a soul that values taking the time to celebrate the importance and intimacy of friendship and fellowship. Happy weekend!

Filed Under: Education, Food, Mothering, Music, My Books, Tea, Traditions

Filling Your Soul With Love and Grace Divine

March 23, 2011 by Sally 26 Comments

Claude Monet, Woman in the Garden

“I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

I have received thousands of responses to my blogs on child discipline lately. I see how many sweet ones there are who truly want to do the best and be the best for their children. But before I do one more post on child discipline, I just felt I wanted to tell you how very precious you are and how much your own personal life matters.

I awakened this morning with you on my heart. I know there must be many precious moms out there who are reading these articles and are feeling inadequate or guilty or condemned–or just worn out! I have been praying for you all morning.

Motherhood is very precious to the Lord. As a matter of fact, the more I mothered, the more I came to understand Him, His love, His sacrifice, His forgiveness, His patience. Motherhood is not an easy journey. I kept feeling that I needed to have more children so I could do it right at least once!

And yet motherhood is a long journey, a hard and challenging journey, that will require much endurance with grace, much forgiveness, much patience and just a whole lot of energy expended.

You are truly important to God in the midst of it all. He sees you and cares for your dreams and desires. And so I wanted to write a little post just for you.

When I had my first baby, I had never even changed a diaper. I did not know how to hold a baby. I was unprepared for the task. I also did not know how selfish and self-absorbed I was. And I have to admit that over the years, there were many times when I did not feel loving or feel like a good mother or even feel like I wanted to *be* a mother. I was always committed to my children and always committed to loving them, because I knew God wanted me to. But I did not always like them and sometimes that made me feel guilty.

I just put one foot in front of the other because I thought that is what God wanted me to do.

So if you feel that you are not a “natural” mother, or you enjoy doing things outside your home, or you have other ambitions, please do not condemn yourself. I felt all of those feelings and had to learn how to balance the different pulls on my life. But God has loved me and led me through it all.

I know that there are so many of you precious ones with deep scars. Perhaps you came from an angry family, where you were criticized or rejected. Or maybe you were ignored and you still wish someone would notice you and love you deep inside in those places that only you can feel.

Many of you made some bad choices morally that have deeply injured your own heart. Or you have a passive and indifferent or mean and abusive husband.

You are not defined by any of these things–not by what people have said to you, not by your flaws (we all have them), and not by your past failures or present difficulties. God loves you so very much. God is with you. God is your champion.

We read that when He looked out on the multitudes, He had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Jesus sees our needs. He loves us. He cares for how each of you feel deep in your heart.

You are so very precious to God. He is on your side. He will be your warrior God in all the battles in your home. He will help you and defend you and pour out His unconditional love on you. He is the source of your strength and joy. Nothing can separate you from His love. Romans 8

There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

The only way we can truly make it in this life productively is to tend to the garden of our own souls. The only way you can be a loving mother or friend is to have your soul filled with the deep, unchanging, unconditional love of God.

I love the picture above. I picture my soul as a garden that must be tended and cultivated and watered. If my own soul is healthy, then all who draw from my soul, will receive true nurture and strength. However, I do not know of any great women who have not been very intentional about cultivating and building themselves into godly women. They invested purposefully to become who they are.

A wise woman builds her house, but it starts with a plan!

You may find criticism from the world. But in Christ, you will find love, deep, abiding, unconditional love and all that you need for your task. But you must choose to invest your time wisely.

So what are some ways to fill your own soul so that you may have strength and love to give?

1. Surround yourself with good and godly friends.

I once heard a speaker say that he will do anything to put himself in the company of people who make Him want to love God more, who make Him want to be a better person–who inspire Him. But that he would avoid all of those who spread poison or gossip or discouragement as much as possible.

I have a friend, Phyllis, who I know will always point me to God. Just being with her is like being in the presence of the Lord’s encouragement, because she walks with Him and points me to him. Gwen is such a friend, and Deb, Shelley, Lynn, Beth and Sarah and Joy, ……….I gather these friends over the years and invest in them because they invest in me.

Find those friends, challenge a friend to be a prayer partner, to study a book together, to meet with you on a regular basis.

2. Spend time every day with the Lord. Find books, resources, people who can help you with this. (Go though the Psalms and circle or underline every promise or character quality of God. Read one chapter of John or Matthew a day and write down one lesson you have learned. Read through Philippians and note all the ways Paul tells us to follow Jesus.)

3. Clean out your soul on a regular basis–get rid of the rubbish that has kept you from experiencing God’s love. (If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us from our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.) Don’t hang on to bitterness or condemnation–it will poison you. I have a friend, Sarah Mae, who is dear to me as though she were a daughter. She has recently published an ebook called Core Lies, that she is offering for free. We must rid our hearts from lies that would keep us from experiencing the generous love of God.

4. Surround yourself with books, blogs, people who feed your mind on truth, who draw you to become a better self. There are many, many women in my life who do that to me. But I wanted to point you to three of my favorites.

I love these women because they have chosen to have integrity in their lives when no one was looking. They have invested thousands of hours in the presence of God. They have chosen to love and serve Him, to always turn in the direction of faith. I know they are not perfect, but they hold fast to a Faithful God who carries them. They are also seasoned women who have chosen to faithfully love and serve their children, and husbands, even amidst challenging times. They have weathered life and from that weathering, have garnered stories of His faithfulness. Feed on their life-giving words. I do so love these women.

Brenda Nuland– a mother of two grown children, who cultivates life, beauty, goodness and faithfulness in her home.Brenda always encourages me, feeds my soul and gives me loyal friendship.

Elizabeth Foss–a sweet mother of 9 children, whose devotion to God, gentle mothering of her children, and great thoughts always challenge me. She is humble and loyal as a friend and has learned to persevere with grace.

Ann Voskamp-an artist with words and photography, who deeply cherishes her precious Lord and wants to sing his messages into the lives of those in her pathway. Her gentle, humble words are always filled with grace that she found from walking closely with Him.

5. Spend time in nature–his workshop. When I see the artistry of God, and rest in the glory of the canopy of His beauty, I find great peace. Creation was made for us. He designed the stars for us to understand His vastness–His strength and ability to be bigger than us, to show us His power. He designed color, flowers, mountains, waterfalls, snow, rain, to show us His design. When I invest time in His works of art, I am inspired to reflect His art and beauty in my home as a picture of His reality in an otherwise dark world. Creation nurtures my soul when I take time to observe it.

6. Restore, relax, recreate. Young moms need a break.(and old moms and moms of teens, and……..) They need sleep. Sometimes grumpiness or depression goes away with just a couple of good nights of sleep or time away with a friend. Moms need to have a friend who understands them and still loves them! They need to laugh and lighten up. Cultivate times of breaks in your life, times of just getting away. Don’t always be serious–it is exhausting.

Our bodies need a sabbath rest. I take my tea time every day with a candle, book or magazine. I collect videos and movies and series of stories that delight my soul. I surround myself with music everywhere–at home, in the car, at dinner, when I am in a plane. I love rhythms and movement. I make time for cherished friends. I make fun for myself with my children so that we can just laugh and play and store up humor–everyone needs a break. (Read my daughter, Sarah’s blog post from a couple of days ago–Christians need to learn how to lighten up and have fun.)

These precious ones are not just public figures to me, but in the privacy of friendship, offer such grace, humility, love and always make me want to love Him more.

This blog is way too long, but the point is, you are important. Your emotional, spiritual and physical health matters to God. If you cherish your soul and become a good steward of your needs, you will be stronger for your journey of life and more ready to meet its demands. But you are the one who must plan how to endure with grace and beauty. You must create a plan that best suits your puzzle of life. Grace and beauty and peace in the midst of it all.

Filed Under: Art, Beauty, Friends, Home, Joyful Life, Lifegiver, Mothering, Music, Nature, People, Ponderings, Relationships, Simplicity, Tea, Trust in God

Saturday moments: Awhirl with life and thoughts

March 19, 2011 by Sally 8 Comments

up at 4:21 and could not sleep.

Quiet time by candlelight, so as not to awaken Clay with the light of the living room reflecting in His eyes through our bedroom door.

Concentrating, meditating on the Lord who is with me (I will be with you always, the Lord who lives to make intercession for us; I have loved you with an everlasting love.) Letting His love fill my heart. Looking at the lovely soft candle-light and remembering Him as the light of the world–asking to let His light shine into my heart.

Reading: “Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; My soul thirsts for you, my flesh yearns for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1

I am a tangle of emotion. Sadness is deep inside for things lonely and unanswered. My heart seeks that place of contentment for now, as I want Him to know my gratefulness for all He has answered and all He has been to me over the years. I spend time worshipping Him.

Going early with Sarah for coffee before she and Joy go to play rehearsal for our church’s Easter production.

Eating homemade granola for breakfast (3 + cups organic whole oats, 3/4 cup slivered almonds, 3/4 cup pecans, 1/4 cup maple syrup and oil, a sprinkle of brown sugar to taste 1/4 to 1/2 cup, a teaspoon of salt, cranberries or apricots or raisins and baked for 1 hour, 15 minutes at 250 degrees–stirring every 15 minutes) with Greek Yoghurt.

Making Cottage pies and soda bread for Joy’s belated St. Patrick’s Day party at our home tonight. Putting together another car scavenger hunt for teams of friends based on Ireland and Patrick and celtic folklore, a quiz about famous Irish people and history and games.

Joel, music and creativity bubbling up all over.

Reserving seats on a plane for Joy and me to fly to Boston to see Joel honored in his concert in Boston. How did my dear little boy, gentle Joel, who would squish next to me in my overstuffed chair in the mornings, with his knees folded in front of him, tall up to his chin and tee shirt pulled over to his ankles, saying, “Mama, let’s be close and talk,” grow up to become the composer of the year with two other men, with professional musicians performing his string quartet and 4 movements of a piece, in a live concert, and so very sophisticated and confident? He makes me so very delighted inside and brings smiles to me over the phone. Such a loyal, encouraging companion, so thoughtful, full of integrity. Such potential lies in the depths of these precious ones entrusted into our hands. Music and graciousness always flowed out of his soul, but I could never have imagined….

Reviewing and reading several chapters of Clay’s newest version of Educating the Whole Hearted Child today, as he wrapped it up yesterday. Observing what an insightful writer he is of life-changing ideas. Pondering the ideals we embarked upon 27 years ago, the first time we spoke about homeschooling to any parents. Seeing the fruit after all these years–that what we gave our lives to was true after all–and to see His hand of faithfulness and grace through the seasons, as I reread and ponder our shared ideals and dreams so long ago launched in faith. (out May 1!)

Knowing there will be a couple of cups of tea or coffee tucked into my moments and maybe even a nap, since getting up at 4:21 may not take me through the day.

I must write Him a thank you note from my heart. Grateful for His faithfulness, His strength and joy in the midst of each step of our journey. Acknowledging His call to remain faithful today, and each day ahead, only by His empowering to keep going. Looking this day for the fingerprints of His present love. Seeking to love Him back.

Filed Under: Beauty, Children, Ponderings, Prayer, Trust in God

Sunday Pondering ~ Love

February 13, 2011 by Sally 4 Comments

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8a

When I graduated from college, I worked on the staff of Campus Crusade for 2 years at the University of Texas and then I moved to Eastern Europe to travel in Communist countries as a missionary. I had the illusion that because I had a committed heart, I was mature.

But since the Lord is a good parent, and He wanted me to grow into the likeness of Christ, and he saw that I was quite young, immature, self-centered and full of pride, he knew I needed more practice and training to become more like Christ.

So he gave me a husband and children, so that I could really find out what sacrificial love was all about. It has not been easy to pull out the weeds of expectations; to fight the storms of giving up my rights; to endure the drought of feelings that did not always match up to what I thought a loving wife and mother should feel in a happy home. But, I kept holding on to Him, pondering His life and seeking to be loyal through faith in His reality and presence, even though I could not always see Him.

Now, though still growing, I have learned so much more about true love, self-sacrifice, commitment. long-suffering–and it has all made me love Him more because I see how much of my life has required that of Him–as I have tested Him, misbehaved, thrown tantrums, and pulled away at times. But still He loves me and still He sacrificed for us while we were yet sinners.

Love, like the beautiful rose garden at Glen Eyrie Castle above, must grow over years and years to become mature. It must be cultivated and watered and nurtured and protected and worked again.

Thank you, sweet Lord, that you showed me the way and went before me to model real love.

“Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down His life for His friends.”

Love slowly dawns on my soul as I watch you throughout my life, and I am humbled and brought to worship of you, the great Lover.

Filed Under: Beauty, Nature, Ponderings

Sunday Pondering ~ Our Mighty God

January 30, 2011 by Sally 2 Comments

The Lord on high is mightier
Than the noise of many waters,
Than the mighty waves of the sea.
Psalm 93:4

How I love the ocean–listening to the thunder, grasping the power! This is in my mind as I go to California–to ponder these thoughts.

Grace to your Sunday!

Psalm 93:4

Filed Under: Joyful Life, Nature, Ponderings, Trust in God

Sunday Pondering ~ Forgiven

January 23, 2011 by Sally 2 Comments

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Psalm 51:7

We cannot be perfect, ever, no matter how sincere we are, no matter how hard we try.

It is why the great physician came, to heal, to love, to comfort us. Today, He has washed away all evidences of your sin. Your flaws, your anger, your regrets–all washed away. Your soul is as pure and white as snow.

Halleluja! What a savior! Praise God for His chasing me, adopting me, loving me, bearing with me, forgiving me. What a savior. Blessed Sunday to you.

Filed Under: Beauty, Joyful Life, Nature, Ponderings