Carl Boch–Jesus with children
“But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Matthew 19:14
I pondered all the verses that were in the New Testament when Jesus was with children. “Do not hinder them from coming to me.”
What would hinder a child from coming to jesus–since I am the picture of Jesus in my home. Fear would–fear of harshness, fear of condemnation, fear of anger. Guilt prevented Adam and Eve from coming to God. Perhaps raising a child with constant condemnation or anger could turn little children away–at least it would turn me away if it was the atmosphere in my home.
In my quiet time one memorable day, I read the words that Jesus said, “Woe to the one who causes the least of these little ones to stumble.”
Jesus takes very seriously our role with children. And so I keep searching His words, His heart.
“Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life.”
After he washed the feet of his disciples, “If I did this to you, you should also do this to one another.”
And then, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35
“By this, Sally, your children will know that you are my disciple, if you love one another–love Clay, love them, love your neighbors and friends. Love is the foundation for my laying down my life. Love must be your foundation. ” He spoke to me gently in my quiet times.
Teaching my children, then, to love is the goal. To love generously, lavishly, undeservedly, as Jesus loved the disciples, as Jesus loves me.
And how did He teach them to love? By instructing, by modeling love to them, by laying down his life to serve the meek and lowly, by dying to himself and giving up all for their sake.
I know my limitations–I did not know how to love in a mature way when my children were given into my hands. I did not know how to be unselfish.
Jesus knows that I am sometimes impatient, that I am selfish, that I am still learning to be mature, but that one of the places where Jesus teaches me to be mature is in my home, as I learn to practice love, practice patience–to practice gracious, forgiving sort of loving, to practice laying down my life as I get up one more time at night, wash one more dish, correct one more attitude.
My home and what I practice there becomes my sanctification, my story of His life through mine–this home He designed, was for my own character training, because as a Father, He knows I need practice in becoming like Him.
–He has used my sweet children to make me more like Him. Learning to love them and learning how to love my husband has taught me more about his own unconditional love, than any other assignment He has given to me. So I said I wanted to be mature, and He gave me a marriage and children and He humbled me and brought me to my knees.
Now, I receive His grace and forgiveness with a more grateful heart–because I see my selfishness, my sin more clearly as I live in front of my children and am grateful that He is patient with me—
that He gives me one more chance to obey–over and over
and that does not reject me.
And so in the messy living of life, pondering Him, seeking to model Him, learning to love and model love, parenting becomes even more meaningful because I realize I cannot separate my service of Him from authentic serving of those He has placed into my hands in my home.
So, as I learn this philosophy of love by pondering Him, I teach my children how to love.
Loving them means training them, correcting them, discipling them, teaching them, so that they can learn a healthy way of life. Loving them also means practicing long suffering as Jesus did. Practicing serving as Jesus did. Teaching over and over again and forgiving—just as Jesus did.
Loving them means rocking them and singing gentle love songs.
Serving them delicious meals with joy and touching them with gentle affection.
Loving them teaches, ”You may not say those unkind words, it is not the loving way of Jesus. How could you have said that in a way that gives grace?”
When a toddler throws a toy or hits a child, I grab him into my arms and say very seriously, “You may never, never hit another as that is hateful. You may only use your hands to bless and to give love. Tell him you are sorry–you must ask him for forgive you.”
Loving them means helping them to recognize the roots of sin in their hearts that will bring death. And I look deeply at the heart–I correct the heart attitudes of pride, selfishness, anger, critical spirit–with the words, the truth of Jesus. I lead them to love, teach them to love, show them how to love, bring them with me in serving love in my home, to others, in my ministry.
And in loving them and instructing them and bringing them with me in this life where I am living and learning love, their hearts are softened and they in turn become lovers, they learn to forgive as they have been shown grace, they learn to lay down their lives as it has been modeled to them.
As Paul also follows the pattern of Jesus and says, “Through love, serve one another.” “ Now I, Paul, myself urge you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ,” He also learned that to lead means to love and wrote I Cor. 13.
And Paul, the great discipler, because He loved Jesus said, “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.”
Jesus wanted children to freely come into His presence, to know the touch of his arms wrapped around them. To know that because he designed them–their personality, their body, hair, eyes, that he would look upon them with love, listen to their jokes and antics and laugh with them. He would tenderly care for them, as he said, “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.”
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And so, His word, His life, pondering Him, seeking Him, gave me a pattern, that has served to reach way down into the hearts of my children–a way to follow, and in this form of parenting, my own heart has been transformed, filled, affirmed. I will forever be different by practicing being Jesus in my home.
What an amazing reminder. As I step into motherhood I hope that I can remember these truths, from Gods word.
Im adding this to baby Roo’s Journal
Thanks, Sally!!
Thank you Sally. It is a constant, day by day “becoming like Him” isn’t it?! I needed to read this today for that reminder. Blessings to you sweet friend.
Sally,
You hit me right between the eyes with this one. Or maybe it was the Lord hitting me over the head…
Sally, I don’t even know you and I love you dearly!! All I can say is AMEN to every word you’ve said in your post! I have learned these things very late in my mothering, and the Lord is working on my heart even more through your words. I so much desire to please Him, abide in His grace, and be that example to my husband and children.
Thank you so much! Wish I knew you in my early mothering days!
What a beautiful reminder, Sally! So needed to hear this today as I am struggeling with showing love instead of harshness way too often it seems! Thank you for your life giving words once again and getting me re-focused!!!!
Along with trying to model this life of love, I also use “love” as the verb in our conversations: Will you act loving or ugly? How could you say that in a loving way instead of saying it in an ugly way? How could you show love to her instead of acting ugly? Can you use loving, beautiful words? How could we love your friend who feels sad?
Thank you for this post! It especially reminded me that showing patience (for me, especially in my tone of voice!) instead of anger or impatience is a huge part of modeling love to my little ones.
Thank you, Sally! Even though we’ve never met, you are one of my mentors and you have inspired me to be the wife and momma that Jesus wants me to be. I love how, time and time again, when I read your words, I am brought back to the path of life and love — back to right thinking. I especially appreciate the specific and practical examples of how to really live these biblical ideals. Thank you so much for your life-changing ministry!
Eek. I had some harsh words for my children today. SUCH a good post for me! Thank you!!!
I needed this reminder today. I know feel refreshed and focused again. Thank you!
so good. I enjoy your posts so much!!
Thanks! This one goes into my “I Take Joy” folder! Love you! Blessings, Shannon C
Thank you so much for this post! Your words are so helpful.
” My home and what I practice there becomes my sanctification, my story of His life through mine–this home He designed, was for my own character training, because as a Father, He knows I need practice in becoming like Him.”
This is so good, so true, and so encouraging. THANK YOU!
That was to me also. God really wanted me to hear this post and hit me over the head too. Thank you Sally for your post. God bless!
Thanks so much for this post! I’ve especially enjoyed the last few posts on parenting. Do you have any books you recommend on this kind of parenting (I own most of yours
? At my church we’re currently doing a book study with many good things, however, a very harsh, single method of discipline. Everyone else is on board, but I feel God telling me to go a more grace-based way. That said, I want my little ones to obey and love others, and want to follow a Biblical way, etc. Any suggestions?
PS I have your book “Our 24 Family Ways” but my kids are still pretty little, ie. 3 1/2 yrs, 2 yrs, and 5 months. I’ve looking for something for the toddler/preschool years, before you can just talk and reason with them.
WOW, Sally! God seems to use your words time after time in my life to somehow encourage and yet gently convict me at the same time! Thank you for writing them.
Sally,
This was such a blessing to read today…. thank you for continuing to minister to mothers and help us find our way along this very important calling of motherhood and parenting.
Love you,
Tiany
Teaching childeren to love is great but Paul teaches that if were in Christ we will want to love not hate. So teach the childeren about Jesus the Holy Spirit will come to them with there faith as it grows in Christ